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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Project Archive => Topic started by: Libera on December 13, 2018, 12:25:40 AM

Title: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 13, 2018, 12:25:40 AM
As discussed here (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10445.msg407183#msg407183) it's time for the:

NSM Winter Update!

Dropbox Folder (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/74i09tbrvx9h0ei/AAC5KoZsXg3gPLY3rq9X95xWa?dl=0)

Submit your winter-themed (or perhaps summer-themed for the benefit of our friends in the southern hemisphere) sheets in this thread!  We're aiming for an update on the winter solstice which is on the 21st December.  Since this has a strict deadline, we can't guarantee that every sheet submitted here will be included, but we will try our best to get in as many as we can!  We'll also be having a strict submission deadline of next wednesday (19th December).  As always, help with reviewing is greatly appreciated!



Submitted:

All done here!



Checked Once:

All done here!



Accepted:
- Bravely Default: The Immortal Country by Libera Checked by Latios212 Accepted by InsigTurtle
- Drakengard: Fourth Chapter - On the Ground by Libera Checked by InsigTurtle Accepted by Latios212
- Final Fantasy VI: The Mines of Narshe by Static Checked by Libera Accepted by InsigTurtle
- Final Fantasy VII: Buried in Snow by Renaud Bergeron Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Static
- Final Fantasy IX: Esto Gaza by Renaud Bergeron Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Static
- Ice Climber: Game Start by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Ice Climber: Stage Clear by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Ice Climber: Stage Theme by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Ice Climber: Title Screen / Bonus Stage by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Kirby: Squeak Squad: Wonder of the Stars by LeviR.star Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon: Secret Mine by LeviR.star Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Libera
- Mario & Wario: Level 4: Ice Cave by LeviR.star Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Monster Hunter Freedom 2: Pokke Village by Latios212 Checked by Libera Accepted by InsigTurtle
- NieR: Snow in Summer by Libera Checked by Latios212 Accepted by InsigTurtle
- Octopath Traveler: Flamesgrace, Guiding Light by Static Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Libera
- Octopath Traveler: The Frostlands by Latios212 Checked by Libera Accepted by Static
- Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door: Fahr Outpost by Static Checked by Libera Accepted by InsigTurtle
- Pokemon Ranger: Panula Cave by Trasdegi Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Libera
- Pokemon Ranger: Wintown by Trasdegi Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Libera
- Seiken Densetsu 3: Another Winter by Static Checked by Latios212 Accepted by InsigTurtle
- Spellforce: The Breath of Winter: Cenwen by Libera Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Static
- Super Bomberman 3: Winterland by LeviR.star Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Super Mario Kart: Vanilla Lake (Replacement) by Th3Gavst3r Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Libera
- Super Mario Sunshine: Gelato Beach by E. Gadd Industries Checked by Latios212 Accepted by Libera
- The Legend of Dark Witch: Freesia by Static Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: Snow Bowling Minigame by Latios212 Checked by Libera Accepted by Static
- Vs. Ice Climber: Bonus Stage by LeviR.star Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212


Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 13, 2018, 02:38:07 AM
Here are my submissions for this update.

The Immortal Country:

Cenwen:

Snow in Summer:

Fourth Chapter - On the Ground: 

Three different game series!?  And none of them are Fire Emblem!?  Preposterous.

(Edited back in the youtube embeds because you guys did and I like to conform.  Also I got rid of the links because on second thoughts I don't want to have to keep two sets of files up to date.  You can get these from the dropbox folder.)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 13, 2018, 04:30:52 AM
Two for now, I've added them to the Dropbox:

- Octopath Traveler: The Frostlands by Latios212


- The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild: Snow Bowling Minigame by Latios212

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 13, 2018, 05:19:39 AM
My 3 submissions will be these:

Seiken Densetsu 3 - Another Winter

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door - Fahr Outpost

The Legend of Dark Witch - Freesia
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 13, 2018, 10:13:46 PM
Ice Climber [NES]
Game StartMUS (https://goo.gl/2Mz7Bc)MUSX (https://goo.gl/pBw31O)MIDI (https://goo.gl/ULouj3)PDF (https://goo.gl/DN91DD)Original (https://goo.gl/PCpK25)
Stage ClearMUS (https://goo.gl/YctxOl)MUSX (https://goo.gl/mR9Y6a)MIDI (https://goo.gl/GqlkKc)PDF (https://goo.gl/XWfiWW)Original (https://goo.gl/C4oMoF)
Stage ThemeMUS (https://goo.gl/ox7y9H)MUSX (https://goo.gl/bxlCK3)MIDI (https://goo.gl/gPHUYj)PDF (https://goo.gl/vjTW2M)Original (https://goo.gl/nlST6t)
Title Screen / Bonus StageMUS (https://goo.gl/YbhCny)MUSX (https://goo.gl/KWXj1M)MIDI (https://goo.gl/fZQ20T)PDF (https://goo.gl/31vVnu)Original (https://goo.gl/B5zZlI)
I only just now realized that these were winter-themed.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Trasdegi on December 13, 2018, 11:05:14 PM
Revised an oldie from my thread for this update

----Pokémon Ranger----

"Panula Cave": [Folder of stuff] (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/pu85hncphw0p2wu/AACf5xc5-Dp66Uv4zzT-r4C7a?dl=0)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: LeviR.star on December 14, 2018, 04:35:48 AM
I'm jumping in on this with some sheets that I made for last year's 12 Days of Sheets (which I thought were supposed to be Christmas-y)

Levi's 2018 Winter Update Sheets (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/23bd1aqo5l7k0pp/AAA6DAJNQTry4ubG48SuccpYa?dl=0)

(I added the Vs. Ice Climber sheet, a conveniently recent arrangement, when I noticed Yug post his Ice Climber stuff here)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: E. Gadd Industries on December 14, 2018, 06:51:57 AM
"Gelato Beach" - Super Mario Sunshine
[MUSX] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/pwew8fewlgv039r/34.%20Gelato%20Beach.musx?dl=1)


Here's my submission

S'winter time, muahaha
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 14, 2018, 11:58:33 AM
I've moved everyone's stuff to the dropbox and updated the OP.

LeviR.star

Bonus Stage:

I spent ages looking for a youtube video for this until I found that you'd posted one on your PA thread.  I probably should have gone there sooner.  It looks pretty solid, and it was comforting to hear a nice twelve bar blues bass line.

-Maybe someone else knows better, but is your notation for straight eighths standard?  I don't think many pieces have this effect going on so there might not really be a nice accepted notation.
-I understand why you went with Fns in bars 2 and 4 but I think since they're not really harmonic I'd just write them as Ens for clarity.
-With the ascending line in the final bar I'd write the last Ab as a G# just to keep the pattern the same in every triplet (up down up, up down up etc.)
-With some of those fast triplet sections, I'd consider cutting back on some of the repeated harmony notes just because I think it won't affect the sound really at all but it'll be way easier to play.  For example (for bar 11):
Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/523071525604294656/unknown.png)
[close]
Let me know what you think.
-Courtesy accidentals are something that this piece would benefit from a lot since there's a lot to keep track of.  Things like Ens in the bass in bars 2, 4 etc since we have Ebs and Ens in the right hand, Gn in the left hand in bar 16 since we've got a Gb striking at the same time in the right hand.  You could add in more if you want to be really explicit, but that's up to you.

Yug_Guy

Title Screen / Bonus Stage

So I opened this up immediately after going through Levi's and my first thought was 'did I just accidentally click resize?'  So yeah I guess these are basically the same piece but Levi's has some extra stuff in it?  Disclaimer I don't know anything about this game.

So quite a lot of the feedback is actually going to be similar stuff.

-Same point about courtesy accidentals.
-Same point about the Fb in bars 2 and 4.
-So in the run at bar 6 you decided on Abb here whereas Levi picked Gn.  To be honest I think both are perfectly fine so I'm happy either way here.  It really depends on whether you want to prioritise the readability of the intervals or the readability of the notes.
-So you have a lot of these really fast triplet dyad runs which are going to be really hard to perform.  I thought my dyad runs in Far Away were pushing it a little but these are like almost twice as fast as those.  Also the same comment about maybe taking out some of the repeated harmony notes in bar 9.
-Same comment about writing the third set of triplets in bar 12 as An G# An (C# B# C#, although I'm suggesting leaving that line out.)

Notes all look good, handy that I've already checked them once. :P

Stage Theme

The only thing I can see here is that I'd consider changing the dotted quaver semiquaver rhythms to quaver semiquaver rest semiquaver since there's a distinct gap between every note.  Other than that, nice.

Latios212

Snow Bowling Minigame

That was tough to check.

Only thing I have to say here is that final chord looks kinda tricky to play.  Maybe you could leave out the C since it's in the right hand anyway and that would leave the hand in a better position to play the top E.

Libera

-Your Immortal Country arrangement sucks.

There were a bunch of issues with it that I'm not sure how I missed; they've been fixed now though.

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Deku Trombonist on December 14, 2018, 01:29:37 PM
LeviR.star - Secret Mine
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ua58ch2ftkqjqmm/Luigi%27s%20Mansion%20Dark%20Moon%20-%20Secret%20Mine.musx?dl=0

Mainly some visual fixes.
- You're using a template that already has the staff size set at the happy ideal of 0.65cm so you there's no need to use the resize tool. (Actually, I don't think the resize tool should ever be used, except maybe for ossias. But I'm sure Ben would have a way of getting around that).
- I re-spaced everything so it's more aesthetically pleasing and makes better use of the two pages it was already taking up.
- You don't need the parenthesis in bar 26 in the LH because the is no clash with the RH (both are 8va).
- Bar 21 has a small rhythm grouping error that I fixed. I'm guessing you just skipped over it because bar 17 was grouped spot on.
- I really don't think the double bar lines belong here. The idea behind them is that they are used in conjunction with a significant change of time signature or key signature or to indicate the start of a new section. Here it seems like they were being used to indicate the start of a new phrase, which isn't what they're meant for. If you do want to indicate phrase lengths, phrase markings are a much more effective way of communicating this.
- I've always thought that it looks better to have the speed indication after the character indication in the tempo marking.
- I threw in some clef changes from 16 onward. I just thought that it was hanging around in the shark bait long enough to warrant it. Feel free to change them if you want.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 14, 2018, 09:35:34 PM
Here's my first submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/jgo8cphlz8uadv0/AABDW_tA2Ute8n3AJjktcYaba?dl=0). I might have others later.

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 15, 2018, 12:19:46 AM
So I opened this up immediately after going through Levi's and my first thought was 'did I just accidentally click resize?'  So yeah I guess these are basically the same piece but Levi's has some extra stuff in it?  Disclaimer I don't know anything about this game.
Yeah, pretty much. Levi checked in with me before doing that arrangement; it's all good.

-Same point about courtesy accidentals.
Should be good. Let me know if I missed any.

-Same point about the Fb in bars 2 and 4.
Fixed.

-So in the run at bar 6 you decided on Abb here whereas Levi picked Gn.  To be honest I think both are perfectly fine so I'm happy either way here.  It really depends on whether you want to prioritise the readability of the intervals or the readability of the notes.
I prioritized interval readability, so I'll keep it as Abb.

-So you have a lot of these really fast triplet dyad runs which are going to be really hard to perform.  I thought my dyad runs in Far Away were pushing it a little but these are like almost twice as fast as those.  Also the same comment about maybe taking out some of the repeated harmony notes in bar 9.
-Same comment about writing the third set of triplets in bar 12 as An G# An (C# B# C#, although I'm suggesting leaving that line out.)
Decided to keep the dyads only on the first note of the triplet runs - let me know if that works. (your other suggestion essentially fixed itself after I changed this lol)

The only thing I can see here is that I'd consider changing the dotted quaver semiquaver rhythms to quaver semiquaver rest semiquaver since there's a distinct gap between every note.  Other than that, nice.
Fixed.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 15, 2018, 01:01:12 AM
Yug Guy

Stage Theme

Maybe I just missed these on the first look or they were added on your edit but you had some dotted quaver rests.  Since it was so simple I just changed those myself and put the new file in checked once.  Hope that's alright.

Title Screen / Bonus Stage

Should be good. Let me know if I missed any.

The places I was thinking were where you had an alteration in one staff but not in the other (just to avoid any ambiguity).  So that means places like the En in the left hand of bars 2 and 4 and 8, the Gn in the left hand of bar 8, the An in the left hand of bar 12 and maybe some others that I've missed.  If you need any clarification on that, let me know.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 15, 2018, 01:08:43 AM
The places I was thinking were where you had an alteration in one staff but not in the other (just to avoid any ambiguity).  So that means places like the En in the left hand of bars 2 and 4 and 8, the Gn in the left hand of bar 8, the An in the left hand of bar 12 and maybe some others that I've missed.  If you need any clarification on that, let me know.
Okay, fixed.

Maybe I just missed these on the first look or they were added on your edit but you had some dotted quaver rests.  Since it was so simple I just changed those myself and put the new file in checked once.  Hope that's alright.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 01:30:02 AM
Revised an oldie from my thread for this update

----Pokémon Ranger----

"Panula Cave": [Folder of stuff] (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/pu85hncphw0p2wu/AACf5xc5-Dp66Uv4zzT-r4C7a?dl=0)
Looks good, fixed up a couple of things aside from formatting:
- Respelling Gx as An
- These notes were incorrect before - there's an echo on all of these notes but the pitch you entered before was incorrect and not part of the melody. Barring echoes each of those figures should have a quarter note here.
Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/523294644935589888/unknown.png)
[close]

I fixed up the file in Dropbox, let me know if there are any issues.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 01:39:08 AM
Snow Bowling Minigame

That was tough to check.

Only thing I have to say here is that final chord looks kinda tricky to play.  Maybe you could leave out the C since it's in the right hand anyway and that would leave the hand in a better position to play the top E.
hehe

I feel like the C is important here though (it's two octaves below the RH one) and this chord is fairly easy to roll, so I'd like to keep it. (Also the same figure is used at the end of this (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/3552))
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 15, 2018, 01:41:22 AM
hehe

I feel like the C is important here though (it's two octaves below the RH one) and this chord is fairly easy to roll, so I'd like to keep it. (Also the same figure is used at the end of this (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/3552))

Fair.

Edit: Latios reminded to post approvals so here we are.

Latios

Snow Bowling Minigame: Approved!

Yug Guy

Stage Theme: Approved!
Title Screen / Bonus Stage: Approved!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 02:05:12 AM
"Gelato Beach" - Super Mario Sunshine
[MUSX] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/pwew8fewlgv039r/34.%20Gelato%20Beach.musx?dl=1)


Here's my submission

S'winter time, muahaha
ay mate

I like this one; however there are two major things I'd like to bring up right now:
Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/523303655009419279/unknown.png)
[close]
- I think the rhythms involving the dotted 16ths would be better written as triplets. I'm not 100% sure what the rhythm is here, but it seems to be somewhat loose so I'd err on the side of writing it like this.
- You may want to consider rewriting those single note tremolos as tremolos between two notes either a sixth or an octave apart. This will allow you to play notes more rapidly and comfortably. That said, I played around with it on piano with pedal and the slowish tempo lets you get away with hammering away at one note if you really want to.

Other things:
- I don't think the key changes are necessary on the second page. It modulates a bit but doesn't stray terribly far from C.
- Some accidentals are a bit off:
  - m. 16 Db>C# (A chord)
  - m. 26 Db>C# (chromatic ascent)
  - m. 31 (LH) Gb>F# (neighboring chromatic)
- I'd suggest making the bass pattern of 23-30 to match the rhythm of the original a bit better, even though you can't get the pitch bends.
- Separate layers in m. 34.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 02:32:42 AM
Seiken Densetsu 3 - Another Winter

also please include your octopath sheets
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: E. Gadd Industries on December 15, 2018, 05:27:56 AM
"Gelato Beach" - Super Mario Sunshine
[MUSX] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/pwew8fewlgv039r/34.%20Gelato%20Beach.musx?dl=1)
It should be updated now, although my version of Finale may be causing weird formatting things to happen. Things for the feedback!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 15, 2018, 03:26:47 PM
Just wanted so say I've modified my submission to have the name match the official English track name, which apparently is just "Buried in Snow".
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Trasdegi on December 15, 2018, 06:00:51 PM
Looks good, fixed up a couple of things aside from formatting:
- Respelling Gx as An
- These notes were incorrect before - there's an echo on all of these notes but the pitch you entered before was incorrect and not part of the melody. Barring echoes each of those figures should have a quarter note here.
Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/523294644935589888/unknown.png)
[close]

I fixed up the file in Dropbox, let me know if there are any issues.

Thanks for checking it! I agree with these changes.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 06:42:10 PM
Thanks for checking it! I agree with these changes.
Awesome, no problem! Approved.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: LeviR.star on December 15, 2018, 06:53:26 PM
-Maybe someone else knows better, but is your notation for straight eighths standard?  I don't think many pieces have this effect going on so there might not really be a nice accepted notation.
-I understand why you went with Fns in bars 2 and 4 but I think since they're not really harmonic I'd just write them as Ens for clarity.
-With the ascending line in the final bar I'd write the last Ab as a G# just to keep the pattern the same in every triplet (up down up, up down up etc.)
-With some of those fast triplet sections, I'd consider cutting back on some of the repeated harmony notes just because I think it won't affect the sound really at all but it'll be way easier to play.  For example (for bar 11):
Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/523071525604294656/unknown.png)
[close]
Let me know what you think.
-Courtesy accidentals are something that this piece would benefit from a lot since there's a lot to keep track of.  Things like Ens in the bass in bars 2, 4 etc since we have Ebs and Ens in the right hand, Gn in the left hand in bar 16 since we've got a Gb striking at the same time in the right hand.  You could add in more if you want to be really explicit, but that's up to you.

- I've seen tempo markings like "Straight Eighths" or "♩=♩", but since it was changing so frequently in this song, I went and created a simple new notation, and I thought I'd leave it up to you guys for now
- Accidentals fixed
- Good idea. I also went ahead and altered m. 17; check to see if that fits your liking
- I've never really believed in courtesy accidentals (I grew up reading music w/out them) but I fixed the spots you suggested. Any others I am open to changing as well
- Thanks for checking my sheet, Libera. Sorry the video was so hard to find; that usually isn't a problem with my sheets

- You're using a template that already has the staff size set at the happy ideal of 0.65cm so you there's no need to use the resize tool. (Actually, I don't think the resize tool should ever be used, except maybe for ossias. But I'm sure Ben would have a way of getting around that).
- I re-spaced everything so it's more aesthetically pleasing and makes better use of the two pages it was already taking up.
- You don't need the parenthesis in bar 26 in the LH because the is no clash with the RH (both are 8va).
- Bar 21 has a small rhythm grouping error that I fixed. I'm guessing you just skipped over it because bar 17 was grouped spot on.
- I really don't think the double bar lines belong here. The idea behind them is that they are used in conjunction with a significant change of time signature or key signature or to indicate the start of a new section. Here it seems like they were being used to indicate the start of a new phrase, which isn't what they're meant for. If you do want to indicate phrase lengths, phrase markings are a much more effective way of communicating this.
- I've always thought that it looks better to have the speed indication after the character indication in the tempo marking.
- I threw in some clef changes from 16 onward. I just thought that it was hanging around in the shark bait long enough to warrant it. Feel free to change them if you want.

- Ooh, that looks miles better. Thanks so much for fixing that, Deku!'
- Yeah, that part confused me a little -- don't know why I forgot to fix it
- Most likely. Thank you for pointing that error out
- I've gotten used to using them for that in the past year, but I can stop. Thank you; I never knew that's not what they were for
- Well, while I still used special tempo markings that's how I always wrote them, but I can make an exception here. (Mainly just a preference, but I left it there w/ your edit)
- I was having troubles with the clef changes while the page size was so small, but with the systems spaced out it looks a lot better and works well
- Thank you for everything, Deku, this really helps a lot

Files in my folder have been updated w/ the edits.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 15, 2018, 07:17:28 PM
- I've seen tempo markings like "Straight Eighths" or "♩=♩", but since it was changing so frequently in this song, I went and created a simple new notation, and I thought I'd leave it up to you guys for now

It seems reasonable to me, just was wondering if anyone knew a more standard one (but I suspect that it doesn't exist).

- Good idea. I also went ahead and altered m. 17; check to see if that fits your liking

Yee.

- I've never really believed in courtesy accidentals (I grew up reading music w/out them) but I fixed the spots you suggested. Any others I am open to changing as well

I dislike them as well, but these are places where it can actually be ambiguous without clarification so I usually put those ones in.  I thought I was the only person who disliked them here so that's nice. :P
For consistency I'd add in the En in the right hand as well in bars 2 and 4 and the Gn in the left hand of bar 8 like in bar 16.  Also the An in the final bar of the left hand (since you've got Abs and Ans in the right hand there.)  But yeah I'm totally fine with leaving out ones like the Fn in bar 12.  Basically my feeling is if there's an alteration in one octave but a different alteration in the same bar but at a different octave or staff, it should probably have a courtesy accidental.

- Thanks for checking my sheet, Libera. Sorry the video was so hard to find; that usually isn't a problem with my sheets

No problem, and no worries on the video.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 08:10:16 PM
It should be updated now, although my version of Finale may be causing weird formatting things to happen. Things for the feedback!
No problem!

Nice work, much improved. I poked around with the layout and fixed the stuff that your Finale broke, namely some weird looking tremolos and slurs. I also added a courtesy F natural in m. 32 RH (coming down from the F#) and an upper layer B at the end of m. 34, but that's about it.

I uploaded the edits to the folder. I'm done with it now, aside from one last concern... I'm not quite sure what to do about this visually, arrangement wise it's fine but I don't know how to make this look better. :/

(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/503742733173784628/523571758373273600/unknown.png)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 08:37:44 PM
The Immortal Country:
Yay, more Bravely Default!
- m. 19 - would suggest putting a chord on beat 2 like the original instead of just the E
- m. 36 - Move the eighth rest up and mp down, as layer 1 doesn't exist there to push them aside. Same thing with the quarter rest in m. 50 and probably flipping the dyad too.
- m. 50 - double barlines at the key/section change (is this your Finale being weird again?). You should also stop your cescendo hairpin before the barline.
- m. 52/60 (and maybe m. 64 as well) - I'd recommend putting an F on top of the LH chord to emphasize the dominant 7th

That's all I found.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 15, 2018, 08:52:05 PM
Yay, more Bravely Default!
- m. 19 - would suggest putting a chord on beat 2 like the original instead of just the E
- m. 36 - Move the eighth rest up and mp down, as layer 1 doesn't exist there to push them aside. Same thing with the quarter rest in m. 50 and probably flipping the dyad too.
- m. 52/60 (and maybe m. 64 as well) - I'd recommend putting an F on top of the LH chord to emphasize the dominant 7th
Sure thing.  I assumed you meant bar 64 rather than bar 50 for the rest.

- m. 50 - double barlines at the key/section change (is this your Finale being weird again?). You should also stop your cescendo hairpin before the barline.

Almost certainly my finale being weird; let me know if it's still not fixed, but it should be.

Thanks for checking it!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 09:02:04 PM
Oops, I meant to specify bar 65. You can flip the quarter note in the LH up and the dyad in the RH down.

Everything else looks great!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 15, 2018, 09:13:58 PM
I meant bar 65 as well haha.  I just completely forgot about flipping the notes.  It should be done now.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 11:16:33 PM
I'm done with it now, aside from one last concern... I'm not quite sure what to do about this visually, arrangement wise it's fine but I don't know how to make this look better. :/

(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/503742733173784628/523571758373273600/unknown.png)

Maybe this...?

(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/343921575591936011/523623696250699777/unknown.png)

Approving, shout out if you have any better ideas for that measure.



I meant bar 65 as well haha.  I just completely forgot about flipping the notes.  It should be done now.
Nice. Approved!



Just wanted so say I've modified my submission to have the name match the official English track name, which apparently is just "Buried in Snow".
Updated that.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Th3Gavst3r on December 15, 2018, 11:45:28 PM
[SNES] Super Mario Kart

Vanilla Lake
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FcZKANx&hash=8384c222c75664c643f5589e10877b5d) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yklTb93aPM)(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FiETSb2&hash=8b3170e18b86dac09fd7bef5e7f9b515) (https://www.dropbox.com/s/grifnbt6ugm28oq/Vanilla%20Lake.pdf?dl=1)(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FNzw6x1&hash=1ebf6b30e6f424459e2538176b45b5b0) (https://www.dropbox.com/s/b5rvnfvaou45lrq/Vanilla%20Lake.mus?dl=1)(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FWJ76OR&hash=70599f2fadfce4dd1acb407bc0e04ad0) (https://www.dropbox.com/s/yyt12w5w992y5q5/Vanilla%20Lake.mid?dl=1)
                         
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 12:29:50 AM
Static:

Freesia

-My main comment about this is what's going on with the left hand?  It's not so much of a problem later in the arrangement, but I feel like in the first two systems in particular I'm not sure what the sheet gains from the extra added in notes.  Especially the fact that adding in bass notes in bars 1-4 means that we lose the bass 'coming in' in bar 5 from the original.  You could have the first four bars with just chords, or try to incorporate some of the other weird stuff going on there instead.
-You could probably cut down on bars by using repeats, but I'm not sure it'd be enough to fit it on one sheet though so probably not worth it.
-Your staff size is a little too small.  I'd bring it up to 6mm.
-Everything else looks accurate.  Only accuracy thing I've got is in bar 35 I'm hearing the bass like in bar 33 (as in A E A rather than A E G).

Let me know what you think anyway.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 03:38:03 PM
LeviR.star

Level 4: Ice Cave

Very upbeat and merry, indeed!

-The left hand C in bar 23 sounds like it's the same length as the right hand notes rather than a staccato quaver.
-In the left hand in bar 12 the E should be a D.
-I'd suggest moving the 8vb at the end slightly more to the left to cover that note better (maybe the 8va in bar 14 as well).

Very minor comments; nice work.

Spoiler
500 posts wooo.
[close]
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 05:14:10 PM
Latios212

Frostlands

One of the Octopath pieces I know! 

-I'm hearing a Bb rather than a Db in the left hand of bar 7 for the first note.  Might be the Db in the right hand throwing you off (or throwing me off)? 
-In bars 20-22 there's another Ab hit at the start of bar 21 an octave above the previous one.  Might be nice to include just to make those bars a little more interesting.
-Could we move the dynamics in bars 3-4 so they start and end on the notes rather than before and after?  i.e. move the sfz above the first note and the n above the last.  Just to make it look a little neater there.

That's all; really nice stuff.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 05:16:31 PM
Here's my first submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/jgo8cphlz8uadv0/AABDW_tA2Ute8n3AJjktcYaba?dl=0). I might have others later.

While it's definitely not the way I'd have arranged it, the contour of your left hand part makes sense and sounds good, even if the upper voice is a bit hard to follow (along with the original) at the beginning of the song. I'm not seeing anything wrong here, so nice!

It's just missing the "Piano" staff name :P I've added that in and approved.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: LeviR.star on December 16, 2018, 05:22:28 PM
For consistency I'd add in the En in the right hand as well in bars 2 and 4 and the Gn in the left hand of bar 8 like in bar 16.

It was kinda hard to read this sentence at first, but I think I got them.

LeviR.star

Level 4: Ice Cave

Very upbeat and merry, indeed!

-The left hand C in bar 23 sounds like it's the same length as the right hand notes rather than a staccato quaver.
-In the left hand in bar 12 the E should be a D.
-I'd suggest moving the 8vb at the end slightly more to the left to cover that note better (maybe the 8va in bar 14 as well).

Very minor comments; nice work.

Thank you; fixes made.

Files in my folder updated.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 05:25:50 PM
Latios212

Frostlands

One of the Octopath pieces I know! 

-I'm hearing a Bb rather than a Db in the left hand of bar 7 for the first note.  Might be the Db in the right hand throwing you off (or throwing me off)? 
-In bars 20-22 there's another Ab hit at the start of bar 21 an octave above the previous one.  Might be nice to include just to make those bars a little more interesting.
-Could we move the dynamics in bars 3-4 so they start and end on the notes rather than before and after?  i.e. move the sfz above the first note and the n above the last.  Just to make it look a little neater there.

That's all; really nice stuff.
Thanks! I verified that note and fixed all the things.

Also, I talked to Static and will be including his arrangement of "Flamesgrace, Guiding Light" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnSTV5DEiEI&index=19&list=PLq9z3GmD3R9NBQY0OQGdk3HpUPlbhwvfh), which I've already checked some time back (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=8570.msg402822#msg402822).
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 05:35:47 PM
LeviR.star

Bonus Stage

Approved!  Sorry about that sentence being hard to read.  Sometimes they get away from me.

Level 4: Ice Cave

Approved!

Latios212

Frostlands

Approved!

Trasdegi

Panula Cave

Accepted!  The first sheet as well.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 16, 2018, 05:44:19 PM
While it's definitely not the way I'd have arranged it, the contour of your left hand part makes sense and sounds good, even if the upper voice is a bit hard to follow (along with the original) at the beginning of the song. I'm not seeing anything wrong here, so nice!

I assume you're talking about the right hand in the first eight measures? I'm curious to know what you would have done. I usually use AudioOverload for my first draft when working with tracks like these, so that might be why the right hand line looks like filler (the way I see it, that's what that line is).

Anyway, second submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/mhlnore7u0sv5cm/AADOzYuEBw7--Qp8QuwcrbfEa?dl=0):


(I linked this video because it wasn't a 30 min extended version, but the official English name is just "Esto Gaza". Also, I think Insig's going to like the harmonies in this one.)

And third submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/brfjq12rhu1alcv/AADmWZ7BT53AOs8y24-y4GdQa?dl=0):


This is a replacement of one of my older submissions (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/3806), which I'd like to include because a) it fits thematically, b) my formatting was garbage at the time and I'd like to eventually replace all of my first few submissions, c) it was accepted without a proper indication of character, which I really want to have for each of my arrangements.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 05:50:12 PM
Levi - Secret Mine
- m. 2 beat 3 RH should be A-C (different from m. 10!)
- In m. 6 and 14 you put a courtesy Dn in the RH but not the LH. Just wanted to point that out, up to you what you want to do with it, if anything.
- m. 26 LH beat 2.5 sounds like an Eb instead of C. Makes sense too because parallel sixths.
- You could consider changing from 15ma to 8va at m. 19 instead of 23 to avoid ledger lines below the RH staff. But if you want to keep it at the section change, that's fine too.

Looks good otherwise!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 06:05:20 PM
I assume you're talking about the right hand in the first eight measures? I'm curious to know what you would have done. I usually use AudioOverload for my first draft when working with tracks like these, so that might be why the right hand line looks like filler (the way I see it, that's what that line is).
Yep, the intro. On closer inspection actually I think the original was a bit difficult to pick apart, and mostly it was the slurred harmonies in the left hand I found confusing. I'd have tried to include the harmonies with the right hand as much as possible.

This is just a sketch, ignoring trying to keep the lower layers together in any way. I didn't put too much thought in it, it stems from trying not to move the hands around a lot haha.
Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/523907814373064704/unknown.png)
[close]
You'd get to keep the harmonies on beats 3 and 6. But this looks kinda funny too, I guess, and you'd need to make sacrifices anyway past m. 9 when the main melody comes in.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 06:20:23 PM
Yug Guy

Game Start

You really put me through it for this one.

-The fifth 'chord' of bar 3: the Bn should be a Bb.
-The last 'chord' of bar 3: the Cn should be a C#.
-The fifth 'chord' of bar 4: the Fn should be an F#.
-There's a bit of an accel going in the pickup into bar 1 in the original.

Never make me review something like that again.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 06:25:14 PM
Cenwen:
totally your style of stuff

Melody and chords check out, just a couple of small comments.
- Overall it's pretty heavy but in measure 23 the texture lightens noticeably on beats 3 and 4 due to only including two out of three chord tones. It seems a bit contrary to the crescendo (past which the left hand lightens up), so maybe try playing with these two chords a bit?
- You might want to allow just a bit more room around your rolled chords specifically in m. 10 and 14.
- Probably should have fermata(s) in the LH too in the last measure.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 06:37:28 PM
Melody and chords check out, just a couple of small comments.
- Overall it's pretty heavy but in measure 23 the texture lightens noticeably on beats 3 and 4 due to only including two out of three chord tones. It seems a bit contrary to the crescendo (past which the left hand lightens up), so maybe try playing with these two chords a bit?
- You might want to allow just a bit more room around your rolled chords specifically in m. 10 and 14.
- Probably should have fermata(s) in the LH too in the last measure.

Done, done and done.  On the second point I've manually misaligned those quavers slightly to give it a little more space.

totally your style of stuff

What can I say, I like what I like. :P
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 16, 2018, 07:31:05 PM
-The fifth 'chord' of bar 3: the Bn should be a Bb.
-The last 'chord' of bar 3: the Cn should be a C#.
-The fifth 'chord' of bar 4: the Fn should be an F#.
Fixed

-There's a bit of an accel going in the pickup into bar 1 in the original.
Honestly? The accel is so negligible, that I think I'm just going to leave it as-is. I hope that's alright.

Never make me review something like that again.
how do you think I felt when making the arrangement?
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 07:37:36 PM
Yug Guy

Game Start

Honestly? The accel is so negligible, that I think I'm just going to leave it as-is. I hope that's alright.

Fair enough, I thought I'd mention it anyway.

how do you think I felt when making the arrangement?

Hey at least you had a choice.

Approved!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 08:49:09 PM
Done, done and done.  On the second point I've manually misaligned those quavers slightly to give it a little more space.
naisu
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 09:00:17 PM
[SNES] Super Mario Kart

Vanilla Lake
(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FcZKANx&hash=8384c222c75664c643f5589e10877b5d) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yklTb93aPM)(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FiETSb2&hash=8b3170e18b86dac09fd7bef5e7f9b515) (https://www.dropbox.com/s/grifnbt6ugm28oq/Vanilla%20Lake.pdf?dl=1)(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FNzw6x1&hash=1ebf6b30e6f424459e2538176b45b5b0) (https://www.dropbox.com/s/b5rvnfvaou45lrq/Vanilla%20Lake.mus?dl=1)(https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgoo.gl%2FWJ76OR&hash=70599f2fadfce4dd1acb407bc0e04ad0) (https://www.dropbox.com/s/yyt12w5w992y5q5/Vanilla%20Lake.mid?dl=1)
                         
This is nice
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 09:26:14 PM
And third submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/brfjq12rhu1alcv/AADmWZ7BT53AOs8y24-y4GdQa?dl=0):

This is a replacement of one of my older submissions (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/3806), which I'd like to include because a) it fits thematically, b) my formatting was garbage at the time and I'd like to eventually replace all of my first few submissions, c) it was accepted without a proper indication of character, which I really want to have for each of my arrangements.
Sure, no problem. Including.

Anyway, second submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/mhlnore7u0sv5cm/AADOzYuEBw7--Qp8QuwcrbfEa?dl=0):

(I linked this video because it wasn't a 30 min extended version, but the official English name is just "Esto Gaza". Also, I think Insig's going to like the harmonies in this one.)
This is really nice, everything looks on point here. Glad to see more Final Fantasy stuff being put up (the site could sure use it...) Approving!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 09:42:29 PM
LeviR.star

Winterland (Stage 5)

This looks pretty good, just got two comments.
-In the version I found, there's an extra bar after 41 (2nd time) before it goes back to bar 1 that you've missed out here.
-The bass moves in bar 33 and maybe consider putting that in, either instead of the chords or in addition to (by cutting the right hand note early the right hand could play those chords).
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 09:44:21 PM
Fourth Chapter - On the Ground: 
Never make me review something like that again.
- Fix the 8va/repeat brackets around m. 37.
- I'm having a hard time following past m. 38. The sheet looks completely innocuous past there and it doesn't seem to match the heaviness and dissonance of the original at all...
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 16, 2018, 10:15:40 PM
  • Watch the G/A collision in m. 12. I would strongly recommend using 3 measures per system when you have the continuous 16th notes, as the cross-staff beams are quite short since this section is quite cramped.
  • The middle layer in m. 13-14 doesn't match the original. Did you shift some notes around to fit with the melody?
Adjusted the measure spacing. And yeah, I moved the middle layer around a bit. It's not exactly what's in the original, but I think it works for the piece and keeps the same style and sound, while also making it more comfortable to play.

Freesia

-My main comment about this is what's going on with the left hand?  It's not so much of a problem later in the arrangement, but I feel like in the first two systems in particular I'm not sure what the sheet gains from the extra added in notes.  Especially the fact that adding in bass notes in bars 1-4 means that we lose the bass 'coming in' in bar 5 from the original.  You could have the first four bars with just chords, or try to incorporate some of the other weird stuff going on there instead.
-You could probably cut down on bars by using repeats, but I'm not sure it'd be enough to fit it on one sheet though so probably not worth it.
-Your staff size is a little too small.  I'd bring it up to 6mm.
-Everything else looks accurate.  Only accuracy thing I've got is in bar 35 I'm hearing the bass like in bar 33 (as in A E A rather than A E G).
For the LH: At the beginning, the only other prominent instrument is the drum set, so I put a simple rhythm there to emulate the feel there; otherwise, it sound kind of empty. I feel like the rhythm change in m5 is enough to highlight the new bassline.

Everything else has been fixed.


also please include your octopath sheets
We agreed to add Flamesgrace, and I see you've already added it to the OP, there you go lol

Thanks for the feedback!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 16, 2018, 10:28:26 PM
Adjusted the measure spacing. And yeah, I moved the middle layer around a bit. It's not exactly what's in the original, but I think it works for the piece and keeps the same style and sound, while also making it more comfortable to play.
Nice yay approve
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 10:37:15 PM
For the LH: At the beginning, the only other prominent instrument is the drum set, so I put a simple rhythm there to emulate the feel there; otherwise, it sound kind of empty. I feel like the rhythm change in m5 is enough to highlight the new bassline.

Everything else has been fixed.

Hmm ok, it's a bit of a subjective thing anyway.  Changes look good.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 16, 2018, 10:50:47 PM
- I'm having a hard time following past m. 38. The sheet looks completely innocuous past there and it doesn't seem to match the heaviness and dissonance of the original at all...

Yeah I perhaps gave up too easily when making this arrangement and I could do a better job.  I've updated the files.

- Fix the 8va/repeat brackets around m. 37.

It looks completely fine to me so it's something wrong with one of our finales.  I can't really edit it to fix it when it looks fine to me.  Maybe someone else could see what it looks like for them?
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 17, 2018, 12:36:38 AM
went through a bunch

Accepted:
- Ice Climber: Game Start by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Ice Climber: Stage Theme by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212 (This was missing the backslash in the URL)
- Ice Climber: Title Screen / Bonus Stage by Yug_Guy Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
- Mario & Wario: Level 4 Ice Cave by LeviR.star Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212 (The second page header info was misaligned, also fixed the abovementioned LH note in m. 12)
- Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis: Battle BGM 5 (Replacement) by Renaud Bergeron (just formatting fixes to the one already on site)
- Vs. Ice Climber: Bonus Stage by LeviR.star Checked by Libera Accepted by Latios212
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: LeviR.star on December 17, 2018, 06:02:23 AM
Levi - Secret Mine
- m. 2 beat 3 RH should be A-C (different from m. 10!)
- In m. 6 and 14 you put a courtesy Dn in the RH but not the LH. Just wanted to point that out, up to you what you want to do with it, if anything.
- m. 26 LH beat 2.5 sounds like an Eb instead of C. Makes sense too because parallel sixths.
- You could consider changing from 15ma to 8va at m. 19 instead of 23 to avoid ledger lines below the RH staff. But if you want to keep it at the section change, that's fine too.

Looks good otherwise!

- never caught that... sounds so strange now...
- ooh, thank you (courtesy accidentals strike again!)
- sounds right
- looking at it, while I see no ledger line problems if they were to go up an octave, I sorta like the idea of the 8va indicating the next section, so if it's alright I'm going to keep it where it is

Thank you much, Latios!

LeviR.star

Winterland (Stage 5)

This looks pretty good, just got two comments.
-In the version I found, there's an extra bar after 41 (2nd time) before it goes back to bar 1 that you've missed out here.
-The bass moves in bar 33 and maybe consider putting that in, either instead of the chords or in addition to (by cutting the right hand note early the right hand could play those chords).

- how did I never add that in?... fixed
- I never caught that, either (go figure... it was one of my "12 Days" sheets). How does that look?

Thanks, Libera! I also updated the LH articulations a little, if you would like to give your input on my new changes.

Folder files changed again.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 17, 2018, 11:43:31 AM
LeviR.star

Winterland (Stage 5)

Looks great!  And no worries about missing those things out, strange things just sometimes happen.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Winter on December 17, 2018, 04:12:07 PM
 :'( I'm so happy you guys are doing this for me!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Trasdegi on December 17, 2018, 09:12:33 PM
Trasdegi

Panula Cave

Accepted!  The first sheet as well.

Yay! Here's a second one in the same spirit:


"Wintown":
[PDF] (http://bit.ly/2fVNHGt)[MUS] (http://bit.ly/2vD9tGk)[MID] (http://bit.ly/2fX0EQo)[Original] (http://bit.ly/2wdVAOp)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 18, 2018, 12:23:59 AM
E. Gadd Industries

Gelato Beach

It looks nice, I've just got one small thing.  Did you move the octaves of the bass around on purpose?  I'm talking about bars 11-18; the notes look good, it's just some of the octaves are off.  Here's a picture of what I can hear:

Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/524365622692282369/unknown.png)
[close]

If you've moved them around for a particular reason, just let me know.  (Also if you do swap to what I've posted, you should put a parenthesis around the right hand Ab in bar 17.)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 18, 2018, 12:33:38 AM
- never caught that... sounds so strange now...
- ooh, thank you (courtesy accidentals strike again!)
- sounds right
- looking at it, while I see no ledger line problems if they were to go up an octave, I sorta like the idea of the 8va indicating the next section, so if it's alright I'm going to keep it where it is

Thank you much, Latios!
No problem :P Approved.

Static - Freesia
Respaced the staves on page 1 a bit and accepted
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 18, 2018, 12:44:05 AM
OK, I want to apologize if this is really dry, but I didn't want to take too much more room than was necessary (I hope you'll understand).

500 posts wooo.

I'm not getting there any time soon with posts like these. ;)



E. Gadd Industries

Gelato Beach



Latios212

The Frostlands



LeviR.star

Anti-Claus's Theme
Secret Mine
Winterland (Stage 5)
Wonder of the Stars



Libera

Cenwen
Fourth Chapter — On the Ground
The Immortal Country
Snow in Summer



Static

Another Winter
Fahr Outpost
Flamesgrace, Guiding Light
Freesia



Th3Gavst3r

Vanilla Lake



Yug Guy

Stage Clear
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 18, 2018, 03:13:09 AM
Static

Another Winter
  • The only thing really is that you have two-sixteenths-and-an-eighth tied to a dotted half note (measure 10), idem tied to a quarter note tied to a half note (measure 16), and idem tied to a quarter note tied to a quarter note (measures 12 and 14). You should choose to either show the third beat (in which case you'd need to change measure 10), use the longest not values available (in which case you'd need to change every measure except 10), or use the longest nondotted values (my personal recommendation, in which case you'd need to change every measure except for 16). Apart from that, this would get my unofficial seal of approval.
Fixed using the longest non-dotted note values.

Fahr Outpost
  • These character indications, man. I swear, it's a conspiracy.
  • Just anecdotally, I don't know if you're aware of this (I only learned it recently myself), but "8vb" is a faulty abreviation that made its way into common use. The "correct" way would be either just 8va (being below the staff implies an octave lower) or writing out "8va bassa" in full before the line. In any case, personally, I'd write these notes using ledger lines here.
  • I can't say I'm 100% certain, but I hear the E and B triads in measures 7–8 as minor. Same with the A, G#, and D# triads in measure 13.
I am aware 8va is technically correct, but because 8vb is common and pretty clear, I usually use that (especially if there's an 8va in the RH part). Also, I only hear the B and G# triads as minor. Aside from that, everything else has been edited.

I also made some additional measure/system spacing adjustments, and I think it looks much better now.

Flamesgrace, Guiding Light
  • I find your systems a bit small. Maybe tinker with that a little.
  • There's a D# in the accompaniment in measures 1 and 9; up to you if you want to include it or not. Personally, I'd have the left hand alternating between E-B-D# and E-C#-E for measures 1–4 and 9–12.
  • There's a G# in the second chord of measure 5.
  • The rehearsal mark isn't necessary.
Everything has been fixed.

Freesia
  • Is there a reason you didn't add a lower F to the right hand in measure 11, etc.? I feel like it'd be pretty important to hear the chord change at the start of the measure, and while I understand omitting it for playability reasons, you do a similar thing in the previous measure, so I was curious.
  • Similarly, I feel like in measure 24, you should have G and Bb instead of the A for the first two eighth notes.
  • FYI, you can use the indication "loco" to cancel an 8va line.
Fixed everything. Thanks for letting me know about loco, I'll be using that in the future, but for now I'll leave this sheet as is.



Thanks for the feedback! (The fixed files are all in the folder.)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 18, 2018, 03:25:01 AM
Latios212

The Frostlands
  • Maybe add one note to the right hand at the chord changes in measures 13 and 17 to make them a bit more impactful, like you did in measures 15 and 19?
  • If you want to add character indications, I think "Unemotional" would suit the beginning section rather nicely. I think you could use "Warmly" come measure 23—this might be a bit trite, but that's the feeling the Db(add9) chords give me, personally.
I don't particularly feel like adding character indications in this sheet right now, but making that change to m. 13 and 17 sounds good. I did that, thanks!

"Wintown":
[PDF] (http://bit.ly/2fVNHGt)[MUS] (http://bit.ly/2vD9tGk)[MID] (http://bit.ly/2fX0EQo)[Original] (http://bit.ly/2wdVAOp)
Looks pretty good; I adjusted the layout a bunch and changed some spellings before moving to checked once. (You can see the mus file here (https://www.dropbox.com/s/8eajd3kqxgdrnsc/Wintown.mus?dl=1))



Also adding one last sheet. "Pokke Village":

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 18, 2018, 09:22:28 PM
Cenwen
  • I feel like the composer and arranger names are a tad too close together.
  • I'm pretty sure the first chord of measure 2 (and 10, etc.) is G minor (in second inversion). Also, I hear the G chord in measure 4 in root position.
  • I hear a C as the top note in measure 6.
  • Maybe consider adding more chord notes to the right hand? The left hand always has such thick chords (frequently in the lower register, too) that I feel like the texture gets a bit muddy and imbalanced at times. I find this especially striking in measures 18–22. I'm not saying you should have only octaves in the left hand and all the chord notes in the right—just a better balance.
  • I don't hear the G going down to F in measure 26.
  • Personally, I'd put the C dyad in measure 29 an octave lower and strike a full C-G-C-Eb-G-C chord spanning the entire lower staff on beat 3—I believe this would sound more final. Also, you could add another measure after that and tie the low Cs over (to be held with sostenuto pedal).

Whoops about that chord in bar 2.  In bar 6 yeah the C is at the top but I feel like the G really pops out of the mix to me and I'd like to emphasise it at the top.  In general this is a pretty unconventional texture, I know, but it's not unintentional.  Voicing all the chords in the lower register gives a really dark sound that I like for this piece, and also it keeps the melody really pure which is something I wanted to achieve.  For bar 26, I can hear it but it's very faint; I put it in though because I really liked the way it sound  With regards to that final bar, no offense, but I really would not want to voice it that way at all.


Fourth Chapter — On the Ground
  • I know Wikipedia lists it with a hyphen, but using proper typography, "On the Ground" should be introduced with a colon or an em dash.
  • You know what I'd normally say here, so I'm not even going to say it.
  • For the chords stabs like in the first four measures, I'd suggest you lower the D by an octave where it's possible. You have all the notes down, but (articulation aside) your current Bbmaj7(#11) voicing gives the chord a rather mellow sound; changing the bass notes makes a big difference, and putting the D in the left hand leaves you with a stack of fourths on top, which gives a much harsher sound.
  • In measure 5, etc., I recommend adding a D to the left hand octaves. Same thing for measures 9–10.
  • Personally, I'd have used an unmeasured trill in measures 11-12.
  • In measure 13, I'd leave out the lower left-hand A. I hear a C at the start of measure 17, and I'd add an F# or something to the lower Bn just to fatten it up a bit.
  • From measure 38 until the end, I'm pretty sure all the right hand chords have an En, and the second dissonace sounds mch more to me like A-Bb than G-A. For loud chords like in measure 38, I'd voice this D-E-A-Bb-D, and I'd drop the lower D for softer chords like in measure 40. (Is there a reason you have a full two measures of loud chords before dropping?) I don't hear a change in texture as drastic as you have in measures 50–53; maybe just cut the A but keep E-Bb-D?
  • For the rolled chords in measures 38 and 46, I highly suggest putting Bb-G-D instead: personally, I don't hear an F in the chord, but even if it were there, the dominant colour is minor, so ideally you'd want a minor triad to act as your base to add chord extensions over. Also, I don't hear the follow-up sforzando E.
  • Similar to the above point, I'd voice the chord in measure 54 as Bb-G-Bb-D-E-G-D—I still don't hear an F.
  • For 56 to the end, maybe go with E-Bb-D in the right hand?

Oof, here's the big one.  I kept the title to stay in line with all of my other Drakengard sheets, and also because that's what it is on any source I can find.  I didn't change the voicing of the main ostinato, and my reasoning was that I wanted to preserve it's sound throughout the entire piece rather than changing the voicing based on the other things going on.  For those low octaves in bar 5, I actually had it written like that originally and I can't really remember why I changed it (I've put them back in).  I kept the the semiquavers in bar 11-12 because there's loads of ways that a pianist might play it if it's just a trill rather than written out explicitly.  Whoops on that lower A in bar 13.  For the rest:
-I changed the Fs to Gs in respective chords.
-I added Ens to the right hand chords.
-I kept the En octaves in the left hand because I can hear that clearly.
-With regards to those texture changes in 50-53, those were just a mistake that I've fixed now.
That last section 38+ is a real pain but I'm actually feeling pretty happy with it now, thanks for the help.

The Immortal Country
  • Maybe unslash the grace note in measure 53.
  • I don't hear the tie from measure 57 to 58, but even if it is there, it looks a bit weird considering you're asking for a mordent.
  • I'd make the first triad in measure 62 Bb-F-D for consistency.

All fixed.

Snow in Summer
  • Y u do this to me?
  • It's really good. I just suggest you add a C in the right hand chord in measure 63, and maybe consider adding the trombone part in measures 65–80 (I'm curious as to why you'd leave it out).

I added that C in.  I left out the trombone part because, sometimes, I think simplicity is the best way to go.

Big thanks for checking through those, especially that Drakengard piece.  (Hope your ears don't hurt too much.)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 18, 2018, 10:07:27 PM
This will be my final submission: Final Fantasy VI - The Mines of Narshe

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 18, 2018, 11:48:26 PM
Some feedback:

Latios's Snow Bowling Minigame:

Latios's The Frostlands

D3ath's Buried in Snow

D3ath's Esto Gaza

Libera's Cenwen

E. Gadd's Gelato Beach

Levi's Secret Mine
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 12:02:00 AM
Libera's Cenwen
  • It looks like Dynamedion's specific composers has actual listed for this soundtrack on VGMdb and elsewhere: Pierre Langer and Tilman Sillescu. Up to you if you want to specifically credit them or not, but I would.
  • Some of the arpeggio markings are a bit close to barlines and accidentals in some spots.
  • Other than that, this sheet gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.

Updated.  Thanks for checking!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 19, 2018, 12:10:43 AM
Just wanted to say: there are other ways of indicating swing eighths than using the default Finale tempo indication, if you want.
I know. I'm just lazy :P

The left hand G#s should be Abs, because this is an augmented sixth chord.
Fixed.

I hear the end of measure 1 more like this (the F is sharp from earlier in the measure):
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/nnK4ppu.png)
[close]
Measure 3 would cut out the last F# and have the last G as an eighth note.
Try slowing the song down, it's definitely the way I have it currently written.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 12:59:01 AM
Latios212

Pokke Village

Nostalgia. That is all.
-I'm not hearing the Ab in the right hand of bar 12.
-The melody Eb in bar 24 sounds like it only sustains for a quaver, rather than a minim.  (That also means you could probably write that bar entirely in one layer if you wanted to.)
-I'm hearing a D as the last note of bar 12 rather than a C.  The contour also makes more sense that way to me.
-I'm hearing an Eb as the last note of bar 22 rather than a F.
-There's a strong Gb in bar 38 that you're missing from the chord.
-Maybe I'm getting the wrong part here, but I'm hearing a standard Eb major arpeggio in bar 47 (so ending on Eb rather than D).
-Bar 52 onwards, could you have another look at the left hand part for me?  Sometimes I'm hearing as you wrote it, but at others I'm hearing something completely different (e.g. bar 52).
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 01:05:57 AM
Yug Guy

Stage Clear

This one is a bit easier!

Try slowing the song down, it's definitely the way I have it currently written.
-Can confirm.

-Can we spell the G# in the right hand in bars 1 and 3 as Abs just so we're using a different scale degree?  It'll look way nicer that way.

I haven't got anything other than that.  Nice.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 19, 2018, 01:19:44 AM
-Can we spell the G# in the right hand in bars 1 and 3 as Abs just so we're using a different scale degree?  It'll look way nicer that way.
We sure can!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 19, 2018, 01:22:31 AM
Latios's Snow Bowling Minigame:
  • This is good and gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.
Cool, moved to accepted

Latios's The Frostlands
  • I know this is really nitpicky, but preferably the key change at m39 should only cancel out 3 of the flats instead of all of them and then adding 2, if that makes sense. Change the 5-flat section to Bb minor (without changing accidentals of course) or change the 2-flat section to Bb major so that Finale changes the key "correctly". Other than that, this sheet gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.
Ooh good catch, thanks. Fixed and moved to accepted

D3ath's Buried in Snow
  • Everything checks out. If you want, you can make the 2 pairs of 8th rests (m23 and 39) as a quarter rest, but I don't think it's necessary. This gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.
Moving to accepted, D3ath, let us know if you do want to make this change.

D3ath's Esto Gaza
  • Everything here is fantastic, I love the harmonies here especially. This is getting my Official Static Seal of Approval™.
Cool, moved to accepted

Libera's Cenwen
  • It looks like Dynamedion's specific composers are actually listed for this soundtrack on VGMdb and elsewhere: Pierre Langer and Tilman Sillescu. Up to you if you want to specifically credit them or not, but I would.
  • Some of the arpeggio markings are a bit close to barlines and accidentals in some spots.
  • Other than that, this sheet gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.
Updated.  Thanks for checking!
Cool, moved to accepted
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 01:44:44 AM
We sure can!

Sweet, approved!

LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars


Wonder of the Stars
  • Your metronome marking should be to the right of your character indication. Also, I find the latter a bit redundant.
  • You don't need a double barline every eight measures—they're generally only used when changing key signatures, at the start of a new section (i.e. when a piece is divided into "movements" that are written continuously instead of separately), or when there's a dramatic shift in tone, texture, etc. This applies to your other arrangements as well.
  • You could hide all the layer 2 half rests in measures 13–20; unless the piece is very contrapuntal, and it's important to be able to follow all the voices very clearly, it's OK to just have as many rests as are necessary for rythmic clarity.
  • Maybe lower the systems on the second page so the empty space at the top and bottom of the page is more even.

-The character indication should also be to the left of the tempo marking, but I'm fine with the character indication you've given.  D3ath is saying that peaceful and calm convey the same thing, so it's pointless to put them together.  But to be honest, I think there are enough types of calm that distinguishing it as peaceful is meaningful. 
-Agreed on the double barlines.
-I don't have a problem really with the second layer rests, but I do think that perhaps bars 19-20 would look neater in one layer (the rests are being forced up very high here.)  Alternatively you could hide the rests, but I don't think I'd hide the rests in bars 13-16; they're not really doing any harm and I try to avoid hiding rests if I can.
-You could re-space the systems on the second page, but I don't really see it as a problem.

Anyway, onto my feedback:

-Oh no the bracket thing has happened again.  I'm talking about bar 24.  An easy solution to this would be to remove the brackets on the note here and in bar 28.  The thinking would be that you don't need them because the two keys aren't being pressed at the same time.  If you do want to keep the brackets, you're going to need to fix the issue in bar 24.  I don't have much experience with the issue; perhaps Latios can help?

And that's it; nice stuff.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 19, 2018, 01:57:13 AM
I hear the end of measure 1 more like this (the F is sharp from earlier in the measure):
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/nnK4ppu.png)
[close]
Measure 3 would cut out the last F# and have the last G as an eighth note.
Try slowing the song down, it's definitely the way I have it currently written.
No, the song definitely does descend to F# like D3ath said. Furthermore, the left hand doubles that F#, and the A (second note) in measure 2 is not there at all. Haven't worked out the rhythms yet - it's really weird - but this does need to be fixed.

EDIT: I tried poking around with it. Check the file in the folder and see if that looks good to you.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 19, 2018, 02:05:13 AM
I'm fine with the character indication you've given.

Of course you are.

D3ath's Buried in Snow
  • Everything checks out. If you want, you can make the 2 pairs of 8th rests (m23 and 39) as a quarter rest, but I don't think it's necessary. This gets my Official Static Seal of Approval™.

I prefer it with two eighth rests, and it takes up a little less vertical space like that, which I like because it's high above the staff and I really hate 8va lines.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 02:14:45 AM
Whoops Yug Guy I was looking at the wrong bar, my bad.  I've checked Latios' correction and it seems right to me.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 02:32:40 AM
Static

Flamesgrace

Looks great!  Might I suggest a different distribution though?  Your current one scrunches up the top and the bottom of the second page,  which I sought to alleviate.

Spoiler
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/524759706317881345/unknown.png)
[close]

I might have botched some markings/slurs in the picture (those can easily be fixed), but I think the sheet looks a lot more balanced this way.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Yug_Guy on December 19, 2018, 02:39:07 AM
EDIT: I tried poking around with it. Check the file in the folder and see if that looks good to you.
approved
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 19, 2018, 02:40:04 AM
approved
cool
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 19, 2018, 02:56:24 AM
Latios212

Pokke Village

Nostalgia. That is all.
-I'm not hearing the Ab in the right hand of bar 12.
-The melody Eb in bar 24 sounds like it only sustains for a quaver, rather than a minim.  (That also means you could probably write that bar entirely in one layer if you wanted to.)
-I'm hearing a D as the last note of bar 12 rather than a C.  The contour also makes more sense that way to me.
-I'm hearing an Eb as the last note of bar 22 rather than a F.
-There's a strong Gb in bar 38 that you're missing from the chord.
-Maybe I'm getting the wrong part here, but I'm hearing a standard Eb major arpeggio in bar 47 (so ending on Eb rather than D).
-Bar 52 onwards, could you have another look at the left hand part for me?  Sometimes I'm hearing as you wrote it, but at others I'm hearing something completely different (e.g. bar 52).
- Oops that was a misclick. Meant to make that a rest.
- You're right it doesn't sustain that long, but I wanted to keep that E in a separate layer to demonstrate that the melody resolves. I've changed it to a quarter and flipped the other layer down except for the melody C at the end to differentiate the parts.
- Yes that sounds great.
- Still hearing that as an F.
- Yep, sounds good
- I think m. 47 is Cm9. I heard the Eb and tried changing it to a D in the LH there since I wasn't sure how much I liked repeating the E flat and having the major second between it and the F, but upon trying it out again it sounds fine. Updated.
- Went through the last eight bars again, gave the LH another look, and added in harmonies in the RH that I forgot to before. Hopefully better? :P
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 19, 2018, 03:22:43 AM
- Oops that was a misclick. Meant to make that a rest.
- You're right it doesn't sustain that long, but I wanted to keep that E in a separate layer to demonstrate that the melody resolves. I've changed it to a quarter and flipped the other layer down except for the melody C at the end to differentiate the parts.
- Yes that sounds great.
- Still hearing that as an F.
- Yep, sounds good
- I think m. 47 is Cm9. I heard the Eb and tried changing it to a D in the LH there since I wasn't sure how much I liked repeating the E flat and having the major second between it and the F, but upon trying it out again it sounds fine. Updated.
- Went through the last eight bars again, gave the LH another look, and added in harmonies in the RH that I forgot to before. Hopefully better? :P

Yee.

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: LeviR.star on December 19, 2018, 05:00:05 AM
LeviR.star

Secret Mine
  • I believe I've said this multiple times, but I've never once seen a 15ma line used in a professional edition of a piece of music—and it's definitely not because I haven't seen many pieces that reach the extreme notes of the piano, because I have. The customary way to write this would be an octave higher and using a regular 8va line. Likewise, both hands should be written without 8va lines from measure 23 onwards. The rest seems fine to me.
Winterland (Stage 5)
  • Metronome marking should go right of the character indication.
  • The Ebs from measure 1–12 should all be D#s; see how they resolve up to En in the following measures? The harmony is I-V-I-V..., with your I chord being C major with added sixth and your V being G augmented. Same thing goes for the Abs in measures 13–24, which should be G#s (the one in measure 25 is fine—notice how it resolves "down" to G).
  • The customary way of indication that the first note is "tenuto" in this bass pattern is by slurring it to the following note—this is because the slur implies the motion which the pianist has to do to perform this articulation, whereas the tenuto does not.
Wonder of the Stars
  • Your metronome marking should be to the right of your character indication. Also, I find the latter a bit redundant.
  • You don't need a double barline every eight measures—they're generally only used when changing key signatures, at the start of a new section (i.e. when a piece is divided into "movements" that are written continuously instead of separately), or when there's a dramatic shift in tone, texture, etc. This applies to your other arrangements as well.
  • You could hide all the layer 2 half rests in measures 13–20; unless the piece is very contrapuntal, and it's important to be able to follow all the voices very clearly, it's OK to just have as many rests as are necessary for rythmic clarity.
  • Maybe lower the systems on the second page so the empty space at the top and bottom of the page is more even.

- Ok, I moved everything up an octave and replaced the 15ma. It's weird seeing so many ledger lines, but I believe you

- Right. Moved
- Makes sense to me. Fixed
- That looks better. Also fixed

Updaters: Can I have this ^^ above sheet renamed to just "Winterland"?

- I never really thought about that. How's "With peaceful nature"?
- I'll keep that in mind in the future. Double barlines removed
- Yea, I can hide those rests, no problem
- You got it. Systems moved down a little

LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

-The character indication should also be to the left of the tempo marking, but I'm fine with the character indication you've given.  D3ath is saying that peaceful and calm convey the same thing, so it's pointless to put them together.  But to be honest, I think there are enough types of calm that distinguishing it as peaceful is meaningful. 
-Agreed on the double barlines.
-I don't have a problem really with the second layer rests, but I do think that perhaps bars 19-20 would look neater in one layer (the rests are being forced up very high here.)  Alternatively you could hide the rests, but I don't think I'd hide the rests in bars 13-16; they're not really doing any harm and I try to avoid hiding rests if I can.
-You could re-space the systems on the second page, but I don't really see it as a problem.

Anyway, onto my feedback:

-Oh no the bracket thing has happened again.  I'm talking about bar 24.  An easy solution to this would be to remove the brackets on the note here and in bar 28.  The thinking would be that you don't need them because the two keys aren't being pressed at the same time.  If you do want to keep the brackets, you're going to need to fix the issue in bar 24.  I don't have much experience with the issue; perhaps Latios can help?

And that's it; nice stuff.

- This sheet was made back when I was insistent on including character indications in every sheet, so it doesn't really matter a whole lot to me now. D3ath is right; I'll change it to something else
- Rests in 19 - 20 hidden
- Seems fine to me. Is there a problem you see with the systems?

- I never knew that about the brackets/parantheses. I'll take them out

Question for anyone: Should I include some pedal markings in "Wonder of the Stars"? I need someone's input on whether or not it fits the piece.

Also, I'll get to the feedback on "Anti-Claus" tomorrow, because it needs more work than the rest of these. Everything else in my folder is updated.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Trasdegi on December 19, 2018, 09:48:17 PM
Looks pretty good; I adjusted the layout a bunch and changed some spellings before moving to checked once. (You can see the mus file here (https://www.dropbox.com/s/8eajd3kqxgdrnsc/Wintown.mus?dl=1))

Thanks for checking it. Changes look good to me!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 01:04:01 AM
LeviR.star

Secret Mine

Looks great, just got a few picky things.
-Could we start the first 8va a little more to the right to better cover that first note?  I just think it'd look a little neater that way.
-Do you want to bring the pedal for that final bar of rests?  I'd make that explicit if I were you.
-Some of the bars need re-spacing.  Either just laboriously go through clicking on them all or I believe there is a actually a shortcut somewhere, but I don't remember what it is.

Trasdegi

Wintown

-Quite subtle but I think the bass in bar 6 and bar 10 moves to the En/Fb on the second note rather than the third.

To save dealing with file types if you let me know whether you're happy with that change I'll change it myself and put it in accepted since it looks good otherwise.

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 01:29:40 AM
LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

I've moved this to checked once.  If you do add in those pedal markings let us know.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 20, 2018, 01:35:14 AM
Updaters: Can I have this ^^ above sheet renamed to just "Winterland"?
Ye. Also your page 2 header info was still misaligned. Looks super neat though aside from that; I've fixed that and accepted

LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

I've moved this to checked once.  If you do add in those pedal markings let us know.
Same for this one haha. Fixed that and accepted
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 20, 2018, 02:11:15 AM
Th3Gavst3r

Vanilla Lake
  • Just change every note you've written with an accidental natural to its enharmonic written with a sharp (so B#, Cx, E#, etc.), and it'll be good. Unofficial seal of approval.
Agree with this, except for the B-Cn-C# figure in m. 1, 3, 9, 11. I think this would be better as a minor third rather than an augmented second, and using Cn would avoid B# conflicting with Bn in the left hand. (It's also easier to read as Cn.)

Gav's been busy, so I updated the files with the rest.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 02:12:14 AM
Agree with this, except for the B-Cn-C# figure in m. 1, 3, 9, 11. I think this would be better as a minor third rather than an augmented second, and using Cn would avoid B# conflicting with Bn in the left hand. (It's also easier to read as Cn.)

Gav's been busy, so I updated the files with the rest.

Wooooooo.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: LeviR.star on December 20, 2018, 02:34:54 AM
LeviR.star

Secret Mine

Looks great, just got a few picky things.
-Could we start the first 8va a little more to the right to better cover that first note?  I just think it'd look a little neater that way.
-Do you want to bring the pedal for that final bar of rests?  I'd make that explicit if I were you.
-Some of the bars need re-spacing.  Either just laboriously go through clicking on them all or I believe there is a actually a shortcut somewhere, but I don't remember what it is.

- why Finale does that by default, I will never know. Fixed
- Deku must've hidden the "Pedal Up" marking, so I un-hid it
- hmm, strange. Fixed

LeviR.star

Wonder of the Stars

I've moved this to checked once.  If you do add in those pedal markings let us know.

I've decided to leave pedal markings out. They're not really what I want for this piece. Folder updated.

Also, I would like my Daze Before Christmas removed by an updater. It needs more work than I have time for, I don't know if I'll like the results when I alter it for playability, and I only arranged it last year because it was as close to being a festive sheet as I could find, not because I liked the song.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 02:43:39 AM
LeviR.star

Secret Mine

Accepted!

Wonder of the Stars

That's totally cool, thanks for letting us know.

Daze Before Christmas

Sure thing.  And might I add that's very conscientious of you.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 20, 2018, 03:00:35 AM
Libera - Snow in Summer
Looks great. Just a few comments:
- Double barline at the segno in m. 49?
- Strongly suggest flats in m. 78 LH.
- I know you're consistently writing 3 voices here, but m. 23 and 39 sound pretty empty without the C to emphasize the suspension.
- I second D3ath's suggestion of adding in more in the RH of m. 65-80, but up to you.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 03:02:17 AM
Static

The Mires of Narshe

Looks great really, just a few things.

-I'd change the angles on the cross staff beams in bar 3 and 7 so they look like normal ascending couplets.
-Talked to you about removing the straight 8ths direction as 16ths aren't swung in 8ths swing.

Flamesgrace

Brilliant, moving to accepted.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 20, 2018, 03:11:27 AM
I prefer it with two eighth rests, and it takes up a little less vertical space like that, which I like because it's high above the staff and I really hate 8va lines.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, just wanted to make sure. Sounds good to me.

Flamesgrace

Brilliant, moving to accepted.
I already made the measure distribution changes and we discussed this on Discord, so I wanted to clarify this decision here. The updated file is in the folder.

Static
The Mires of Narshe

Looks great really, just a few things.

-I'd change the angles on the cross staff beams in bar 3 and 7 so they look like normal ascending couplets.
-Talked to you about removing the straight 8ths direction as 16ths aren't swung in 8ths swing.
All fixed.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 03:28:08 AM
Static

The Mires of Narshe

Looks good.

Libera

Snow in Summer

Wait.

Libera - Snow in Summer
Looks great. Just a few comments:
- Double barline at the segno in m. 49?
- Strongly suggest flats in m. 78 LH.
- I know you're consistently writing 3 voices here, but m. 23 and 39 sound pretty empty without the C to emphasize the suspension.
- I second D3ath's suggestion of adding in more in the RH of m. 65-80, but up to you.

-I put a double barline 8 bars previously for the drums, and I don't want to overuse them really.
-I put these in, since for some reason when I wrote this I decided to put courtesy accidentals everywhere else. Am I going ... soft?
-Yeah I missed that C since I was thinking very horizontally when I did this, and I must've assumed it was three parts throughout.  I guess one part splits there; added in.
-To differentiate this section from the previous section, I opted for a light texture and that's why I've kept the trombones out and I think I'd like to keep it that way.

Thanks for going through that one, it's quite the lengthy piece.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 20, 2018, 03:36:22 AM
Snow in Summer

Wait.

-I put a double barline 8 bars previously for the drums, and I don't want to overuse them really.
-I put these in, since for some reason when I wrote this I decided to put courtesy accidentals everywhere else. Am I going ... soft?
-Yeah I missed that C since I was thinking very horizontally when I did this, and I must've assumed it was three parts throughout.  I guess one part splits there; added in.
-To differentiate this section from the previous section, I opted for a light texture and that's why I've kept the trombones out and I think I'd like to keep it that way.

Thanks for going through that one, it's quite the lengthy piece.
No problem. Looks great now!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: E. Gadd Industries on December 20, 2018, 07:58:38 AM
Everything's been updated on Gelato Beach with the exception of one thing. Static, when I listen back to the original (Bass-BoostedTM), I'm not hearing the last 8th in m16 LH as an A, but as an E (as it is in Libera's suggested fixes). I'm still willing to fix it even now, but I want to point it out and give others the chance to weigh in with their thoughts. Also, with regard to the tempo marking issue (Tranquiloso v. Tranquillo)

I'm not sorry
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ac/ab/7a/acab7a2f616686dee2a1e1117dd9a590.jpg)
[close]
Thanks, everyone! : D

EDIT: RIP I forgot the most important part of the post. Here's the file download link for convenience: https://www.dropbox.com/s/pwew8fewlgv039r/34.%20Gelato%20Beach.musx?dl=1
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: InsigTurtle on December 20, 2018, 11:05:29 AM
Regarding Gelato Beach, I'm hearing it as an E as well (m16). I'm cool (HAHAHA GEDDIT) with it.

Fahr Outpost - I love the harmony in this one. Not quite sure about the notation of the last chord, since the impression it gives off isn't quite like the original. A bit hard to follow which lines you're writing down in m.1-2 (even in m.6, I'm hearing a slightly different pattern in the second half of the measure).

Will add more to this, just making sure my post doesn't get lost to the heavens

Fourth Chapter ~ On the Ground - Some of your dynamics have weird placing (or maybe my Finale's messing it up), m.37's 8va appears to be clashing with repeat, m.36 LH's last dyad might be able to use ties extending to the repeat, would rewrite m.38 in a way that allows for that D to be accentuated and ring out y'know

Wintown - Only issue i have is with the last chord in m.4 there, doesn't quite sound dissonant enough

The Immortal Country - Hearing a mordent on m.53 instead of just a grace note, not really hearing the m.56 ornamentation though. Was wondering about the bass part in m.37, I'm guessing you've done that so the LH can play the lower voice in the top staff, right?

Snow in Summer - Even though I can tell why some of the harmony was left out from m.65 to 80, that still makes me sad :( Kinda hard to follow after m.81 but I'm hearing an F in m.85 as the main note that comes out (giving the top line a contour that goes like Bb Gb F Eb)

The mines of Narshe - Only comment is I'm wondering what happened to the B in m.4 (since the top line goes C to B)

Another Winter - m.13 and 14's top staff's bottom voice, i'm guessing you switched the F and G in beat 4 of m.13 and changed it slightly in m.14 to avoid 2nds right? likewise in m.25? i'm not the hugest fan of that but i think it's cool.

Pokke Village - This is nice. You could have filled some of the chords out a bit more in m.41 to end (e.g. the G in m.41, m.42) but I can understand if you avoided that since it'd be very dense. Otherwise, I like it.


Also, please respond to your feedback today so we can get things going since tomorrow is the solstice! What a happy day!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 11:52:10 AM
Fourth Chapter ~ On the Ground - Some of your dynamics have weird placing (or maybe my Finale's messing it up), m.37's 8va appears to be clashing with repeat, m.36 LH's last dyad might be able to use ties extending to the repeat, would rewrite m.38 in a way that allows for that D to be accentuated and ring out y'know

All good points;  I've updated the files.  Thanks!

Edit: Oh yeah apart from the collision with the 8va and the repeat; I checked the pdf export and it looks fine there.  I guess it's caused by me using v25, but I'm not exactly clear on how that would result in such a discrepancy.

(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/503742733173784628/525261486235320355/unknown.png)

The Immortal Country - Hearing a mordent on m.53 instead of just a grace note, not really hearing the m.56 ornamentation though. Was wondering about the bass part in m.37, I'm guessing you've done that so the LH can play the lower voice in the top staff, right?

Changed the grace to a mordent.  But I do still hear the ornament in bar 56 clearly.  And yeah that's the intention in the section starting at bar 37.

Snow in Summer - Even though I can tell why some of the harmony was left out from m.65 to 80, that still makes me sad :( Kinda hard to follow after m.81 but I'm hearing an F in m.85 as the main note that comes out (giving the top line a contour that goes like Bb Gb F Eb)

I changed the Eb to an F, I think I was being distracted by the bass note.  Sorry to make you sad, but yeah I do really want to differentiate those sections.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Trasdegi on December 20, 2018, 01:08:40 PM

Trasdegi

Wintown

-Quite subtle but I think the bass in bar 6 and bar 10 moves to the En/Fb on the second note rather than the third.

To save dealing with file types if you let me know whether you're happy with that change I'll change it myself and put it in accepted since it looks good otherwise.


Uuuhh... I listened again to both in parallel, and I heard what I'd written.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 20, 2018, 01:35:15 PM

Uuuhh... I listened again to both in parallel, and I heard what I'd written.

Yeah I checked again and I can hear what you've written, don't mind me.

About that chord in bar 4 that Insig mentioned, perhaps it's got an Ab in it as well?  Have a look at it yourself and see what you think.  Edit: On more listening to the chord, I think what you've written is right.  I think it's just the voicing is a little confusing, but how you've written it makes sense for keeping in line with the rest of the chords.  Probably worth getting someone else in to check though.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: InsigTurtle on December 20, 2018, 01:52:32 PM
To be honest, I heard it as an augmented chord with A natural, but you shouldn't trust me right now since it's 5 am and I've gotta sleep :P Could have been the A natural up top messing with my poor earsies wearsies oopsie woopsie did a fucksy wucksy
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Trasdegi on December 20, 2018, 02:10:47 PM
To be honest, I heard it as an augmented chord with A natural, but you shouldn't trust me right now since it's 5 am and I've gotta sleep :P Could have been the A natural up top messing with my poor earsies wearsies oopsie woopsie did a fucksy wucksy

Yeah, it's probably the An from above. The inversion (not the same as the original for playability) doesn't help either.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 12:27:07 AM
Everything's been updated on Gelato Beach with the exception of one thing. Static, when I listen back to the original (Bass-BoostedTM), I'm not hearing the last 8th in m16 LH as an A, but as an E (as it is in Libera's suggested fixes). I'm still willing to fix it even now, but I want to point it out and give others the chance to weigh in with their thoughts.

So I put it through some wizardry and I can confirm that it is an A 100%.

Also, in the bar directly after that, there's something funny going on with the parenthesis.  Is this just your finale being strange again?  If so I'm happy to fix it for you.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 12:54:44 AM
Static

Fahr Outpost

Weiiiird piece.  Can't really complain though knowing my track record.

The only thing that I'm seeing is the chords in bars 7-8 and 13-14.  They just sound like single notes to me in the original and the major triads give a sound that doesn't really sound anything like the original.  Everything else looks good to me.

Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 12:55:39 AM
Yeah, it's probably the An from above. The inversion (not the same as the original for playability) doesn't help either.
Yeah I agree with this, seems fine as it currently is. (Side note, including an An in the left hand chord would make it significantly more difficult to play.)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 12:58:34 AM
Trasdegi

Wintown

Accepted!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 01:01:49 AM
Pokke Village - This is nice. You could have filled some of the chords out a bit more in m.41 to end (e.g. the G in m.41, m.42) but I can understand if you avoided that since it'd be very dense. Otherwise, I like it.
Thank you! Yeah, I think I'll keep it as is; I want it to be rich but not overwhelmingly so.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: InsigTurtle on December 21, 2018, 01:24:30 AM
Cool with Another Winter, Pokke Village, Snow in Summer, The Immortal Country.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 01:34:59 AM
And third submission (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/brfjq12rhu1alcv/AADmWZ7BT53AOs8y24-y4GdQa?dl=0):

This is a replacement of one of my older submissions (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/3806), which I'd like to include because a) it fits thematically, b) my formatting was garbage at the time and I'd like to eventually replace all of my first few submissions, c) it was accepted without a proper indication of character, which I really want to have for each of my arrangements.
Oh yeah, about this - I've uploaded this to the site immediately instead of including it in this update since there aren't any significant changes other than solely improvements. In the future you can post corrections for your on-site sheets here (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=6181.0) (for free!) unless the changes are large enough to warrant rigorous review again.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Static on December 21, 2018, 03:23:25 AM
Fahr Outpost - I love the harmony in this one. Not quite sure about the notation of the last chord, since the impression it gives off isn't quite like the original. A bit hard to follow which lines you're writing down in m.1-2 (even in m.6, I'm hearing a slightly different pattern in the second half of the measure).

The mines of Narshe - Only comment is I'm wondering what happened to the B in m.4 (since the top line goes C to B)

Another Winter - m.13 and 14's top staff's bottom voice, i'm guessing you switched the F and G in beat 4 of m.13 and changed it slightly in m.14 to avoid 2nds right? likewise in m.25? i'm not the hugest fan of that but i think it's cool.
Fahr Outpost: I changed the last chord to have 2 grace notes, and I think it sounds more accurate this way. Also, I chose the voices in m1-2 and 6 because those are the ones I heard as the most prominent.
Narshe: I just forgot to put those notes there, oops.
Another Winter: Yeah, that's basically why I adjusted the voices.

Static

Fahr Outpost

Weiiiird piece.  Can't really complain though knowing my track record.

The only thing that I'm seeing is the chords in bars 7-8 and 13-14.  They just sound like single notes to me in the original and the major triads give a sound that doesn't really sound anything like the original.  Everything else looks good to me.
I made these chords just parallel 5ths so that way they keep some of the beefiness but aren't really defined.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 03:24:57 AM
Static

Fahr Outpost

Looks great!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 03:33:12 AM
Everything's been updated on Gelato Beach with the exception of one thing. Static, when I listen back to the original (Bass-BoostedTM), I'm not hearing the last 8th in m16 LH as an A, but as an E (as it is in Libera's suggested fixes).
Actually, both are present here. For measures 11, 13, 15, and 16, the bass note bends up a half tone and then back down, but a new tone also comes in as the tone bends back downwards. Either is valid to include since both make musical sense, but I would recommend writing in the new tone instead to parallel the movement in other places like m.. 10 and 18. So m. 11/13/15 would be A-Bb-Bn and 16 would be E-F-A.

In addition, while Static's rhythm for m. 23+ is accurate, it leaves an awkward silence at the beginning of m. 23 and similar places. I think we can compromise with what was written before and throw in a bass note on the beginning of the measures to better anchor the beat in.

I've fixed the files for you (plus a couple other wonky things due to your broken Finale; let me know if you have any qualms)!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 03:35:56 AM
E. Gadd Industries

Gelato Beach

Accepted!  (Unless you have a problem with Latios' edits.)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 03:48:37 AM
Fourth Chapter - On the Ground

Please, never again...

- The chord needs more space in m. 54. You can manually nudge it to the right to give it and the wavy line more space; there's ample room for it.
- DC should be aligned with the end barlines
- Put an even 5 systems on each page instead of 6-5-4.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 03:55:29 AM
Fourth Chapter - On the Ground

Please, never again...

- The chord needs more space in m. 54. You can manually nudge it to the right to give it and the wavy line more space; there's ample room for it.
- DC should be aligned with the end barlines
- Put an even 5 systems on each page instead of 6-5-4.

All done.  Thanks for checking it, and apologies for submitting such horrible sheets for this.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 03:56:52 AM
Looks awful good. (I'd be super happy if you submitted nicer-sounding stuff next time :P)
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: InsigTurtle on December 21, 2018, 04:03:07 AM
Also good with Fahr Outpost and Fourth Chapter - On the Ground so let's get ready to roll
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 04:05:41 AM
Spoiler
(https://www.dairyqueen.com/Global/Food/Kids-Chk-Wrap.png?width=&height=810)
[close]
That's a wrap (not a roll)! Stay tuned for the upcoming update!
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 21, 2018, 04:12:47 AM
Fourth Chapter - On the Ground

Please, never again...

Seriously, what are y'all talking about? It's an awesome piece. The only thing that ever bothered me was measure 37, because for some reason the sound only came out from my headphones' right speaker, which gave me the impression that my head was in a vacuum.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: E. Gadd Industries on December 21, 2018, 04:58:49 AM
E. Gadd Industries

Gelato Beach

Accepted!  (Unless you have a problem with Latios' edits.)

Ah, yes, I have all the qualms, face the wrath of my qualminess It looks good! Thank you to everyone who helped me! This update is looking good : D

EDIT: Wait, is my sheet the only summer sheet in the update?
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: D3ath3657 on December 21, 2018, 05:09:22 AM
Wait, is my sheet the only summer sheet in the update?

I was planning to submit Costa del Sol, but I realized I needed to review it a bit and I didn't have the time before the deadline.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Libera on December 21, 2018, 08:16:22 PM
Seriously, what are y'all talking about? It's an awesome piece. The only thing that ever bothered me was measure 37, because for some reason the sound only came out from my headphones' right speaker, which gave me the impression that my head was in a vacuum.

I agree it's a great piece, but that being said there is a reason it was the last sheet to be checked and accepted.
Title: Re: NSM Winter Update Project Thread
Post by: Latios212 on December 21, 2018, 11:28:20 PM
Great work, all! Moving this to the archive.