Submission Information:
Series: Undertale
Game: Deltarune
Console: PC
Title: Queen
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mastersuperfan (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3561)
[attachment deleted by admin]
The filename is great lol
Some small things:
- I mentioned this to Playful, but how should we standardize the copyright/composer text? The other Undertale/Deltarune tracks have Toby credited as Toby "Radiation" Fox, but the copyright is just Toby Fox. Also, would the year for Ch. 2 sheets be 2021, or would we change it to 2018, 2021 / 2018-2021 like how Undertale's copyright includes the demo year 2013 alongside the release year
- missing dynamic
- m4 RH I hear an Ab on top
- m8 LH I think there are low C's playing too but that's not a big deal anyways and would make it sound heavier
- m9/10 LH beat 4 I think there might be an additional C on top
- m15/19/23/27 RH the half notes sounds like they only last a dotted quarter note long instead, although it's understandable if the precision isn't worth it
- m29 RH sounds like it could use a roll marking
- m30/34/38 RH beat 1 I hear an Eb here
- m32/40 RH beat 3 unsure but I hear an Ab too
- m42 I think it's worth including the Gn here, except in the RH instead of the LH like in m26
Quote from: Zeila on September 30, 2021, 02:04:10 PM- I mentioned this to Playful, but how should we standardize the copyright/composer text? The other Undertale/Deltarune tracks have Toby credited as Toby "Radiation" Fox, but the copyright is just Toby Fox. Also, would the year for Ch. 2 sheets be 2021, or would we change it to 2018, 2021 / 2018-2021 like how Undertale's copyright includes the demo year 2013 alongside the release year good point, I removed "Radiation" from the copyright. I think just 2021 is fine since this music only released with Chapter 2
- missing dynamic done
- m4 RH I hear an Ab on top I don't hear it personally
- m8 LH I think there are low C's playing too but that's not a big deal anyways and would make it sound heavier yeah I'd like to keep F as the bottom note like in the original
- m9/10 LH beat 4 I think there might be an additional C on top I'll pass since it makes the chord heavier and disrupts the voice leading, at least in my ears
- m15/19/23/27 RH the half notes sounds like they only last a dotted quarter note long instead, although it's understandable if the precision isn't worth it yeah I didn't want to write them like that
- m29 RH sounds like it could use a roll marking got
- m30/34/38 RH beat 1 I hear an Eb here got
- m32/40 RH beat 3 unsure but I hear an Ab too hmm I don't hear it
- m42 I think it's worth including the Gn here, except in the RH instead of the LH like in m26 got
- m1-8 LH beat 1: The bass part adds a lower octave on the repeat. While it would be tricky to play, it's definitely not that hard (you have similar jumps on page 2). You could add the notes with smaller noteheads and say "2nd time only" or something.
- m9-10 LH beat 4: I would still recommend adding the C because it changes the quality of the chord - those are not Eb major chords, they're Cm7b5 chords. The voice leading still makes sense because the C moves to F in the original (the F chords have the F doubled on top which you didn't include). There's 4 voices all moving at once there.
- m28 LH beat 3: It might be cool to add the bass here in some way. Probably not a glissando, but maybe just An in octaves. It sounds fine without it too though.
Edit: Also consider spreading out the last systems on page 1 with 5-measure systems. You could have four 5-measure systems across pages 1-2 instead of two 6-measure systems, for example.
Quote from: Static on October 09, 2021, 03:44:15 PM- m1-8 LH beat 1: The bass part adds a lower octave on the repeat. While it would be tricky to play, it's definitely not that hard (you have similar jumps on page 2). You could add the notes with smaller noteheads and say "2nd time only" or something.
- m9-10 LH beat 4: I would still recommend adding the C because it changes the quality of the chord - those are not Eb major chords, they're Cm7b5 chords. The voice leading still makes sense because the C moves to F in the original (the F chords have the F doubled on top which you didn't include). There's 4 voices all moving at once there.
- m28 LH beat 3: It might be cool to add the bass here in some way. Probably not a glissando, but maybe just An in octaves. It sounds fine without it too though.
Done!
Quote from: Static on October 09, 2021, 03:44:15 PMEdit: Also consider spreading out the last systems on page 1 with 5-measure systems. You could have four 5-measure systems across pages 1-2 instead of two 6-measure systems, for example.
I'd like to preserve the hypermeter going into page 2. The six-measure systems at the bottom of page 1 don't look too cramped to me.
Looks good, I'll approve now
I've got nothing more to add, this looks great!
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot