Submission Information:
Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Final Fantasy XIII
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Saber's Edge
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Renaud Bergeron (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3400)
I'm not sure about the left-hand run from measures 78–81.
Really cool arrangement! Also, I want to remind you that you should resubmit your Man With the Machine Gun sheet. It was deleted awhile ago while you were away due to inactivity.
Anyways, here's some feedback:
- There's a few spots where ties go through notes in the other staff/other layers, like mm26-27 and mm48-49. You should adjust the placement of the ties so they're not in the way.
- The parentheses on the (6/8) go slightly out of the margin; honestly though, I think it's fine. As far as I know, there isn't a way to move courtesy time signatures, and moving the right parenthesis any more left would cause problems too. At any rate, I think it's worthwhile to bring this up.
- Regarding that run in mm78-81; not all of the notes are entirely accurate to the original (though it's hard for me to hear as well), but what you have I think conveys the same effect on piano. The scale used is correct too, so it works.
- Personally, in a sheet that's more than 2-3 pages, I wouldn't put a final repeat back to the beginning. When you see a repeat sign, the reader has to search for the earlier repeat bar, which could be anywhere in the piece. In this case, I think a simple D.C. would be more clear, with little potential for error on a first read.
Quote from: Static on January 18, 2020, 06:45:16 PM- There's a few spots where ties go through notes in the other staff/other layers, like mm26-27 and mm48-49. You should adjust the placement of the ties so they're not in the way.
I did my best to get rid of note stems crossing other systems' ties, but I'm not quite sure what to do about overlaps between layers. I tried to find a way to break ties going through notes the same way I can for key or time signatures, but it seems that's impossible. If I try to reajust the actual length or curve of the ties, it just ends up looking really weird.
Quote from: Static on January 18, 2020, 06:45:16 PM- The parentheses on the (6/8) go slightly out of the margin; honestly though, I think it's fine. As far as I know, there isn't a way to move courtesy time signatures, and moving the right parenthesis any more left would cause problems too. At any rate, I think it's worthwhile to bring this up.
I tried to make minute ajustments to it, but I also think it's kind of unavoidable. I can't make that measure wider to make more more.
Quote from: Static on January 18, 2020, 06:45:16 PM- Regarding that run in mm78-81; not all of the notes are entirely accurate to the original (though it's hard for me to hear as well), but what you have I think conveys the same effect on piano. The scale used is correct too, so it works.
Even still, I'm not fully satisfied. If anyone has an idea for how to make it match the harp run more closely, I'm all ears.
Quote from: Static on January 18, 2020, 06:45:16 PM- Personally, in a sheet that's more than 2-3 pages, I wouldn't put a final repeat back to the beginning. When you see a repeat sign, the reader has to search for the earlier repeat bar, which could be anywhere in the piece. In this case, I think a simple D.C. would be more clear, with little potential for error on a first read.
Done.
Thanks for the feedback.
Quote from: Static on January 18, 2020, 06:45:16 PM- Personally, in a sheet that's more than 2-3 pages, I wouldn't put a final repeat back to the beginning. When you see a repeat sign, the reader has to search for the earlier repeat bar, which could be anywhere in the piece. In this case, I think a simple D.C. would be more clear, with little potential for error on a first read.
Is it really that important that the performer gets it right on the first read? It'd be plenty likely that they'd remember where a forward repeat sign was; if they don't remember that kind of thing right away, I say no biggie. If D3ath wants to use a single backward repeat, I see no harm in letting him. It's what I'd do.
If you want another point of view, I definitely agree with Static here. The D.C. is much clearer and I don't see the repeat sign having any tangible benefit over it.
Quote from: Libera on January 22, 2020, 11:09:04 AMIf you want another point of view, I definitely agree with Static here. The D.C. is much clearer and I don't see the repeat sign having any tangible benefit over it.
All I'm saying is that there is no benefit over choosing either one. They mean the same thing and both of them should be acceptable, so he should be free to use whatever he feels is clear enough.
Quote from: LeviR.star on January 22, 2020, 10:13:39 AMIs it really that important that the performer gets it right on the first read?
Yes.[/list]
Quote from: D3ath3657 on January 22, 2020, 10:04:53 AMI did my best to get rid of note stems crossing other systems' ties, but I'm not quite sure what to do about overlaps between layers. I tried to find a way to break ties going through notes the same way I can for key or time signatures, but it seems that's impossible. If I try to reajust the actual length or curve of the ties, it just ends up looking really weird.
Fair enough. What you have looks pretty good right now, so I'm fine with it.
Quote from: D3ath3657 on January 22, 2020, 10:04:53 AMI tried to make minute ajustments to it, but I also think it's kind of unavoidable. I can't make that measure wider to make more more.
A limitation of Finale, I think. What you have is probably the best it can get.
Quote from: D3ath3657 on January 22, 2020, 10:04:53 AMEven still, I'm not fully satisfied. If anyone has an idea for how to make it match the harp run more closely, I'm all ears.
I looked at it more closely, and honestly I kinda prefer how you have it right now, at least a the start (since it starts on the bass note). Also, the shape of the run closely matches what the harp plays in the original also. In the original, in m79, it sounds like the highest note is an Ab though rather than Bb. In m80, the lowest note sounds like a C to me. You might want to try adjusting the start and end of m80-81. It's kind of hard to hear through all the thick instrumentation though. Anyway, if you want to mess around with it, that's where I'd start.
I
approve this sheet now.
Looks pretty solid! A few things from me.
- You could bring the LH/RH staves together in places to close the wide gap and leave more room in between systems. For instance there's a lot of space between LH/RH in the third system, but the notes between the third and fourth systems are quite close together. Doing this would also leave more room for the footer on page 1.
- Is there a reason you put the ascending voice in m. 18+ as repeated notes with the chords instead of as a sustained separate layer? Just curious.
- I think including some more harmony under the main RH melody in m. 26-33 would be nice to give it more oomph. Up to you, though.
- The lower layer D in m. 31 looks kind of far to the right.
- In some places it looks like the top layer quarter rests are a bit low. I think it would be nice to raise them a bit to keep them at the same horizontal level as the rest of the notes, as well as distance them from layer 1 a bit. Measures 42-48 (RH), 64 (LH), 94+ (RH)
Also, are you planning to resubmit The Man with the Machine Gun (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10759.0)? That one was almost ready to go :)
You still around to update the sheet?
Archiving for inactivity, feel free to resubmit once you have a chance to look at the above feedback.