Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Black Version 2 & Pokémon White Version 2
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: N's Castle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Trasdegi (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5177)
[attachment deleted by admin]
I didn't really look through the notes but I noticed a couple of formatting issues and since I think you're using notepad (correct me if I'm wrong) I decided to go and fix them for you.
Libera_Edit_Mus (https://www.dropbox.com/s/2tlity6wjf1ojes/n%27s_castle%20%28Libera%20Edit%29.mus?dl=1)
Things I changed:
- I changed the bar distribution from 4, 4, 6 to 5, 4, 5 for evenness.
- I noticed an unnecessary and large resize of 77% (iirc) so I lessened that to 85% and moved things around a bit.
- I also found that the staves were oddly close together which made some staccatos look a bit odd so I spaced them out a bit more.
You're free to use this file obviously. Hope it helps!
Updated. I opted for a different measure distribution (4-4-3-3), to reflet the different parts of the original. Added measure numbers, too.
first staccato dot is clashing with the tempo marking (at least on the pdf) no probs with arrangement though :)
Files updated.
Quote from: AmpharosAndy on August 29, 2018, 12:46:01 PMfirst staccato dot is clashing with the tempo marking (at least on the pdf) no probs with arrangement though :)
Should still move it more up and left, it's still rather close.
Articulation. I'd highly suggest slur markings instead of tenuto markings as the notes lead directly into the ones following. Would also suggest considering using staccato and tenuto together instead of just staccato because the notes are detached but still held for enough time to give them emphasis - the sheet makes it look like you simply plunk each chord, which shouldn't be the case. There's weight to every beat.
Staccatissimo marks aren't aligned properly.
Some left hand notes in m. 9-11 are really low unlike the original. I would recommend giving it some contrast and have the low notes strike on the emphasized beats like in the original.
Also, the last measure which currently has a fermata in it isn't actually any longer than the other measures in the original. Though if you want to keep it there in an interpretive way I say it's fine.
Updated. I tried to thinker a bit with the LH.
Looks good, but
I'm not a big fan of having the rit. on the top of the staff. I've seen it that way if there's no room at the bottom or if there's additional text taking up space at the bottom.
Probs just a preference, but I dun like it. If no one has any complaints about it, then I'll give it the ol' thumb.
I found this poll (https://forum.makemusic.com/default.aspx?f=5&m=237782) on the finale forums, and the vast majority of voters seems to agree with putting these above. I also always saw them above the staff. However, it might just be that I (and people on the finale forums) play one-staffed instruments. Maybe it's different for piano.
I'm for always putting it on the top, too.
I also suggest leaving it in the middle as well unless there's something blocking it.
Well, I decided to put it between the staves. Files updated.
Quote from: Latios212 on September 13, 2018, 05:10:28 PMWould also suggest considering using staccato and tenuto together instead of just staccato because the notes are detached but still held for enough time to give them emphasis - the sheet makes it look like you simply plunk each chord, which shouldn't be the case. There's weight to every beat.
Did you think about this?
Last thing about the notes: the chord in the first measure of the last system should have its Bb on top; I'd suggest inverting the C# down. I'd also reconsider the G in the left hand since the low tritone sounds muddy (although if that's the effect you're trying to achieve here, sure.)
Else looks fine. Just a few small things that I can update for you: missing measure numbers, footer too small, fermata missing on LH of last measure, and the beginning of the slur in the second to last measure should be lower so as not to touch the whole note C#.
Bump for arranger.
woop woop files updated
I never liked the staccato tenuto combo, but whatevs. If everyone else agrees with it then I cannot contest.
However, I am hearing a different rhythm at the last beat of m. 8. I hear the D being held for an 8th note then resolving how you have the last two 16ths.
If it matters, how I would solve the tenuto staccato thing is by having tenuto'd eighth note hits on each beat. This would hightlight the melody in the bassline and other lines like it. Just something else, no need to change if it works as is for everyone.
I agree that it looks somewhat messy, but that combo was the way of solving the "it's not just plunking each chord" problem. The tenuto + eight makes this problem worse imo, so I don't think it's a good idea.
I checked again, and I hear 4 16th in m. 8... Could anyone else take a listen?
Instead of using tenuto and staccato in combination, I would put the indication pesante or even molto pesante at the start and write everything in straight eighth notes followed by eighth rests. I believe this better communicates the intended character of the piece, and more clearly indicates that you want complete silence between each of the chord stabs. If you really want to stick with the tenuto + staccato combination, put the mention simile in the third measure and hide all the articulations from then until measure 9.
In measure 8, I hear four sixteenths, just as you've written them. (Well, an octave higher, but you get my point.)
In measure 10, the left hand should be playing an E on the fourth beat. Personally, I'd keep this and the following note an octave higher, since the the texture is at its sparsest here and lowering it can lead to confusion with the bass line (which never goes very low because you always have to play chords), but you don't have to.
The C in measure 11 should be an octave higher. Same goes for the left hand Bb on beat four. (You're still on a D pedal, so D should be your lowest note.)
In measure 13, you could make the slur go from the A in layer one to the E instead of from F to E, in order to avoid collision issues. Also, you could cut the left hand C# if (like me) you're a fan of the raw sound an open seventh gives you, but that's also up to you.
Files updated with d3ath's suggestions.
Quote from: Latios212 on September 29, 2018, 02:56:05 PMJust a few small things that I can update for you: missing measure numbers, footer too small, fermata missing on LH of last measure
Updated these things for you since you have Notepad.
Looks good!
Nice.
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot