Submission Information:
Series: Other
Game: Etrian Odyssey III: The Drowned City
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Unrest ~ The End of the Raging Waves
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119)
[attachment deleted by admin]
I tried to keep it as playable as possible, but the intro is still a bit rough in that regard.
Also, the midi is set up differently because I couldn't get a repeat system to function how I wanted it to.
Sorry for such a long wait, checking now!
-Dotted crotchet in bar 20 sounds like a Dn rather than an En to me.
-I'm not sure you gain anything by writing the last two systems with two layers and I'd suggest just compressing it down to one layer there (it certainly would make the octaves in the last bar look more standard.)
-In bars 59-61 there's a lower part that plays a little repeated riff (G-F-G-C-Bb) that you might like to include instead of (or in addition to) the current left part.
-The crotchet rests in bars 55-59 look like they're colliding with the minims; I'd just move them up a little.
-Looks like you're missing a grace note C at the start of bar 39 (you've added them everywhere else so for consistency I think it'd be good idea to have this one as well.)
-This is more of a general comment, but sometimes from the sheet it's hard to differentiate the accompaniment from the melody. For example in bar 9 the right hand starts off playing the backing ostinato but then part way through the bar it shifts to the melody. This happens quite a lot on the first two pages of the sheet and I think it might be better to use two layers here to distinguish where the melody actually is. Similarly, it might be a good idea to separate the chords in bars 3 and 7 from the rest of the quavers in the opening eight bars.
-Missing dynamics?
-I'm not sure the 'otherwise, end there.' is necessary since I think that's implied by the optional D.C. after 3rd ending.
-The url looks like it's too high to me, though it might be the margins you've chosen since after I set the vertical positioning to zero it still looked a bit high.
Fixed m20
Changed the last 2 measures
Left m59+ as is because that 2nd layer doesn't fit at all. It just sounds muddier when it's supposed to be at its simplest part.
Considering the differentiation of the melody and other voices, I don't think it's actually that hard at all. For the first part, the melody is everything that isn't chords. For the 2nd part, anything that's not octaves is not the melody. Changing layers wouldn't do much and would just look weird in general because one layer drops out right as another one jumps in.
I didn't feel good about including a lot of dynamics because it's all at pretty much the same volume. Only the beginning sounds a bit quieter, so I indicated it as such.
Everything else fixed.
files updated
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 14, 2019, 05:49:58 PMConsidering the differentiation of the melody and other voices, I don't think it's actually that hard at all. For the first part, the melody is everything that isn't chords. For the 2nd part, anything that's not octaves is not the melody. Changing layers wouldn't do much and would just look weird in general because one layer drops out right as another one jumps in.
I guess I'm generally of the opinion that an arrangement should be playable without knowing the original and that's why I think that the layers are confusing as is, but I appreciate that you've thought about it anyway. If the next updater doesn't have a problem with it either then I'll concede on this point.
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 14, 2019, 05:49:58 PMI didn't feel good about including a lot of dynamics because it's all at pretty much the same volume. Only the beginning sounds a bit quieter, so I indicated it as such.
That's fine, it was just that there weren't any at all previously.
I also noticed that I think you're missing a slur on the grace in bar 51 compared to all of the other graces and the crotchet rest in bar 59 still needs moving up (you got the other two though.)
Everything else looks good. Though I would like another updater's input on the layering (or anyone's really.)
Looks pretty good, just a few final things
- Do you mean "Play LH 8vb"
- Beat 3 LH of m. 5/7 should be connected?
- I'd move the DS text at the end up a bit away from the notes. Also the text above the repeat endings could be nudged up a bit as well
- Slur on grace note missing in m. 51
- Bump the quarter rest in m. 59 up a notch to match the others
I can't believe I missed the first one.
Everything fixed, files updated.
woot
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot