Submission Information:
Series: Professor Layton
Game: Professor Layton and the Curious Village
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: The Great Don Paolo
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop (http://forum.ninsheetm.us/index.php?action=profile;u=1023)
[attachment deleted by admin]
I LIKE this song! Sounds like a tarantella. Wish the instrumentation was a little more creative, but eh, it adapts easy to piano from the look of things, so I ain't complaining.
1.) A few spelling fixes:
~ Measure 4 - D# should be Eb, then naturalized on beat 4. Fb and Db should be E and C#.
~ Measure 6 - D# --> Eb (except in measure 4, those all stay D# [so therefore change the Eb to D# in the beat 4 of the RH]); Cb --> B (in fact, the lower voice of beat 4 in the RH really should be a 2nd layer in octave unison with the bass, but you can keep it how it is, just respelling the Cb to B); Ab --> G#
~ Measure 8 - D# --> Eb (use a cautionary accidental on the E natural of the R.H.)
~ Measure 10 - D# --> Eb; The top note of beat 2 is actually an Eb, not a D - very important. Respell Gb --> F# (beat 3-4)
~ Measure 14 - Cb --> B; Eb --> D# (in beat 4 RH chord only)
2.) Aesthetic enhancements:
~ In measures 15-18, you use accents to, well, accent, the first notes of the triplet runs. I think, instead, you should use double stems, like so:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2FDonPaolocorrections_zps6e3c18b4.jpg&hash=9d1e006d4ba40f82d0d314255a88759ef879a9db) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/DonPaolocorrections_zps6e3c18b4.jpg.html)
(You would, of course, NOT do this on m. 27-28 and 31-32)
3.) Arranging:
~ You could have so much fun on the D minor section at m. 33! But, right now, it sounds really empty. How about adapting the open fifth D-A rhythm lines into a homophony with the melody? Here's one idea:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2FDonPaolocorrections2_zpsd289687d.jpg&hash=6054c74b343e73311c2a6f421765421b3037cfa3) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/DonPaolocorrections2_zpsd289687d.jpg.html)
~ The chords on beat 3 of measures 53-59 in the RH are missing the 3rd (F, A, C; E, G#, B; Eb, G, Bb). Fix 'dat.
----------
Digression:
I'm actually not so entirely sure about all the D# to Eb's I recommended, as the D# spelling in the LH ostinato (A, D#, E, [E-F-G#]) actually makes sense in places like m. 18. On the other hand, it's very clear in places like measure 6 that the chord is an EbM7, but yet, on the same measure, the D# spelling becomes more preferable on beat 4. Input?
2.) The double stems look very bad, that might just be my opinion but I've never seen anything in music to suggest double stems. MAYBE if they were dotted quarter notes. Otherwise I think it's a bad idea.
3.) While this idea would fly for an original arrangement, it's unacceptable in the type of transcription that this site creates. If it is not in the original score, it doesn't need to be in the arrangement. Accuracy trumps creativity here and unless I'm misreading something, this is not part of the original piece.
Bravo to you, Bloop, for arranging this! :o
Quote from: SlowPokemon on December 09, 2014, 03:39:05 PM2.) The double stems look very bad, that might just be my opinion but I've never seen anything in music to suggest double stems. MAYBE if they were dotted quarter notes. Otherwise I think it's a bad idea.
From a John Schaum curriculum book:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2F36c04e253a571786263c41126761bc04_zpsb2e6c0a3.jpg&hash=ec15e6890fbb864dcb2dde4ddf13383cd7cf63ef) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/36c04e253a571786263c41126761bc04_zpsb2e6c0a3.jpg.html)
An actual tarantella (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ccyh_f0mgo), to hit closer to home:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2FDonPaolocorrectionsproof_zps7b23ef49.jpg&hash=eaba17c17a705d5c157bcc7ac8b5636e83ed7f3e) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/DonPaolocorrectionsproof_zps7b23ef49.jpg.html)
Although, the examples I've provided above all subscribe to the double stem being of prolonged length - "dotted quarter" as you said. I'm just thinking the next logical step would be if the song is not being played legato and the emphasized note is only a triplet eighth long, then the notation I suggested would be expected.
Quote from: SlowPokemon on December 09, 2014, 03:39:05 PM3.) While this idea would fly for an original arrangement, it's unacceptable in the type of transcription that this site creates. If it is not in the original score, it doesn't need to be in the arrangement. Accuracy trumps creativity here and unless I'm misreading something, this is not part of the original piece.
My proposal was not to invent something new, but rather to condense already existing material from the song that was omitted from Bloop's arrangement, namely, the 2nd layer in the RH below:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2FDonPaolocorrectionsproof2_zps7b8753c5.jpg&hash=a77e2a62f47514a21ecc21aafe543e86a08cb07b) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/DonPaolocorrectionsproof2_zps7b8753c5.jpg.html)
The 2nd voice does exist. For the sake of Bloop's arrangement though, I thought playing it in monophony would be less intimidating, though personally I would opt for glorious syncopation above. Ultimately, the ball is in his court, not mine.
(And I hope this doesn't sound like me trying to "butt heads" - I learned my lesson from last time (http://forum.ninsheetm.us/index.php?topic=4846.360), haha!)
Check out the second movement of Rachmaninoff's 2nd Piano Concerto. The 6/4 over 12/8 feel is not notated with with accents, but with double stemming.
It's just a different way of considering the structure of the music. Is there a melody comprised of the notes on each beat at the top of each arpeggio (with the remaining notes forming an accompanying/embellishing role)? Or is it just one line with accents falling on the beats?
I'll have some time to look over this later, but;
Quote from: Deku Trombonist on December 09, 2014, 10:11:51 PMIs there a melody comprised of the notes on each beat at the top of each arpeggio (with the remaining notes forming an accompanying/embellishing role)? Or is it just one line with accents falling on the beats?
Just one line with accents, but arguably, the accents give away some melody, right?
I dunno, that's up to you to decide. I was just posing the question and elaborating on what Bespinben was saying.
Sounds cool!
Quote from: Bespinben on December 09, 2014, 02:22:11 PM~ Measure 4 - D# should be Eb, then naturalized on beat 4.
(...)
Digression:
I'm actually not so entirely sure about all the D# to Eb's I recommended, as the D# spelling in the LH ostinato (A, D#, E, [E-F-G#]) actually makes sense in places like m. 18. On the other hand, it's very clear in places like measure 6 that the chord is an EbM7, but yet, on the same measure, the D# spelling becomes more preferable on beat 4. Input?
I prefer the D# in the right hand to be as they are, because of their dissonance and because of readability. Also, measure 6 could just right be a Gm/D# chord, right?
Quote from: Bespinben on December 09, 2014, 02:22:11 PM~ Measure 6 - D# --> Eb (except in measure 4, those all stay D# [so therefore change the Eb to D# in the beat 4 of the RH]); Cb --> B (in fact, the lower voice of beat 4 in the RH really should be a 2nd layer in octave unison with the bass, but you can keep it how it is, just respelling the Cb to B); Ab --> G#
~ Measure 10 - D# --> Eb; The top note of beat 2 is actually an Eb, not a D - very important. Respell Gb --> F# (beat 3-4)
~ Measure 14 - Cb --> B; Eb --> D# (in beat 4 RH chord only)
Fixed!
Quote from: Bespinben on December 09, 2014, 02:22:11 PM~ In measures 15-18, you use accents to, well, accent, the first notes of the triplet runs. I think, instead, you should use double stems, like so:
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1111.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh475%2FBespinben%2FDonPaolocorrections_zps6e3c18b4.jpg&hash=9d1e006d4ba40f82d0d314255a88759ef879a9db) (http://s1111.photobucket.com/user/Bespinben/media/DonPaolocorrections_zps6e3c18b4.jpg.html)
(You would, of course, NOT do this on m. 27-28 and 31-32)
I agree (it doesn't look weird imo), so done! (there's a fun little advanced tool for this ;3). Also fixed the chords!
Quote from: Bespinben on December 09, 2014, 02:22:11 PM~ You could have so much fun on the D minor section at m. 33! But, right now, it sounds really empty. How about adapting the open fifth D-A rhythm lines into a homophony with the melody?
How about this? (see files)
Double post: I forgot to remove a few accents and a few double stemmed notes, so I fixed that!
I gotta get out of this habit of pulling out of reviewing right when the process is nearly done.
Great job. Love the new m.33+ section. Accepted.
This submission has been accepted by Bespinben (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=2510).
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