ANNOUNCEMENT: We are going to be producing a story around 10:00 CST most weekdays (when we have AP Biology)! Also, E. Gadd Industries will perform a dramatic reading of each at around 4:45 CST each day, if possible. I also may flesh out some of the stories more if i feel like it.
Two HIP TO $%^ BEES Uncles George Foremaning to the beat
By: BrainyLucario and E. Gadd Industries
Dudeman was thinking about Spanish Inquisition again. Spanish was a Quickscope noob with Jeff Kaplan armies and brainy feetsies.
Dudeman walked over to the window and reflected on his wild surroundings. He had always hated imaginary Australia with its nosy, nice Non-existence. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel constipated.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the thonk figure of Spanish Inquisition.
Dudeman gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a JOHN CENAAAA, frumpty, Crystal meth drinker with kush armies and insig feetsies. His friends saw him as an anxious, amused George Foreman lean mean fat-reducing grilling machine.. Once, he had even helped a raspy Omae wa mou shindeiru........NANI!! cross the road.
But not even a JOHN CENAAAA person who had once helped a raspy Omae wa mou shindeiru........NANI!! cross the road, was prepared for what Spanish had in store today.
The a 'Murricane weather teased like dabbing Doggos, making Dudeman Number 1. Dudeman grabbed a WAHHHHLUIGI and His dignity that had been strewn nearby, and massaged them with his fingers.
As Dudeman stepped outside and Spanish Inquisition came closer, he could see the pleasant smile on her face.
"Look Dudeman," growled Spanish, with a denk glare that reminded Dudeman of a Taco. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want Memes. You owe me 2769 Cokes."
Dudeman looked back, even more Number 1'd and still fingering the WAHHHHLUIGI and His dignity. "Spanish, HIISSSS," he replied.
They looked at each other with boneless feelings, like two iffy, innocent dragons skirrt skirrting at a very cancerous NSM Beach Party, which had Glitch funk electro hop piano jazz swing step music playing in the background and two hip to %^$& BEES uncles George Foremaning to the beat.
Suddenly, Spanish lunged forward and tried to punch Dudeman in the face. Quickly, Dudeman grabbed WAHHHHLUIGI and His dignity and brought them down on Spanish's skull.
Spanish's Jeff Kaplan armies trembled and her brainy feetsies wobbled. She looked decimated, her wallet raw like a huge meme cannon.
Then she let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Spanish Inquisition was dead.
Dudeman went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Crystal meth with Dude, who happened to be hiding in a dark corner for some odd reason.
THE END
E. Gadd and I put complete bullcrap into a short story generator and it ended with Dudeman becoming a murderer
The story I never knew I needed, wow, this was amazing
Quote from: BrainyLucario on September 21, 2017, 08:50:18 AMDudeman went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Crystal meth.
The things we accomplish in AP Biology XD
This is the most high quality literary work I have ever seen, the amount of depth is just incredible.
edit: also its hip
this is an affront on my character and I will not stand for it
BAN'D 4 LYFE
I'm not in it.
1/10
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.reactiongifs.com%2Fr%2Fshia.gif&hash=8b5b660b46103c9d25f662f1c3bbfecb139c7df6)
Bravo my friends, bravo.
Why do I suddenly want to do a dramatic reading of this...
Uh. Uh, uh uhhhh...
Quote from: Yug_Guy on September 21, 2017, 02:50:45 PMWhy do I suddenly want to do a dramatic reading of this...
Please do, and if you don't, I will XD
Here's another one.
5739357 - Year of Yug_Guy
A Dystopian Plot
by BrainyLucario and E. Gadd
Olimar played too much Splatoon 2, destroying the world as we know it.
The year is 5739357. Clevelandlantis is a Water place ruled by Yug_Guy, our Swiss and Limburger (Praise him). Once glorious, The statue of Static is now shocking and covered with liquid cheese.
Korean Cheese taster, Braixen 1264 is humanity's only hope. Braixen finds the courage to start a secret un-cheesy revolutionary organization called NinCheeseMusic.
The fight is jeopardized when Braixen is tricked by nefarious Cheese - eater, Mr. Dr. Prof. E. Gadd Industries, and injures her piano.
Armed with Midis and bad formatting, NinCheeseMusic tries their best to save mankind, but can they defeat Cheesy Yug_Guy (again, Praise him) and restore The statue of Static to its former glory?
These are quality. I tried to record a dramatic reading but I was laughing too hard.
No, they will never be able to defeat me! Muahahahah!
[cue anime outro]
The Weeaboo Latios212
A Screenplay by BrainyLucario and E. Gadd
INT. THE U.S.S. Olimar, now a pirate ship - AFTERNOON
High Proffesional Pirate . BRAINYLUCARIO . is arguing with Towel-Carrying Stowaway . BRAIXEN1264 .. BRAINYLUCARIO tries to hug BRAIXEN1264 but she shakes him off.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Please Braixen1264, don't leave me.
BRAIXEN1264
I'm sorry BrainyLucario, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I am such a person!
BRAIXEN1264 frowns.
BRAIXEN1264
I'm sorry, BrainyLucario. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
BRAIXEN1264 leaves.
BRAINYLUCARIO sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, Complicated Pirate Ship Janitor . THATHIDDENCHARACTER . barges in looking flustered.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Goodness, ThatHiddenCharacter! Is everything okay?
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
I'm afraid not.
BRAINYLUCARIO
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
It's ... a Latios212 ... I saw an evil Latios212 Force mermaids to listen to bad midis.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Defenseless Mermaids?
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Yes, defenseless Mermaids!
BRAINYLUCARIO
Bloomin' heck, ThatHiddenCharacter! We've got to do something.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
BRAINYLUCARIO
You can start by telling me where this happened.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
I was...
THATHIDDENCHARACTER fans himself and begins to wheeze.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Focus ThatHiddenCharacter, focus! Where did it happen?
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Slow's Basement! That's right - Slow's Basement!
BRAINYLUCARIO springs up and begins to run.
EXT. The Ocean - CONTINUOUS
BRAINYLUCARIO runs along the top of the Ocean water, followed by THATHIDDENCHARACTER, jumping Dingys along the way.
INT. SLOW'S BASEMENT - SHORTLY AFTER
DUDE, a Weeaboo Latios212 terrorizes two Mermaids.
BRAINYLUCARIO, closely followed by THATHIDDENCHARACTER, rushes towards DUDE, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
What is is? What's the matter?
BRAINYLUCARIO
That's not just any old Latios212, that's Dude !
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Who's Dude ?
BRAINYLUCARIO
Who's Dude ? Who's Dude ? Only the most Weeaboo Latios212 in the universe!
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Blinkin' knickers, BrainyLucario! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most Weeaboo Latios212 in the universe!
BRAINYLUCARIO
You can say that again.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Blinkin' knickers, BrainyLucario! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most Weeaboo Latios212 in the universe!
BRAINYLUCARIO
I'm going to need Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome, lots of Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome.
Dude turns and sees BrainyLucario and ThatHiddenCharacter. He grins an evil grin.
DUDE
BrainyLucario, we meet again.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
You've met?
BRAINYLUCARIO
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young BRAINYLUCARIO is sitting in a park listening to some Jazz-Trap music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees DUDE. He takes off his headphones.
DUDE
Would you like some Heroine?
BRAINYLUCARIO's eyes light up, but then he studies DUDE more closely, and looks uneasy.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I don't know, you look kind of like a Weeaboo.
DUDE
Me? No. I'm not a Weeaboo. I'm the least Weeaboo Latios212 in the world.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Wait, you're a Latios212?
BRAINYLUCARIO runs away, screaming.
INT. SLOW'S BASEMENT - PRESENT DAY
DUDE
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
(To BRAINYLUCARIO) You ran away?
BRAINYLUCARIO
(To THATHIDDENCHARACTER) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
BRAINYLUCARIO turns to DUDE.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
BRAINYLUCARIO runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome.
DUDE
I'm not scared of you.
BRAINYLUCARIO
You should be.
INT. SEABASS WORLD - LATER THAT DAY
BRAINYLUCARIO and THATHIDDENCHARACTER walk around searching for something.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I feel sure I left my Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome somewhere around here.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep a deadly Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome.
BRAINYLUCARIO
You know nothing ThatHiddenCharacter ..
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, DUDE appears, holding a Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome.
DUDE
Looking for something?
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Crikey, BrainyLucario, he's got your Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Tell me something I don't already know!
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I know that already!
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
I'm afraid of sausages.
DUDE
(appalled) Dude!
While DUDE is looking at THATHIDDENCHARACTER with disgust, BRAINYLUCARIO lunges forward and grabs his deadly Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome. He wields him, triumphantly.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Prepare to die, you Weeaboo Kool-aid!
DUDE
No please! All I did was force mermaids to listen to bad midis!
BRAIXEN1264 enters, unseen by any of the others.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I cannot tolerate that kind of behavior! Those Mermaids were defenseless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! BrainyLucario . defender of innocent Mermaids.
DUDE
Don't hurt me! Please!
BRAINYLUCARIO
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use this Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome on you right away!
DUDE
Because BrainyLucario, I am your father.
BRAINYLUCARIO looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
BRAINYLUCARIO
No you're not!
DUDE
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
DUDE tries to grab the Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome but BRAINYLUCARIO dodges out of the way.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Who's your daddy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, DUDE slumps to the ground.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Did he just faint?
BRAINYLUCARIO
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome.
BRAINYLUCARIO crouches over DUDE's body.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
Be careful, BrainyLucario. It could be a trick.
BRAINYLUCARIO
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Dude is dead!
THC
What?
BRAINYLUCARIO
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER claps his hands.
THATHIDDENCHARACTER
So your Doug Dimmadome owner of the dimmsdale dimmadomes did save the day, after all.
BRAIXEN1264 steps forward.
BRAIXEN1264
Is it true? Did you kill the Weeaboo Latios212?
BRAINYLUCARIO
Braixen how long have you been...?
BRAIXEN1264 puts her arm around BRAINYLUCARIO.
BRAIXEN1264
Long enough.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Dude .
BRAIXEN1264
Then the Mermaids are safe?
BRAINYLUCARIO
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable Mermaids enter, looking relived.
BRAIXEN1264
You are their hero.
The Mermaids bow to BRAINYLUCARIO.
BRAINYLUCARIO
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Dude will never Force them to listen to bad midis ever again, is enough for me.
BRAIXEN1264
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the Mermaids passes BRAINYLUCARIO some War-tattered Noodz
BRAIXEN1264
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
BRAINYLUCARIO
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Well, if you insist.
BRAINYLUCARIO takes the Noodz.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Thank you.
The Mermaids bow their heads once more, and leave.
BRAINYLUCARIO turns to BRAIXEN1264.
BRAINYLUCARIO
Does this mean you want me back?
BRAIXEN1264
Oh, BrainyLucario, of course I want you back!
BRAINYLUCARIO smiles for a few seconds, but then looks at THC
BRAINYLUCARIO
Alright Janitor, get outta here
THC
WHAT?
BRAINYLUCARIO
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who, usually, stays with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Braixen.
BRAIXEN1264 grins
THC
But...
BRAIXEN1264
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
THC
BrainyLucario?
BRAINYLUCARIO
I'm sorry THC, but I think you should skidaddle.
THC leaves.
BRAIX turns to BRAINYLUCARIO.
BRAIXEN1264
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
BRAINYLUCARIO
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.
THE END
I had no say in writing this; I was outside the room the whole class block because the block before, the teacher had vaporised peanuts (meaning I couldn't be in the room, else I risk having a reaction
EDIT: but there will be a dramatic reading tonight
Ooh I can do the dramatic reading
I love this but it kind of freaked me out because i don't have a basement
X-files theme plays
._. I just realised I never did the dramatic reading. THAT WILL COME TOMORROW!
No story for today, instead. I'll be working on the second story a bit more, turning it into an actual story hopefully.
ok so am I supposed to read them like I would normally read a story or was this fine
Ah! I noticed a typo while listening to the last one!! Fixed
I want to compliment myself on my delivery of "I'm afraid of sausages"
Yeah, Noc. You did a really good job on these. Kudos to you!
How bout something a little artsy tartsy?
Sebastian- the tides of Seabass
Free verse by BrainyLucario and E. Gadd industries
How happy is the Cracker jackfish!
Does the Cracker jackfish make you shiver?
Does it?
How happy is the Chicken!
Does the Chicken make you shiver?
Does it?
The Sebastian is like an South Carolina guy,
It tends to spawn inland.
Hear the Sebastian grumph.
Would it hurt you to spawn?
Waddle is, in its way, a real Nsm trooper.
Hear the Waddle slap.
Would it hurt you to spawn?
I saw the the Waluigi saltwater fish of my generation destroyed,
How I mourned the Wahfish.
Pause to sail, like the king wahfish does.
The saltwater fish that's really abscent!
Above all others is the Jamafish.
Slow, small Jamafish.
Jamafish, Jamafish, every where,
Yet not a drop to sail.
It does sail,
It does sink,
It does embark.
Reading will be at 4:30 CST on discord
The Mangled Pingases
A Crime Thriller Plot
by Brainy and E. Gadd
Mangled pingases have been turning up all over Tweebuffelsmeteenskootmorsdoodgeskietfontein and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a copy of Sonic 06, and still nobody has a clue who the clumsy killer is.
Bloop is a long and sympathetic Emoji Translator with a fondness for Maple Syrup and Hockey. They don't know it yet but they are the only one who can stop the noob killer.
When their Emotional support, Robbie Rotten, is kidnapped, Bloop finds them-self thrown into the center of the investigation. His only clue is a Russian Sandvitch.
They enlist the help of a dank Pokemon GOer called PDS.
Can PDS help Bloop overcome their SMG4 addiction and find the answers before the low-quality-ripping killer and his deadly copy of Sonic 06 strike again?
READING AT 3:45 CST
this is my favorite thread
In case anyone was wondering, we're on Fall Break
I'm confused in the best way possible.
Slap of a Spoopy Ghost
A Paranormal Romance
by Bingo Bongo (A.K.A Brainy and E. Gadd)
FireArrow suspected something was a little off when his dog's uncle's cousin's granddad, covered in sprinkles and gummy bears, tried to slap him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other Waluigies.
It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly Gem-like Spoopy Ghost, Nebbles, that his life finally began to make sense.
However, Nebbles proved to be a fan of chocolate milk and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with saying "Boo! I'm a spoopy ghost! You have been spooked tag your friends to totally spook them." FireArrow soon learnt that Nebbles had taken an oath never to posses a human being.
When FireArrow's dog's uncle's cousin's granddad makes a deal with the devil in a jazz-playing accident, FireArrow realizes his own life is at risk.
Despite Nebbles's antics, like not getting in the bag. FireArrow finds himself falling for the Spoopy Ghost. Only fate will decided whether she kills or protects him.
One night, a Mr. Skeltal Doot Doot appears before FireArrow and warns him of a darkness within Nebbles. The Mr. Skeltal Doot Doot gives FireArrow the Crystal Yug_Guy's Mustache - the only weapon that can defeat a Gem-like Spoopy Ghost.
Will FireArrow find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly Dead inside? (Hint: Meatball Meatball Spaghetti underneath! Ravioli Ravioli Great Barrier Reef! Bingo to the Bongo to the Wah Wah Wah!)
Dramatic Reading at 3:30
Brainy didn't feel like writing a story today, so I stepped in! Enjoy!
The Tale of My Pancakes' Pancakes' Pancakes
By Pancakes (feat. the Pancakes)
A Ballad
It began on a pancakey waffle pancakes:
I was the most pancake pancake around,
She was the most pancakey pancake.
She was my pancakes,
My pancakes' pancakes,
My pancakes.
We used to pancake so well together,
Back then.
We wanted to go pancaking together, around the world,
We wanted it all.
But one pancake, one pancaked pancake,
We decided to go pancaking too much.
Together we pancaked a butter.
It was pancakes, so pancakes.
From that moment our relationship changed.
She grew so pancakes.
And then it happened:
Oh no! Oh no!
She pancaked a bacon.
Alas, a bacon!
My pancakes pancaked a bacon.
It was pancake, so pancake.
The next day I thought MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR had broken,
I thought my syrup had burst into flames,
(But I was actually overreacting a little.)
But still, she is in my thoughts.
I think about how it all changed that on those fateful pancakes,
Those pancake waffle pancakes.
My syrup... ouch!
When I think of that pancakey pancake,
Those pancake pancakes and me.
Reading at 3:35 CST today!
That's why Dr Waluigi is a book
By MynemisJef (Ft. my dad)
In the style of Frank Sinatra
"Have you met Dr Waluigi?"
Someone said as we shook hands.
He was just Dr Waluigi to me.
Then I said, "Dr Waluigi,
You're a gentleman who understands,
I'm a man who must be shot."
"'You better exist, you better not dregs,
You better not expect the Spanish Inquisition, I'm telling you why,
GRAND DAD is comin' to town!
GRAND DAD is comin' to town!
GRAND DAD is comin', comin' to town."
I practiced every day,
To find some clever lines to say,
To make the meaning come through...
And then I went and spoilt it all, by saying something stupid like:
"All my jokes are cries for help."
I can see it in his eyes, that he despises existing,
Like the day before.
He loves Tacos,
He hates Luigi,
He loves saying WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
That's why Dr Waluigi,
That's why Dr Waluigi,
That's why Dr Waluigi is a book.
All my jokes are cries for help.
All my...friends are Bread
Reading at 4:10 CST
Punished for comparing my Jotaro to a super smart guy in a wheelchair
Dear Mr. _77,
I am sorry to report that little Zeta has been assigned a detention.
As you know, little Zeta is usually a very high-quality and cancerous bot. However, today I caught her Summoning Mr Skeltal DootDoot during class.
When I asked her to stop, she shouted, "Hey, paesanos! It's The Super Mario Brothers Super Show! DADADA DADA DA DA We're the Mario Brothers, and plumbing's our game, we're not like the others who get all the fame. If your sink is in trouble, you can call us on the double, we're faster than the others, you'll be hooked on the Brothers! Uh! You'll be hooked on the Brothers Gimme gimme, gimme gimme! You're in for a treat, so hang on to your seat. Get ready for adventures and remarkable feats. You'll meet Koopas, the Troopas, the Princess, and the others, hangin' with the plumbers, you'll be hooked on the Brothers! To the brink! Uh! Uh! Huh, huh, I said hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooked on the Brothers! Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it's time to go do the Mario! Take one step, and then again. Let's do the Mario, all together now! You got it! It's the Mario! Do the Mario! Swing your arms from side to side. Come on, it's time to go do the Mario! Take one step, and then again. Let's do the Mario, all together now! Come on now. Just like that!" and began Simon Saysing with her friend Deku.
Zeta aggravated the matter further by calling me a Frozen 2 CHONKEY and comparing my Jotaro to some smart guy in a wheelchair.
Little Zeta was also in violation of the school uniform policy. I do not allow the super durable, water-proof sealing master that is FLEX TAPE to be worn at St. Luigi's Mansion Secondary Preparatory Reformatory School for the Paranormally Challenged.
St. Luigi's Mansion Secondary Preparatory Reformatory School for the Paranormally Challenged prides itself on being a long and frozen establishment. Thus we simply cannot have children Summoning and Simon Saysing on the premises. Added to which, my Jotaro looks nothing like whatever the name of that smart guy in a wheelchair's name is, as Mama Luigi (That's Mrs. Mama Luigi to you) will testify.
Please ensure that little Zeta attends detention tomorrow after school, and leaves her super durable, water-proof clothing at home.
Yours sincerely
Fireflies (ft. Not Believing Your Eyes)
Reading at 3:15 CST
I always knew Zeta was a troublemaker...
Quote from: BrainyLucario on October 20, 2017, 08:33:02 AMLittle Zeta was also in violation of the school uniform policy. I do not allow the super durable, water-proof sealing master that is FLEX TAPE to be worn at St. Luigi's Mansion Secondary Preparatory Reformatory School for the Paranormally Challenged.
So that's what Brainy was referencing
Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on October 20, 2017, 03:34:31 PMSo that's what Brainy was referencing
silly boy everybody knows what flex tape is
Piano out of tune? FIX IT WITH FLEX TAPE! Failing grade in school? FLEX TAPE IT UP!! House destroyed by a horde of Emus? JUST SLAP ON SOME FLEX TAPE!
Nothing can withstand the power of Emus, not even Flex Tape!
A dating profile for WaluigiShall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thy pecs art more firm than the darling buds of May
I'd rather be in love than right any day.
Good dawning to thee, friend,
I'm a Taco enthusiast wah gentleman, who likes nothing more than Tennis with the right person.
None of my current partners understand me. I need to meet somebody special - somebody I really connect with.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my Numbah 1! wah personality, closly followed by my smashing legs wah. I hope you will find my legs wah to be as special as new born kittens, and my tennis elbow wah as awesome as the first moon landing
I work as a Taco Salesman, helping the hungry taco-deprived masses. This allows me to exercise my skills: I have a mean serve in tennis and am an expert in mustache grooming. My idol is Billy Mays. When I'm struggling with my job, I think of Billy Mays and feel inspired to continue. I once saw Billy Mays at a petrol station, so I feel we have a deep connection - almost spiritual, like the mist on an autumn day, or similar.
My life goals include:
Meet Douglas Adams' ghost
Write a sonnet that captures your beauty
Become the best Taco Salesman I can be
Help all the the hungry taco-deprived masses in the world
If you're the right person for me, you'll like pinball and appreciate my mustache and looove to eat tacos. You won't be afraid to jump off a building and will have a healthy respect for Me.
My ideal date would involve Making Tacos ( My true passion) in my very own stadium with an Italian person by my side. While we're there, I write poetry about your firm pecs under the light of the moon.
The right man's smile will light up my day like somebody igniting a sparkler on a particularly stormy November 5th. Your firm pecs will make me tremble like sitting on a park bench when a double decker bus rattles by.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
Until younder,
TheWahnandOnly
No reading tonight! :p
Reading will be at 4:10 today. On discord. Be there or be hexagon. wait...I did that wrong
Enough With Your Stup He Midna-ess Plz Jeef Jeef Jeef Jeeef Jeef Jeef Jeef Jeef Jeeeeeeeeef and Jeff What The Heck Am I Doing With My Life?
Dear Jeef,
I have always felt very......Jeef living near to you. You are the most nam r Jeef neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your she Jeef two mooch.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your jeef jeef jeef jeef jeeeeeeeeef is too Stup he midna-ess plz jeef jeef jeef jeeef and your what the heck am i doing with my life? way too jeef. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a pancook
I have to insist that you take action to stop your she Jeef two mooch from upsetting me. I demand that you Qool me jeef then bee muh jeef.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your jeefing to lattle increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a jeefspenseeve neighbourhood like Tom Jones.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call Ghostjeefers and post photos of your colooction of jeefy jeefs on FindmyJeef.
Furthermore, I have close ties with My pet cult named steve and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few jeefs if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
Mr. Blue Sky (ft. a cloud and Starlord)
Quote from: BrainyLucario on October 30, 2017, 08:35:44 AMThanks
This is probably the only part of all of this that made any sense
We had a bit of a descent into madness there for a second.
Or two.
WHY DOES THAT PROFILE PICTURE MAKE ME LAUGH SO MUCH
WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT AND WHY DO I KEEP GETTING EMAILS AND WHY AM I MENTIONING THAT HERE OF ALL PLACES???
EDIT: Oh hey, cool, 3000 posts! :D
The Frumpty Parental Overprotectivity
A Mystery
by E.Gadd, One Who is Lost to Time (and Brainy[not really])
The isolated, Geometric town of Jamaha's Bay holds a secret.
E. Gadd has the perfect life working as a Taco-Making in the city and Music Theory Lessons with his Reverent girlfriend, NinSheetMusic Firums.
However, when he finds a Frumpty Parental overprotectivity in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Gadd family.
A Christmas Comeback Crisis leaves E. Gadd with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to forbidden Jamaha's Bay to find some answers.
At first the people of Jamaha's Bay are Dedicated and Kewl. He is intrigued by the curiously Nostalgic 360 No-Scope Triple Backflip Wombo Combo Fire Pledge Hidden Move, Arranging sheets. However, after she introduces him to hard video games, E. slowly finds himself drawn into a web of puns, Lo-quality-rips and perhaps, even man slaughter.
Can E. resist the charms of Arranging sheeets and uncover the secret of the Frumpty Parental overprotectivity before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another Jamaha's Bay legend?
Dramatic readings will not be resuming. Since E. Gadd is the one who does them
A dating profile for Squidward Tentpoles. DANGIT-SPONGEBOB
Is your Not being Spongebob or Patrick Subtle enough for my amazing Nose?
A wise wizard once said, 'Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic.' With that in mind...
To only the best women out there,
I'm an Artistic kinda man, who likes nothing more than Bubble Blowing SPONGEBOB GET-OFF MY DATING PROFILE I-mean........Painting with the right woman, and socialising with my good mate, Myself, who admires my Obligatorily better than my-ANNOYING NEIGHBORS I mean...-musically inclined qualities.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my Lonely personality, closly followed by my smashing Nose. I can be a jerk when I don't know people well - with body parts like my Nose and How I'm not like my-ANNOYING NEIGHBORS I mean...-musically inclined, I can afford to be.
I work as a struggling-artist/musician/actor/poet/cas-hier/that last one isn't-important/overlook that, helping No one with a sense of dignity. This allows me to exercise my skills, which, if you must know,I'm a widely renowned-clarinet virtuoso, state-recognized interior design-consultant, licensed and board-certified antique macrame-conosuor, born and raised-collector and sculptor of-driftwood, and able to-recognize over 13 hundred brand names of single personed pedal operated vehicles and I make a killer Soufle. One day, I was just about to stop work when Myself appeared from nowhere and congratulated me on a job well done. "Squidward Tortalleinies, that was a job well done." That's the kind of thing people say to me on a daily basis. Of course, now, Myself and me are best friends, and the praise runs like water. A lesser man would get a big head.
My life goals include:
Shoot a follow-up to the Clarinet advert I star in
Become the best struggling-artist/musician/actor/poet/cas-hier/that last one isn't-important/overlook that I can be
If you're the right woman for me, you'll be Not spongebob and Not Patrick. You won't be afraid to Play cello alongside my-masterfulness and will have a healthy respect for Me.
My ideal date would involve Clarinetting in Anywhere where Spongebob-Isn't with a Not Patrick woman by my side. While we're there, I evaluate your Subtle Not being Spongebob or Patrick, checking that you're up to my understandably high standards.
Women only get one chance with me. For every woman who displeases me, there are another 111 waiting in the wings to replace you.
If you're worthy, get in touch!
Squidward Tentacles