Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Mario Tennis
Console: Game Boy Color
Title: Menu
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Nine Lives (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5395)
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Moderately invigorating ;D
One thing that did jump out at me is that at m47 the LH part is flats whereas the RH and in other instances of this rhythm the accidentals are sharps.
I don't think there's any real difference here tone or chord-wise relative to other times this rhythm pops up so make sure it that is consistent
Quote from: Kricketune54 on February 15, 2022, 07:44:21 AMOne thing that did jump out at me is that at m47 the LH part is flats whereas the RH and in other instances of this rhythm the accidentals are sharps.
I getcha. I mostly did it because the next measure was a half-step down. I changed it to sharps and now the next measure has courtesy naturals.
Good callout Kricketune - but NineLives these should actually be flats. A few quick things that imply that at a glance:
- The bass in the previous and next measure is D, so it would make more sense to write it as Eb (chromatic neighboring tone) - just as you would write D-Eb-D in a melodic figure to avoid sharping and then naturaling the same note.
- The right hand plays Dn, so Eb would be better to avoid potential confusion.
- Aside from the right hand being the fifth of the left hand note on beat 1 (so Bb over a root Eb), a melody A#-Cn-Dn is pretty unnatural. The three melody notes are pairwise a whole step apart, but A#-C is a diminished third when it could be written as a more normal-looking major second like between C-D. In other words, Bb-C-D are part of the same diatonic scale. There isn't any "normal" diatonic scale that has A# but Cn and Dn.
Make sure to fix this in each instance (m. 11, 15, etc). Hopefully this helps you get the right sense of what accidentals to use in future sheets as well!
Got it!
Neato. Going through the rest now:
- (everywhere) Highly recommend avoiding staccato dotted notes, you can use (potentially staccato) eighth + 16th rest instead
- I don't think the LH restrikes on m. 1 beat 4.25, m. 5 beat 4.5
- m. 3 RH beat 1 - you can just use a dotted quarter note
- m. 6 LH beat 4.25 should be A# instead of Bb (fifth over D# root)
- m. 7 LH beat 4.5 should be C# instead of E
- The above four comments apply to m. 17-24 too
- m. 10/14/42/46 beat 3 (and similar) - you can just use a dotted half note
- m. 17 - tie between RH beats 3.75-4 should be flipped upwards
- You might want to consider continuity of the lower voice in the places that it's missing in m. 17 and 21. You could include the missing notes an octave up similar to how you have it in other places if you like
- I think m. 25-40 should be in 3 flats. It starts on or returns to Ebmaj or Cm a few times in this section
- m. 49-end should be in F major (one flat) - you can see it beginning and ending on F chords
- Align the ending numbers above the beat 1 notes in m. 56-57
- The last measure should have the F sustained in the upper layer instead of re-struck with the A's.
Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2022, 08:53:30 PM- I don't think the LH restrikes on m. 1 beat 4.25, m. 5 beat 4.5
The notes are there, the synth just makes them sound less prominent from how smooth it is. They're more noticeable in the Nintendo 64's version of the song (https://youtu.be/uuzMIovgm8I).
Other than that, it should all be good depending on your judgement of measures 17 and 21's lower voice implementation. If I did miss anything though, let me know!
Quote from: NineLives on February 17, 2022, 09:58:32 AMThe notes are there, the synth just makes them sound less prominent from how smooth it is. They're more noticeable in the Nintendo 64's version of the song (https://youtu.be/uuzMIovgm8I).
Ah hearing that N64 version is pretty neat haha. I'm still not sure I hear it in the original but it's fine
Just a couple small things left!
- Spacing is off in the first couple measures (click on them with the note entry tool to automatically respace)
Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2022, 08:53:30 PM- The last measure should have the F sustained in the upper layer instead of re-struck with the A's.
I was suggesting something like this, with some adjustments to avoid clashing on beat 2 (either increasing the space between staves there or flipping the LH beam) -
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/944002863514939392/unknown.png
Done and done!
Cool, approved ^^
This is quite the menu theme
- If you want to, I suggest centering your staccato notes over the noteheads rather than the stems (see here (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=11591.0). Not necessarily required, I just think it looks a little nicer that way. Feel free to leave it.
- You missed a couple dotted staccato notes in the LH (m6, 22)
- Courtesy C# on beat 1 would be nice for m7 RH.
- m7/23 RH beat 4: I don't hear the note on beat 4.25 as part of the melody here (I hear just the two 8th notes on beat 4 and 4.5), it sounds like an echo to me. Even on the N64 version it still sounds like just an echo note.
- m37 RH beat 2.5: Fb should be En (Dm chord here).
- m56 RH: To keep that clash between the melody and RH accompaniment, I would leave out the 8ths on beat 1 of the bottom layer, and just put a F whole note in the top layer.
Everything should now be in order!
Indeed, I'll accept now
This submission has been accepted by Static (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4960).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot