Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Ruby Version & Pokémon Sapphire Version
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Petalburg City
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344)
Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mus/943) | MIDI (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mid/943) | PDF (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/943)
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Petalburg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkqaQI7Zusk), eh?
Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire came first 8)
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/264591162315112448/493615950562852864/unknown.png
25 hours and 250 miles later I have got to this. This track is so great I think I love it too much. Anyway, feedback time.
So I know you told me you were trying to create an off-beat countermelody that was in reach but I think we can get closer to the synth line than this without making it any harder.
Spoiler
Bar 2:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/493847754716610578/unknown.png
Bar 4:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/493847655231914005/unknown.png
You didn't do my favourite part of the piece... </3 In bar 6 the flute jumps up from an Ab to Eb then back down to C but you have it as going down to the Eb instead. It'd still be playable if you put it up and it's my favourite bit :'(.
Finally with the last bar you've got these really ugly parallel fifths that just don't sound good in my opinion. Luckily there's another part you could take instead that sounds much better and feels more like the original to me:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/493853892463820821/unknown.png
Other than looks good to me, I enjoyed
listening to this piece constantly on repeat checking it thoroughly. :)
Bars 2 and 4: Sounds good to me! I'll change that.
Bar 6: While it's great in the original I'm not so crazy about its effect on the piano - the layer jumps above the melody which I'm generally not too crazy about and also makes it more difficult to move down to reach the notes in the following measure. I'd like to keep this as is :P
Last bar: I'm not too crazy about how the intervals constantly change in what you wrote out... I hear the part, but I personally think the parallel fifths sound fine (besides that just being verbatim from the original without any octave transposition). Would prefer to keep this as well :P
Thanks for looking! I've updated the files.
This is something incredibly minor but I feel like there's enough of a musical (?) change in the piece to warrant a double barline between M.9 and M.10.
I'm also not fond of the amount of leger lines in some parts but I can understand why you left it as it is.
Besides that minor stuff, it's a nice sheet.
Definitely a distinction between an A and B section there, but I tend to reserve double barlines for longer songs with more sections, or more jarring contrasts between sections. I getcha, but I don't feel like it adds much here. For ledger lines, it doesn't get terribly high so yeah save the last few measures it seems fine. Thanks for looking!
After a bit of discussion with Libera we decided to fill in the parallel fifths with a few more notes. Updated again!
Great sheet for a great song. Good to go.
Cool, I got no problems with it.
Nice work!
This submission has been accepted by Brassman388 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=521).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot