Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Genshin Impact
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Lustrous Stars
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344)
Performance for comparison!
This seems pretty solid - one thing I was thinking you could add as a small extra detail is how at m13 and m14 there are those slight hesitations between beats 2 and 3. There's also a similar one at m19 - obviously this is implied with the Rubato direction at the beginning, so if you really wanted you could have hidden rit. and a tempos to emulate this exactly with the playback haha. Just an idea though, not required
• m28 RH 1.0 I think there's an A# instead of the G at the bottom of this first note group
• m30 LH 1.0 these notes sound rolled
Thanks for checking! :)
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 30, 2023, 04:32:47 PMThis seems pretty solid - one thing I was thinking you could add as a small extra detail is how at m13 and m14 there are those slight hesitations between beats 2 and 3. There's also a similar one at m19 - obviously this is implied with the Rubato direction at the beginning, so if you really wanted you could have hidden rit. and a tempos to emulate this exactly with the playback haha. Just an idea though, not required
I think these are subtle enough that I'd like the rubato to cover them :P
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 30, 2023, 04:32:47 PM• m28 RH 1.0 I think there's an A# instead of the G at the bottom of this first note group
I think they're both there, but the G sounds more prominent to me. (It'd be Bb instead of A# though, since you have A as the root. A7b9)
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 30, 2023, 04:32:47 PM• m30 LH 1.0 these notes sound rolled
Did you mean 31? If so, I agree. m. 30 is just a single note on beat 1, though.
Yes haha did mean m31. As for m28, I agree with that rationale and going with G instead. Approved
- m7 & maybe m5: Thoughts on using 2 layers/cross staff for the RH here? The notes on beat 2 sound distinctly softer than the main melody, and that isn't made clear at the moment
- m19: I think those 16ths would be better as grace notes, similar to m29
- m23: the RH beat 1 stem can face downwards
- I'm not so fond of the clef changes in the LH; if you'd prefer not to write that high C in the LH I still think you should stick to one clef for m13-15.
- System spacing: 4+4 rather than 5+3?
Thank you for checking!
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 02, 2024, 05:07:14 AM- m19: I think those 16ths would be better as grace notes, similar to m29
- m23: the RH beat 1 stem can face downwards
- System spacing: 4+4 rather than 5+3?
Updated these things!
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 02, 2024, 05:07:14 AM- m7 & maybe m5: Thoughts on using 2 layers/cross staff for the RH here? The notes on beat 2 sound distinctly softer than the main melody, and that isn't made clear at the moment
I actually did interpret those notes as part of the melody and think it makes sense to keep it this way. Hard to tell with piano solo pieces like this, though.
Quote from: XiaoMigros on January 02, 2024, 05:07:14 AM- I'm not so fond of the clef changes in the LH; if you'd prefer not to write that high C in the LH I still think you should stick to one clef for m13-15.
Not my favorite option either, but C is too high above bass clef for me and I'd really like to keep the D in bass clef as well. (I'm second-guessing my decision to keep the D in bass clef in m. 8 of Fragile Fantasy since I misread it half the time.) Cross-staffing isn't an option here since the RH is 8va, and I don't want to put an 8va over the left hand either. I think it's easy enough to read as-is.
Those are all valid points! I have nothing else to add, so I'll accept :)
This submission has been accepted by XiaoMigros (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6725).
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