Submission Information:
Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Sun & Pokémon Moon
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Heahea City (Night)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Jordan Knapp (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=1015)
[attachment deleted by admin]
[attachment deleted by admin]
I accidentally submitted a version of the file without some pitch corrections, so I've made those and reuploaded all files.
Hey, nice to see something from you again! (And Pokémon at that ;))
Main thing I have to say about this sheet is to split/tie your notes across beat 3 where applicable.
Other things:
- Bass of m. 5 beat 2.5 should be E. Conversely, beat 3 of m. 6 should be B
- I think it might be worth it to fill out the E and E7 chords out a bit more in m. 5-6
- The melody (er, countermelody really) in measure 10 goes D#-E in beats 1.5-2 instead of C#-D# (the grace note will need adjusting too)
- The first bass note of m. 20 sounds like an F#
- Nudge the dynamics a bit further from the barline/notes stems in m. 21 and 25
- There's a B on beat 1.5 in the right hand of the last measure, not sure if you left that out intentionally? I think it should be present
All relatively small things, great work on this one.
Hey timing on this was lame unfortunately. I'm in Atlanta without my laptop until next Sunday. I'll fix this but it'll be a week or so.
No worries!
poke
Thank you son. I ended up taking an impromptu trip to Florida and New Orleans and then back to Atlanta, but I'll be back with my computer tomorrow.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 08, 2019, 12:18:32 PM- The first bass note of m. 20 sounds like an F#
Just realized I made a typo there, so I fixed it. Also it seems to bend upwards to G# from F#, so it's fine if you want to keep the G#.
Also - the last system only has 2 measures - so you can easily bump one of the 4-measure systems down to 3 to balance it out better.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 08, 2019, 12:18:32 PM- Bass of m. 5 beat 2.5 should be E. Conversely, beat 3 of m. 6 should be B
- I think it might be worth it to fill out the E and E7 chords out a bit more in m. 5-6
- The melody (er, countermelody really) in measure 10 goes D#-E in beats 1.5-2 instead of C#-D# (the grace note will need adjusting too)
- The first bass note of m. 20 sounds like an F#
- Nudge the dynamics a bit further from the barline/notes stems in m. 21 and 25
- There's a B on beat 1.5 in the right hand of the last measure, not sure if you left that out intentionally? I think it should be present
Okay, so I actually put a lot of thought into the whole "beaming across beat 3," but the problem with this is that as a bossa nova-style piece, it would actually be notated like this (3+3+2) in most jazz scores I'm familiar with. I think that's a decent case for keeping it the way I did it, but I'll let you make the final call. I had it out both ways at various points when I made this.
-I went back with the app "Transcribe" (highly recommend this app) and played it at half speed to double check, and the bass note in m. 5 beat 2.5 is definitely a B, not an E. Same for beat 3 of m. 6, it's an E, it's just articulated softer so the stronger B of the previous note appears to continue.
-The lowered 7th of the E chord isn't actually felt until measure 6, when the guitar plays it in a high octave. The most I could consider doing was add the bass E to these higher chords, but with the lower E already sounded at the strong beats, I felt that this was sort of too thick of a texture. I'm open to a second opinion, though.
-Fixed the countermelody in m. 10.
-Again, went back and double checked, and the first note in the bass phrase of m. 20 is actually a G-sharp.
-Adjusted the position of those dynamics.
-I didn't notice that octave B. I put it into my score, but listening to it, the problem is that as a background voice, it actually interrupts the phrase. The real melody here is the F-sharp at the end of m. 29, followed by the quarter rest, followed by the second F-sharp on the second beat of m. 30. You'll notice that I didn't include the F-sharp in that decorative phrase before the repeat, and I think I'd rather keep the B out of it, if only because on piano, it would be difficult to voice it convincingly in the middle of the phrase.
Quote from: Latios212 on August 07, 2019, 07:34:37 PMJust realized I made a typo there, so I fixed it. Also it seems to bend upwards to G# from F#, so it's fine if you want to keep the G#.
Also - the last system only has 2 measures - so you can easily bump one of the 4-measure systems down to 3 to balance it out better.
-Gotcha. Yeah, I think G-sharp is definitely the dominant pitch here.
-I've spaced the measures as you suggested.
Edit: Also, sorry for taking so long with this LOL
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AMOkay, so I actually put a lot of thought into the whole "beaming across beat 3," but the problem with this is that as a bossa nova-style piece, it would actually be notated like this (3+3+2) in most jazz scores I'm familiar with. I think that's a decent case for keeping it the way I did it, but I'll let you make the final call. I had it out both ways at various points when I made this.
Yeah I still think it would be best beaming across beat 3, especially given that the melody doesn't conform to a 3+3+2 pattern (if I'm understanding you right). If you have some examples of those jazz scores you mentioned though, would be happy to look at them (this is something I'm not very familiar with).
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AM-I went back with the app "Transcribe" (highly recommend this app) and played it at half speed to double check, and the bass note in m. 5 beat 2.5 is definitely a B, not an E. Same for beat 3 of m. 6, it's an E, it's just articulated softer so the stronger B of the previous note appears to continue.
Whoops, my bad
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AM-The lowered 7th of the E chord isn't actually felt until measure 6, when the guitar plays it in a high octave. The most I could consider doing was add the bass E to these higher chords, but with the lower E already sounded at the strong beats, I felt that this was sort of too thick of a texture. I'm open to a second opinion, though.
Ah I meant to suggest more specifically including the B in those chords in m. 5-6. It felt a bit strange to me going from triads in the previous measure to open sixths in the next. Up to you, though.
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AM-Fixed the countermelody in m. 10.
Cool. Did you mean to write in Dn instead of Cn for the grace note?
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AM-I didn't notice that octave B. I put it into my score, but listening to it, the problem is that as a background voice, it actually interrupts the phrase. The real melody here is the F-sharp at the end of m. 29, followed by the quarter rest, followed by the second F-sharp on the second beat of m. 30. You'll notice that I didn't include the F-sharp in that decorative phrase before the repeat, and I think I'd rather keep the B out of it, if only because on piano, it would be difficult to voice it convincingly in the middle of the phrase.
I did think it sounded a bit empty there with a rest on the whole first beat, but I see what you mean by it being another voice. I'll leave it up to you.
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AM(...)
Edit: Also, sorry for taking so long with this LOL
Everything else looks good. No worries :P
Bump for arranger.
Thanks. SlowPokemon preparing a master's recital + SlowPokemon teaching Music Theory I + SlowPokemon in research paper hell = slow arrangement by slow
I'll get around to this
-I beamed according to the metric accents through this piece, which after a lot of careful consideration, resulted in certain measures (not very many, only in mm. 2, 4, and similar places) not being rebeamed. The reason for this is because the desired result of the metric accent is syncopation, which according to any music theory textbook I've ever seen, is usually beamed in this way. Overall, my desired result here was to make the sheet cleaner and easier to read according to the beats.
-Filled out the LH chords in mm. 5-6 as requested
-Good catch, the Cn has been changed to Dn
If the beaming still is not up to how you'd like it, anyone has my permission to change it. At this point, I don't want to spend any more time with it because I feel pretty confident about all of my decisions regarding that.
Cool cool. I still don't really agree with the beaming but will wait for another updater to weigh in on that.
I just want to say that I wholly agree with Latios here regarding the beaming.
Quote from: SlowPokemon on August 09, 2019, 10:15:35 AMOkay, so I actually put a lot of thought into the whole "beaming across beat 3," but the problem with this is that as a bossa nova-style piece, it would actually be notated like this (3+3+2) in most jazz scores I'm familiar with. I think that's a decent case for keeping it the way I did it, but I'll let you make the final call. I had it out both ways at various points when I made this.
3+3+2 doesn't really explain the beaming that you've used here at all to me. It seems like you're trying to beam the phrases together? Either way the end result is very hard to parse/read, especially with the way that the left hands beaming interacts with the right hand. I don't think this sheet would lose anything from following standard beaming practices and would gain a tremendous amount in readability. Also, though admittedly I'm not super clued on jazz, I used to play in a big band and I've never seen beaming like this ever before.
While I'm here, I might as well point out other stuff as I see it:
-The composer/arranger info is squashed in at the top with the title and you've got plenty of white space at the bottom of the page to alleviate that.
-The copyright/url is slightly too low. It should be vertically aligned with the bottom margin.
-The alternating dynamics in bars 25-26 might look clearer if the piano was placed above the staff next to the notes it applies to.
-The two slurs in bar 22 are colliding slightly.
-The slur in 12 could come away from the stem a little.
-The slur in 24 is colliding with the sharp symbol.
I happen to be a jazz major (as well as doing library work for a big band) so I hope it's okay if I weigh in on the beaming. Metrical beaming is mainly used in odd meters where the strong beats aren't obvious, which also divides the music into smaller chunks for ease of reading. For example, it is important to know whether 7/8 is meant to be played as 3+2+2 or 2+2+3. This isn't standard practice in 4/4 however.
I have seen simple syncopated rhythms notated across the middle of the bar in 4/4, like off-beat quarter notes or beat 1.5 dotted quarters. However, this is mainly in old handwritten big band charts and the old illegal versions of fake books, and is generally considered more difficult to read by modern standards. I don't know for sure, but my best guess is that discrepancies like this were partially due to copyists with little formal music training (often section players from the band) being employed to copy the parts from the composer's score, as it can vary even between different parts of the same song. Now that notation software is so wide-spread, jazz musicians tend to follow the conventions of music notation more strictly.
The accents in the bossa nova style are meant to be felt rather than read, similar to the way swing eighth notes are written as normal eighth notes but sound completely different. Pulling up any bossa nova tune from a modern fake book (https://www.sheetmusicplus.com/title/desafinado-digital-sheet-music/19433563) (published books, not scans of the old illegal fake books that are easy to find online) will likely show the beat 3 split as well as modern beaming conventions. If you want to make them more clear in the arrangement for someone who might not be familiar with the style, I would recommend putting accent articulations on the notes that you want to be emphasized.
Bump for arranger.
Quote from: SlowPokemon on October 13, 2019, 07:54:39 AMIf the beaming still is not up to how you'd like it, anyone has my permission to change it. At this point, I don't want to spend any more time with it because I feel pretty confident about all of my decisions regarding that.
It'd probably be best to just cancel the submission because I like the sheet the way it is but I don't want to put the required rebeaming off on anyone else — I'm not trying to be difficult, that's just how the situation is
I don't mind doing it if you don't mind me editing the sheet! I'll get to it tomorrow if I have time.
Just a bit late... I uploaded new files with the adjusted beaming (plus a couple of other minor fixes like the roll symbols). I'm done with this one now, looks good!
Thumbs-up
Just wanted to give this a quick face-lift, with edits to the slurs, beam angles, dynamic positioning, casting-off, kerning, white-space allocation, etc.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/401094846107877377/711424841709912094/Screen_Shot_2020-05-16_at_9.42.24_PM.png?width=813&height=520
This submission has been accepted by Bespinben (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=2510).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot