Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Petal Meadows
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Bloop (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=1023)
I'll take a look at this one later. Here is the original:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZ1f6BEkn_g
Great work!
Some stuff:
- It sounds kinda dead from measures 1-6. Isn't there a harmony part along with the melody?
- Right-align the composer and arranger names.
- Center-align the copyright info and title/game name.
Nice work, again! Great to finally get all these TTYD arrangements on :P
Yo I've got you man. I'll be here with stuffz when I've got some time, TTYD for life.
Intro:
-You've got the rhythm of the bass wrong, it's 16th -> 8th -> 16th -> 8th ->16th ->16th for the first half of each measure.
-There's voice in there playing E's and F's to the same rhythm as the bass, consider including this along with the bass.
-The intro has a "build up" that you're lacking. It adds a voice every 2 measures and while it would be ridiculously unplayable if you tried including them all, you gotta do something to capture this feel.
Measure 3-4: Adds a voice imitating the melody but one inversion up.
Measure 5-6: The voice with the E's and F's goes from single notes to chords.
Measure 7: Everything in the right hand moves up an inversion. Those perfect thirds you have aren't really there.
Quote from: mariolegofan on September 21, 2015, 11:21:21 AM- Right-align the composer and arranger names.
- Center-align the copyright info and title/game name.
That shouldn't have been a problem, I think. It was like that for me all the time
Quote from: FireArrow on September 26, 2015, 05:12:52 PMIntro:
that damn intro man
I kinda played around with it. Instead of adding a voice an inversion up, I decided to do an inversion down, so the main melody is still on top. I added the E's and F's in the bass in m. 5-7 to capture a bit of that chord feel.
I also added a few more dynamics for the different contrasts in the song.
Quote from: Bloop on September 27, 2015, 05:11:01 AMI kinda played around with it. Instead of adding a voice an inversion up, I decided to do an inversion down, so the main melody is still on top. I added the E's and F's in the bass in m. 5-7 to capture a bit of that chord feel.
I also added a few more dynamics for the different contrasts in the song.
If you wanna put it below the melody then just transcribe the second voice and move it an octave down so you still have the correct notes. BTW the pattern for the E's and F's is E-E-E-F-E-F-E.
Also get rid of Pno. markings!!
(In your other sub too.)
Oh, and change this to a replacement.
Quote from: FireArrow on September 27, 2015, 11:57:02 AMIf you wanna put it below the melody then just transcribe the second voice and move it an octave down so you still have the correct notes. BTW the pattern for the E's and F's is E-E-E-F-E-F-E.
That doesn't sound as similar and it's more annoying to play, so I'll keep it at that. Fixed the E-F stuff though
Quote from: Latios212 on October 10, 2015, 05:40:47 PMAlso get rid of Pno. markings!!
(In your other sub too.)
Fixed!
Quote from: Latios212 on October 10, 2015, 05:40:47 PMOh, and change this to a replacement.
For some reason, I can't change the submission to a replacement. I suppose I'll need to delete this one and make a new one