Submission Information:
Series: The Legend of Zelda
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Final Battle: Malladus
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: NocturneOfShadow (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3752)
I'm submitting this a bit earlier than I should so that I can put more effort into the arrangement contest, which I'd rather be doing atm.
Also wow them fours in the post time
Nice arrangement! :)
Some feedback:
General things: -Use layer 2 for lower notes and layer 1 for higher notes. It is designed that way, and it'll make you sheet look way better and less messy as the notes won't collide.
-You have to show beat 3 in 4/4. So all the times where you a measure like quarter-half note-quarter, you have to change those into quarter-quarter-tie-quarter-quarter.
Formatting: -Make some space between the Title and the "composed by .." text. You can also drag all the systems on the first page down a bit. You could also move the tempo text a bit up, since it collides with the fermata.
Music: -Measure 1: The E-major chord should be in the first inversion, aka have G# as a top note and G# as a bottom note.
-You've missed important harmony notes in measures 3-7. Notably the G# in measure 3 which is the maj7 in the chord of the measure, Amaj7.
Here's an example of how the first 2 systems can look like after you fixed the problems I mentioned:
Spoiler
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F4NUIXEq.jpg&hash=d70f63ef2c5bafbe47729fcf856bb5fb9a609c13)
-I think it's better to have the key change in M.50 after the 16ths run, and also with a double bar-line.
Spoiler
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FxMsa3Eh.jpg&hash=acb8a6882b2654a7a3a42c0441e7487d95f0adc9)
-Those chords on beat 1 in measures 27 and 31 are too big. Either make them smaller by putting the E one octave higher, or make it as an arppegiated chord (rolled chord).
Spoiler
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F05CTZaP.jpg&hash=3ccba9e8672aaf7b6a8d94a73452b834dbdfa8ec)
Haha yes, finally! I've been anticipating this one for some time now.
First I'll start off with a response to one of Tobbeh's articles:
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on September 01, 2016, 04:32:58 PM-You have to show beat 3 in 4/4. So all the times where you a measure like quarter-half note-quarter, you have to change those into quarter-quarter-tie-quarter-quarter.
Technically yes, he's right according to the book rules. That being said, the real world does allow for some bending of said rules. I would be fine if you had a half note on beat 2 given it wasn't complicating things; since the whole reason for letting it fly in the first place is that it's generally simpler to those who aren't used to seeing a tie over the 3rd beat.
I laughed inside when I saw the tempo marking so good job there.
I'm with Tobbeh on that first note: let's make the highest voice be the melody from the Sacred Duet right before. Actually maybe some kind of text note could be put in to acknowledge the flow and relationship between the two songs. Just a thought.
Tobbeh alluded to this too, but the intro to measure 11 does seem quite empty. Lots of chords could be implemented here besides just raw melodic counterpoint. Also, not to say your notes are wrong but in the RH sometimes I'm hearing different melody from the original than what yours dictates. More on that later.
Measure 11 and on, LH: I feel like slurs could be used very advantageously here. Some two note slurs could really help show the kind of bending and leaning into the notes that comes from the original cellos and basses.
Measure 19, RH: Personally I wouldn't mind seeing some rearticulation of that opening A. It's subtle in the original but is there and it could do wonders for some rhythmic interest.
Oh and I'm going to compliment you on your use of accents in the LH for this entire section for rhythmic purposes. Good call.
Measure 27, RH: Upon this reiteration of the main theme, I would suggest using shorter note values, since the sustain isn't much at all in the original. Also, if you could get those mordents scattered around here that would be awesome too.
Tobbeh also mentioned the proper voice usage (voice 1 going on top). Please implement that.
Key changes need double bar lines.
At measure 35 there is no time change. This will eliminate the need for a tempo change as well as your need later for that 2/4 measure.
Measure 59: I reckon more articulation and harmony for this reiteration of the main theme would be in order. Maybe a higher register? Make it as vastly contrasting from the previous material as possible.
More harmonies at 69 for sure plz.
So in conclusion, more harmonies, general cleanup, some LH notes aren't right, time signatures, double bar lines, and voicings. From there we can go more in depth to a more comprehensive review.
Shouldn't this have the Sacred Duet at the beginning? It's the same song--no clue why ZeldaUniverse's soundtrack splits it up. This is only half an arrangement. What a fantastic song, though!
Quote from: TheZeldaPianist275 on September 02, 2016, 12:16:15 PMShouldn't this have the Sacred Duet at the beginning? It's the same song--no clue why ZeldaUniverse's soundtrack splits it up. This is only half an arrangement.
The program data in the game itself splits them.
That's news to me. Whatever Noc thinks is best, then, I suppose.
M. 45 looks like a key change, I think to C minor (or possibly g minor). Either way, it would help to make the section a lot more readable.
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on September 01, 2016, 04:32:58 PMNice arrangement! :)
Some feedback:
General things:
-Use layer 2 for lower notes and layer 1 for higher notes. It is designed that way, and it'll make you sheet look way better and less messy as the notes won't collide.
-You have to show beat 3 in 4/4. So all the times where you a measure like quarter-half note-quarter, you have to change those into quarter-quarter-tie-quarter-quarter.
Formatting:
-Make some space between the Title and the "composed by .." text. You can also drag all the systems on the first page down a bit. You could also move the tempo text a bit up, since it collides with the fermata.
Music:
-Measure 1: The E-major chord should be in the first inversion, aka have G# as a top note and G# as a bottom note.
-You've missed important harmony notes in measures 3-7. Notably the G# in measure 3 which is the maj7 in the chord of the measure, Amaj7.
Here's an example of how the first 2 systems can look like after you fixed the problems I mentioned:
Spoiler
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F4NUIXEq.jpg&hash=d70f63ef2c5bafbe47729fcf856bb5fb9a609c13)
Also:
-I think it's better to have the key change in M.50 after the 16ths run, and also with a double bar-line.
Spoiler
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FxMsa3Eh.jpg&hash=acb8a6882b2654a7a3a42c0441e7487d95f0adc9)
-Those chords on beat 1 in measures 27 and 31 are too big. Either make them smaller by putting the E one octave higher, or make it as an arppegiated chord (rolled chord).
Spoiler
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F05CTZaP.jpg&hash=3ccba9e8672aaf7b6a8d94a73452b834dbdfa8ec)
Done, with the exception of that half-note rule- are you sure that's a thing? Cause I've always seen syncopation without a tie.
Going to hit up Jd's stuff before updating the files.
I think the half note thing is okay if the rhythm is "simple enough" (I'm not going to define that to avoid writing myself into a corner) but here I'd say it's fine.
and you sir have an awesome tempo marking
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on September 21, 2016, 04:39:06 PMDone, with the exception of that half-note rule- are you sure that's a thing? Cause I've always seen syncopation without a tie.
By the book rules, it must have a tie. By the real life rules, it doesn't because it's so easy to read.
^Yep. No point sticking to the rules if it just complicates things, especially when the whole point of making sheets is to make them as easy to read as possible. If I was in a rehearsal sight reading I'd much rather see quarter-half-quarter.
thanks... uh... "Deky".
Oh, I forgot about that. Ask Dudeman.
Uh, NoS?
Did you forget to update the files?
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on September 21, 2016, 04:39:06 PMDone, with the exception of that half-note rule- are you sure that's a thing? Cause I've always seen syncopation without a tie.
Going to hit up Jd's stuff before updating the files.
no
What about it?
quarter-half-quarter sounded like it was decided upon....
bump
I don't have a lot of time to work on this between working full time and league of legends but rest assured it will get done
Do you mind if I delete it for now and you post it when you're ready?
kind of, yeah
Approximately how soon? It's nearing the 3 month mark and we usually delete around the 2nd. I'm not against it staying here, but I'd like to see it pick up traction soon instead of just sitting here.
well I did just quit my job
oh
._.
Bump?
Uh yeah we'll see
One final bump. If you're not going to get to it soon, I'll archive it, seeing as you haven't touched it since September.
It's nothing personal at all; just think of it as "saving for later".
I'm currently unable to actually do any arranging and my mom doesn't really care. I dunno if I'll actually be able to do any more arranging for a very long time
Alright, I'll store this away for now then. Let me know if you need any help or want me to fix up something or something! Hope everything's alright.