Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: R4: Ridge Racer Type 4
Console: PlayStation
Title: Quiet Curves
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Static (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4960)
[attachment deleted by admin]
I approximated the last section, so there's some room left for the performer to decide some things.
I plan on going through this more thoroughly tomorrow, but before I forget much of what I said here (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10556.msg410461#msg410461) applies to certain sections of this sheet as well.
Alright, looking pretty good, mostly minor things, in addition to the above:
- Not so sure about that A#/Bn clash in m. 36, it doesn't sound that dissonant in the original
- It sounds like the RH chords in m. 59 should be lower, bridging the gap between the measures before and after it. It'd also avoid clashing with the melody if you inverted downwards
- Fix the tie/articulation/beam flippings in m. 64 last 3 beats layer 1. Articulations in 94, 98 too
- m. 95: the Abmaj9 chord sounds like there should be a Bb on top (instead of G)
- m. 96 RH beat 2.25 sound like Cn on top
- Db instead of D on bottom of first chord in 99
- First chord in 101 missing C
- Tie directions between 101-102
- Inner tie in 103 needs adjusting
- Dmaj7(b9) symbol in 105 needs some fixing - it's spaced oddly
- In m. 106 it sounds like there's a bass voice that comes in before the last eighth note, not sure if you want to include that or not
- Would suggest moving the augmentation dot up in m. 108 instead of pushing the chord right (or trying something else, it just looks odd at the moment)
I fixed all the things.
For m36, I just left the Bn, and in m106, I'm just gonna leave that voice out. I'd rather have a more bare/simplified bassline in that section.
Cool! Last couple things:
- PDF export is glitching around some of the triplets (64, 98)
- First chord in 101 still missing C? (comment above)
Forgot the C there, oops. Everything has been fixed.
neato
I actually went through this a while ago but never got around to writing anything up. It looks pretty great, just a couple of minor things:
-Is there any reason for not just writing the grace semiquavers in bar 101 as normal semiquavers? I can't really hear a difference and I feel like the rhythm would be easier to read that way without graces confusing things.
-The last two notes in the right hand (bar 109) sound like they have the same dotted quaver semiquaver rhythm (like in bar 105 and the first half of bar 109) rather than quaver quaver.
-You could add in the higher part in the section 67-74 since the right hand isn't doing anything there at the moment. My main motivation for that is to avoid the empty bar (bar 74) since the original is not empty there (or just percussive). But I can see why you also might just want to keep the bass without introducing another part, so let me know what you think.
-The Dn at the start of bar 99 should be a Db.
Quote from: Libera on April 23, 2019, 04:47:38 PM-Is there any reason for not just writing the grace semiquavers in bar 101 as normal semiquavers? I can't really hear a difference and I feel like the rhythm would be easier to read that way without graces confusing things.
Looking at it again, I'm not sure why I put them as grace notes. It definitely sounds like just 16ths. Fixed.
Quote from: Libera on April 23, 2019, 04:47:38 PM-The last two notes in the right hand (bar 109) sound like they have the same dotted quaver semiquaver rhythm (like in bar 105 and the first half of bar 109) rather than quaver quaver.
Those last two notes in 109 definitely sound closer together to me than the first two, but I also don't think its just 2 8ths. I changed it to a triplet rhythm instead.
Quote from: Libera on April 23, 2019, 04:47:38 PM-You could add in the higher part in the section 67-74 since the right hand isn't doing anything there at the moment. My main motivation for that is to avoid the empty bar (bar 74) since the original is not empty there (or just percussive). But I can see why you also might just want to keep the bass without introducing another part, so let me know what you think.
I just had the bass there to contrast the previous section, which had a lot of different stuff going on at once, and also to set up the slow buildup to m91. I thought about adding those parts there, but I think I'd rather keep it as is, including m74.
Quote from: Libera on April 23, 2019, 04:47:38 PM-The Dn at the start of bar 99 should be a Db.
Nice catch, I even had it this way in the chord marking but I never changed the note to match.
Thanks for looking over this one, it's a pretty crazy piece
Why not including the repeat G in the right hand in m1-8 so that it's not so motionless?
Rhythm in m36 RH should just be half note and half note like m34.
In the section starting at m40, the chords only change on the downbeat of a measure, not in syncopated rhythm like the melody, so having them follow the same syncopation as the melody is technically not accurate. Regardless of what it should be, though, having the same rhythm in Layer 2 for the whole phrase feels a bit repetitive to me. So here's my suggestion:
(https://i.imgur.com/DsjkPkq.png)
Where it alternates between having Layer 2 come in on the downbeat and having it syncopated like Layer 1. I actually really like how this sounds and how it keeps the syncopated rhythms a bit more varied and interesting. It's up to you, but I would be happy if you included this.
I'm not a fan of dotted rests (m52 LH)... I guess if you think it's appropriate, then it's fine (maybe to save space), but I've learned that it generally should be split up into two rests (eighth + sixteenth in this case).
Have you considered implementing the quiet chimes into the RH in m67–74? Or alternatively, just m71–74 and leave m67–70 blank.
The forte marking and the "piano solo ad lib" are a little close together in m91... move the forte down a bit?
Some of the chord markings in the ad-lib phrase are really close to touching the notes or slurs. Particularly, I think you should move up the Eb9 in m99 and the Bbsus in m100, and you may or may not want to consider adjusting a few other ones upwards like the Cm7 in m94, Abmaj9 m95, Cm7 in m98, and Abmaj9. The notes are cluttered and there's plenty of room above the staff, so I don't see much harm in moving them up a smidge.
That's all. Great sheet... although where do you even find these tracks?
This is Static's auto-responder. He is unable to get to a computer at the moment.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on April 24, 2019, 10:33:46 AMWhy not including the repeat G in the right hand in m1-8 so that it's not so motionless?
Static would like the keep the opening more empty than the rest of the arrangement, and the G is already in bars 7-8 as is.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on April 24, 2019, 10:33:46 AMIn the section starting at m40, the chords only change on the downbeat of a measure, not in syncopated rhythm like the melody, so having them follow the same syncopation as the melody is technically not accurate. Regardless of what it should be, though, having the same rhythm in Layer 2 for the whole phrase feels a bit repetitive to me. So here's my suggestion:
Where it alternates between having Layer 2 come in on the downbeat and having it syncopated like Layer 1. I actually really like how this sounds and how it keeps the syncopated rhythms a bit more varied and interesting. It's up to you, but I would be happy if you included this./quote]
Static decided on changing to make the chords more accurate by placing them on the beat, but didn't really like the alternating rhythms idea so they're all on the beat now.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on April 24, 2019, 10:33:46 AMI'm not a fan of dotted rests (m52 LH)... I guess if you think it's appropriate, then it's fine (maybe to save space), but I've learned that it generally should be split up into two rests (eighth + sixteenth in this case).
Generally I'd agree with you here, but Static thinks that the section is very cluttered already and I'd be inclined to agree with him that the dotted rests are the lesser of two evils here.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on April 24, 2019, 10:33:46 AMHave you considered implementing the quiet chimes into the RH in m67–74? Or alternatively, just m71–74 and leave m67–70 blank.
I think Static already covered this when myself and Latios suggested this, but he'd like to keep this section light as a contrast to the previous bit.
Everything else you mentioned has been edited (including also changing the copyright). Thanks for checking it! (I'm sure Static thanks you as well :P)
I think I'll clear this one out now as well, good stuff everyone!
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot