Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: OMORI
Console: Multiplatform
Title: OMORI
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: PlayfulPiano (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5305)
(sort of related/an extension)
Hey so this is definitely a different style of arrangement than what I normally do. Instead of being as close to the original as possible, this is a lot more improv/freeform, which I think fits well with just how beautiful the underlying melody is of the track. Therefore there are a few liberties I made, mainly expanding the duration to match the combined lengh of OMORI and OMORI - ALTER, with an extended fadeout and focus of the melody over the original track's ramping up of volume and focus of the more disturbed sounds as it goes on.
Also, I have the title as such because in the OMORI OST, there are many tracks with the same name but are numbered differently (iirc there are 3 different "WHITE SPACE"s, for example). Therefore, I included the track number in the beginning.
Let me know if there's anything you'd recommend to add! Thanks.
EDIT 2021/03/21: Forgot about bolding the track title, fixed!
I can see why you chose to use more creative liberties with this, but I think as a result you're missing some details. Firstly, as things get more intense I'm hearing much more harmonies than what you have written. At measure 17 you use octaves for both hands, but I don't feel that it is appropriate since now there's less harmonies being represented and creates a more empty sounding arrangement while the piece is getting more and more dense. I think for the climax at 41 (and leading into it) it would be better to add more motion to represent the rhythmic sounds and bells in the original. Instead of doing the eighth note stutter of the low octaves, you could use a sixteenth note arpeggio that's outlining the inner chord voicings. I'm not entirely sold that this piece needs the octaves in the melody, I think just simple chords will get the job done at the climax since this piece has a calm intensity that's more felt in the denseness of the chords rather than the power of the melody. Also, the tempo should be based off the quarter note, 91 to the eighth note is not how anyone would want to count this, so I'd put 45 to the quarter note.
Quote from: cashwarrior1 on March 24, 2021, 09:31:21 AMI can see why you chose to use more creative liberties with this, but I think as a result you're missing some details. Firstly, as things get more intense I'm hearing much more harmonies than what you have written. At measure 17 you use octaves for both hands, but I don't feel that it is appropriate since now there's less harmonies being represented and creates a more empty sounding arrangement while the piece is getting more and more dense. I think for the climax at 41 (and leading into it) it would be better to add more motion to represent the rhythmic sounds and bells in the original. Instead of doing the eighth note stutter of the low octaves, you could use a sixteenth note arpeggio that's outlining the inner chord voicings. I'm not entirely sold that this piece needs the octaves in the melody, I think just simple chords will get the job done at the climax since this piece has a calm intensity that's more felt in the denseness of the chords rather than the power of the melody. Also, the tempo should be based off the quarter note, 91 to the eighth note is not how anyone would want to count this, so I'd put 45 to the quarter note.
I fixed up the tempo, but I'm trying to think of ways to make the chords more dense after measure 17 / the third phrase.
What if it used the first phrase's chords but just in the right hand? Although then I feel that the second phrase feels less complex compared to the first in terms of the right hand, idk.
By the way as I've been relistening to this, I feel like I might've misheard some of the chords in the main phrase. Now I'm hearing something different for the third, fourth, seventh, and eighth measures of each phrase. Especially the fourth and eighth measures, I think it might be Bb major instead of G minor.
EDIT 2021/03/25: Updated the sheets to include the tempo change as well as the fixes to formatting thanks to latios.
Quote from: PlayfulPiano on March 24, 2021, 11:10:06 AMI fixed up the tempo, but I'm trying to think of ways to make the chords more dense after measure 17 / the third phrase.
What if it used the first phrase's chords but just in the right hand? Although then I feel that the second phrase feels less complex compared to the first in terms of the right hand, idk.
By the way as I've been relistening to this, I feel like I might've misheard some of the chords in the main phrase. Now I'm hearing something different for the third, fourth, seventh, and eighth measures of each phrase. Especially the fourth and eighth measures, I think it might be Bb major instead of G minor.
EDIT 2021/03/25: Updated the sheets to include the tempo change as well as the fixes to formatting thanks to latios.
Just do something like this for the 3rd phrase, nothing too fancy.
(https://i.imgur.com/rRMrNYs.png)
Those may not be the exact notes, but something along the lines of that.
Quote from: PlayfulPiano on March 13, 2021, 01:56:32 PMHey so this is definitely a different style of arrangement than what I normally do. Instead of being as close to the original as possible, this is a lot more improv/freeform, which I think fits well with just how beautiful the underlying melody is of the track. Therefore there are a few liberties I made, mainly expanding the duration to match the combined lengh of OMORI and OMORI - ALTER, with an extended fadeout and focus of the melody over the original track's ramping up of volume and focus of the more disturbed sounds as it goes on.
Since we try to stick with the OST listing when possible, it would be best to only include what's explicitly in this track - track 168 - and not any other material in other versions. They are similar, but not identical and I think the Alter version would best have its own arrangement with some varied accompaniment ideas (the accompaniment in that version sounds a bit more busy than the normal version).
Anyways, back to the sheet itself. The biggest issue I have is how sparse it is. At no point in the original is the melody doubled in a lower octave - it's all in the first violin. The lower RH space would be better devoted to extra chord tones as Cashwarrior pointed out. In addition, the melody should be an octave above where you have it written, although maybe only move it up for m1-16.
I'd also recommend you double check some of those chords. For example, this is what I'm hearing for m1-8:
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/Z96VQPX.png)
The convenient thing about this piece is that (unless I'm hearing it wrong), that 8-bar chord progression keeps repeating. Once you figure out those chords, that means the only thing you need to do is figure out the best way to orchestrate them.
The gradual increase in tension is not from the melody, but rather the harmony, so I encourage you to experiment some more with Cashwarrior's suggestions (particularly the LH arpeggios that start at around 2:43 in the video). Your accompaniment at m41 doesn't really sound much like the original track, at least to me.
Let me know if you have any questions or if you want some specific help with a section.
Nice Work! This one sounds rather tough to arrange, but I think you can it!
A few things you should consider:
- The RH Melody from m1-m16 and similar should be raised by an octave. Maybe you made it this way intentionally for one reason or another, but the problem with leaving it at this level is that some of the melody's notes now intersect the accompanying chords in certain places.
- m41-48: In general, using double-dotted notes should be avoided. The rhythmic figure in these measures is normally spelled as either an 8th followed by an 8th tied to a dotted half note, or an 8th followed by a dotted quarter tied to a regular half note.
- As cash already pointed out there are still some missing harmonies, I'd recommend experimenting a little and trying to find what else is being played. Currently the sheet sounds a little too empty.
If anything I said was unclear feel free to ask :)
And good luck!
After some feedback in discord regarding this arrangement, I'm deciding to archive this submission/put it on hiatus for later. Hopefully it won't be as hard to get back to like my Beyond the Heart arrangement, since I now know a bit better with what direction I want this arrangement to head towards.