Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Mario Kart DS
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Nintendo WFC Menu
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5007)
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Might want to double check those files....
ACCEPTED 100% accurate well done next please move along citizen
Try again. The right files are there this time.
Very good interpretation, but there are a couple of very minor things that could possibly be tweaked.
Measure 3 is actually a G chord, possibly a major 7th in the bass. I would definitely put it in the next measure seeing as it's the same chord.
In measure 9, it seems like the A in the bass is held out for much longer than the quarter note that you give it.
In measure 10, 12, it seems a little odd that you would chose to give the A in the treble it's own layer, when you could just attach it to the first layer. That would speak clearly to the performer, and get rid of unnecessary rests in the measure.
Measure 17, Another 2nd layer option that seems strange. Maybe change the top layer so that it's playing 2 half note A's in succession, then have the whole note A below it in a second layer?
The thing is, when you have pedal markings throughout the piece, it makes it kind of redundant to have second layer notes function as if you didn't have pedal markings. I see this problem from measure 21 to the end and especially in measure 29.
Measure 22, 30 - I would consider deattaching the D in the & of beat 1. It gives clarity that you're coming from an off beat to on the beat.
That's pretty much all I got so far.
Hope this helps.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/xmopc5vswj0dnf4/Mario%20Kart%20DS%20-%20Nintendo%20WFC%20Menu%20edit1.pdf?dl=0
Oh, one more thing: grace notes are inherently connected to the note it's attached to, so slurs connecting the two notes are redundant.
I disagree with the part about the grace notes. However, in this example they don't need to be connected all the way to the end of the tie; connect them to the next and flip them to go downwards instead of upwards.
Quote from: Brassman388 on August 15, 2018, 09:55:35 PMVery good interpretation, but there are a couple of very minor things that could possibly be tweaked.
Measure 3 is actually a G chord, possibly a major 7th in the bass. I would definitely put it in the next measure seeing as it's the same chord.
In measure 9, it seems like the A in the bass is held out for much longer than the quarter note that you give it.
In measure 10, 12, it seems a little odd that you would chose to give the A in the treble it's own layer, when you could just attach it to the first layer. That would speak clearly to the performer, and get rid of unnecessary rests in the measure.
Measure 17, Another 2nd layer option that seems strange. Maybe change the top layer so that it's playing 2 half note A's in succession, then have the whole note A below it in a second layer?
The thing is, when you have pedal markings throughout the piece, it makes it kind of redundant to have second layer notes function as if you didn't have pedal markings. I see this problem from measure 21 to the end and especially in measure 29.
Measure 22, 30 - I would consider deattaching the D in the & of beat 1. It gives clarity that you're coming from an off beat to on the beat.
That's pretty much all I got so far.
Hope this helps.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/xmopc5vswj0dnf4/Mario%20Kart%20DS%20-%20Nintendo%20WFC%20Menu%20edit1.pdf?dl=0
Oh, one more thing: grace notes are inherently connected to the note it's attached to, so slurs connecting the two notes are redundant.
Quote from: Olimar12345 on August 16, 2018, 04:25:19 AMI disagree with the part about the grace notes. However, in this example they don't need to be connected all the way to the end of the tie; connect them to the next and flip them to go downwards instead of upwards.
Thank you guys, this helped a lot. I updated with Brassman and Olimar's suggestions.
One question for Brass: is there any reason you got rid of the LH slur in m. 28? I kept it because the articulation of the RH on LH rhythms seems to have contrast in that measure, and to keep a slur out would probably confuse the performer by having nothing at all.
I guess it's because you have a tied note from the previous measure, staccato notes in the right hand, and thought, maybe there doesn't need to be a slur there. No real reason, I guess.
Olimar, I guess I've never seen it that way, but whatevs. What works, works.
Ok, I took another listen and made some adjustments at m. 2, 10, and 12. Can I get someone to verify whether or not they hear this?
https://www.dropbox.com/s/q0h3ghtzbdbrs40/Mario%20Kart%20DS%20-%20Nintendo%20WFC%20Menu.mus?dl=1 (https://www.dropbox.com/s/q0h3ghtzbdbrs40/Mario%20Kart%20DS%20-%20Nintendo%20WFC%20Menu.mus?dl=1)
EDIT: I also changed the m. 3 major 7th to a G. I don't hear an F#.
Looks fine, sounds fine.
I'd say this is ready to be accepted.
Good work!
Modified the files. Waiting for updater verification.
Up-up-updater bumb!
Went through and fixed up some transcription errors. Any questions, feel free to ask.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/esqkzwgok7jyyzr/Mario%20Kart%20DS%20-%20Nintendo%20WFC%20Menu.musx?dl=1
Oh, this is wonderful! Thank you ever so much, Deku!
Just a few questions:
1.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/264591162315112448/490538375841841154/unknown.png
Do I need to extend the slur out to the tied half note, or is it fine where it is now?
2. Note-wise, should m. 8 & 16 be identical? I notice that, in your edit, m. 16's LH is an octave dyad, as opposed to m. 8, which is not. Intentional?
3. Does the pickup note to m. 28 in the LH need a grace note, as in m. 20's pickup note?
I once again thank you for pointing out my transcription errors! It's much appreciated.
Quote from: LeviR.star on September 15, 2018, 08:13:38 AM1. Do I need to extend the slur out to the tied half note, or is it fine where it is now?
I'd extend it. There's meant to be a rule about that but I forgot what it is. I think it was that you're meant to extend the phrase marking on the last note of the phrase if the tie is within a bar but not if the tie goes over a bar. But don't quote me.
Quote from: LeviR.star on September 15, 2018, 08:13:38 AM2. Note-wise, should m. 8 & 16 be identical? I notice that, in your edit, m. 16's LH is an octave dyad, as opposed to m. 8, which is not. Intentional?
No they shouldn't be identical because they're different.
Quote from: LeviR.star on September 15, 2018, 08:13:38 AM3. Does the pickup note to m. 28 in the LH need a grace note, as in m. 20's pickup note?
Hmm, actually I'm inclined to say there's no grace note in the lower voice either time.
Ok, got it. Files updated again.
Good work. Just a few minor comments from me:
- "con pedale" text is awkwardly far off to the left.
- Last LH note in m. 19 misaligned.
- Top staff on page 2 too high up and close to the header.
edit: in the interest of time, I've fixed that for you so I'm good with this
nice
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot