Submission Information:
Series: Banjo-Kazooie
Game: Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Breegull Beach
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Jack (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5682)
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Hey I was just browsing around a bit and was going to take a quick look at this - but I noticed your other submission with feedback on it was deleted - https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10678.0 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10678.0)
Was that your doing?
Yes, I decided I'd scrap that project for now, so I didn't want it cluttering up this page. If that's no good, I apologize, but yes - I did it.
That's fine if you would like to shelf it for now, but please give some indication of doing so in the future! Deleting it silently can leave our updaters rather confused and feeling rather unwanted, as the feedback they're giving is seemingly ignored.
Anyway, aside from the above, this looks pretty solid, though I do have a few important things to suggest before we get into the nitty-gritty of checking notes and cleaning up the formatting:
- You have sharps written in a lot of places. These should mostly be flats - take a look at the harmony to make sense of what you wrote. For example, the first half of measure 14 is an A flat chord. Consult step 4 of this guide (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10495.0) for details and feel free to ask if you're confused.
- Think about your staccatos and note lengths a bit. In most places it's fine but I would advise against using staccato'd dotted eighth notes. Consider replacing instances of those with an eighth followed by a sixteenth rest.
- Notes within each beat should be beamed together - for instance the last two left hand notes in measure 3.
poke
Hi -
I know it's been a while, but I fixed the music up using your comments, but I've been using this time trying to clean up the formatting, but as much as I try, I can't "shmoosh" or "unshmoosh" the bars to make the score look nice in the Notepad Version of Finale.
I hope I haven't left anything out, and sorry for the delay.
- Jack
No worries, I started fixing the beaming/formatting stuff up for you. Here's a WIP file. (https://www.dropbox.com/s/vune63v74cmqr8f/Breegull%20Beach.mus?dl=1)
However, I noticed that the video you posted looks to be an unofficial "remastered" version of the original song. We need to be using the original track as reference. Is this the right video?
Video looks fine - thanks a bunch
-Jack
Is there anything I have to do at the moment?
Nope! Just hang tight until we take a closer look at the file I provided.
Ooh - just found this out by accident and I'm glad I did. This tune and the whole soundtrack was composed by Jamie Hughes instead of Grant Kirkhope, which I listed on the score.
Will you still be using the files I provided? If so, I can change it easy enough.
Okay, I've given it a thorough look. Here's an updated file with corrections and formatting (https://www.dropbox.com/s/vune63v74cmqr8f/Breegull%20Beach.mus?dl=1). Things to note (measure numbers will refer to measures in this file) -
- Staccatos aren't necessary in the bass given the original version
- A couple measures were missing around m. 12. Also m. 27-29 currently. On the contrary, there was an extra measure at m. 36. It's also missing the loop.
- Bass was mostly good, but a few points were off a bit like the last note of m. 34.
- In places like m. 18, 34, 42, and 58 when you have the melody dip down a semitone and come back up, use sharps to convey the neighboring accidentals.
- Overall the right hand has the correct structure throughout but there are some incorrect harmonies or upper layer notes here and there. Take a close look at what it looks like now vs. what you had before and let me know if anything's a miss. Notably m. 7-10 and 43-47.
- Not sure why you had two layers in some places; those places do pretty much the same thing as everywhere else with the dyads moving together.
- m. 36-42 should be an octave up
Please feel free to use this file (I can replace the files in the submission if you want) and let me know if anything's off after you look over it.
I've taken a thorough look at your thorough look and it all looks good except I think measures 7 - 10 were right the first time. It might just be me, but my original harmonies sound right.
Otherwise, things look great - thanks!
Looking at Latios' version it does seem to be the correct one, although I think the top line on beat 2 in bar 10 mirrors the lower line (E -> D -> C) rather than A -> B -> C which is different to both of your versions.
Some other things I noticed (all bar numbers refer to Latios' version):
-Why not have the harmony part in the right hand in bars 19-26?
-You could also include the little scoops up to the top note in bar 43, 45, 47 and 49.
-The last bass note in bar 58 should be a D not an E.
Changed things that were suggested -
- In bars 19-26, I put in the harmony part but moved it up an octave, except where the two lines are an octave apart. I left the octaves.
- I added the scoops (grace notes) in 43, 45, and 47, but not in 49, where I hear no scoop.
- I changed the bass note in bar 58
(Edit: Forgot to change the notes in bar 10 - it's changed now in the .mus file)
In bars 19-26, I think that the right hand is identical to the bit in 43-50, minus the scoops, rather than what you've written in (I agree with you that there isn't a scoop in 49 by the way.)
Also it looks like the system distribution and such got messed up but I can fix that afterwards if you like (when you've fixed the above.)
Fixed - I must have gotten a little mixed up there with19-26.
Thanks for help with the formatting - Finale Notepad just isn't up to snuff.
No worries, I've updated the submission files with the same spacing as before. Approved!
Adjusted the spacing a bit further to match what it was like before, particularly regarding space around subsequent page headers.
All good, accepting!
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot