Submission Information:
Series: Xeno
Game: Xenogears
Console: PlayStation
Title: October Mermaid
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Really really great arrangement here, you did an awesome job capturing this song.
My one complaint is that the melody gets obscured in m26; maybe just keep the lower G there, or move the E to another layer so the performer knows to give it priority. Also, the tempo at m28 is a bit faster, it should be around 65bpm.
Could resist peeking at this one, I love Yasunori Mitsuda's stuff :P This is a really cool piece and a well done sheet as well.
A few things I noticed while listening/scrolling through:
- Some of the eighth rests (m. 9, 11, 20, 24) are in between staff lines as opposed to on them (or the other way around, I forget)
- m. 15 is missing the bass pickup to m. 16. (A double barline would also go nicely here if you want)
- m. 26 and 36 LH are missing fermatas.
- I'm usually not the one suggesting this, but I think a D.C. at the end of this piece would be more suitable than a repeat bar - due to the different sections of the piece and the last measure not having a strictly time ending.
Also why is this video titled "June Mermaid"?
There are multiple different translations for track titles in this game (you can see some here (https://vgmdb.net/album/48)), but the original Japanese name is "神無月の人魚", which directly translates to "October Mermaid" (or "Mermaid of October"). I have no idea how the June name got so popular.
Quote from: Static on August 09, 2020, 04:47:32 PMMy one complaint is that the melody gets obscured in m26; maybe just keep the lower G there, or move the E to another layer so the performer knows to give it priority. Also, the tempo at m28 is a bit faster, it should be around 65bpm.
I realised I forgot to write in the upper layer in bar 25 so I added that in, but since the top G just hangs over into 26 it's not worth restriking so I just removed the top G in 26 to make the resolution clearer, as you suggested. I added a poco agitato rather than a metronome marking at 28 since it's a really small change bpm wise.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 09, 2020, 05:03:03 PMCould resist peeking at this one, I love Yasunori Mitsuda's stuff :P This is a really cool piece and a well done sheet as well.
Could resist but didn't, eh?
Quote from: Latios212 on August 09, 2020, 05:03:03 PM- m. 15 is missing the bass pickup to m. 16. (A double barline would also go nicely here if you want)
- m. 26 and 36 LH are missing fermatas.
- I'm usually not the one suggesting this, but I think a D.C. at the end of this piece would be more suitable than a repeat bar - due to the different sections of the piece and the last measure not having a strictly time ending.
Fixed these. I don't really mind about the repeat marking either way so I changed that too.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 09, 2020, 05:03:03 PM- Some of the eighth rests (m. 9, 11, 20, 24) are in between staff lines as opposed to on them (or the other way around, I forget)
I tried to be pretty consistent with the rests when I was writing this up. I lowered the ones you mentioned because I felt they looked too close to the first layer's notes (G or lower and I lowered the rest.) Or is the issue that you'd prefer me to lower those once more so that they're not on a staff line? I can do that if that's what you wanted, but I don't really want to place them where the other ones are.
Thanks for having a look/checking guys!
Quote from: Latios212 on August 09, 2020, 05:03:03 PMCould resist peeking at this one, I love Yasunori Mitsuda's stuff :P This is a really cool piece and a well done sheet as well.
Quote from: Libera on August 10, 2020, 01:40:12 AMCould resist but didn't, eh?
oops lol
Quote from: Latios212 on August 09, 2020, 05:03:03 PM- Some of the eighth rests (m. 9, 11, 20, 24) are in between staff lines as opposed to on them (or the other way around, I forget)
Quote from: Libera on August 10, 2020, 01:40:12 AMI tried to be pretty consistent with the rests when I was writing this up. I lowered the ones you mentioned because I felt they looked too close to the first layer's notes (G or lower and I lowered the rest.) Or is the issue that you'd prefer me to lower those once more so that they're not on a staff line? I can do that if that's what you wanted, but I don't really want to place them where the other ones are.
Yep, just the thing bolded above. I think I remember Deku pointing that out once - that when possible it should be placed where it overlaps one staff line instead of two. Super small thing but I just thought I'd mention it anyway.
Also I think the second layer in m. 15 LH would be nicer entirely on the staff.
Aside from these small things the sheet looks great :) (though I haven't checked notes lol)
Quote from: Latios212 on August 10, 2020, 09:22:30 AMYep, just the thing bolded above. I think I remember Deku pointing that out once - that when possible it should be placed where it overlaps one staff line instead of two. Super small thing but I just thought I'd mention it anyway.
Makes sense to me.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 10, 2020, 09:22:30 AMAlso I think the second layer in m. 15 LH would be nicer entirely on the staff.
Definitely, I just wasn't paying attention when I added that note in.
New files up.
The changes look good, I approve.
I hear 3rd harmonies below in m12 b3 and 4.5 also.
Aside from that, it's perfect. Excellent work, and a beautiful arrangement.
Quote from: Maelstrom on September 07, 2020, 03:06:43 PMI hear 3rd harmonies below in m12 b3 and 4.5 also.
I don't hear a C on beat 4.5 of bar 12. I think the Bb might dip back down to an A there instead (which I've now added).
Quote from: Maelstrom on September 07, 2020, 03:06:43 PMAside from that, it's perfect. Excellent work, and a beautiful arrangement.
Thanks! And thanks for checking it over!
Great work
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot