Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: GoldenEye 007
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Frigate
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Fantastic Ike (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3403)
Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mus/369) | MIDI (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mid/369) | PDF (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/369)
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Looked through NSM Audit and apparently the track is called "Frigate 'La Fayette'"
Updated accordingly
Formatting-Just take out the "Arranged by" ahead of the "Based on the... etc." credit
-Page 4's first system seems a little high relative to the other pages, so just lower the systems a bit
Notes-m8 RH chord should be Bb-F-Bb
-m12 RH chord should be C-F-Bb (Bb on top)
-m13-19 I think the notes on beat 3.5 are preferably written as eighth notes, followed by a quarter rest rather than a staccato quarter and an eighth rest
-m26 for the lower RH layer is this C# on beat 4 to transition to the C? I don't think this actually ends up being a very comfortable with the E and the C# being played at the same time, might be better to just write it the C# as a whole note instead
-m49 RH the second note in this measure should be written as eighth tied to quarter note. Also applies for m54 tho this time that RH B should be two eighths tied.
-m57 RH beat's 3.5-4.5 I don't think there's a difference in the note length of this rhythm compared to other instances so put staccatos on these 3 eighth notes
-m64-65 RH There's some additional parts playing these notes so I think it would be good to include a lower octave for these measures to match the LH
Not too big a deal but this version linked is actually not the entire song. There's a few more bars before the song loops through to the beginning again so those bars need to be added as well as a repeat sign to the beginning. This is the full version
You've really been giving killer feedback lately Kricketune, surprised you're not an updater already
The song's repeat would technically start on m5, but the only thing different is a drum track and dynamic change. Lemme know if my m1 change doesn't work
I think everything else should be fixed
Quote from: Fantastic Ike on August 01, 2022, 12:01:20 PMYou've really been giving killer feedback lately Kricketune, surprised you're not an updater already
Thanks haha just a few things I noticed, wanted to give some feedback on
QuoteThe song's repeat would technically start on m5, but the only thing different is a drum track and dynamic change. Lemme know if my m1 change doesn't work
See the linked extended version for how it loops back to beginning at m1. Gameplay vids of the level also have the music looping this way
Spoiler
Last thing I've got: don't feel necessary to include but you know how in the last two measures the RH chords sort of decay down a half step twice to F-D-Bb (m68 beat 3) and then E-C#-A (m69 beat 3)? Not sure how well decaying like that would work on a piano (probably fine to stick with what you have) but wanted to call it out as an idea
QuoteSee the linked extended version for how it loops back to beginning at m1. Gameplay vids of the level also have the music looping this way
Yeah, I think the way I looped it back works but we'll see what the updaters have to say.
QuoteLast thing I've got: don't feel necessary to include but you know how in the last two measures the RH chords sort of decay down a half step twice to F-D-Bb (m68 beat 3) and then E-C#-A (m69 beat 3)? Not sure how well decaying like that would work on a piano (probably fine to stick with what you have) but wanted to call it out as an idea
I also considered this. Microtonal stuff is hard to do with pianos. The most I think I would personally do is have the bassline descend but again we'll see what others say
About the name, there are a lot of names going around for these goldeneye sheets, but there isn't an official track listing anywhere. The most official, yet incomplete track list we have is on Grant Kirkhope's site (https://www.grantkirkhope.com/goldeneye-007/) which uses the shorter mission name titles, which I believe are also the titles that most of the G007 fans know. Thus, I think keeping the name as "Frigate" would be best, since it would also fit with the other names that are already on site (like Train, Bunker, Facility, etc)
-m1-12: Maybe you could add an octave below these L.H. notes, so they're more punchy?
-m5, 7, 9 and 11: You could also add grace note a half step below these notes/dyads, for the little pitch bend in this synth voice
-m8: I hear another C on top of this chord, but not the Bb below
-m12: Same here, I hear another C on top of this chord.
-m13: Make sure the 8va marking below here is written as 8vb. You can edit the marking with the Smart Shape Tool, under SmartShape -> Smart Shape Options. Select "Octave Down" in the Symbols drop down menu and Select your preferred marking. Most on-site sheets use 8vb.
-m13-20: Similarly to m1-12, maybe you could add the E below the R.H. for more punch as well, maybe even with accents? Similarly later on in the sheet
-m21-22: The high Eb and D with the low B aren't playable for most small or average size handed individuals. I don't think it's desirable to use pedal in this part, so it's probably best to write the B in m21 as a dotted half note + quarter rest and just leave it out in m22. Same in m29-30
-m23, 31, 43 and 51: You can write this Bb as an A#, since it leads towards the Bn
-m27: The Cn-E decime is also a playability concern, but I think you can just move the Cn up an octave. The voice leading for the second voice will be smoother, and the melody is still clear even though it goes below the Cn.
-m35: The tie is touching the low E in beat 3.5, you might wanna try decreasing the tie's curve so it just goes through the stem. Also, you're missing the courtesy accidental on the Cn here (you're using it everywhere else, so it's best to leave this one in too for consistency)
-m58 and 62: I think it'll look best if the orchestra hits are in a separate layer in these measures too, like you did in the other measures.
-m61: You're also missing an orchestra hit on beat 1
-m69: Just a personal preference, but I prefer using D.C. for repeating back to the beginning instead of a repeat bar, as a repeat bar usually suggests the existence of another forward repeat bar imo.
Lastly, maybe you could try to incorporate some of the drum patterns in the L.H., as the sheet sounds a lot emptier in places like m5-12 compared to the original.
Quote-m13-20: Similarly to m1-12, maybe you could add the E below the R.H. for more punch as well, maybe even with accents? Similarly later on in the sheet
With the 8vb, wouldn't it be too low for a piano to reach an E below what's already there?
Quote-m21-22: The high Eb and D with the low B aren't playable for most small or average size handed individuals. I don't think it's desirable to use pedal in this part, so it's probably best to write the B in m21 as a dotted half note + quarter rest and just leave it out in m22. Same in m29-30
I didn't intend to have it held the whole time; I just thought you had to have it notated like that to "let ring" for lack of a better term.
QuoteLastly, maybe you could try to incorporate some of the drum patterns in the L.H., as the sheet sounds a lot emptier in places like m5-12 compared to the original.
What would you suggest? Have a pedal E pattern like in most of the piece?
The rest should be updated
Quote from: Fantastic Ike on August 09, 2022, 08:52:38 AMWith the 8vb, wouldn't it be too low for a piano to reach an E below what's already there?
I meant in the R.H., like this:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/1006846618848477184/unknown.png
Maybe I shouldn't have said similarly :p
Quote from: Fantastic Ike on August 09, 2022, 08:52:38 AMI didn't intend to have it held the whole time; I just thought you had to have it notated like that to "let ring" for lack of a better term.
It kinda comes down to personal preference too, since something similar happened in a sheet of xiao. I personally prefer to have the sheet as clear as possible with what can be played, but there's something to be said to be clear about voice leading as well.
Quote from: Fantastic Ike on August 09, 2022, 08:52:38 AMWhat would you suggest? Have a pedal E pattern like in most of the piece?
Something with more motion than that, the easiest way being to use the low octave for bass drum notes and the high octave for snare hits:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/1006851774512103424/unknown.png
Also notice how I included the drum fill at m12. You could consider using the high octave snare thing and imitate the fills later on too. Make sure they're still playable though ^^
Because the repeat includes the drum beat as well, you might wanna add four bars at the end with the drum beat version of the intro.
One other tiny thing:
-m12: You could leave the C below on beat 3.5, I hear this one in the original too.
Did you mean to replace everything in the bass with the drum pattern? All I notated in were fills, plus that section in the beginning. Let me know which would be best! Everything else should be fixed!
Not with the exact same pattern, but just including the high E for the snare does sound a bit better imo, as it has a bit more groove to it:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/1007313097968594974/unknown.png
As for the fills, you're currently missing some places which should have fills, and other places have the wrong fills notated in them.
This one should be in m20, 28, 40 and 48:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/1007315435357745263/unknown.png
This one should be in m24 and m44:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/1007315520829259907/unknown.png
And this one should be in m36 and 56 (so only on beats 3-4!):
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/863709312067829811/1007315729932095509/unknown.png
One other thing I didn't notice before, make sure that in m64 the rhythm of the R.H. and L.H. are notated the same. I'd prefer changing the R.H. to the L.H. rhythm.
Lastly, in the newly added m70-73, the bottom note of the R.H. clashes a bit with the top octave notes of the L.H. You could leave it that way if you wanna keep the three octaves at the start of each bar, but you should probably remove one of the doubled notes of the Fn in m73 beat 3.5 (I'd choose to top Fn of the L.H.)
That should be all though!
Sure thing, should be all fixed!
Awesome! Then I'll approve!
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/895351643024015360/906174785795522560/BloopActuallyApproves.png
Awesome thanks!
This looks alright but the left hand percussion patterns could be a lot more consistent. Compare bars 57-63 to the rest of the piece, where the percussion suddenly disappears completely. There are other places where the percussion isn't treated consistently, like the snare hits in bars 70-73 being the same height as the bass drum, there being no fill on the Fns in bars 8/12/73, no fill in bar 65 etc.
Other things:
-Missing a G in the chord in bar 66 beat 2.5.
-Snare drums are placed on the wrong beat in bars 6/10.
-You could probably drop the 8va in bar 5-6 and then put a loco in bar 57. It gets a bit messy in some places. Otherwise, try to tidy it up a bit. You can do this by using the white space at the bottom of the page more effectively i.e. spread the systems out more evenly across the page vertically. To be honest, maybe a 4-5-5-5 system distribution would look a lot nicer. I would go with that even if you did remove the 8vas.
-I'm not sure about that C in bar 63 beat 2. Sounds like another B to me.
-I don't understand why the Gn has a courtesy accidental in bar 5+. The key signature is right there, and there's no way you could misread it with the G# immediately after it. I guess that could be a F## but I don't really mind.
-Why mf-f? in bar 5?
Quote-You could probably drop the 8va in bar 5-6 and then put a loco in bar 57. It gets a bit messy in some places. Otherwise, try to tidy it up a bit. You can do this by using the white space at the bottom of the page more effectively i.e. spread the systems out more evenly across the page vertically. To be honest, maybe a 4-5-5-5 system distribution would look a lot nicer. I would go with that even if you did remove the 8vas.
Not sure what exactly is meant here. Drop the octave line only in those two measures? I also tried to distribute the measures like you said. Ignore formatting for now, will clean it up when I get more clarity on this section.
Otherwise think everything else should be fixed here.
No, I mean this sort of thing.
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/1011316266524475402/unknown.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/1011316310136864829/unknown.png
It doesn't have to look exactly like that, but something to that effect. As a separate point, if you don't know what something I said means, in this case loco, don't just blindly put it in the sheet. Ask, or, even better, look it up yourself.
Quote from: Libera on August 21, 2022, 03:23:08 PMYou can do this by using the white space at the bottom of the page more effectively i.e. spread the systems out more evenly across the page vertically. To be honest, maybe a 4-5-5-5 system distribution would look a lot nicer.
Ok, so you still aren't using the white space very well. Compare this to your page 2 and hopefully you can see what I mean.
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/1011402973282312222/unknown.png
I think you misunderstood what I said about the systems, and have turned (almost) everything into 5-bar systems. Can you tell that they look incredibly cramped and awkward? I wasn't suggesting this. I was suggesting 4 systems on page 1, 5 on the second, 5 on the third, 5 on the fourth.
Quote from: Libera on August 21, 2022, 03:23:08 PM-I'm not sure about that C in bar 63 beat 2. Sounds like another B to me.
This?
Quote from: Libera on August 21, 2022, 03:23:08 PM-I don't understand why the Gn has a courtesy accidental in bar 5+. The key signature is right there, and there's no way you could misread it with the G# immediately after it. I guess that could be a F## but I don't really mind.
This applied to all of them. I don't think the performer can misread this.
Quote from: Libera on August 21, 2022, 03:23:08 PM-Why mf-f? in bar 5?
Should it not be forte?
You need to take more care in dynamic placement. The cresc in bars 57-63 is too low or colliding all over the place, the ff in bar 64 isn't centred properly, the f in bar 70 is off from the cresc. etc. Just try and be more careful with checking whether elements in the sheet look correct and make it neat.
Sorry for the general sloppiness of my submissions lately. Been dealing with COVID and guess it's been affecting the quality of my work. Hopefully layout/lazy mistakes have been mostly fixed here.
That's alright, no worries.
I just made some edits to clear up those 8vb markings using some custom smartshapes (if you want to learn how to do that I suggest just messing around with the custom smartshapes I made. I also tidied up the tie in bar 27-28 and centred some dynamics a little more carefully. If you're happy with the edits I will accept.
Thank you! I was trying to play around with smart shapes myself. But yeah go ahead and accept!
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot