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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Submission Archive => Topic started by: Zeta on March 30, 2019, 09:07:24 AM

Title: [DELETED] [MUL] Yooka-Laylee - "Main Theme" by Jack
Post by: Zeta on March 30, 2019, 09:07:24 AM
Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Yooka-Laylee
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Main Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Jack (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5682)
Title: Re: [MUL] Yooka-Laylee - "Main Theme" by Jack
Post by: Libera on April 03, 2019, 05:26:50 PM
Hi and welcome!  Let me post a youtube link here (taken directly from your recent PA post) but in future it'd be great if you could do this yourself just to make it easier for us.


Before I get started with the feedback, let's talk about formatting.  Currently the pdf does not match the mus file (I assume the pdf comes from a musescore export).  The pdf file must be made directly from the mus file or it will not be accepted.  The reason for this is that this is the only way of ensuring that the different files all match each other.  The best way to transfer a musescore arrangement onto an mus file is by using Trasdegi's program (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10136.0).  It will likely still need some tidy up after that, but that will do quite a bit of work for you.  Your sheet needs to fit the formatting guidelines which can be found here (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=481.0) and if there is anything that you need doing that you can't do with notepad then you can ask for help here (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=685.0).

Anyway, onto the actual sheet...

-A lot of the time the left hand chords have the correct notes, but the inversions are incorrect.  For example, the very first chord should have a C in the bass rather than an E, same for bar 3, beats 3 and 4 of bar 5 should be Ds rather than Bs etc.  General speaking when voicing chords in an arrangement the main thing that you need to try and keep is the correct bass note while the other voices can be shuffled around if need be.
-Bar 17 should be a D7 chord or some variant thereof rather than an F chord.
-I'd recommend trying to get the correct rhythm in the left hand of the final bar.  Obviously playing four semiquavers in block chords is quite difficult but you could alternate the lowest note in the chord with the upper three and it would give the right sort of feel.
-Missing Gs at the end of bars 12 and 16 in the right hand that lead into the following bars.
-The G in the right hand of the final bar should be a crotchet and the final right hand note should land on beat 3 rather than beat 2.5.
-The measure distribution/page layout is a little off.  Spreading out the bars more evenly across the two pages would be a step in the right direction, and to achieve that the margins should be made narrower along with having less measures per system.
-In bar 4 (and everywhere else with this chord) the chord is an Ab major chord and should be spelt as such.  This means changing the D# to Eb and the G# to Ab.
-The clefs you've used are not used in piano music and as such should be avoided.  You can write the right hand using an 8va if you want or just using ledger lines, and the left hand should definitely be written in treble clef.
-Rhythm groupings: the main ostinato figure that you have used for the left hand should show beat 3 clearly which means that the third crotchet should be written as quaver tied to quaver.  (By the main ostinato figure I mean the figure in bar 3 and used nearly everywhere else.)  Also if you want to keep the left hand in bar 14 as written beat 3 needs to be shown there as well by changing the rhythm groupings.  That being said, I think that the rhythms in bars 13-14 should be changed to the same ostinato rhythm you have everywhere else for uniformity (the guitar isn't doing anything differently rhythm wise in those bars in the original.)

I think that's all I can say for now without being able to see a proper mus file.  If you need any help with anything, be sure to ask and I'll be back once you've updated the files.