1. What's a pig's favorite form of Algebra?
Hogarithms
2. What do you call a scab on a T-rex?
A dinosore
3. What do you call it when a pig kills itself?
Sooie-cide
See if you can think of some more ;)
I love corny jokes! they ALWAYS make me laugh for some odd reason.
What do you call an insect that can tell time?
A clockroach
Too bad all corny jokes I know are in spanish :/
Can you translate them, or would it not make any sense in English?
Quote from: Dude on June 08, 2008, 04:39:09 PMCan you translate them, or would it not make any sense in English?
Doubt they make sense in english.
Example A:
Spanish: ¿Qué es un cabrón? Una cabra muy grande
English: What's a Big Goat? A big goat
Goat = Cabra
Big goat = Cabrón
Cabrón is actually a swear word in spanish, but big goat is not by itself (Although people might take it as an insult anyways). The joke works in the way that the question makes the user believe that you're swearing, while, in fact, you're not.
Example B:
Spanish: ¿Qué es un camarón? Una cámara muy grande.
English: What's a shrimp? A big camera.
Camera = Cámara
Shrimp = Camarón
As you can see, this one makes absolutely no sense in english, because a shrimp and a camera are absolutely different things. But in spanish, the question makes the other person believe that the camarón is an animal, but then realize it's, in fact, an aumentative of camera.
So yeah. I'll be watching this thread rather than contributing to it.
What did the Mexican Fireman Name his 2 Sons?
José and Hose B
Quote from: DaveyTheRebel on June 08, 2008, 05:03:56 PMHosé and Hose B
That would be
José. ::)
Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A: A little hoarse.
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear.
Q: What's black and looks like a dog?
A: A black dog.
Funny you mention it. My first first name is José. :P
Quote from: Egnio on June 08, 2008, 09:15:49 PMFunny you mention it. My first first name is José. :P
lol
Anyway:
Q: What color is a burp?
A: Burple!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE :P
i know a perverted Gandhi version of this joke might be offensive
Q:Why did Gandhi cross the road?
A:To ask his son for what his price was
You see one of Gandhi's sons was a prostitute because he hated his dad and his liberty fights he resented Gandhi :o
Quote from: Egnio on June 08, 2008, 09:15:49 PMMy first first name is José. :P
On a shtiiiick? :P
Q: What does a bum call a dumpster.
A: Bed and Breakfast.
EVERY "Thats what she said" JOKE!!!!
(well, some are still pretty funny but i had this friend who kinda ruiened it 4 me by using it WAY TOO MUCH!!!)
Why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie? Because is was rated "Arrr!" XD
What do you call a Frozen Father?
A Pop-Sicle!
Why did a fly travel with the chicken to the other side?
The chicken crossing the road never took a bath!
How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change first.
*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*
OOOO, i have so many, but they are all not good. as in i can't post them on teh forum. Their not perverted, its jus that they are plain wrong.
dont worry gooch
i posted my gandhi one :P
PUNS:
It is GRAPE to see you
LETTUCE go to the movies
ok, thats pretty bad, so i guess i can tell some hellen keller jokes. But first, is anyone related to/takes offense to blind/deaf jokes? If so, simply don't finish this post.
Q: How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
A: They moved the furniture.
I'll post some more if you want, they'll be a little worse, though. especially one that im thinking of.
Ok, these are extremely random. i heard them from my cousin:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why did the bird fall out of the tree?
Because it was stapled to the monkey!
why did the chicken cross the street?
to get away from KFC.
(i do this next one all the time at school)
guess what i was doing the other night.
YOUR MOM!
lol
What's a tree's fav. drink?
Rootbeer
What medicine do crocodiles drink?
Gator-aid!
Why did your mom cross the street?
Who cares, why did she leave the kitchen? ;D
Bartender: Welcome to "Little John's"! What draft would you like, or would you care to drink our special today?
Man: What would your special happen to be?
Bartender: The Sherwood, it consists of our finest hops, gin, tonic, and raspberry essence along with a few of our own secrets.
Man: Hmm, so it's called the Sherwood?
Bartender: You would be correct, would you like one?
Man: Sure would.
Bartender: That is correct, would you like one?
Man: Sure Would
Bartender: (growing impatient) Yes, sir, that is correct, would you like one?
Man: Sure would
Bartender: You know what, fix your own drink, i can't handel stupid people who cannot handle the name Sherwood!
Man: (Slightly confused) Ok, then.
Why would you not tell a joke on thin ice?
CAUSE IT WILL CRACK UP!
What kind of jokes do corn like?
CORNY JOKES
this one is a bit texas oriented, being the joke of rivalry between the Texas A&M Aggies versus the University of Texas Longhorns and this doesnt make sense a lot but..
FYI:
AGGIES=A&M goers
LONGHORNS=UT goers
There was a plane falling quickly. On the plane there was a pilot, 10 aggies, and a longhorn.
The plane was too heavy so the pilot said, "The plane is too heavy, throw off the luggage"
So they did. Then the pilot said, "It's still too heavy, hang on to the ceiling and kick off the floor," so somehow they kicked off the floor and hung on to the ceiling. Again the pilot said, "The plane is still too heavy, someone jump off" And then the longhorn said "I will jump off!"
And then all the aggies clapped.
I only know catch phrases or what ever they are called (Don't even start :P)
example: If you were a laser you'd be set to stunning (haha?)
Hmm, pickup lines. ok, i have one
"Hey baby, do you have a mirror in your pocket, cuz i can see myself in your pants!"
Okay, that's just wrong. :(
err...... gooch
that just gave me a bad mental image :P
A husband and wife are divorcing, so the husband decides to clean out the attic, get rid of his memories with her. So he finds a lamp, he dust it off and then **POOF** a Genie comes out. So he's like, wtf? So the conversation starts:
Genie: "I will grant you 3 wishes, but there's a catch... w/e you get, you're now x-wife will get double."
Guy: Okay, give me a big ranch in montana!
So **POOF** the guy gets a huge ranch in montana, but then **POOF POOF** the x-wife gets 2 huge ranches in montana. Next:
Guy: Okay, now i want 1 billion dollars!
So **POOF** the guy gets 1 billion, but then **POOF POOF** the x-wife gets 2 billion dollars. So finally:
Guy: Okay, now beat me half to death!
You figure out the rest...
Quote from: B-Kpianist on June 26, 2008, 09:14:05 PMA husband and wife are divorcing, so the husband decides to clean out the attic, get rid of his memories with her. So he finds a lamp, he dust it off and then **POOF** a Genie comes out. So he's like, wtf? So the conversation starts:
Genie: "I will grant you 3 wishes, but there's a catch... w/e you get, you're now x-wife will get double."
Guy: Okay, give me a big ranch in montana!
So **POOF** the guy gets a huge ranch in montana, but then **POOF POOF** the x-wife gets 2 huge ranches in montana. Next:
Guy: Okay, now i want 1 billion dollars!
So **POOF** the guy gets 1 billion, but then **POOF POOF** the x-wife gets 2 billion dollars. So finally:
Guy: Okay, now beat me half to death!
You figure out the rest...
fix'd
he wouldn't dare...
whoops hehe- sry bout that :D