It's time for HOLEHILLLLLLLLLS!!!!!!!!
For this one I was struggling a little bit with how to combine the bass and the middle voices in m3-m18 in a way that's fun to play and sounds good. Right now I just settled for being more accurate but it's a little awkward to play imo but if other people think it's fine then I'll leave it. There's a lot of wacky harmonies in m31-m34, though it's mostly just chromatically rising in the chords and I dunno what's happening in the melody.
[musx] (https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/jl2cye3y22v0qykiy0n9y/PMDGTI-Holehills.musx?rlkey=rd6t9fqmhlujn20is124hyn69&dl=0) [mus] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/h9lu78wkgich18h/Holehills.mus?dl=0) [pdf] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/js1xv5tf2xmmqb5/Holehills%20-%20Score.pdf?dl=0)
And joining the fray is Withered Savannah!!!
I want the right hand to play the chords on beat 1 in m1, m7, m17, and m21 but I'm struggling to find a clean way to notate that. Right now it's just in the bottom staff and I labelled it vaguely, but I also considered adding a 3rd clef or just putting it in the top staff but it looked messy to me. I did not put any key changes until m43 because there's a lot of accidentals and changing harmonies. Also I did add some interpretive notes closer to the end to fill out the sound and also to represent the percussion when there's only chords being played.
[musx] (https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/6tfy7qprjk5gltsghbf0d/PMDGTI-Withered-Savannah.musx?rlkey=f30r2w22mydwno89v72pozn42&dl=0) [mus] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/a3x2otl3zscuues/Withered%20Savannah.mus?dl=0) [pdf] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/ekdvx57coh48w8w/Withered%20Savannah%20-%20Score.pdf?dl=0)
I've never heard such intense arrangements, these are amazing so nice work!
QuoteI want the right hand to play the chords on beat 1 in m1, m7, m17, and m21 but I'm struggling to find a clean way to notate that
I think the issue here is how is the right hand even supposed to play those chords, if it's busy playing the melody part?
Also, a few things I noticed (visual changes more than anything):
- There are a few octave notes in both sheets that surpass 5 ledger lines (m39 and m47 in Holehills, all throughout the final part of Withered Savannah) it could probably be fine as is but wouldn't putting an 8vb on those improve readability, as 4 is usually seen as the limit? Also, in Holehills, would a double barline fit at the end of m18 to indicate a new part?
- Still in the topic of parts, I get that there's a time change in m41 of Withered Savannah, but considering there's already an automatic double barline two measures later for the key change, it looks a bit weird to have two double barlines so close together
Quote from: Francesca on August 11, 2023, 11:54:47 PMI've never heard such intense arrangements, these are amazing so nice work!
It's HOLEHILLLLLS you have to
Quote from: Francesca on August 11, 2023, 11:54:47 PMI think the issue here is how is the right hand even supposed to play those chords, if it's busy playing the melody part?
The right hand plays the chord on beat 1 then moves to play the melody. Since the pedal has to be held regardless of what hand plays it, it's just easier for the right hand to do it (for me at least).
Quote from: Francesca on August 11, 2023, 11:54:47 PM- There are a few octave notes in both sheets that surpass 5 ledger lines (m39 and m47 in Holehills, all throughout the final part of Withered Savannah) it could probably be fine as is but wouldn't putting an 8vb on those improve readability, as 4 is usually seen as the limit? Also, in Holehills, would a double barline fit at the end of m18 to indicate a new part?
For the ledger lines, it depends on the context, but because they are octaves, the player can read the top note and infer what the bottom ones are. As well as they can look at intervalic relations (like in m56-58 of Withered Savannah) so they don't have to count the lines.
Double barline added. As well as one for m36 since that's also a new section.
Quote from: Francesca on August 11, 2023, 11:54:47 PM- Still in the topic of parts, I get that there's a time change in m41 of Withered Savannah, but considering there's already an automatic double barline two measures later for the key change, it looks a bit weird to have two double barlines so close together
Yeah it does look weird. I decided to remove the one for the time signature change since the other one indicates a key change and a section change.
Updated.[/list]
QuoteThe right hand plays the chord on beat 1 then moves to play the melody
In that case, I think it's fine as is. Since these chords are very long and tied together, having them overlap with the melody would have a very visually unpleasant effect. But maybe for the text it would be better to just have something at the top of the staff that says "play chords in the bass clef with the right hand" or something similar?
QuoteFor the ledger lines, it depends on the context, but because they are octaves, the player can read the top note and infer what the bottom ones are
Yeah, I figured as much. Looks good as is.
Also, the .musx links of both files redirect to
Holehills, so could you fix that?
Quote from: Francesca on August 12, 2023, 12:29:22 PMIn that case, I think it's fine as is. Since these chords are very long and tied together, having them overlap with the melody would have a very visually unpleasant effect. But maybe for the text it would be better to just have something at the top of the staff that says "play chords in the bass clef with the right hand" or something similar?
The RH LH markings work well for that, I think..
Quote from: Francesca on August 12, 2023, 12:29:22 PMAlso, the .musx links of both files redirect to Holehills, so could you fix that?
Yeah because HOLEHILLLLLLS is just that good
oops
Holehills
• m1-2, and m55 4.0 sounds like an An restrike
• m2 beat 5 I hear a quarter note length En
• m3-5 and m11-16 LH 5.5 the C on top sounds like a Dn
• m9 LH 5.0 I hear Dn, m10 5.5 also Dn
• m18 RH 3.0 hearing G# not An, 4.0 hearing F below the C
• m22 RH beat 6.0-6.5 hearing a Bn and C 8th notes
• m24 RH 4.5 separate 8th note En
• m25 RH 1.0 sounds like a C grace note onto the Bn
• m26 RH 4.5 there's a G before the B on 5.0, could add to complete this rhythm
• m30 RH 4.5 the 8th notes start with the G, 6.5 should be a Dn. Also, there are notes underneath all the pitches: E-F-G-A-B
• m39,47 LH 1.0 think these C's should be up one octave
• m45 RH did you mean to include the E in this chord? Just stuck out all the clusters are 4 notes in other measures
• m46 RH 4.0 technically a C# grace note on this, or maybe you could roll this chord?
• m56 4.0 I hear A, 4.5 En (same octave as beat 5)
• Last page the first pedal mark on last system is just outside the page margin, maybe move it up 1 or 2 up arrow key clicks
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m2 beat 5 I hear a quarter note length En
I'm writing the bass pickup for that beat instead of the timpani.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m3-5 and m11-16 LH 5.5 the C on top sounds like a Dn
I just changed the m5 one to G because the melody is playing that D
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m18 RH 3.0 hearing G# not An, 4.0 hearing F below the C
So I'm not hearing the F on beat 4. While I do hear the G#, I don't like how it sounds on the piano because it ruins the resolution and sounds weaker overall.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m22 RH beat 6.0-6.5 hearing a Bn and C 8th notes
• m24 RH 4.5 separate 8th note En
How did I miss these 😭
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m30 RH 4.5 the 8th notes start with the G, 6.5 should be a Dn. Also, there are notes underneath all the pitches: E-F-G-A-B
I intentionally excluded the bottom pitches because it was more awkward to play going into the next measure (and because I excluded the bottom notes for that entire section)
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m39,47 LH 1.0 think these C's should be up one octave
Why? It sounds good and is satisfying to play.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 08:26:29 AM• m45 RH did you mean to include the E in this chord? Just stuck out all the clusters are 4 notes in other measures
It's because the E is played right before this and re-striking felt awkward.
Updated.
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on August 14, 2023, 10:13:55 AMI'm writing the bass pickup for that beat instead of the timpani.
Okay.
QuoteI just changed the m5 one to G because the melody is playing that D
Well you could do a restrike given it's just a held note in the melody but that would make m6 kind of redundant so good point.
QuoteSo I'm not hearing the F on beat 4. While I do hear the G#, I don't like how it sounds on the piano because it ruins the resolution and sounds weaker overall.
Listening again the resolution on beat 4.0 is not an E major chord. The LH should actually be, at the bottom (the timpani note) an Fn, and the note under the C on beat 4.0 RH is an A. So the lower RH layer goes A-G#-A from beats 2-4. To make this work better, change the LH beat 3.0 note to Dn, and beat 4.0 to an F at current octave and another below.
QuoteI intentionally excluded the bottom pitches because it was more awkward to play going into the next measure (and because I excluded the bottom notes for that entire section)
Okay yeah this makes sense, given further measures in this section that also don't have bottom notes.
QuoteWhy? It sounds good and is satisfying to play.
Was speaking more in terms of original pitch octaves, but when it's low like that there is a degree of interpretive flexibility
QuoteIt's because the E is played right before this and re-striking felt awkward.
Ah good point didn't consider this when initially looking.
• You could move the pedal in m17 beat 1 a little down. Doesn't have to align with m18 for neatness
• As far as pedals, just going to comment same about con pedale for m34-54 as I did in Bloop's Mario Kart sub (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=12736.msg434972#msg434972) for this project (could write senza pedale at m55)
• Couple minor dynamic nitpicks: cresc. in m31-32 could move a little higher so it's not touching the Eb in m32 (the cres. could also end a little more to the right), and the cresc. in m35-36 could line up better with noteheads (currently a little far to left at beginning and could be more to the right at the end)
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 12:20:32 PMListening again the resolution on beat 4.0 is not an E major chord. The LH should actually be, at the bottom (the timpani note) an Fn, and the note under the C on beat 4.0 RH is an A. So the lower RH layer goes A-G#-A from beats 2-4. To make this work better, change the LH beat 3.0 note to Dn, and beat 4.0 to an F at current octave and another below.
Ah okay, that works better lol. I made beat 4 not octaves because it was easier to play, but I can add that if you think it'd work better.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 14, 2023, 12:20:32 PM• As far as pedals, just going to comment same about con pedale for m34-54 as I did in Bloop's Mario Kart sub (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=12736.msg434972#msg434972) for this project (could write senza pedale at m55)
Actually forgot that these exist.
Updated.
Holehills looks good from my end, approving
EDIT: just one thing I noticed after fact, but I don't think Game Freak needs credit? I assume your copyright info is based off ~10 year old sheets on the site, think it should just be Spike Chunsoft, The Pokémon Company, Nintendo. Also, Keisuke Ito and Yasuhiro Kawagoe I believe are the only composer credits, so just update that info
Quote from: Kricketune54 on August 16, 2023, 07:19:49 PMEDIT: just one thing I noticed after fact, but I don't think Game Freak needs credit? I assume your copyright info is based off ~10 year old sheets on the site, think it should just be Spike Chunsoft, The Pokémon Company, Nintendo. Also, Keisuke Ito and Yasuhiro Kawagoe I believe are the only composer credits, so just update that info
o, oops. I also updated the Withered Savannah sheet
Ah man, not doing any proper checks right now but peeking in and I really like how you arranged the C section for both of these! The powerful chords and sweeping span of the left hand work nicely to bring out the climax in each. (I need to re-listen to these pieces more, it's been ages since I listened to the GtI soundtrack...)
Just a couple of spontaneous comments:
- Are some notes/ties awkwardly flipped in the RH of m. 6-10 of Holehills? It's showing up like that in my Finale and if it's the case for you too, might need to reset some flip directions if it's leftover from some erased layer work
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on August 10, 2023, 10:42:23 AMI want the right hand to play the chords on beat 1 in m1, m7, m17, and m21 but I'm struggling to find a clean way to notate that. Right now it's just in the bottom staff and I labelled it vaguely, but I also considered adding a 3rd clef or just putting it in the top staff but it looked messy to me.
I think what you have is fine. For m. 1 and 17 it's clear enough as you have it but for m. 5 and 21 it's not super clear that you want it to be played by the right hand. I don't think that's really an issue though since it should be perfectly fine for the left hand to play it too. Either way I assume you want this section to be pedalled since there's no way either hand can sustain the chord for multiple measures. Also, flip the LH notes in m. 9-10 and 25-26 back to normal if there's no upper layer
Quote from: Latios212 on August 21, 2023, 06:29:29 PMAh man, not doing any proper checks right now but peeking in and I really like how you arranged the C section for both of these! The powerful chords and sweeping span of the left hand work nicely to bring out the climax in each. (I need to re-listen to these pieces more, it's been ages since I listened to the GtI soundtrack...)
Thanks! I decided to arrange them after trying to play threelines' version of Withered Savannah. As cool and fun as that is, I thought it'd be nice to have an easier one (and more normal i guess lol) with the same intensity.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 21, 2023, 06:29:29 PM- Are some notes/ties awkwardly flipped in the RH of m. 6-10 of Holehills? It's showing up like that in my Finale and if it's the case for you too, might need to reset some flip directions if it's leftover from some erased layer work
I kept noticing that but it never crossed my mind that they were flipped 😭
Quote from: Latios212 on August 21, 2023, 06:29:29 PMI think what you have is fine. For m. 1 and 17 it's clear enough as you have it but for m. 5 and 21 it's not super clear that you want it to be played by the right hand. I don't think that's really an issue though since it should be perfectly fine for the left hand to play it too. Either way I assume you want this section to be pedalled since there's no way either hand can sustain the chord for multiple measures. Also, flip the LH notes in m. 9-10 and 25-26 back to normal if there's no upper layer
Yeah, the only reason I want those chords played in the RH is because the last measure of the LH creates an awkward jump to hit that chord. And then I realized it was much easier to play each of the chords with the RH after trying that. I also flipped the LH notes in m24 to be the same as m8
Updated.
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on August 22, 2023, 08:45:23 AMThanks! I decided to arrange them after trying to play threelines' version of Withered Savannah. As cool and fun as that is, I thought it'd be nice to have an easier one (and more normal i guess lol) with the same intensity.
Hahah, I definitely noticed the influence! xD
HolehillsQuote from: cashwarrior1 on August 22, 2023, 08:45:23 AMI kept noticing that but it never crossed my mind that they were flipped 😭
Hope it's not Finale, but the notes are still flipped downwards in the RH from m. 8 until the first note of m. 10
It's nice to have the LH layers separated in the A section to see what's part of what part but they alternate so nicely it'd probably be neater for the performer to simply combine them in one layer. You absolutely don't have to though, just a thought.
Some minor things:
- LH of m. 10 - might be best to keep the last LH lower layer 8th rest below the staff to be consistent with the others, even if it fits on staff. Also, since you have a (3+2)/4 rhythm going on the LH in this part, it'd probably be best to swap the half and quarter rests in the upper layer.
- I think the chords in the awesome buildup section are all chromatically ascending fully diminished seventh chords. Specifically, the second note from the bottom should be lowered a half step in each chord in m. 31-33 from what you have written.
- Gb instead of G in m. 31 first chord
- Gn instead of G# in m. 31 second chord (note this matches the RH on beat 4)
- Ab instead of A in m. 32 first chord
- Bbb instead of Bb in m. 32 second chord
- Bb instead of Bn in m. 33 first chord
- Cb instead of Cn in m. 33 second chord
- I'm not super sure I hear the last three notes in the upper layer in m. 44 as written... if anything I hear D instead of E but I'm really not sure about this one.
That's all I have, real nice work again :P
Quote from: Latios212 on August 28, 2023, 04:10:54 PMIt's nice to have the LH layers separated in the A section to see what's part of what part but they alternate so nicely it'd probably be neater for the performer to simply combine them in one layer. You absolutely don't have to though, just a thought.
I asked some other people and they said the separate layers were easier for them so I left it :p
Quote from: Latios212 on August 28, 2023, 04:10:54 PM- I'm not super sure I hear the last three notes in the upper layer in m. 44 as written... if anything I hear D instead of E but I'm really not sure about this one.
I'm notating the harp part there (which is originally an octave lower) but it gets kinda lost near the end of the measure. I listened again and realized I had the last 4 notes wrong, though the last note gets completely lost to me..
Updated.
Withered SavannahWhen I started my feedback, I began first with the LH/bottom staff, so hopefully this isn't too much to parse through.
RH• m2 RH 4.0 hearing An
• m11 RH lower layer technically the pitches move up a little here, you could have an A one octave up and a C below it.
• m18 RH 1.5 Bn is Bb. Beat 4.0 is similar to m2 RH in that it's an A, I think.
• Additionally I don't hear the added pitches for m18 4.0-4.5 and m19 1.0-1.5
• m33 lower RH layer beats 3 and 4 these should be A and F
• m35 RH top layer 4.5 is F#
• m39 RH top layer 4.5 is Bn
• m42 RH 4.0 G# is also above E on this beat
• m54 RH top layer beat 1 dotted half and tied note is a C# not Bn
• m56 top layer beat 3 grace note, hearing 3 grace notes, F-F#-G
• m57 RH top 4.5 this note isn't tied, restruck beat 1.0 in 58
• m59-62 RH extra notes on bottom of each chord: Bn, Bb, A, Ab
I would just not, when I specify a beat and the note is already a tied note, I'm also saying the note it's tied to is the pitch I'm hearing for the "starting pitch".
LH• Lower layer m5, m7, m21 and m23 LH 1.5 hearing a D (maybe make it same octave as the upper layer D?), and 3.5 hearing E, and beat 4 F
• m6 Lower layer LH 3.5 hearing E
• m8 LH 3.5 hearing E
• Lower layer m13 and m15 LH 3.5 hearing F
• Lower layer m14 LH 2.5-3.5 hearing this as an 8th tied to quarter, and F instead of G
• m16 LH 1.5 hearing as an E (lower than G on 2.0)
• Lower layer m22 LH 3.5 hearing E
• m24 and m29 LH 3.5 hearing E
• m30 LH 1.5 note holds till 3.5, G isn't till beat 4.
• m59-65 LH are these notes following the rhythms of the percussion specifically? If that is the case, I would give a relisten, I think each of the rhythms is off a little from the drum's actual rhythms.
• m66 LH 4.5 hearing En
QuoteI want the right hand to play the chords on beat 1 in m1, m7, m17, and m21 but I'm struggling to find a clean way to notate that. Right now it's just in the bottom staff and I labelled it vaguely,
Didn't look into this too much for now, but I think this might be best way currently. 3 staffs seems a bit clunky.
Additionally I think current way song is keyless till m43 makes sense
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PM• m11 RH lower layer technically the pitches move up a little here, you could have an A one octave up and a C below it.
I'm not gonna have the C restrike because it already plays in the melody and having the octave felt unecessary.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PM• Additionally I don't hear the added pitches for m18 4.0-4.5 and m19 1.0-1.5
So I relistened and didn't hear any different harmonies for b4-4.5, but I do hear the ones in m19 in the little bell instrument.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PM• m42 RH 4.0 G# is also above E on this beat
I didn't add that one to keep the string melody as the top note (also I think the contrast between that and the next part sounds cool).
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PM• m56 top layer beat 3 grace note, hearing 3 grace notes, F-F#-G
I'm assuming you meant 2 grace notes? Unless you're saying the G restrikes?
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PM• m57 RH top 4.5 this note isn't tied, restruck beat 1.0 in 58
So it does! :o
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PMLH
• Lower layer m5, m7, m21 and m23 LH 1.5 hearing a D (maybe make it same octave as the upper layer D?), and 3.5 hearing E, and beat 4 F
omg i was reading bass clef wrong and was like "why are the notes you're saying not matching" 💀 Also, I'm assuming you meant beat 2.5? I chose to have the D play down the octave to continue that motion.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 11, 2023, 08:29:15 PM• m59-65 LH are these notes following the rhythms of the percussion specifically? If that is the case, I would give a relisten, I think each of the rhythms is off a little from the drum's actual rhythms.
Yeah it was sort of a vague suggestion of the percussion. I didn't want to include any of the sixteenth notes because I think that'd get too busy, but I did try and match it a little closer.
Updated.
Holehills
Sorry, forgot to follow up on this one earlier! Your changes look good. Just a final tiny thing, there shouldn't be a comma in the composer info since there's an & sign, and it could be lowered a bit to be closer to the arranger info. I've made that tiny adjustment and converted files, let me know if anything doesn't look right. Accepted!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/1093726541533413376/image.png
Withered SavannahQuote from: cashwarrior1 on September 12, 2023, 02:27:05 PMomg i was reading bass clef wrong and was like "why are the notes you're saying not matching" 💀 Also, I'm assuming you meant beat 2.5? I chose to have the D play down the octave to continue that motion.
Yep 2.5.
QuoteYeah it was sort of a vague suggestion of the percussion. I didn't want to include any of the sixteenth notes because I think that'd get too busy, but I did try and match it a little closer.
yeah I figured it was that, just thought it could match up more with the actual rhythms. I'm good with the changes you made in that regard.
QuoteI'm assuming you meant 2 grace notes? Unless you're saying the G restrikes?
No I meant three grace notes, but to further clarify, I meant Gn. The half note is G#
• You could align the mp in m1 more to center over LH beat 1, but I suppose it's also fine to just line it up with the hand markings if that's desired.
• You could widen m36 system a little so it's 100% clear the staccatos are not on the top LH notes ever
• Just for clarification sake, I do hear an 8th note on 4.5 for most of the beat 4's for the m43-55 section (the measures like m43 or 44 with a quarter note on beat 4). Did you exclude those notes intentionally?
• m59-62 the cresc. and decresc. could go a little higher so they better line up with the dynamics, and also avoiding being so close at m62 LH 1.0
Getting nitpicky at the end there, haha, but I think that's all I've got. Nice job on this one
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 26, 2023, 08:30:39 AMNo I meant three grace notes, but to further clarify, I meant Gn. The half note is G#
Oop, so it is
Quote from: Kricketune54 on September 26, 2023, 08:30:39 AM• Just for clarification sake, I do hear an 8th note on 4.5 for most of the beat 4's for the m43-55 section (the measures like m43 or 44 with a quarter note on beat 4). Did you exclude those notes intentionally?
So I did exclude those intentionally, but I think I could add in some of them.
Updated.
Yep, looks/sounds good with those added notes, approving Withered Savannah
Withered Savannah
Some musical stuff:
- I think the A section (and the last 4 bars leading back into the loop) would be better written with one flat. The few B naturals in m. 1-4 and 17-20 sound borrowed from D Lydian, and the Bb/C/F chords fit nicely into F major, which it resolves to a couple of times.
- I'd recommend replacing or supplementing the tempo change marks with an (eighth = eighth) marking. The tempo isn't changing, just the meter.
- Thoughts about writing in a chord or something for the left hand of m. 58 instead of octave doubling the melody? It feels a bit harmonically empty there
Notes:
- In the left hand, the D's at the beginning of m. 1 and 3 and the end of m. 8 sound like they should be an octave down. Similar for 17/19/24
- The melody on beat 4 of m. 2 sounds like a quarter rather than two eighths (in contrast to m. 18 where I do hear two eighths)
- I'm hearing the RH phrase in m. 17-18 as inverted upwards once
- The triplet bass in m. 36 beat 4 is a descending F-C-F figure, if you want to write that in instead of restriking the bass. (Don't have to, I think the bass strikes are fine)
- For beats 3-4 in m. 33 I'm hearing G7, not so much the A you have written in the second layer. Thoughts about swapping them out for a lower D?
Small visual things:
- Remove the comma from the composer info
- Move the rest down a bit in m. 23 (here and m. 19 you could just combine layers if you want to avoid the dotted half rests)
- You could spread out the systems on page 2 a bit more, you have some extra space at the bottom (compare to page 2)
- Rest could go back onto the staff at normal height in m. 58
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- I think the A section (and the last 4 bars leading back into the loop) would be better written with one flat. The few B naturals in m. 1-4 and 17-20 sound borrowed from D Lydian, and the Bb/C/F chords fit nicely into F major, which it resolves to a couple of times.
So I just found out that if you change key and click keep pitches the same
chromatically, you don't have to go back through and fix everything 🙃
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- The melody on beat 4 of m. 2 sounds like a quarter rather than two eighths (in contrast to m. 18 where I do hear two eighths)
omg that's just the delay playing there 😭
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- I'm hearing the RH phrase in m. 17-18 as inverted upwards once
To me that entire section sounds like it's voiced the same, so if I were to invert it there, I feel like I'd have to invert it for the rest of that part. I think I'd rather have the melody on top, though.
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- You could spread out the systems on page 2 a bit more, you have some extra space at the bottom (compare to page 2)
I'm assuming you meant to spread out systems on page 3
Updated.
Sweet! Just a quick few follow-ups before I accept:
- The augmentation dot in m. 33 beat 3 is displaced since the second layer messed it up before
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- I'm hearing the RH phrase in m. 17-18 as inverted upwards once
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on October 28, 2023, 09:38:58 AMTo me that entire section sounds like it's voiced the same, so if I were to invert it there, I feel like I'd have to invert it for the rest of that part. I think I'd rather have the melody on top, though.
I personally am used to hearing it differently, but that's fair!
Quote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- Thoughts about writing in a chord or something for the left hand of m. 58 instead of octave doubling the melody? It feels a bit harmonically empty there
Keeping this as is?
Quote from: Latios212 on October 28, 2023, 01:05:54 PMQuote from: Latios212 on October 27, 2023, 11:51:28 AM- Thoughts about writing in a chord or something for the left hand of m. 58 instead of octave doubling the melody? It feels a bit harmonically empty there
Keeping this as is?
Oh, I changed that to arpeggiating the F# minor chord
Updated.
Ah, got it! Looks good then!
Small thing - spacing is off in the system around m. 29. I'll still move this to accepted and make sure that gest handled on file conversion.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/1093726541533413376/image.png
Taken care of, moving this to complete!