Submission Information:
Series: EarthBound
Game: EarthBound
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Your Name, Please
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Yug Guy (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4424)
[attachment deleted by admin]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DzACWPlEF0
For the sake of this arrangement, I've omitted the Monty Python sample at the beginning. Here's a version without that part:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eaq8Jw6_H0M
Cool
- Again, you're missing the indent. Perhaps in the future, you could copy and paste your arrangement onto a template file that has an indent (along with more expressions and articulations)
- Why do you have staccatos on tied notes? Just use rests
- Moved the crescendo in m9 down, and fixed some rests
- You could use a grace note to try and emulate the bends (like in m4)
- There are some harmonies missing in the first 8 measures, but some of it wouldn't be playable because of the stretches anyways so I guess it doesn't matter
- m9 LH first eighth note sounds like an Ab
- m19-26 are actually swung eighths instead of straight quarter notes, you're missing the hamony part, and the D should be a Db m19 beat 3 (and beat 4 of m20), and an Eb m20 beat 4
- I was really confused at m27, but then I realized you got the LH part from the first video. In any case, you're missing some harmonies in the LH part
- I think a D.C. would fit better
[Folder] (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/6k0ra3k55e7ukrn/AADxfs1wgx_circe65COtuFya?dl=0) If you disagree with any of the changes, feel free to discard/edit accordingly (note that there are some things I didn't change)
Quote from: Zeila on April 27, 2016, 03:33:30 PMAgain, you're missing the indent. Perhaps in the future, you could copy and paste your arrangement onto a template file that has an indent
I've been manually changing the xml files when transferring from Musescore to Finale. I've been using the NSM Template, which has an indent, so I'm surprised this has been happening. I'll definitely look into that for next time.
Quote from: Zeila on April 27, 2016, 03:33:30 PMIn any case, you're missing some harmonies in the LH part[/li][/list]
I can't quite hear what you're referring to. Am I just missing fifths or something?
Anyways, thank you so much for that! OP updated.
Cool sheet! Only two things I have to say on formatting:
-Your metronome marking could be simpler. I'll suggest something like what I used in my recent "Nimbasa City" (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2919) sheet as a model.
-If we could see the numbers for the first and second endings, I think that would be simply phenomenal.
-Measure 4, Beats 1-3, RH, Layer 1: Get rid of the tie and make it a dotted half note.
-I'd suggest just a little more spacing around the staves with the 8va marking. In particular the first system on the second page is quite crammed and you have room at the bottom of the page to slide everything down.
-Some engraving cultures require a double bar line on those bar lines that end a system in which the next system begins with an opened repeat sign. As an example here, that would mean you would need a double bar line at the end of measures 9, 18, and 34. It's not necessarily necessary by my standards even let alone NSM, but it's something for you to consider. Whether you decide to implement it or not.
Quote from: Yug_Guy on April 27, 2016, 04:02:31 PMI can't quite hear what you're referring to. Am I just missing fifths or something?
It's should be chords (I think some notes may just be unison or thirds though)
Quote from: Yug_Guy on April 27, 2016, 04:02:31 PMAnyways, thank you so much for that! OP updated.
Np!
Quote from: JDMEK5 on April 27, 2016, 09:49:18 PMCool sheet! Only two things I have to say on formatting:
-Your metronome marking could be simpler. I'll suggest something like what I used in my recent "Nimbasa City" (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2919) sheet as a model.
-If we could see the numbers for the first and second endings, I think that would be simply phenomenal.
-Measure 4, Beats 1-3, RH, Layer 1: Get rid of the tie and make it a dotted half note. Done
-I'd suggest just a little more spacing around the staves with the 8va marking. In particular the first system on the second page is quite crammed and you have room at the bottom of the page to slide everything down. Done
-Some engraving cultures require a double bar line on those bar lines that end a system in which the next system begins with an opened repeat sign. As an example here, that would mean you would need a double bar line at the end of measures 9, 18, and 34. It's not necessarily necessary by my standards even let alone NSM, but it's something for you to consider. Whether you decide to implement it or not.
I tried fiddling around with the xml code, and the only one of those suggestions I was able to implement was the spacing of the 8va systems. Otherwise, I can't implement any of those other ones since Notepad won't allow me, and I can't figure out how to do it in xml.
Quote from: Zeila on April 27, 2016, 09:56:06 PMIt's should be chords (I think some notes may just be unison or thirds though)
Huh. I keep hearing different instruments playing the same note. Of course, I suck at identifying chords, so that's probably the reason why. OP updated.
bump
- One thing that always bugs me is the use of staccato'd dotted notes (both visually and from the standpoint of someone reading). There's a clear pause in between the first two bass notes, so use a rest there.
- Dotted half notes will make page 2 look neater.
- In measures 8 and 9 the stems are overlapping the repeat numbers a little bit. If that's a hassle for you I or someone else can get that for you.
OP updated with the changes.
Bump?
le bump
If it's feedback you want, then it's feedback you'll get.
-First of all, that second layer in the first 8 (or 9) measures is actually thirds.
-Also, you may want to combine layers in m8-9 just to avoid the note stem collisions.
-You might want to put a crescendo in the treble clef somewhere for the fade-in. A smartshape might not fit above the staff, but you could use a dynamic instead (the text cresc.)
-Nothing until m27. I'd suggest changing clefs in 27-34 to stick the RH in the LH so you can get that other voice in before switching back to the baseline in 35-39
-Some grace notes wouldn't hurt.
-Earthbound is spelled EarthBound
-Since I said some stuff that you can't do with notepad, I'll just give you the files here (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/qsgnyh3cw4qy6xo/AADBkinDw6GvpP_HMEnUYeF2a?dl=0)
A few other msc changes like the page margin have been done.
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 04, 2016, 08:04:54 PMIf it's feedback you want, then it's feedback you'll get.
...
Since I said some stuff that you can't do with notepad, I'll just give you the files here (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/qsgnyh3cw4qy6xo/AADBkinDw6GvpP_HMEnUYeF2a?dl=0)
A few other msc changes like the page margin have been done.
Thanks for the feedback! Links have been updated. Any other suggestions?
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot