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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Submission Archive => Topic started by: Zeta on January 24, 2016, 08:18:04 PM

Title: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: Zeta on January 24, 2016, 08:18:04 PM
Submission Information:

Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby's Dream Land
Console: Game Boy
Title: Ending Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: AwesomeYears (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4343)

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: AwesomeYears on January 25, 2016, 12:47:59 AM

AWESOMEYEARS IS BACK BABY!

I've got a couple more songs up my sleeve for next week ;) So be prepared!
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: Tobbeh99 on January 25, 2016, 09:55:43 AM
Good to see you back!

However your sheet still needs some editing. You have removed some notes to make it more playable, but I unfortunately don't think it's enough. For example playing C-C+E-C is quite difficult and not so pianistic. I think it's either-or situation, either you use the 16th arpeggio or the 8th bass notes.

Your sheet had also other problems, wrong notes, formatting, so I took some time fixing your mus. and here it is: [ZIP] (https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/24842881/Ending%20Theme.zip)

preview
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F8UBan6q.jpg&hash=c489184f45dbcd4e372d02ee23d6fef280c3bf84)  (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FhBnFlqN.jpg&hash=192cfecdac2edfc6eaf01dcd3ce442c58ee10f84)
[close]

Feel free to use the file and edit it as you please. It has proper formatting so you get that out of the way.
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: Latios212 on January 25, 2016, 10:34:00 AM
Hey, looking much better, thanks Tobbeh! :)

More feedback:
- Game title is "Kirby's Dream Land".
- Copyright needs to be center aligned, and slash added at the end of the URL; quotation marks on the page 2 title. (Sorry, nitpicky formatting things.)
- Lower the page number on page 2.
- Tempo is 150, not 140.
- I think the piece would look nicer with 3-measure systems for the majority of the sheet (4 at the end like right now works fine). More compact, without being too cramped.
- Left hand dynamics aren't really necessary, since it's always implied to bring out the melody (and right now, they're only present in the first few measures anyway). What's more, I would recommend removing the dynamics in measure 2 entirely, as some articulation would suffice just fine.
- The C in RH, at the end of measure 8 only plays on the second repeat so I'd recommend tweaking the repeat system as such.
- Use a D.S. at the end (similar to this sheet (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2834)).

Quote from: AwesomeYears on January 25, 2016, 12:47:59 AMAWESOMEYEARS IS BACK BABY!

I've got a couple more songs up my sleeve for next week ;) So be prepared!
WOOOOO
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: AwesomeYears on January 26, 2016, 02:30:11 AM
The things I've done:
- Game title is "Kirby's Dream Land".
- Copyright needs to be center aligned, and slash added at the end of the URL; quotation marks on the page 2 title. (Sorry, nitpicky formatting things.)
- Lower the page number on page 2.
- Tempo is 150, not 140.
- I think the piece would look nicer with 3-measure systems for the majority of the sheet (4 at the end like right now works fine). More compact, without being too cramped.
- Left hand dynamics aren't really necessary, since it's always implied to bring out the melody (and right now, they're only present in the first few measures anyway). What's more, I would recommend removing the dynamics in measure 2 entirely, as some articulation would suffice just fine.
- The C in RH, at the end of measure 8 only plays on the second repeat so I'd recommend tweaking the repeat system as such.
- Use a D.S. at the end (similar to this sheet (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2834)).

The things I haven't done are because I'm poor.
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: Tobbeh99 on January 26, 2016, 03:01:17 AM
Quote from: Latios212 on January 25, 2016, 10:34:00 AM- I think the piece would look nicer with 3-measure systems for the majority of the sheet (4 at the end like right now works fine). More compact, without being too cramped.
- Use a D.S. at the end (similar to this sheet (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2834)).

I'm not sure if 3 measures/system is better. Since it has a hypermeter of 4 measure (or 2, idk.), with 2 measure/system I think it matches the phrases better. Take a look at this similar sheet (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2488) which has 2 measure/system.

Also I don't see a problem with the "Go To Measure 3", I mean you could use DS instead, but does it needs to be fixed?
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: AwesomeYears on January 30, 2016, 02:55:02 PM
Can someone fix up the things I haven't done plz?
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: Latios212 on March 18, 2016, 02:02:40 PM
I gotcha.
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: AwesomeYears on March 18, 2016, 04:39:17 PM
Thanks mate.
Title: Re: [GB] Kirby's Dream Land - "Ending Theme" by AwesomeYears
Post by: Zeta on March 18, 2016, 05:11:16 PM
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot