Submission Information:
Series: Ace Attorney
Game: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Trés Bien
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Onionleaf (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3620)
[attachment deleted by admin]
(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/aceattorney/images/3/32/Armstrong_Dancing.gif/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/185?cb=20120728222400)
Might I suggest turning the 16th-note pairs in the LH from m5 onwards into just single 8th notes? The 16th notes feel unpianistic and hard to play, and listening to the original, they're very easily heard as just 8th notes.
In m3, there are some A's that are missing directly on each beat (not the A's you have between each beat). The way I hear the melody is A-C-A-D-A-D#-A-E (with the A being higher than the other notes)—you have the C, D, D#, and E, but not the A's.
Is it necessary to use staccatissimos for the entire melody? It looks kind of unnatural, and I feel like the meaning of playing the note shorter than a normal staccato is lost when they're used so much.
It feels awkward to jump directly from the descending pattern at the end (which should resolve to the low A) back to the high notes in the beginning, not to mention that it's probably a difficult jump for the hand. I would suggest substituting one of the notes on m1 beat 1 for the low A in subsequent loops (you could notate the note directly with m1 with a written note or add another measure before the repeat).
*thud* Oh, sorry for bumping into you there.
Hiii, thanks for the feedback and bump, sorry for the wait. >.<
Quote from: mastersuperfan on September 01, 2019, 09:11:24 AMMight I suggest turning the 16th-note pairs in the LH from m5 onwards into just single 8th notes? The 16th notes feel unpianistic and hard to play, and listening to the original, they're very easily heard as just 8th notes.
Yep, agreed!
QuoteIn m3, there are some A's that are missing directly on each beat (not the A's you have between each beat). The way I hear the melody is A-C-A-D-A-D#-A-E (with the A being higher than the other notes)—you have the C, D, D#, and E, but not the A's.
Hopefully I understood this correctly. I've moved the A's in the RH to be on the beat rather than off beat (this is what I'm hearing in the original).
QuoteIs it necessary to use staccatissimos for the entire melody? It looks kind of unnatural, and I feel like the meaning of playing the note shorter than a normal staccato is lost when they're used so much.
I see what you mean, I think my aim was to get across a sharper staccato for the melody, with a more relaxed staccato being from m21 onwards. Anyway, I'm happy to change this to normal staccatos if the current notation isn't appropriate.
QuoteIt feels awkward to jump directly from the descending pattern at the end (which should resolve to the low A) back to the high notes in the beginning, not to mention that it's probably a difficult jump for the hand. I would suggest substituting one of the notes on m1 beat 1 for the low A in subsequent loops (you could notate the note directly with m1 with a written note or add another measure before the repeat).
Agreed, I have added two additional measures to the end which now loop back to m3 instead.
This is what I'm hearing for m3:
(https://i.imgur.com/OCEo6hq.png)
You may want to consider this for m28:
(https://i.imgur.com/WKWD7S8.png)
This replaces the lowest octave with the highest octave—both of them are present in the original, but obviously you can't include both, so there's a tradeoff here. You can keep whichever octave you think is more important, but I personally prefer this one since I feel like the highest octave's absence is felt more strongly if it's not there.
Some other considerations:
- I would make the first LH note in m29 a staccato'd eighth note on beat 1, and then get it back to playing the high notes by beat 2.
- For consistency's sake, I would make the staccato'd quarter note in m24 LH a staccato'd eighth note instead, followed by two eighth rests.
- I would raise the 8va line in the third system (m8-11) a little bit.
- I would drag the start of the 8va in m29 a wee bit to the left. Just slightly, so the left side of the 8 is over the barline.
- I would move the sign in m3 a teensy bit to the right to be centered over the barline.
- The title should have an upward accent, not a downward accent. Because Jean Armstrong sucks at French.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 03, 2019, 08:17:43 PMThis is what I'm hearing for m3:
Okie, I could finally hear those notes after listening a few times.
QuoteYou may want to consider this for m28:
This replaces the lowest octave with the highest octave—both of them are present in the original, but obviously you can't include both, so there's a tradeoff here. You can keep whichever octave you think is more important, but I personally prefer this one since I feel like the highest octave's absence is felt more strongly if it's not there.
Yep, agreed.
QuoteSome other considerations:
- I would make the first LH note in m29 a staccato'd eighth note on beat 1, and then get it back to playing the high notes by beat 2.
- For consistency's sake, I would make the staccato'd quarter note in m24 LH a staccato'd eighth note instead, followed by two eighth rests.
- I would raise the 8va line in the third system (m8-11) a little bit.
- I would drag the start of the 8va in m29 a wee bit to the left. Just slightly, so the left side of the 8 is over the barline.
- I would move the sign in m3 a teensy bit to the right to be centered over the barline.
All done!
Quote- The title should have an upward accent, not a downward accent. Because Jean Armstrong sucks at French.
Sacré bleu! It was torture to change this! >.<
Thanks a bunch for the help.
A few more things:
- The spacing in the LH is really weird sometimes, particularly in places like m14 and m18. To make things less cramped and more even, it might be better to change m8-19 into four lines, three measures each (instead of three lines, four measures each as it is now).
- You might want to unbeam the RH dyad on beat 2.5 in m14 (the first note of the slur) since it's a distinct phrase from the first two dyads of the measure.
- The spacing in m27 is messed up because of the addition of the clef. Just click on a note in m27 with the Simple Entry tool and it should respace itself automatically.
Bump for arranger.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on January 05, 2020, 06:32:38 PMA few more things:
- The spacing in the LH is really weird sometimes, particularly in places like m14 and m18. To make things less cramped and more even, it might be better to change m8-19 into four lines, three measures each (instead of three lines, four measures each as it is now).
- You might want to unbeam the RH dyad on beat 2.5 in m14 (the first note of the slur) since it's a distinct phrase from the first two dyads of the measure.
- The spacing in m27 is messed up because of the addition of the clef. Just click on a note in m27 with the Simple Entry tool and it should respace itself automatically.
Hi, thanks for not archiving this submission & sorry for not updating this arrangement sooner. >.< I've made the formatting fixes above, let me know if there's anything else to change.
One other thing I missed is that I would rebeam beats 3 and 3.5 in m20 RH. Although they are different lines, I think it's weird to unbeam there (and leave beats 3.5-4 beamed) because beamed pairs of eighth notes imply that they're within the same beat, which is not the case here. The slur does a sufficient job of indicating the phrase that belongs to the main melody.
That aside, everything else looks fantastique, so this earns my approval once it's taken care of.
Oh you're right, that was some awkward beaming there, haha. Good spotting :) I have made this final change, super!
Great work! Just a couple of quick observations from me.
- Some of those 16th note dyads injected between the melodic phrases sound a bit uncharacteristically high - specifically the thirds in m. 8, 14, and 18. Thoughts about lowering them an octave?
- https please!
Let's finally get this one finished :)
Yep agreed, sounds much more consistent now with other similar passages. All done :)
Yay! Accepting ;D
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).
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