Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Octopath Traveler
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: A Sea Breeze Blows
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Some really lush harmonies in this one! I had to get a little creative writing in left hand arpeggios in m. 31-46 because of the lack of super distinguishable layers in the original. I think what I wrote captures the sweeping feel of the original though!
Good stuff, always happy to see some more Octopath
- There are some additional bass notes on beat 4 of m2, 4, etc. that might be nice to add.
- m22: Cn should be B#; Eaug chord where the B# resolves to C# in the next bar.
- m33: Any reason why the grace notes in this measure are before the barline? I don't think it really affects anything either way, but I was just wondering.
- m31-42 LH: I like this accompaniment, but I'm not really sure it captures the feel of this section. Something like this has more of a lighthearted feel (capturing some of those offbeat guitar parts), and it's not much harder than what you had before:
(https://i.imgur.com/NtWCqfe.png)
I'd keep the sweeping arpeggios in m33-34 and 37-38 though. - m45 LH: What you have works fine, but you could move around the notes on beats 3-4 to match the upper piano part there:
(https://i.imgur.com/gXuG3O7.png)
Whoops... kinda lost track of time on this one haha.
Quote from: Static on April 11, 2022, 11:34:21 AMm31-42 LH: I like this accompaniment, but I'm not really sure it captures the feel of this section. Something like this has more of a lighthearted feel (capturing some of those offbeat guitar parts), and it's not much harder than what you had before:
(https://i.imgur.com/NtWCqfe.png)
I'd keep the sweeping arpeggios in m33-34 and 37-38 though.[/li][/list]
Yeah... this makes sense. I had a hard time making anything sensible out of the original there while trying to outline the harmony and preserve the general rising contour. Can definitely play around with it a bit
I haven't made any changes yet, but I might ping you sometime in the next few days for specific help/ideas on the above if you have a bit of time to spare. Thanks for the feedback!
Quote from: Static on April 11, 2022, 11:34:21 AMThere are some additional bass notes on beat 4 of m2, 4, etc. that might be nice to add.
I think I'd prefer not to since it'd be a bit annoying to jump back and forth with the left hand in places where it's not super easily reachable - plus the bass doesn't change and there's already enough interesting stuff going on rhythmically between the two hands.
Quote from: Static on April 11, 2022, 11:34:21 AMm22: Cn should be B#; Eaug chord where the B# resolves to C# in the next bar.
Got that~
Quote from: Static on April 11, 2022, 11:34:21 AMm33: Any reason why the grace notes in this measure are before the barline? I don't think it really affects anything either way, but I was just wondering.
Yep - I didn't think super closely about this before but here more than the other places I feel like the run needs to start notably before the beat (and the 3 notes being in the previous empty bar helps use the space better). I did notice that the ones in 52 would be better after the barline though since they were pretty close to the quarter note E
Quote from: Static on April 11, 2022, 11:34:21 AM- m31-42 LH: I like this accompaniment, but I'm not really sure it captures the feel of this section. Something like this has more of a lighthearted feel (capturing some of those offbeat guitar parts), and it's not much harder than what you had before:
(https://i.imgur.com/NtWCqfe.png)
I'd keep the sweeping arpeggios in m33-34 and 37-38 though. - m45 LH: What you have works fine, but you could move around the notes on beats 3-4 to match the upper piano part there:
(https://i.imgur.com/gXuG3O7.png)
Yep I like your suggestions! Discussed a bit over Discord and decided to skip notes on beat 4.5, and delay the strike of the LH from beat 3 to beat 3.5 in those measures. Also decided to tie beat 2.5 over in m. 45, starting from the screenshot above, to avoid having the LH descending (and this matches the rhythm in the rest of the part now).
Files updated, thanks so much for the help! I feel a lot better about that left hand part now.
Yep, everything looks good to me. I approve, very nice sheet
Really cool piece, and nice work! Just a few tiny things:
-m23: Maybe you could move the mf dynamic marking a bit more right so it's centered under the first grace note? There should be enough place between the staves for that.
-m50: I hear a grace note D in the R.H. before the C# on beat 3. Also, you could probably write the B on beat 3.5 as a dotted quarter note, unless you prefer this tied way of course ^^
-m54: Was there a specific reason you didn't add any bass-y notes on beat 1 here? It's not as empty as just a little dyad in the original. Some other suggestion aside from a bass note: you could also add an E below the A-C# dyad, so the Fn from the bar before resolves a bit more neatly (you could even remove the A in the R.H. as well, if you want it a bit less full, since you do have an A in the L.H. then)
Thank you! :)
Quote from: Bloop on April 26, 2022, 01:28:14 PM-m23: Maybe you could move the mf dynamic marking a bit more right so it's centered under the first grace note? There should be enough place between the staves for that.
Agreed, got it!
Quote from: Bloop on April 26, 2022, 01:28:14 PM-m50: I hear a grace note D in the R.H. before the C# on beat 3. Also, you could probably write the B on beat 3.5 as a dotted quarter note, unless you prefer this tied way of course ^^
Ah yep that's there! For the rhythm... I think it really depends on the piece, how I feel like writing that out. I've already changed it to a dotted quarter elsewhere in the piece, so I'll do the same here.
Quote from: Bloop on April 26, 2022, 01:28:14 PM-m54: Was there a specific reason you didn't add any bass-y notes on beat 1 here? It's not as empty as just a little dyad in the original. Some other suggestion aside from a bass note: you could also add an E below the A-C# dyad, so the Fn from the bar before resolves a bit more neatly (you could even remove the A in the R.H. as well, if you want it a bit less full, since you do have an A in the L.H. then)
I don't know what I was thinking xD yeah A in the bass and E-C# in the right hand sounds good!
Files updated~
Great, then this is accepted!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/895351643024015360/906174892746108988/BloopApproves2.png
This submission has been accepted by Bloop (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=1023).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot