Submission Information:
Series: Harvest Moon
Game: Harvest Moon DS
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Spring
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Code_Name_Geek (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5670)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on May 02, 2020, 01:06:31 PMHappy spring everyone!!
It doesn't feel like spring...Great work, as usual! Here's my feedback, mostly small things:
- I think the even numbered measures starting at the beginning have an A in the F chord on beat 3 in the left hand. I can see why you might want to leave it out, but I don't think it'd hurt to include.
- Measure 7 and 15 are pretty awkward to play. I'd consider throwing them up an octave in the RH, but that would break the continuity leading into the lower voice in the RH in the following measures - so up to you.
- I think having the cresc. in m. 10 closer to the notes in the staff is more important than having it be at the same level as the p before it, so I think it would look better lowered a little.
- m. 23 LH goes Bb-D and An-C for the dyads (higher than what you wrote in).
- Ornament in m. 9 takes a half step downwards to E instead of up to G. Also, flip the slur above the note to make it more visibly end on the top half note.
- The octaves in m. 18-19 sound like they should be a third up from where they are now (but the melody G stays).
- Split up half rests into two quarter rests in 3/4 time.
- Fix the staccatos to center over noteheads instead of stems (like last time).
- Capitalize NinSheetMusic like that in the URL :)
Quote from: Latios212 on May 13, 2020, 07:14:08 PM- I think the even numbered measures starting at the beginning have an A in the F chord on beat 3 in the left hand. I can see why you might want to leave it out, but I don't think it'd hurt to include.
I thiiink I had done that because it sounded a little heavy in the playback, however I realized that a performer would be able to adapt to that much better than playback so it's been added.
Quote from: Latios212 on May 13, 2020, 07:14:08 PM- Measure 7 and 15 are pretty awkward to play. I'd consider throwing them up an octave in the RH, but that would break the continuity leading into the lower voice in the RH in the following measures - so up to you.
It didn't sound too out of place so in the interest of playability, up it goes.
Everything else has been updated as well. Thanks for taking a look!
Awesome, looks great!
Just a few last tiny things:
- Adjust the slurs so they don't collide with the staccatos in m. 7 and 15.
- The staccatos on the first two beats of m. 18 should be above the notes.
- Raise the p in 17 a bit so it doesn't overlap the staccato.
Once these are done I approve :)
Quote from: Latios212 on May 19, 2020, 02:35:05 PMAwesome, looks great!
Just a few last tiny things:
- Adjust the slurs so they don't collide with the staccatos in m. 7 and 15.
- The staccatos on the first two beats of m. 18 should be above the notes.
- Raise the p in 17 a bit so it doesn't overlap the staccato.
Once these are done I approve :)
Got it, done!
Awesome ^^
I think the octaves in m30-32 would better be simplified to all legato. IMO, it's unnecessarily difficult to require the upper and lower notes to be played differently when the octaves are being played by one hand, and the overall effect is a smooth legato feel to me, even though there are some plucked notes.
In addition to the above, I don't think the key changes are needed. There's a clear progression of I (m1-18) to bVI (m18-26) to bVII (m27-32) to V (m33-34). It's a slow progression for sure, but it doesn't really sound like a modulation at least in my opinion.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on May 20, 2020, 07:32:13 PMI think the octaves in m30-32 would better be simplified to all legato. IMO, it's unnecessarily difficult to require the upper and lower notes to be played differently when the octaves are being played by one hand, and the overall effect is a smooth legato feel to me, even though there are some plucked notes.
Yeah that makes sense, fixed.
Quote from: Static on May 20, 2020, 09:20:55 PMIn addition to the above, I don't think the key changes are needed. There's a clear progression of I (m1-18) to bVI (m18-26) to bVII (m27-32) to V (m33-34). It's a slow progression for sure, but it doesn't really sound like a modulation at least in my opinion.
I had done that because it seemed like an awful lot of accidentals but I'll take your word on this one. Frequent key changes aren't exactly easier to read anyways.
Awesome
This submission has been accepted by Static (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4960).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot