Submission Information:
Series: The Legend of Zelda
Game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Console: Multiplatform
Title: Race Start
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Th3Gavst3r (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4780)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Yay more Breath of the Wild sheets! Keep 'em coming :P
- Hard to say for sure if it's there or not, but I think an octave Bb in the LH of m. 1/3 could give it some oomph
- I would suggest unbeaming eighth notes between beats in this sheet - RH beats 3-4 in m. 1 and LH beats 1-2 in m. 2 and similar for m. 3-4
- I think the RH of m. 2/4 should all be thirds
- m. 5 missing B harmony in RH first beat
- Last RH note of m. 6 also has a G# in it.
- I think m. 6/8 beat 4 also doesn't have the C# harmony?
- I think the last two RH dyads should be triads, missing C# and G# respectively
- https
^Everything Lat said, plus:
- I feel m.5-8 would be easier to sight-read if kept in the same tempo and time signature (see below). I also think m.5-8 should be in the key of E, to be consistent with the the key choice of m.1-4 (Bb for Bb lydian; E for E lydian)
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/715742305608400967/Screen_Shot_2020-05-28_at_7.38.59_PM.png
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- Hard to say for sure if it's there or not, but I think an octave Bb in the LH of m. 1/3 could give it some oomph
I like big loud
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- I would suggest unbeaming eighth notes between beats in this sheet - RH beats 3-4 in m. 1 and LH beats 1-2 in m. 2 and similar for m. 3-4
Very good
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- I think the RH of m. 2/4 should all be thirds
- m. 5 missing B harmony in RH first beat
- Last RH note of m. 6 also has a G# in it.
- I think m. 6/8 beat 4 also doesn't have the C# harmony?
- I think the last two RH dyads should be triads, missing C# and G# respectively
- https
I can't hear anything else in either of those places. The thirds are present in the LH in m4 and adding a third on m2b4 sounds much more major resolvey than the original
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- m. 5 missing B harmony in RH first beat
Used an E octave in the LH to match the rest of the system
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- Last RH note of m. 6 also has a G# in it.
Added
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- I think m. 6/8 beat 4 also doesn't have the C# harmony?
I'm pretty confident the C# is there and I like the color it gives the otherwise distant interval between LH and RH
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- I think the last two RH dyads should be triads, missing C# and G# respectively
Got emmmmm
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- https
S'ed
Okay :D not 100% sure about a couple of the transcription-y things but it definitely looks good to me, thanks for giving it a close listen.
have an approve
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- m. 5 missing B harmony in RH first beat
I agree with this.
Quote from: Latios212 on May 28, 2020, 03:34:45 PM- I think the RH of m. 2/4 should all be thirds
I agree with Gav that there isn't a high Bb below the D in the RH of bar 2 (at least not that I can hear.) That being said, I can hear Bb Bb D beneath the RH in bar 4, in addition to the lower third pattern (Bb C D) that Gav has already written in.
Quote from: Th3Gavst3r on June 28, 2020, 08:21:21 PMI'm pretty confident the C# is there and I like the color it gives the otherwise distant interval between LH and RH
I can't hear this C# either. I think you're just hearing the C# from the previous dyad bleeding through.
In addition, I don't hear the final F# note in the LH of bar 8 at all. It sounds like a B to me.
The sheet looks good though aside from these slightly fiddly transcription things.
The voice-leading lines in m.1 and m.3 are too short; the tips should be within close-proximity to the noteheads. The distance between the LH and RH staves is also too long; move the "mf" dynamic to the left so you can shorten the gap, then center the "mf" between the staves.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/401094846107877377/727314683190575205/Screen_Shot_2020-06-29_at_6.08.40_PM.png
The information stack in m.5 is awkwardly placed, and causes there to be too much distance between the staves. Consolidate it into a single line.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/401094846107877377/727315746958475336/Screen_Shot_2020-06-29_at_6.12.56_PM.png
The tips of the slurs are near-colliding with the ties in m.5 and m.7, and the tapering effect in the slurs' design magnifies the difficulty of distinguishability between the glyphs at such a close distance. Move the endpoints up a few clicks, and arc the slur slightly more by a few clicks so that the ties aren't as parallel (for reference on design, see my earlier post with my rendition of m.5-6).
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/401094846107877377/727318298772897792/Screen_Shot_2020-06-29_at_6.23.05_PM.png
The slur between m.7-8 is near-colliding with this sharp accidental in m.8. Increase the arc of the slur and/or raise the endpoints to accommodate it.
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/401094846107877377/727319985424433162/Screen_Shot_2020-06-29_at_6.29.44_PM.png
Quote from: Libera on June 29, 2020, 04:50:22 PMI agree with this.
After max EQ'ing 494hz I think I understand what you guys are hearing, and it could just be my listening environment being different. IMO it's just resonant frequencies from the reverb since it's significantly more right-panned than the Bb4's you're talking about in measure 4 and the timbre sounds much more pure like harmonics would. The sound is so incredibly subtle that I'd rather have the melody follow the same pattern as m7 than anything, so I'm leaving it out still
Quote from: Libera on June 29, 2020, 04:50:22 PMI agree with Gav that there isn't a high Bb below the D in the RH of bar 2 (at least not that I can hear.) That being said, I can hear Bb Bb D beneath the RH in bar 4, in addition to the lower third pattern (Bb C D) that Gav has already written in.
I can hear some really subtle Bb's under the first two RH notes, but I can't hear a D no matter how hard I try. It wouldn't add anything harmonically since there's already a definite Bb in the LH and I personally think the contour sounds clearer without it, so I just added the two Bb's
Quote from: Libera on June 29, 2020, 04:50:22 PMI can't hear this C# either. I think you're just hearing the C# from the previous dyad bleeding through.
I'm sticking to my guns on this one; I dislike all of the chord tones suddenly dropping too much. At the very least if it's bleeding through restriking shouldn't be a big difference
Quote from: Libera on June 29, 2020, 04:50:22 PMIn addition, I don't hear the final F# note in the LH of bar 8 at all. It sounds like a B to me.
I felt like I wasn't getting the texture quite right there and I think you found the reason in that missing B. I still hear a fifth, but it feels much better to me now
Quote from: Bespinben on June 29, 2020, 05:31:50 PM...
I really appreciate all the tips. Tweaked everything to spec, hopefully it looks good now
Thanks for spending some more time going over the voicings carefully. I'm still hearing some of these things differently but I'm not sure it's worth holding the sheet up any longer for (since we're probably going to continue to disagree anyway.)
I shall accept.
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot