Submission Information:
Series: The Legend of Zelda
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Link's Memories: "Zelda's Awakening"
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Zeila (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4766)
[attachment deleted by admin]
In the sheet I put single quotes inside the quotation marks, but I can change it back
Not a bad sheet. Like the fact that you took the time to use directional expressions like incalzando and such.
Formatting doesn't look too bad. However, in from measure 24 to the end (system 5 - 11), you could probably move the measures a little closer together giving you some room to work with between each pair of staves. Make it less claustrophobic, you know what I mean?
Notes seem fine. But the double set of quarter rests in the first system can go. Hide the second layer and center the first layer quarter rests.
Center the glissando between the bar and the triad in measure 17.
Make sure that none of your expressions are intersecting any barlines, like the crescendo marking in measure 19, or the subito mezzopiano in measure 20.
Make sure the 8va markings are directly over the notes that needed to be shifted up like measure 31, and measure 45 thru 52. They don't need to extend the entire measure, but just over the note. Measure 49 is a good example of this, where you can just place the end of the marking just after the half note, and not extend it to the end of the measure.
So I noticed that there are tempo changes and expressive text. One example is the molto ritardando attached to the top stave in measure 49. I believe this to be incorrect. So I'm attaching examples of various expressions and tempo changes, etc. from Beethoven's first piano sonata. This should help guide you as to where you should place things until you find better examples for your stuff.
(https://i.imgur.com/4FUsmR8.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/l1zQCSC.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/YNvH6Gb.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/XDKHk5o.jpg) (https://i.imgur.com/5Ai7x7t.jpg)
That's it for now, and I'll give it another look once the sheet is updated.
Keep up the good work.
Quote from: Brassman388 on August 23, 2018, 08:42:14 PMMake sure that none of your expressions are intersecting any barlines, like the crescendo marking in measure 19, or the subito mezzopiano in measure 20.
I changed it for everything but the poco a poco cresc. at the beginning because I think it would be weird to shove it to the left and move the dynamic marking up
Quote from: Brassman388 on August 23, 2018, 08:42:14 PMSo I noticed that there are tempo changes and expressive text. One example is the molto ritardando attached to the top stave in measure 49. I believe this to be incorrect. So I'm attaching examples of various expressions and tempo changes, etc. from Beethoven's first piano sonata. This should help guide you as to where you should place things until you find better examples for your stuff.
I moved the ritardandos and incalzando, although idk whether it would be better for the incalzando to be on top of the staff
Quote from: Brassman388 on August 23, 2018, 08:42:14 PMThat's it for now, and I'll give it another look once the sheet is updated.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks!! Everything else was fixed, and I also changed the clef for the LH in m19
Very good sheet!
Couple things:
- Courtesy natural on the G in M. 22 (RH).
- Not sure if there should be an "a tempo" in M. 32 since the crescendo is building up to that or if the double barline cancels that out...I'll leave that up to you.
Not hearing any wrong notes! Awesome work.
Great sheet! One suggestion: I'd personally notate the initial tempo marking as dotted half = 50, since I feel less like I'm counting each individual beat and moreso counting the first beat of each measure. I don't think the mood of the track warrants a tempo as fast as 150.
Some formatting nitpicks that you may or may not decide to change...
- I've honestly always been really bothered about how far to the right Finale always starts 8va/15ma markings. I'd personally extend them over a little more to the left, but this is a matter of personal preference, so feel free to take it or leave it.
0.5 left margins end up being inconvenient sometimes when people print out the sheets and hole punch them. Personally I use 0.65 margins, 0.6 if I really need the space, but again, it's a matter of personal preference, so if you've formatted other sheets similarly, feel free to keep it for consistency's sake. so it looks like a lot of people use 0.5 left margin so it doesn't really make a difference I guess- I remember seeing on someone else's submission lately (can't remember where) that the gap between the composer and the arranger text boxes should be a little bit smaller. IMO it is a little jarring to see that gap there; I'd personally move the composer text box down a smidge, but again, your call.
Sorry for the wait, and thanks for the feedback!
Quote from: Sebastian on August 25, 2018, 08:14:03 AM- Not sure if there should be an "a tempo" in M. 32 since the crescendo is building up to that or if the double barline cancels that out...I'll leave that up to you.
I'm confused. If you meant to say m31 with the fermata, I don't think it's necessary.
Aside from that, I updated it with the rest of both of your suggestions
Just some small things here from me:
-Fix the beam direction on the middle two quavers of bar 14 to be in line with the others.
-For consistency you have a one bar crescendo in bar 17 as a hairpin but then in bar 19 you have it as 'cresc'. Maybe it's just me but I'd do both of those one bar crescendos as hairpins.
-With regards to the title, maybe having a space between the quotation mark and the speech marks at the end would make it look better?
Otherwise (and those are really small things anyway) it's a really nice looking sheet!
Quote from: Libera on September 18, 2018, 04:10:35 AM-With regards to the title, maybe having a space between the quotation mark and the speech marks at the end would make it look better?
Otherwise (and those are really small things anyway) it's a really nice looking sheet!
Thanks! I think the space looks weird so I tried writing it like "Link's Memories: 'Zelda's Awakening'" (it still looks slightly off tbh). I fixed the other two suggestions
I think it looks much better like that, nice solution!
Very nice work you guys, this sheet is looking great. Just a last few things from me:
- At the beginning, I'd suggest putting the con pedale to the left of or below the 8b. Seems kind of awkward for it to push the whole dashed line bracket down.
- Left hand of 18, check it again. I'm hearing octaves G-D-G-G-G-G, not G-D-D-G----.
- Consider uncluttering m. 20 by moving the incalzando above the staff, or the cresc. to the next measure, or something
- Check the enharmonic spellings in the m. 20-30 section. Some of these definitely aren't right (ex. Cb against C in m. 27)
- I'd suggest moving the caesura more to the right in m. 31. It's practically right on top of the augmentation dots. Move the music away from the header a bit, too.
- Last measure RH should be an octave higher.
Quote from: Latios212 on September 20, 2018, 05:51:27 PM- Left hand of 18, check it again. I'm hearing octaves G-D-G-G-G-G, not G-D-D-G----.
After listening to it again, I hear this
(https://i.imgur.com/pk0T2kL.png)
Quote from: Latios212 on September 20, 2018, 05:51:27 PM- Check the enharmonic spellings in the m. 20-30 section. Some of these definitely aren't right (ex. Cb against C in m. 27)
I don't see any alternatives for the clash in m26 and in m22 I don't think replacing the G in the RH with F double sharp is even worth it/necessary, but I did change m21 and 27. If you or anyone else has any more corrections then I'll fix it. I'm not good at writing these things out correctly (and an explanation would be nice)
Quote from: Latios212 on September 20, 2018, 05:51:27 PM- Last measure RH should be an octave higher.
I put an 8va on beat 2 instead of the whole measure
The other stuff was corrected
Ok let's talk about those spellings.
The primary issue here (at least the way I see it) is that the left and right hands aren't really functioning harmonically together so it makes it tricky. But we can do better!
-The Gb octaves in the left hand of bar 22 can be rewritten as F#s and that would avoid the clash there.
-The Fb octaves should be rewritten as Ens. Why? That chord there is one of the few that does function nicely together, it's just perfect fourths stacked on top of each other.
-Bar 26 is the most troublesome, and I think it should be left as it is. You could avoid it by doing some different spellings but at that point you'd really be writing down nonsense to avoid the clash. It really is a fourth stacked on top of a Dn in the right hand over a Db pedal, not particularly pleasant but that's how I see it.
I'll have a chat with Latios about bar 18, but I'm hearing what you've got in there now.
Thank you for taking a look at it! I put too much focus on the horizontal aspect, so I'll try to be more aware of situations where it doesn't make sense or an alternative would be better. I fixed m22 and 24 (and also put courtesy accidentals)
Great! Just waiting on Latios for bar 18.
Nice, that section looking much better although for bar 26 if you're choosing to spell it this way I would recommend non-parenthesized naturals on the D in the right hand.
Quote from: Zeila on September 21, 2018, 02:16:31 AMI put an 8va on beat 2 instead of the whole measure
Oops yeah I meant that.
Not entirely sure about beat 3.5 but I'm sure beat 2 is G's, just like beat 2.5. It becomes more apparent after raising it an octave and slowing it down, though I hear it full speed as well.
Ok I've talked to Latios and I messed around with the audio and I have been converted to the dark side Latios' version. I think the D hangs over and since the G is lower it covers it up which is why we were mishearing it. This is what Latios and I have now:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/371406835112214530/492667808820494337/unknown.png
Oh I don't really think it jumps up on beat 3 though...
Sorry for all the mixed messages, it's my fault for not properly checking with Latios before posting. Latios and I now agree on this:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/308706524736258049/492676690204557333/unknown.png
I think I was hearing the G that you have in the right hand before.
Sorry again for the confusion and I hope that helps!
I updated it with the note change and courtesy accidental. Thanks for the help!
Awesome. Looks great!
Great job, Zeila!
This submission has been accepted by Brassman388 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=521).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot