Submission Information:
Series: Animal Crossing
Game: Animal Crossing: New Horizons
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Toy Day
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: JustNoble (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6111)
Re-uploaded because of a mistake I made.
Repost:
Welcome to NinSheetMusic! Very solid sheet you have here, it looks like you have a very good grasp of piano arranging. I'm gonna get into a bunch of minute details here.
- Although Yasuaki Iwata is listed as the composer on the soundtrack, this track is an arrangement of the original Toy Day theme, composed by Shinobu Tanaka. I'd recommend adding her as a composer, or if you want to be more detailed, do:
"Composed by Shinobu Tanaka
Arranged by Yasuaki Iwata (also in bold)
Arranged for piano by JustNoble" - I like the condensed keyboard part you used for the LH in m1-2, but I'd recommend making beat 4.5 in m1 Db-Eb instead of Bb-Eb, to better imply the Eb7 chord there.
- Similarly, beats 3-4 of m2 LH should be the same chord - I'd recommend Bb and Db instead of Bb and Eb. The chord there is an Eb7, without the third.
- The melody in m5-12 is played without harmony in the original recording. I would recommend removing the lower notes and just letting the LH provide the harmonic framework here. If you want to keep the RH harmonies for a more full texture, then I would recommend harmonizing in 5ths/6ths. Some of your current RH harmonies don't seem to fit with the chords, so pay attention to the underlying chord progression (Ab, Db/Ab, Abmaj7, Db/Ab).
- m6/10 RH beat 3: Separating 16th note triplets is standard practice in older scores (sometimes), but I often think it's easier to read when beamed. You can do this in NotePad by pressing the "/" key while the 8th note after is highlighted.
- m7-8 RH: I hear this break a little differently, with beat 2.5 just being Ab (no Db underneath). The chords on beats 3-4 should be the same (Ab-Db-Eb). In m8, I would move the Eb on beat 2.5 down an octave, since that's where it plays in the original, but also to get out of the way of the flugelhorn melody.
- m11-12 RH: The accordion figure should be an octave lower, and sounds a bit different to me.
- The guitar accompaniment I hear a bit differently than you have in m5-12, particularly the bass notes. In the original track, m5-12 is built around changing chords on a pedal Ab bass. Also the bass on beat 3 of m12 should be Eb (Eb9sus4 chord).
- With the above points in mind, here's how m5-12 could look:
m5-12
(https://i.imgur.com/ODdUFN9.png)
- You have a lot of empty space on the top of page 1. I can help re-space your sheet for you once everything is taken care of, since NotePad isn't able to do that.
- There are a handful of other things I'll get too, like the page number being large than the title on page 2, etc.
I would focus your attention to picking out those specific voices throughout the rest this sheet, so I'll leave you with this much for now.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask (here or on Discord, whichever is easiest for you).
Thank you for reviewing my submission! I made the changes you suggested, let me know if everything is correct :)
Looks great! I have some more stuff to go over, mostly regarding m13-end.
- m1-4: When a quarter rest falls on an offbeat, split it into eighth rests. Also, after listening some more, I think Bb-Db (instead of Db-Eb) actually works better for beat 4.5 of m1/3, since it more clearly shows the C-Db-Eb melodic line.
- m11 RH beat 1: You can flip that note up since there's nothing in the way there. Also, for that arpeggio marking, if you want you can make it one long line that stretches across both hands. This is usually how these big rolled chords are notated, and it would likely be performed the same either way.
- The start of 8va markings should hang just a little bit over the left edge of the note; you have it right in m15 and m28, but not in other places.
- m13 RH: Beats 1-2 here only have the top octave; they're not doubled. The lower note on beat 3 should be Bb.
- m14 RH: The lower note on beat 1 should be Bb; you can also make this note a dotted quarter since it's held in the original track.
- m15 RH: There's an Eb below the Ab on beat 2, and likewise this should be written as a half note.
- m16 RH: Instead of making beat 2 so low, just move the 8va a little to the left so it doesn't cover that note. The Ab should be in the middle of the staff.
- m13-20 LH: I also hear the accompaniment part a little differently, more like this (this screenshot also includes the RH changes I mentioned):
m13-20
(https://i.imgur.com/SX5slhY.png)
Try to listen carefully through m21-32 and see listen for the individual voices (the bass especially), although it is kind of tricky to hear through the texture. m22 is also a spot to look out for, since that chord introduces some accidentals to the mix - see if you can hear it. Let me know if you need any help or want some suggestions. I'd be glad to talk you though this stuff if you'd like.
Hey thank you for your review! I'm really busy at the moment so I'll try to implement these suggestions as soon as I can :)
Bump for arranger. How is this coming along?
Gonna archive this one for inactivity. Resubmit it when you have the chance