Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Games
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Synchronized Swimming
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Altissimo (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3843)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Let's go, eh?
Okay... few things to say on this.
-At a variety of points, I'm not always sure about the harmonies I included - whether they're right, or whether certain notes are present. A thorough harmony check might be the most important thing for this...
-Quite a bit of octave shuffling in 2nd layers for playability.
-Octaves at m. 61-64; anywhere near doable at this speed with one hand?
-any corrections/ideas for m. 81-84 appreciated lmao that bit kinda tripped me up more than a bit
m. 85-86 have a second layer but idk if it's worth putting in alongside sixteenth runs at that speed
-THIS IS MY FAVORITE TRACK FROM THE GAME SO TREAT IT CAREFULLY OK
that fell quickly. 2nd page bump
anybody
anybody
bueller
-composer/arranger names need to be right-aligned
-you've got a lot of space at the bottom of the first page, and not a lot of space at the top. Mind equaling that out?
-imo it would sound better and make more sense when playing the LH of measures like 14 if you left out the bass on beat three. It occurs quite often.
-Slur in mm. 41 RH is messed up, you'll need to recreate it.
-mm. 51 and 59 could use a big courtesy B natural in both hands on beat one.
-LH mm. 92-93 should definitely be down an octave. Even in octaves, if you want, but the lower octave is what is present in the original.
-mm. 39-40 RH sextuplets: my recommendation would be to leave one of the voices out, lest you would like the pianist to interpret that as a glissando. If you do want a gliss there, write a gliss instead!
Quote from: Olimar12345 on January 06, 2016, 06:41:23 PM-composer/arranger names need to be right-aligned
According to my document they are/were right-aligned. Do they still look off?
I edited everything else though.
How is it musically apart from these things?
Quote from: Altissimo on January 06, 2016, 07:06:18 PMAccording to my document they are/were right-aligned. Do they still look off?
They look good now. They were only off by a tad anyway.
Quote from: Altissimo on January 06, 2016, 07:06:18 PMHow is it musically apart from these things?
Musically it is arranged well. Just a few more things to address:
-I'd recommend some dynamic contrast. perhaps forte-fortissimo for the introduction, then have it drop down to mezzo forte at the first strain (m. 5). I would definitely write in a crescendo through mm. 81-86, then put fortissimo for the ending.
-61-64 (RH) hardly seems playable in octaves at that tempo. Perhaps pick the more prominent octave and omit the other one?
And some more formatting stuff:
-The slurs are covering up the staccato's in measures 5, 14, 34, 41, and 42
Quote from: Olimar12345 on January 06, 2016, 06:41:23 PM-Slur in mm. 41 RH is messed up, you'll need to recreate it.
-Lower the composer/arranger names to be below the game title, as it appears in the guidelines (since you have plenty of room to work with on that page).
Better?
Better. Try this out, though:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/59554832/nsm/NSM%20subs/-Synchronized%20Swimming-4.mus
Better indeed. Replaced.
cool.
This submission has been accepted by Olimar12345 (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=83).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot