Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Super Mystery Dungeon
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Tree of Life: Roots
Instrumentation Two Pianos
Arrangers: InsigTurtle (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3687) & braixen1264 (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3791)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blge4fEHzoo
Braixen1264 and InsigTurtle - PSMD: "Tree of Life - Roots".
I've already told braixen how amazed I was when I first heard this arrangement. I went to listen to the original, then I went to check out a bunch of other PSMD tracks, and I concluded that I was definitely bookmarking the series for future reading and listening. Everything was frikkin' beautiful. All of it. Dang.
Right, quick review notes without listening:
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Did a little mental reading of the score! What immediately strikes me is that both parts are written such that they are really easy to learn. In the sense that most notes are within reach of an octave, there are no evil twists and turns, the score sticks to one part per stave/hand most of the time, and in general both players do not need to pick up too many techniques to effectively pull this off. It's great when a score this simple sounds really good even in MIDI form, so that's awesome! :)
b. 1-8 looks innocent, but I think it's genius. Dang. The melody sinks beautifully below the ostinato and supports the harmony at the same time. It works. I can hear the heaviness of the melody already, and it's really nice.
Minor complaint with b. 5-8 though. It's the unison between the left-hand parts of both pianos. If the two pianos are perfectly tuned then the unison note is twice as loud, which is bad but impossible. Pianos tend to be a little out of tune from each other, so we get smearing. And that doesn't really work too.
That being said, smearing comes out really bad on long notes in medium to big halls, but it's okay-ish in most other places, so I guess you can leave it if you want. I actually semi-mainly write for strings hehe, so unison between independent parts is the ultimate no-go for many reasons aaand I guess I'm kinda trained to spot unison out of nowhere.
Rambled a bit haha, but just a tip! ^^
Pno II b. 9-12 should sound fantastic. I hear the distortions in my mind. Ooh. I love it <3
b. 13-20 sounds fantastic in my head. The soaring melody and the interweaving with the counters are nice. Aaah, sounds too good to be true. I'll go give it a proper listen soon, hehe.
There's no need to modulate in b. 21-26. Pretty certain about that. The G-flats are a flattened second that
Aha! Caught a personal assumption there and I decided to keep that little segment just because it highlights that you're awesome for figuring this out. Nope, this section is definitely in B-flat minor. Great catch there :)
I definitely agree with your beaming for b. 29 on. I would definitely conduct this in six, and this makes it more obvious. Buuuut hmm. Someone might disagree with me. Just putting that out there. I like it, but maybe there's a hidden theory rule that prohibits this; idk haha.
I think you should keep b. 29 on in F minor though. It's unquestionably F Dorian, so yeah. Modal rules apply.
Most of the rest of the piece is a psuedo-repeat in some way, so yeah! Same things apply :)
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It's a fantastic, simple arrangement. Nothing much to complain about really, hehe.
I think I'm going to open myself to trying this out. Will let it simmer in my head for a while, hehe. Hey, new project, whee~
Some words on look and layout:
- You've got a great arrangement, but it looks a little clunky. You have tons of space at the bottom of each page, but the 16th notes are horizontally squished. Try sizing the pages down to 90% to give the 16ths more breathing space and fit 3 systems per page.
- Reposition your dynamics in 8-9, 12, etc. They're a little uncentered/out of place.
- LH rests are missing in 9 for some reason.
- You can condense the tied eighths in 15 and similar.
- Why aren't the grouped eighth notes in 31, 33, etc. beamed like in 36-37?
- Avoid having a stretched one-measure system at the end.
- That ffff in the last measure seems a bit extreme, especially since there's no crescendo leading into it (and it's not like the original track suddenly explodes in volume either).
- took out the unison notes in 5-8
- fixed the key signatures
- re-positioned some dynamics, might have misunderstood
- added the rests in measure 9
- fixed some of the beaming in the 6/8 section
- I could condense it, but it just feels a lot easier to read like that, at least personally
- changed size to 85%, made the last measures fit to four to get rid of the stretched measure
- changed the last dynamic from ffff to ff and added a crescendo leading up to it
- Double bar line before m30.
- Delete "Pno." from the labels on the systems (and consequently, shrink the left margin a bit since you'll have more space there).
- I second Latios' suggestion to condense the tied eighths; I rarely, if ever, see them notated like they are here, and it looks a bit misleading to me. I think quarter notes would be clearer.
Updated
Bump
Whelp, it appears that I need to tell you that you're missing the trumpets from measure 48 onward once again :P
Sorry for telling you about these trumpets, I just can't live without it :P
Anyways, I've decided to add them in myself! Two things to take note of:
1) I put it an octave lower than written as it's the only space it will fit.
2) I didn't check to see if it interferes with the right hand, so you'll have to check that.
[Mus] (http://www.mediafire.com/download/fyrgv6e4r24dl4z/treeofliferoots_twopiano%281%29.mus)
Thanks!
You're welcome!
Just personally speaking, I just feel like it sounds a little out of place so I'd rather keep it out.
But maybe it's just me, so if anyone else can voice their opinion that'd be nice
Yeah, I guess it is kinda out of place.
bump
bump
well um, braix and i did this live and it worked so
Sometimes I just need a good kick in the pants*
*That means ask me on Skype although I will be quite surprised if you suddenly show up right in front of me
Actually though as with any PMD arrangement I wait for Ben's input as he knows the soundtracks in and out and can probably offer more insightful feedback. That said, I know the wait's getting a little ridiculous so we'll just roll if we don't hear from him soon.
Ridiculous waits, huh.
*cries in Spanish (with a Canadian accent)*
Quote from: dajwxp on October 23, 2016, 09:49:51 PMwell um, braix and i did this live and it worked so
Yes but there's still room for improvement ^^
As promised:
- Missing "II" aside second staff.
- Missing "and" in composer list
- Dynamics: I disagree with your use in 7-9. The sixteenth note layer does not increase in volume, and is definitely not "f"-worthy in 9+. The cresc. and f would be applicable to the top piano; perhaps move them there. I would suggest double checking use of dynamics throughout the whole sheet as well, just to be sure. Also check where your cresc/dims collide with barlines.
- M. 10 piano 1 sounds like a single note Ab.
- M. 13-20 RH of Piano 2 would look nicer in bass clef.
- Eighth notes not beams in 37? Any reason why p is to the left of the barline?
- Check keys throughout the song - 21-26 are in a different keysig than the preceding 13-20 despite them just being having the same melody and chords...
- M. 30-35: parallel thirds: Ab under the C in piano 1 RH
- M. 38-41: no articulations on the repeated chords?
Apologies for taking so long. This is really a splendid sheet!
been working on this with Insig, almost done
I'm gonna have to call this one off before it becomes 1 year old. Will update it in the meantime before reposting!