Submission Information:
Series: Fire Emblem
Game: Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: A Lonely Figure
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291)
[attachment deleted by admin]
It begins.
[Original] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/qk0g5r4gmas83pl/A%20Lonely%20Figure.mp3?dl=1)
Very nice, and spot-on. Just a few tiny things:
- I think the chords in m. 17-18 should be thinned out a bit; they're not the same as before. In particular I don't hear the major second intervals - rather just the F#-B-E triad in both. Likewise, not quite hearing the E in m. 20.
- Would suggest putting the last D# in the right hand.
- You could move everything down on the page a bit to give the composer info more space.
Sorry for responding a little late, I usually try to respond to people quickly on my submissions but I had some things come in real life that meant I couldn't. Thanks for checking it!
Quote from: Latios212 on August 07, 2019, 07:23:30 PM- Would suggest putting the last D# in the right hand.
- You could move everything down on the page a bit to give the composer info more space.
Both of these should be fixed!
Quote from: Latios212 on August 07, 2019, 07:23:30 PM- I think the chords in m. 17-18 should be thinned out a bit; they're not the same as before. In particular I don't hear the major second intervals - rather just the F#-B-E triad in both.
Despite it perhaps looking like it, I didn't just put those chords in because I assumed that they would be the same as before. I took some of the extra pitches from the reverse sound that plays grows over the course of the bar to try and get the same sort of harmony without doing something intrusive like putting crescendo tremolo chords in the left hand. I personally thought that was a good solution, but if you still don't like it then let me know.
Quote from: Libera on August 11, 2019, 02:16:01 PMDespite it perhaps looking like it, I didn't just put those chords in because I assumed that they would be the same as before. I took some of the extra pitches from the reverse sound that plays grows over the course of the bar to try and get the same sort of harmony without doing something intrusive like putting crescendo tremolo chords in the left hand. I personally thought that was a good solution, but if you still don't like it then let me know.
I think it's fine if you want to keep it; I was just noting that the piano part sounded subtly emptier than the first time. I'd personally take the notes out, but up to you.
Approved!
Stuff:
- m11 LH sounds like a another rolled chord to me.
- m24 RH should have a slur on the grace note.
- This is kind of a nitpick, but you have "sempre pedale" marked on the sheet, but it looks like you have more specific intended pedal markings, so I would probably change it to "con pedale".
- The thing about the chords in m17-18 could go either way for me, but I would personally leave the extra notes in.
Quote from: Static on August 18, 2019, 10:41:47 AMm11 LH sounds like a another rolled chord to me.
m24 RH should have a slur on the grace note.
Fixed. I normally don't put slurs on grace notes when I've written in pedal but ... I'll do it just for you, Static. Also, the practice has grown on me over the year.
Quote from: Static on August 18, 2019, 10:41:47 AMThis is kind of a nitpick, but you have "sempre pedale" marked on the sheet, but it looks like you have more specific intended pedal markings, so I would probably change it to "con pedale".
You're right in that I've used sempre pedale as one would use a con pedale marking, which is not how I've used or seen sempre pedale used previously so I've changed it to how I usually use it. I still think it works though.
Quote from: Static on August 18, 2019, 10:41:47 AMThe thing about the chords in m17-18 could go either way for me, but I would personally leave the extra notes in.
I think I will leave them in then, they give a fuller sound which is closer to the original I think, rather than just directly transcribing the piano notes. I definitely understand your viewpoint though, Latios.
Thanks for checking!
Quote from: Libera on August 19, 2019, 10:57:52 AMI normally don't put slurs on grace notes when I've written in pedal but ... I'll do it just for you, Static.
Wow, I feel honored lol
I like using grace note slurs all the time because it makes them feel more connected to the main note, but of course this is more subjective. I think just aesthetically it adds to the sheet, even if it does nothing to the sound, especially with pedal use.
Well anyway, everything looks excellent, so I'll go ahead and
accept now.
This submission has been accepted by Static (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4960).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot