Submission Information:
Series: Harvest Moon
Game: Harvest Moon DS
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Winter
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5670)
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Notes-wise, I'm not positive on the pitches in some of the rolled chords or the bassline in measures 29-32. The change in accompaniment in the second half is to incorporate the pizzicato strings, but if there's any way to improve on the way I did it I'd be glad to hear it.
EDIT: The video I had previously got taken down so here's a new one; it's from the "Cute" version of the game but the soundtracks were identical so it's all good. :)
In regards to your concerns:
- Chords look good except where I've commented below.
- I think the accompaniment in the second half works fine. However I think it would be good to keep m. 29-32 consistent with the rest - i.e. Eb Ab Eb octaves and D G D octaves.
Other stuff:
- Yikes that's a lot of composers... :P I'd suggest using 4 systems on the first page - it would allow more room for that blob as well as better utilize the space on page 2.
- Make your margins on page 2 match those on page 1 (system indentation for the last couple of systems are off too)
- The cross-staff beam in m. 33 should angle upwards to match the contour of the notes.
- RH for m. 10-12 isn't quite right, I'm getting this. Same for m. 26-28 except the last two notes of 28 are D B.
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/664268495198093339/unknown.png
- m. 13/29 beat 1 could be a rolled octave
- Widen the space between staves in m. 22/24 to accommodate beat 4.
- backslash at the end of the URL
Good work!
It sure is lot of composers, isn't it? (https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ds/925581-harvest-moon-ds/credit) Unsurprisingly, I couldn't find specific credits for each track so I went with what I had. :P
Thanks for the suggestions, I've implemented all of them plus some general formatting fixes I didn't catch before as this was an older sheet. I had trouble with the notes at m. 10-12 and 26-28 so I appreciate the corrections; did I put the D and B in the right place?
Thanks again!
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on January 07, 2020, 08:18:21 PMIt sure is lot of composers, isn't it? (https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ds/925581-harvest-moon-ds/credit) Unsurprisingly, I couldn't find specific credits for each track so I went with what I had. :P
Haha sounds good, thanks for doing your research. :P
Everything checks out, just fix the left margin for the last 4 systems and I call it
good!
Quote from: Latios212 on January 08, 2020, 07:43:23 PMEverything checks out, just fix the left margin for the last 4 systems and I call it good!
Done!
My main concerns are with bars 14-15 and the equivalent place in the repeat (bars 30-32). Your right hand is far emptier than what's going on in the original and I'm not sure if it's just been missed or if it's been consciously excluded (but I can't think of a good reason for doing so). Namely there are more high piano notes than the ones you've written in but there's also that falling wind line in bar 32 which would be nice to get in if possible. Also I think that the note on beat 1 of bar 32 is restruck in the original.
Other than that, there's also that I'm hearing the Ds in the left hand of bar 15 as Cs (not the low one though).
Those things aside, this looks decent.
Quote from: Libera on January 09, 2020, 02:12:20 PMMy main concerns are with bars 14-15 and the equivalent place in the repeat (bars 30-32). Your right hand is far emptier than what's going on in the original and I'm not sure if it's just been missed or if it's been consciously excluded (but I can't think of a good reason for doing so). Namely there are more high piano notes than the ones you've written in but there's also that falling wind line in bar 32 which would be nice to get in if possible. Also I think that the note on beat 1 of bar 32 is restruck in the original.
Other than that, there's also that I'm hearing the Ds in the left hand of bar 15 as Cs (not the low one though).
Those things aside, this looks decent.
I must have missed those when I first did this sheet as it's an older one. I added the woodwind part in those two spots and modified the piano part slightly to make it easier to play/read, which I think filled it out nicely. I couldn't pick out any more piano notes than what I originally had though, so let me know if there's any in particular that could be added. This track in general is a little echoey so I find it hard to hear everything that's going on at times.
As for your other concerns:
-switched the Ds in m. 15 to Cs
-restruck the G in m. 32
Other misc. changes:
-added a diminuendo in the last 2 bars
-redid the system spacing
-changed the repeat at the end to a D.C. because it was kind of long for a repeat
As always, thanks for the feedback!
For m12 and m28, I'm hearing C-E-G-B-D-F (rolled major 11th chord) on beat 1 RH (not hearing the low A). I'm also only hearing the top three notes staying held immediately after the start of the measure, so you may consider notating them as grace notes and tying the B and D over. Although, it would be difficult to roll all those notes quickly over such a large interval... not sure if there's a better solution without changing the chord itself.
Beat 4 RH in m12 and m26 should be a G-B dyad (with the B being higher than the high G, so remove the low G in m12 and the low D in m26).
I think you could add in that high flute part in m16 RH.
I would suggest moving the "rit." at the end to the last measure, instead of the second-to-last measure. The track doesn't actually slow down until the last measure, and I admittedly almost didn't even notice the "rit." there in its current location.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on January 22, 2020, 05:54:31 PMFor m12 and m28, I'm hearing C-E-G-B-D-F (rolled major 11th chord) on beat 1 RH (not hearing the low A). I'm also only hearing the top three notes staying held immediately after the start of the measure, so you may consider notating them as grace notes and tying the B and D over. Although, it would be difficult to roll all those notes quickly over such a large interval... not sure if there's a better solution without changing the chord itself.
Hm the Amin7 chord might not be exactly right, however I'm pretty sure that the melody note is a G and not an F. I played along with it a bit and a 1st inversion G triad sounded a little closer, but I didn't change that either way because I wasn't sure.
All your other suggestions sounded good, so I added those (good catch on the rit., I hadn't noticed that before!). I think you meant beat 4 in m. 28 instead of 26 though? Correct me if that's not the case.
Thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it!
Yeah, I meant m28, my bad.
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on January 23, 2020, 10:38:55 AMHm the Amin7 chord might not be exactly right, however I'm pretty sure that the melody note is a G and not an F. I played along with it a bit and a 1st inversion G triad sounded a little closer, but I didn't change that either way because I wasn't sure.
Yeah I don't hear an F at the top either. I think one instrument is playing a G B D roll and the other is doing a C E G roll. Putting them together in one hand is a bit of a mess so I'm not 100% what the best option there is. Maybe B C D E G is the most accurate but potentially not what you want... Definitely the A shouldn't be there though, at least I can't hear it.
Everything else looks better to me though now, especially 14-16, 30-33.
I decided to leave the C out of the rolls since it was really crunchy, which gives me B D E G. Thoughts?
I think that works. I don't see any other problems so this has my approval
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on February 01, 2020, 11:47:14 AMI decided to leave the C out of the rolls since it was really crunchy, which gives me B D E G. Thoughts?
Seems good to me! I've also just fixed the articulations and stuff so this is ready for accepting.
Quote from: InsigTurtle on February 01, 2020, 03:08:18 PMI think that works. I don't see any other problems so this has my approval
Quote from: Latios212 on January 08, 2020, 07:43:23 PMEverything checks out, just fix the left margin for the last 4 systems and I call it good!
You get the rare three updater approvals haha.
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot