Submission Information:
Series: Final Fantasy
Game: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Torn from the Heavens
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Th3Gavst3r (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4780)
[attachment deleted by admin]
https://open.spotify.com/track/2Hf5MJo5GjGwUIySaUxiLJ
Nice sheet! Here are some things:
- m20-21: I'm kinda feeling this as a 3-3-2 pattern rather than 4-4. Since the measures that come before are 3/4 and have similar rhythms, you might want to consider splitting these measures up like that. Just 4/4 like you have it is fine though if you want to leave it.
- m52 LH: Bn should be Cb.
- m54-55: I would spell all this stuff with flats, I think it fits better (Abm to Cbm).
- m68: I would spell this measure with flats too, but keep m70-73 the same.
- For the copyright date, I think just 2013 is good, since the original FFXIV is technically a different game with its own OST.
Quote from: Static on November 05, 2019, 07:22:08 PM- m20-21: I'm kinda feeling this as a 3-3-2 pattern rather than 4-4. Since the measures that come before are 3/4 and have similar rhythms, you might want to consider splitting these measures up like that. Just 4/4 like you have it is fine though if you want to leave it.
I find it much easier to count those measures in 4/4. Having the strong LH downbeat on beat 1 of measure 21 instead of the weak RH 16th notes really helps me personally.
Quote from: Static on November 05, 2019, 07:22:08 PM
Definitely added, makes the 2nd voice look way cleaner
Quote from: Static on November 05, 2019, 07:22:08 PM- m54-55: I would spell all this stuff with flats, I think it fits better (Abm to Cbm).
Wouldn't m.54 be B minor, not Cb minor? B minor has 2 sharps, while Cb minor has
4 flats and 3 double flatsQuote from: Static on November 05, 2019, 07:22:08 PM- m68: I would spell this measure with flats too, but keep m70-73 the same.
That's a pretty strong B major chord, and should be spelled with sharps right?
Quote from: Static on November 05, 2019, 07:22:08 PM- For the copyright date, I think just 2013 is good, since the original FFXIV is technically a different game with its own OST.
I've been going by the copyright dates on the box art lately, but I agree. The song is definitely original to the 2013 release
Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on November 13, 2019, 06:12:02 PMI find it much easier to count those measures in 4/4. Having the strong LH downbeat on beat 1 of measure 21 instead of the weak RH 16th notes really helps me personally.
Fair enough, yeah.
Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on November 13, 2019, 06:12:02 PMWouldn't m.54 be B minor, not Cb minor? B minor has 2 sharps, while Cb minor has 4 flats and 3 double flats
That's a pretty strong B major chord, and should be spelled with sharps right?
Normally, I would agree, but I think using these chords fit better in the context and key of the piece. Starting at m50, the minor chords keep moving up a minor 3rd (Fm to Abm to Cbm). m68-69 is similar to m66-67 in terms of intervals. To me, it makes more sense to show that kind of structure, but I agree that all those flats can be hard to read. Ultimately, it's up to you, but that's my reasoning.
Quote from: Static on November 13, 2019, 07:00:53 PMNormally, I would agree, but I think using these chords fit better in the context and key of the piece. Starting at m50, the minor chords keep moving up a minor 3rd (Fm to Abm to Cbm). m68-69 is similar to m66-67 in terms of intervals. To me, it makes more sense to show that kind of structure, but I agree that all those flats can be hard to read. Ultimately, it's up to you, but that's my reasoning.
I totally get the harmonic reason, but I really don't want to read this...
(https://i.imgur.com/6XhH0Qe.png)
Slight preference for the sharps from me, but I would be
not okay with it written either way :P
For the ending section though, I would write m. 68 using flats for sure. Last four bars I think can stay as is.
Ok, I decided to keep the sharps in m54 since I also have a double flat phobia, but I agree about the flats in 68 so that's been changed.
Thanks for giving me your perspectives :D
Sounds good to me. I would change that Bn in m52 LH to a Cb though (in layer 1). Other than that, I approve.
Quote from: Static on November 16, 2019, 04:08:41 PMSounds good to me. I would change that Bn in m52 LH to a Cb though (in layer 1). Other than that, I approve.
Nice catch. Fixed that up
Nice.
I keep reading this as "Tom" from the Heavens
Nice sheet :o mostly just a few visual comments from me:
- I think the section from m. 15-21 could use a dynamic step up as there's a noticeable difference between it and m. 13-14.
- Double barline at key/section change for m. 21-22
- Slight suggestion: flipping the RH eighth notes in m. 24 up so that the melody keeps pointing up from the previous part and the ties around the half note G don't have to be in opposite directions (you could do this in 32 as well if you want, though only my first reason applies)
- The half rests in m. 39 and 41 are a bit misleading since it implies that the voice is silent whereas you wrote in as part of the first layer. I think it would be better to hide them.
- I think m. 49 could also afford to be a louder dynamic, this is a pretty notable climax in the original :P
- Small thing: for m. 55+ I'd suggest just putting the eighth/quarter rests in the bottom layer entirely off the staff instead of slightly overlapping/touching it
- Are the accents on all the melody notes in the last page supposed to be hidden for playback?
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- I think the section from m. 15-21 could use a dynamic step up as there's a noticeable difference between it and m. 13-14.
Made it louder
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- Double barline at key/section change for m. 21-22
Whoops, messed this up trying out 3/4 measures
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- Slight suggestion: flipping the RH eighth notes in m. 24 up so that the melody keeps pointing up from the previous part and the ties around the half note G don't have to be in opposite directions (you could do this in 32 as well if you want, though only my first reason applies)
I like how that looks. Changed it in both measures
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- The half rests in m. 39 and 41 are a bit misleading since it implies that the voice is silent whereas you wrote in as part of the first layer. I think it would be better to hide them.
Good point. I also hid the ones in m43 and 45
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- I think m. 49 could also afford to be a louder dynamic, this is a pretty notable climax in the original :P
Louder
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- Small thing: for m. 55+ I'd suggest just putting the eighth/quarter rests in the bottom layer entirely off the staff instead of slightly overlapping/touching it
Good idea. I had to longen the beams on a few eight note groups but it looks alright
Quote from: Latios212 on November 17, 2019, 09:26:54 AM- Are the accents on all the melody notes in the last page supposed to be hidden for playback?
LOUDERAhem.
f ->
ff is probably clear enough to not need all those accents for direction, so now they're all hidden
Alrighty, looks good!
This submission has been accepted by Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot