Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Bravely Default
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Beneath The Hollow Moon
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5670)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Submission #4!
I'm still a little unsure about the 8 measures leading up to the repeat (especially the left hand part), but I'm otherwise pretty happy with this so here goes...
DID SOMEONE SAY BRAVELY DEFAULT
Alright, here we go:
m1-6 - both hands - Rather than having the LH just hold a whole note, have it pick up a few of the notes the RH would play and add pedal. For example,
(https://i.imgur.com/OAt0bqV.jpg)
If you want the fancy pedal markings, select the smart shape tool and then ctrl+click on the custom shape to bring up a dialogue box with the various options. Occasionally, the first or last one doesn't play back, so just add a normal one and hide it (select, then ctrl+shift+alt+h No clue why it's so many keys).
RH:I hear a mordent at m26 beat 3. Also on b1 of m30
LHan 8th rest is hiding inside a quarter note in m16
m20 has fallen for REVO's favorite trick: sounding nearly identical so you think you can copy+paste but it's slightly different. b2 is a B instead o f a C# and b4 is an F# instead of an A#. Same thing in m37.
m21 - b4.5 - That's actually a 3rd if you listen closely. There should be a B below that D#. Same in m38.
Also in m38, there's another discrepancy. It should look like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/rnWmImW.jpg)
And I've rewritten the bassline for hte parts you weren't sure about. Here they are, in exhaustive form:
Spoiler
m23-24
(https://i.imgur.com/wcAGOdj.jpg)
m25-29
(https://i.imgur.com/9tk05Ti.jpg)
Oh, and m36 has a slightly different 2nd half when compared to other instances:
(https://i.imgur.com/iEDsy4L.jpg)
A few small things - Articulations are out of whack, but I assume that's the newest version of finale wreaking havoc with 2014.
The title on the 2nd page looks pretty small
A few of the 2nd layer rests are lower than they need to be (m21-22, for example)
I said do the complicated pedal thing earlier, but, honestly, the rest of the piece needs it. You've got some extra long 10ths that even I can't reach, which makes it impossible to hold the half note like you have it written. Pedal would fix that and lend a smoother tone to the song. If you decide to include it, you can do one of 3 things: notate all the pedal markings fancily with smartshape, just write a con pedale at the beginning, or do that and then add hidden pedal markings for playback.
Fix this and it might have my approval.
Oh, and probably don't beam over rests (m38 LH)
One final thing - Your tempo mark doesn't last very long for some reason. I deleted it and used the imported from musicXML one and it worked fine then.
Quote from: Maelstrom on May 27, 2019, 04:10:45 PMDID SOMEONE SAY BRAVELY DEFAULT
Yay another Bravely Default fan!!!!! I'm actually playing the game for the first time (on and off for over a year now and about 80 hours in) but it's one of my favourites!
Thank you for the in-depth feedback, it is much appreciated!! (Especially those 8 bars—I was having trouble hearing the guitar once the melodic instruments got louder.) I'll get working on this tomorrow and let you know when the files are updated.
Alright changes are done and files are updated! (Also yes I am using the newest version of Finale, sorry about the articulations!)
A couple of questions that came up while I was working on this:
-I forgot that I meant to add a rit. in the last measure, where is the right place for that in piano music? (Between the staves? Above/below the top/bottom staff?)
-Should the mordents in layer 2 go below the notes (like other articulations usually do in a second voice) or do they always go above the notes regardless? Only asking because they seem to crowd the top line a bit, but I don't know what the convention for this is. (And also Finale put it below the note in the last measure for some reason, I'm not sure why but I'm guessing that should be consistent throughout either way.)
1-Above the staves, always.
2-I honestly don't know. Whichever updater checks this next can chime in
Added the rit, I've left the mordents as is for now but if anyone has some knowledge to share on that subject go ahead!
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on May 28, 2019, 11:51:17 AM-Should the mordents in layer 2 go below the notes (like other articulations usually do in a second voice) or do they always go above the notes regardless? Only asking because they seem to crowd the top line a bit, but I don't know what the convention for this is. (And also Finale put it below the note in the last measure for some reason, I'm not sure why but I'm guessing that should be consistent throughout either way.)
Yes, I believe they should go above the notes!
While I'm looking at this, I've gotta say I'm not a big fan of all the tenth intervals you have in the left hand on beats 1 and 3 (etc.) in many places. As written it's highly impractical to play especially for those without large hands. Give it some consideration; here are some potential things you could do:
- Omit the top note completely in places (or indicate to the performer that they can). This might not seem very nice because you're losing notes in the upper layer, but think about how much easier it would be to play without losing a lot in terms of sound quality - the left hand still plays an arpeggio of the chord you want (and in fact the resulting ascending pattern is very idiomatic for piano).
- Suggest to the performer to roll the notes in places
- Suggest to the performer to have the right hand take the top notes in places
Very nice song and very nice sheet though, looking great! Will come for a final pass later.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 04, 2019, 04:27:26 PMYes, I believe they should go above the notes!
So I guess in that case the mordents should stay as is?
Quote from: Latios212 on June 04, 2019, 04:27:26 PMWhile I'm looking at this, I've gotta say I'm not a big fan of all the tenth intervals you have in the left hand on beats 1 and 3 (etc.) in many places. As written it's highly impractical to play especially for those without large hands. Give it some consideration; here are some potential things you could do:
- Omit the top note completely in places (or indicate to the performer that they can). This might not seem very nice because you're losing notes in the upper layer, but think about how much easier it would be to play without losing a lot in terms of sound quality - the left hand still plays an arpeggio of the chord you want (and in fact the resulting ascending pattern is very idiomatic for piano).
- Suggest to the performer to roll the notes in places
- Suggest to the performer to have the right hand take the top notes in places
Very nice song and very nice sheet though, looking great! Will come for a final pass later.
That's a fair point, I have very small hands myself and I expect to have to modify arrangements when I play them so I'm still learning what is reasonable to expect in terms of reach. I would like to leave the notes in for accuracy's sake (or for the fortunate few with large hands) while indicating that they're optional but I'm not sure what the best way to do that is... Smaller cue notes? Parentheses around the notes in question?
Thanks for checking it out!
Aw man, I typed the exact opposite of what I meant :( they should go below the notes to avoid collisions
I'll get back to the other point a bit later!
Quote from: Latios212 on June 05, 2019, 04:27:42 AMAw man, I typed the exact opposite of what I meant :( they should go below the notes to avoid collisions
No worries, fixed! :)
After doing some research and thinking about the 10ths, I think I've come up with a way of notating that the top notes should be optional. I hope it's clear and not too unconventional, let me know what you think!
Spoiler
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/smld5swfok3m0en/BTHM.PNG?raw=1)
Also I thought it might be better to combine the two left hand layers together in most places since the half notes are kind of redundant with the pedal, which I've also done in this excerpt. Am I right in thinking this is a little more idiomatic to the way piano music is usually written?
Thanks for putting up with all my questions, I hope it's not too much of a bother!
I think something like that would look just fine, in my opinion at least ^^ I tried this out yesterday and really didn't think the tenths were reasonable, so as long as it's easy for the performer to ignore them it's fine by me.
One thing I would suggest though is to keep the layer writing consistent where possible - so in the picture the first measure you posted has layers combined and beats 1-2 of the second measure should do the same thing (i.e. not have the half rest at the bottom because that implies there's a layer under it, as there isn't).
Sorry for the wait but files have been updated! I've fixed up the left hand and it should be a lot easier to read and play now with the 10ths being clearly optional. I also updated some formatting and redid the pedal markings (do they make sense the way I have them?).
Since it's such a drastic change I'm linking the old files here (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/srsru0lxv4d9ocq/AAAGwRC4E5dlJJBe0KB4laOva?dl=0) in case anyone wants to compare the two. All pitches should be exactly the same, but some durations have been edited in order to consolidate it into one layer (and I did move a couple of pitches into the right hand in one place).
I think this is great! Running through a thorough check now as promised.
- Mordents still should go below the lower layer as we discussed.
- Cn in measure 6 should be spelled as B#.
- In measure 18, the RH B on beat 1.5 should be part of the upper voice instead of the lower voice.
- m. 19 beat 3 LH, C# should be small. Similarly in m. 21 beat 3.
- m. 24 beat 3.5 could use a mordent (unless you left it out intentionally for playability which is fine?)
- Eighth rest and grace note need to be separated in m. 26
- m. 24 beat 1 LH should be a third higher (E-G#)
- I think the LH plays a C# on beat 4.5 of m. 23 and 25
- Last beat of m. 26 could also use a D# (if you want it!).
- m. 28 beat 3 should have E on the bottom instead of C#.
- The cramped sharps in m. 14/31 indicate that some spacing is off - using the note entry tool click on a measure to automatically respace it.
- First note in m. 34 could use a mordent.
- The layers are a bit mixed up in m. 32. The lower layer should be the same as everywhere else (like 7) and the half note C# on beat 1 should be stemmed upwards. Measure 34 similarly mixes the layers.
- Make sure your cresc./dim. markings end before the barlines, not on them.
- Not necessary at all, but the latter half of m. 35 is missing the upper cue notes (just making sure since you seem to have them everywhere else)
- I don't hear the B in the left hand at the end of the second to last measure.
- I'm hearing a high G# instead of the D# you wrote in for the final rolled chord.
Looks like a lot but they're all small quick fixes :)
Hey thanks so much for the thorough check, everything should be fixed up now! I did have a couple of questions though.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 15, 2019, 05:14:33 PM- m. 24 beat 3.5 could use a mordent (unless you left it out intentionally for playability which is fine?)
The RH doesn't play on beat 3.5 in m. 24, did you perhaps mean m. 23?
Quote from: Latios212 on June 15, 2019, 05:14:33 PM- The layers are a bit mixed up in m. 32. The lower layer should be the same as everywhere else (like 7) and the half note C# on beat 1 should be stemmed upwards. Measure 34 similarly mixes the layers.
I did fix this but I think in this particular case it makes it more confusing to read... I know the two voices are distinct on the recording and if it were a transcription I would definitely write it like that but as a piano arrangement I'm leaning more towards readability? Let me know what you think about this.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 15, 2019, 05:14:33 PM- The cramped sharps in m. 14/31 indicate that some spacing is off - using the note entry tool click on a measure to automatically respace it.
Not a question, just wanted to say thanks because I didn't know how to fix that before! Makes my life a lot easier. :)
Awesome, no problem! Just following up on the last couple of clean-up things before I sign off on this one.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 15, 2019, 05:14:33 PM- m. 24 beat 1 LH should be a third higher (E-G#)
Here the G# should stay in the left hand part as a small note to stay consistent with how you're writing it everywhere else. (It's also quite a stretch for the right hand as written)
Quote from: Latios212 on June 15, 2019, 05:14:33 PM- m. 28 beat 3 should have E on the bottom instead of C#.
- I'm hearing a high G# instead of the D# you wrote in for the final rolled chord.
I think these were missed.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 15, 2019, 05:14:33 PM- First note in m. 34 could use a mordent.
I think only the top note needs it.
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on June 21, 2019, 11:06:35 AMThe RH doesn't play on beat 3.5 in m. 24, did you perhaps mean m. 23?
Oops! Yeah I did mean 23.
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on June 21, 2019, 11:06:35 AMI did fix this but I think in this particular case it makes it more confusing to read... I know the two voices are distinct on the recording and if it were a transcription I would definitely write it like that but as a piano arrangement I'm leaning more towards readability? Let me know what you think about this.
I agree it looks kind of funny, but I think it's still important to denote to the performer the contour of these two lines especially since one of them is reused from before. It helps the performer know where the countermelody is new - if you look at what it used to look like, it looked like the top layer ascends E G# C# and the lower layer consists of a half note and then the four eighths. Hope that makes sense?
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on June 21, 2019, 11:06:35 AMNot a question, just wanted to say thanks because I didn't know how to fix that before! Makes my life a lot easier. :)
Happy to help!
Also if you're already without Finale access I can finish this up for you if you want.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 29, 2019, 05:09:48 PMAlso if you're already without Finale access I can finish this up for you if you want.
Unfortunately I did leave already, if you get the chance to finish it up I would appreciate it greatly! The suggested edits all sound fine to me, thanks for the help! :)
No problem, I gotcha! :) Lemme know if I missed anything
Approved
Thanks so much, I took a look at the PDF and it looks great to me!
Only thing I thought I'd mention is in the last chord, I did change the high D# in the right hand to a G# but I'm realizing now that you probably meant the one in the left hand so I might have changed it unnecessarily (unless both needed to be changed in which case it should be fine?). :P
Ah yes I did mean the left hand :P I reset the high right hand note to a D#. Thanks for catching that!
I tweaked a few things (ped marking placement, a few similes, and the system spacing on page one) and now it's good to go!
Accepting.
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
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