Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: King's Valley II: The Seal of El Giza
Console: PC
Title: The Next Pyramid
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Atcero (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4216)
[attachment deleted by admin]
For the MSX computer, which im assuming goes under PC for now :kekdog:
This song has a few names ive seen across the internet, but The Next Pyramid seems to be the most consistent (outside In Search of the Secret Spell which is actually the Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin remix name) so imma go with that until now unless something super definitive is found.
For the song itself, I put the first part in D Double Harmonic Major (ty Zunawe) but the b section I put into A minor as there were a lot of naturals that made the sheet look not so nice.
I also incorporated the second rhythm line in the A section in the base until the ends of those phrases.
With that, the OST im posting lists it as "Demo among Pyramid" (2:13 time stamp, sorry there are no split versions of the OST)
Quote from: Atcero on May 02, 2022, 09:56:37 AMthe b section I put into A minor as there were a lot of naturals that made the sheet look not so nice.
Generally one does not choose the key signature like this, I think it should be either in G major or G minor, since G becomes the new tonal center from m9 onwards.
- You have a rogue double barline between ms. 9 & 10, I don't think that's needed.
- ..and a rogue second-layer rest in m5 (i hate it when musescore does that)
- ms. 4 & 8 are missing 8th rests on beat 1
- In the same measures, you can reduce the amount of ties by changing the notes on b2.25 to dotted eighths.
- The D.C. text can be moved upwards a tad
- Minor thing, but while your system spacing is good I think it could be optimised a bit: The systems on the second page could be a bit more spread out, and the first system (+ composer/arranger text) could be moved down a bit. Again, this is extremely nitpicky, and it works fine as is, just some suggestions :p
All updated, thank ya!
For this tho
QuoteGenerally one does not choose the key signature like this, I think it should be either in G major or G minor, since G becomes the new tonal center from m9 onwards.
I should have worded it better, but I did think it went to A minor on my first pass and is why I chose it. On second look though you are right and it went into G minor
You're welcome :) And yeah I figured later on that might have been what you meant, but initially it kinda seemed like "oh fewer accidentals=better keysig" lol
- You're right that this is in double harmonic major, but the accidentals should match that. All your Dbs and Gbs should be C#s and F#s.
- m1-8 LH: I hear the bassline as simply this for each measure here:
(https://i.imgur.com/7pzeuy7.png)
There's another voice that plays on the offbeats, but it sounds like it's a 5th above the bass, so altogether it would look like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/vBIPfic.png)
However, you could simplify that combined part into something like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/gvb92p6.png)
Up to you, but my point is basically all those measures are identical in the original track. - m4/8 RH Layer 2: This rhythm is the one played in m1/3/5/etc.; on even measures the first two notes are an 8th and a quarter.
- m4/8 RH Layer 2: The lower voice sounds like it should be a third higher than you have written (so basically parallel 4ths instead of 6ths)
- m9 RH beat 3: Dot is touching the notes in Layer 2; you can use the Dot Mover and Note Mover tools to adjust the spacing there.
- m15 RH beats 3-4: Maybe adjust those lower notes unless you don't mind the pedal being used there.
- The top of page 1 seems a bit cramped, but you have enough space to move the systems down and closer together.
- Alternatively, this doesn't look so bad with a 3-3-3-3-4 measure distribution per system, and that would let you fit things on 1 page with 5 systems. It's fine either way though.
So not uploading the file just yet but got the accidentals fixed, thought i got those the first time through so thank ya!
Now onto the badboi rhythm line of this song, aka second voice (these are the rough ones so only the notes are correct, not really actual notation and apologies about the bigger pictures hopefully they dont make you scroll a whole lot):
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/777046877584752651/971909313574608936/unknown.png
So for the voice #5 staff (last one), I have combined the 4th and 5th voice playing at the same time. For the bass, I tried just having 4/5 being in a 2nd layer in the treble cleft under voice 3. It was uh, ugly and unplayable. So, what I did for the bass was add:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/777046877584752651/971909937980641380/unknown.png
The top notes and a few other harmonics to it from the original rhythm. I cut some of these out in the final just due to the complexity of trying to play some of those 16th notes that fast as I prioritized the bass. It is actually a fourth above with the rhythm layer for some parts and in others its a third above, and overall they are a thirds technically for voices 4 and 5 (as seen in first pic boi). I did drop these to be 6ths instead as they clashed with the other voice, however I am fine moving em up we just might have to scooch that F over so it doesnt look like this beautiful thing:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/777046877584752651/971911746275147816/unknown.png
That makes sense, combining those parts the way you did. I think I was just having some trouble picking out what exactly it was you were mixing together there. With that said, I still have a few suggestions to improve playability and also match voices 4-5 closer:
- Regarding voices 4-5, I still hear the rhythm a bit differently:
(https://i.imgur.com/Spding6.png)
While discussing this part on Discord, Atcero sent me the split audio for those channels (here (https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/729852974339326023/972200396472860702/2022-05-06_13-15-58.mp4)), so those voices are much clearer to me now. - Taking into account that background voice above, the LH pattern I think could be modified/simplified a bit. We talked over Discord and came up with this:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/729852974339326023/972195887885471744/unknown.png
Thanks for taking the time to go through your arranging process here. Everything above has been addressed and taken care of now, so I'll
approve
Just two things from me:
-I think considering the fact that the piece moves completely into Gm in bar 9 I don't really see the need to notate the first eight bars in D. I get that it's D double harmonic major but practically I don't think it's very helpful for the sheet. It doesn't cut down on accidentals (you just end up needing to write in the Ebs and Bbs in the first eight bars rather than the C#s and F#s) and makes the reader have to put up with a key signature change which makes misreadings much more likely.
-Personally I would just stick to the bassline in the first 8 bars in the left hand rather than adding the extra notes in which make it a lot harder to play (particularly on beat 1.25). I don't think it adds that much to the sheet while increasing the difficulty substantially.
Other than that, I should mention that the repeat doesn't work at the end (and also that the repeat might be better as a simple repeat marking rather than a DC, since this is a single page sheet, but I don't really mind about that). Nice sheet.
After listening to it a few times yeah I agree with the bass sadly cause those do be 16ths. Otherwise, I got it all updated! thank ya!
Edits look great. I think I missed some alignment issues though (apologies if so), or maybe they were introduced by the key signature change.
-In bar 4 the RH isn't aligned on beat 3 (also the F# shouldn't be there since there's already an F# in the second layer on beat 2).
-In bar 9 the RH isn't aligned on beat 3, and the augmentation dot is stuck inside the second layer. Either move the dot past the second layer or swap the order of the layers so the dot can come immediately after the D.
Updated, thank ya! Just let me know if i need to edit it a bit more for that positioning
Beat 3 is still misaligned in bar 9. I would just re-enter the RH notes on beat 3 to fix it.
Updated, thank ya!
Cool, accepted!
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot