Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Yoshi's Story
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Love is in the Air
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: hamishbrown (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5313)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Pretty good, some quick comments:
m.27 last LH note should be Bb, not C
m.31-32, 35-36 D#'s should be Eb's
m.67 LH sounds like it should be D G B D instead of G B C D (also curious as to why you decided to transpose it up and make the LH crossover instead of tranposing it down)
End chords could be a bit fuller
Hey, thanks for your help. Nice attention to detail and well spotted with that arpeggio in m.67.
In m.31-32 you were certainly correct, but I don't know what you mean in m. 35-36. Those are F#'s and they are part of the D major harmony.
I transposed those figures in the end to contrast with the low melody in m.55-58. The pianist could switch the hand playing the consistent guitar figure during m.59-62 where one of the hands is free, so that they could play the guitar figure with the LH and the rising arpeggios with the RH in m.63-68. I'll make this clearer, thanks for pointing it out.
I wrote the end like that because I only hear only note played by the cello and guitar in the last measure. However, the harmony from the penultimate bar is sustained over so I will update it. Once again, thank you for the suggestion.
Oh, sorry, 35-36 was my bad. For some reason, my PDF viewer was only viewing one page at a time and I scrolled to the next page while still counting measures, so I accidentally (and incorrectly) double counted 31-32.
For the end, I'm thinking you could use so-called "Ravel ties" to make it easier to read,
(https://i.stack.imgur.com/nTk8s.png)
(image stolen from here (https://music.stackexchange.com/questions/16403/what-does-the-tie-across-other-different-notes-mean) just for illustration purposes)
It looks cleaner, but the downside is that it's harder to do in notation programs and it might not play back correctly in the program.
(also some people debate its validity but it gets the point across so why not)
I didn't know they were nicknamed "Ravel ties", interesting. Anyway, I have tried to implement them but notepad 2012 is limiting. Thanks for the idea.
If you can't do them in Notepad, you can ask one of us updaters to do it for you. Again, it's just a suggestion
This is a really solid arrangement, nice job! Since you have Notepad, would you mind if I cleaned it up for you visually a little bit while checking it?
Thanks a lot, and please do. Do I have to provide a dropbox link or can you just download the file from my submission?
Here's the link just in case: https://www.dropbox.com/s/3d3gla47m17yctd/Yoshi%27s%20Story%20Love%20is%20in%20the%20air%20piano.mus?dl=0
Sorry for the wait! Haha no need for the Dropbox link, the file's safely stored away in the original submission post :P
I've made the following edits for you:
- General layout poking and prodding
- m. 35-36 arpeggios were a bit off, some pitches were supposed to be C (D7 chord)
- Moving eighth note rests back to the normal height where appropriate (like m. 29)
- Edited the last measure to avoid unnecessary hand-crossing (it also leads into the next section better by putting the LH and RH closer to their normal registers for at the beginning of the loop). The ties Insig mentioned would be the best way to write a figure like that, but I don't think that's the right figure to use here. See if you like what I wrote in for the end - it fills in the last chord a bit other than just playing two G's.
Further changes I would recommend (and can make for you if you'd like) -
- Courtesy natural on the Bn in m. 40 (since it directly follows a similar pattern containing a Bb)
- Editing the note durations in the melody to be more accurate to the original (for example, the last G in m. 10 and the E in m. 11 are cut short and aren't quarter notes in the original)
- Adding articulations to the melody (similar to the above)
Hi,
Thank you very much for the edits. I also like your suggestions so I have tried to implement them to the best of my ability.
Awesome, looks good to me! Approved
same.
accepted
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot