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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Project Archive => Topic started by: NineLives on May 31, 2020, 10:22:54 AM

Title: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on May 31, 2020, 10:22:54 AM
Challenge Arrangements
Diddy Kong Racing
Donkey Kong Country - "Treetop Rock" | Source (https://youtu.be/AjoTS2OauCo)

Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble!
Revisited Arrangements
Diddy Kong RacingSuper Mario Kart - "Koopa Beach" | Arranged by G-Han | Source (https://youtu.be/uv2x_MyCcbs)

Revised Arrangements
Diddy Kong Racing - "Dino Domain" | Arranged by Sam Waetford | Source (https://youtu.be/_cASerYiqYg)

Approved Arrangements
Accepted Arrangements
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on June 01, 2020, 09:48:15 AM
Diddy Kong Racing - Ancient Lake
What exactly is different here? I see it was pasted onto a new template and now extends onto a third page... which aren't necessary. If it's just the URL and bolded page title/etc. I can just adjust that but I don't see this needing a replacement as is.

Super Mario Kart - Koopa Beach
- I think the pickup would be better with quarter + half rest rather than vice versa
- Give your layer work another look over from 11-17. There are some flipped notes and some notes placed in the wrong voice. Let me know if I should specify which ones, but I think you can figure out what needs to be adjusted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 01, 2020, 11:29:58 AM
Quote from: Latios212 on June 01, 2020, 09:48:15 AMDiddy Kong Racing - Ancient Lake
What exactly is different here? I see it was pasted onto a new template and now extends onto a third page... which aren't necessary. If it's just the URL and bolded page title/etc. I can just adjust that but I don't see this needing a replacement as is.
The two things you said. Basically, I just copied the notes and junk and pasted them in the 2019 template, like I did with the other two I formatted/edited, and that's how the 3rd page happened. I've now edited the margins so that the last system fits. They're pretty small edits, so it's hardly a replacement, but that's why I don't credit myself for those three in the arranger spot and so on.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on June 01, 2020, 05:25:17 PM
If it's just the URL/text that needs to be edited, don't paste it into a new template - it's unnecessary and can mess up the original arranger's formatting. Just let me know if one of those should be updated.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 02, 2020, 07:25:34 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on June 01, 2020, 05:25:17 PMIf it's just the URL/text that needs to be edited, don't paste it into a new template - it's unnecessary and can mess up the original arranger's formatting. Just let me know if one of those should be updated.
Okay. I will!
All right. To make things a bit clearer on arrangements, I've split the list into the three main sections based on the replacement guide made by Olimar. Also, after reading up on it, I've put each one I had currently to the section that's most appropriate.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 09, 2020, 01:29:54 PM
All right, so far I submitted all replacements/revisions for Diddy Kong Racing(N64) & Donkey Kong Country 3(SNES). I'm not sure if I'll get any more in before the 13th, but we'll see.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 12, 2020, 11:17:00 AM
I've now submitted all the sheets I have for the update. Many simian songs have been updated and rearranged.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on June 14, 2020, 02:05:38 PM
Rockface Rumble

By the way, it doesn't look like your Flight of the Zinger sheet is in the folder.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 14, 2020, 03:00:39 PM
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 02:05:38 PMRockface Rumble
  • m1-17 only ever need one hand to play... You have a lot of room and opportunity to create a cool percussion part! If you want some ideas or help, let me know. Or if you would rather not, that's OK. I just think it sounds a bit empty without any percussion.
I don't think I've fiddled with percussion in these certain pieces before and in PrintMusic in general. I could notate it, I'd just need to know how to enter it. In addition, would I put it all on the left hand for those measures if I did that? Aside from that, I got the other changes done.
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 02:05:38 PMBy the way, it doesn't look like your Flight of the Zinger sheet is in the folder.
Sorry about that! It's in there now!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on June 14, 2020, 07:57:53 PM
Quote from: NineLives on June 14, 2020, 03:00:39 PMI don't think I've fiddled with percussion in these certain pieces before and in PrintMusic in general. I could notate it, I'd just need to know how to enter it. In addition, would I put it all on the left hand for those measures if I did that? Aside from that, I got the other changes done.
Enter notes normally, using the top layer for the player's free hand (could be just tapping the hand itself, or tapping a pencil or something) and bottom layer for the players leg(s) (for stomping, etc.) Those sounds can mimic basic snare and bass drum sounds. The final step is to change the instrument to a drum set for just those measures and in only that staff; if you need help doing that I can get that for you.

You can put the piano notes in either the RH or LH, just change clefs when necessary. However, for this piece, most of the notes are lower, so I would probably have the LH play the notes while the RH does the other stuff.

Also, like I said earlier, if you would rather it be just a piano-only arrangement with no percussion that's fine too. This is just a suggestion.

Quote from: NineLives on June 14, 2020, 03:00:39 PMSorry about that! It's in there now!
Awesome, thanks!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on June 16, 2020, 08:58:27 PM
NineLives and I discussed some percussion ideas for the sheet, and we got a new file up now. All the other changes I mentioned look good, so I'll be approving.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on June 19, 2020, 08:53:58 PM
Frosty Village
Really good work! Solid arrangement, mostly small things I found. Very happy to see this one done :)

LH
- m. 15/25/43/69 bass notes should start with E and G, not F# and A#
- m. 46/49 should be four D's, then two C#s, then a B
- In the m. 47-61 section: m. 47 and the following measures like it should have beat 2.5 raised to the third above the root. So C# in m. 47-48, F# in m. 49, etc.

RH
- Use A# in m. 10 since it's chromatically ascending there. Similarly for m. 12, 22, 36, 38, 64, 66
- I think you should raise m. 18-27 beat 1 up an octave. It would provide contrast with the preceding section and the jump between beats 1-2 of m. 27 wouldn't be huge.
- m. 32/76 beat 2 sounds like a single G to me. I would also suggest separating out the melody in beat 4 (I can make the edit for you if you need)
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/723743373080395826/unknown.png
[close]
- m. 47 - the notes in the middle sound like they go A-C#-A instead of C#-A-C#
- m. 51 beat 4 - would suggest getting rid of the G and separating out the F# visually
- Harmonies in m. 55-60:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/723745318407241768/unknown.png
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/723746123331665930/unknown.png
[close]
- m. 65 uses parallel fourths instead of thirds (E instead of F# under the A... not sure if writing in a F# under the B is correct though)
- m. 71 beat 2 should be triplet rest-B-D rather than just the rest-D

Misc.
- Left margin's too small (I can fix it)
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 20, 2020, 12:48:31 PM
All right. I think I got all of your changes in. I moved the left margin a few pegs on each page, so I hope it looks all right in that regard.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on June 20, 2020, 06:35:16 PM
Frosty Village
Nice! Just a last few things:
- Text boxes outside page margins
- m. 53/55/56 should also have LH beat 2.5 raised
- m. 71 the B I mentioned should be an octave lower than you currently have it

Made the above changes for you and approved :)
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on June 23, 2020, 12:41:26 PM
Flight of the Zinger
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 23, 2020, 01:37:25 PM
Quote from: Static on June 23, 2020, 12:41:26 PMFlight of the Zinger
  • That repeating LH pattern should actually look like this:
    (https://i.imgur.com/65RiwMQ.png)
    However, it's... pretty difficult to play at tempo, to say the least. Either you could focus on this part, using both hands to play it and ditch the RH part, at least until m37, or you could use a simplified version, which I think highlights the important notes and sounds close enough to the original. Take a look:
    (https://i.imgur.com/L8MvGds.png)
For this, I chose to go for the simplified ostinato.
Quote from: Static on June 23, 2020, 12:41:26 PM
  • At the m39 section, I would try to find some way to include the bass notes, since those are integral to the original harmonies. Some ideas might be to just include the original bassline instead of the ostinato, or to change the notes in the ostinato to reflect the harmony, with the first note the bass note.
Here I decided to just do the bass line for more simplicity.
Quote from: Static on June 23, 2020, 12:41:26 PM
  • Your beaming is sometimes inconsistent: you have 3 8th notes beamed together in m39, but m4 uses a quarter tied to an 8th on beat 3. You should break the beam in m39, 43, etc., or change quarter-tie-8ths into dotted quarters in m40, 44, etc.
I did your second suggestion for this one. The rest I didn't quote I took care of.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on June 23, 2020, 01:54:04 PM
Looks good, I'd just edit m44 to look like m40, and add bass notes where there's rests in m45 and 53, since it sounds like there are notes in those spots. Also, I adjusted the formatting on page 4 for you, so it has the same spacing as pages 2-3.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on June 23, 2020, 02:10:43 PM
Quote from: Static on June 23, 2020, 01:54:04 PMLooks good, I'd just edit m44 to look like m40, and add bass notes where there's rests in m45 and 53, since it sounds like there are notes in those spots. Also, I adjusted the formatting on page 4 for you, so it has the same spacing as pages 2-3.
Done and done. Thanks for the formatting as well!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on June 23, 2020, 02:27:22 PM
Awesome, I approve.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 11, 2020, 01:10:53 PM
Super Mario Kart - Koopa Beach
Looks good! A few things:
- F in m. 7 should be sharped
- I'd suggest moving m. 5 down to the next system; the first system is a bit squished right now.
- The courtesy natural in m. 18 isn't super necessary since it's at the end of the bar (and there's a system break since the last)
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on July 11, 2020, 01:17:07 PM
Flight of the Zinger
Overall, you've got a pretty good arrangement here. I just have one comment. I know you said you just went with a simple bassline, but I think something like this would work better:
(https://i.fiery.me/ADdtd.jpg)
If you want to emphasize the onbeat notes more, just add octaves below, like so:
(https://i.fiery.me/gb3cN.jpg)

Whether you incorporate it or not is up to you, but I'd at least like you to fiddle with it a bit first. This is off of the same drum line you wrote in, so I think it's pretty valid interpretation of the voice you chose to transcribe.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 11, 2020, 01:22:52 PM
Definitely agree with Maelstrom's comments above, see if you like how that sounds. In the current arrangement the contrast between the 16th note rhythm and the quarter note rhythm is a bit surprising.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on July 11, 2020, 01:34:58 PM
Rockface Rumble
Another great one, really like how it turned out. Just one thing - maybe add a courtesy time signature right before the repeat? You can do that by adding a measure to the end, changing the time signature with the "composite" to 1/128, then checking the "use a different time signature for display", filling the measure with a 1/128 note, pressing h to hide, and then shrinking the measure into oblivion with the measure tool. I realize that probably took more time to type than it would to change it myself, but it's too late for that.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on July 11, 2020, 04:38:42 PM
All right. So "Koopa Beach" got its fixes, "Flight of the Zinger" now has the bass line suggested with octaves, and "Rockface Rumble" now has its courtesy time signature. All sheets have been updated on the folder.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 11, 2020, 04:43:47 PM
Super Mario Kart - Koopa Beach
Great! Approving this one.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on July 12, 2020, 07:12:40 AM
Quote from: NineLives on July 11, 2020, 04:38:42 PMAll right. So "Koopa Beach" got its fixes, "Flight of the Zinger" now has the bass line suggested with octaves, and "Rockface Rumble" now has its courtesy time signature. All sheets have been updated on the folder.
My bad, I said time signature (which is 100% the right thing to do) but can you also make it a courtesy key signature? Oh, and put the repeat after the extra short measure. You can use the measure tool to remove the barline in between the last measure and it.

For Flight of the zinger, maybe you should just have a cresc. dynamic instead of a smartshape that spans half the page.

Fix these and I approve of both.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on July 12, 2020, 08:57:07 AM
I got both covered, though I want to ask if I need a line of some sort after the "cresc." If it's not necessary, then I'll leave it be.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on July 12, 2020, 12:50:01 PM
nah, it's implied.
Both are now accepted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 16, 2020, 04:08:03 PM
Title Theme - Diddy Kong Racing
This is such a happy song... I've never heard it before haha. I love David Wise's stuff :)

- I think all the melody figures like the one in m. 11 would be better off as mordents than 16th notes. At this speed, it's not a huge difference, but let me know if you disagree. I think it better differentiates the sound of that from regular 16th notes like in m. 40.
- In measures 9-10, I'd strongly recommend writing in the G# grace notes before the A bass notes. They give the part a lot of characters
- The last triad in m. 14 doesn't sound quite right... it sounds like A-Cn leading into the following measure? (Excluding the bottom E in the lower voice)
- m. 17 beat 3 RH should be G# instead of A
- Measure 22 last note in the RH should have a staccato (as the C# is part of the voice that goes into the next measure)
- Last bass note in m. 26 should be F#
- RH rest shouldn't be hidden in m. 30
- I think m. 34/50 beat 1.5 RH is a G# instead of A
- Flip the first pair of 8th notes in m. 38 RH so the contour of the slur and the descending thirds matches the ones that follow.
- m. 49 is missing the RH on beat 2 (A)
- I think the last chord would sound better as a four-note A chord in root position. Try that out and see how it sounds.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on July 16, 2020, 05:16:07 PM
I'll be honest, I wasn't too familiar with mordents. They do work pretty well though! Along with those I've hopefully gotten the rest of the changes updated in the file without missing any.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 23, 2020, 05:11:06 PM
Alright looks good! Just last thing, the F# in the LH at tHe end of 26 - I meant for that to be an octave lower.

That's all for this sheet~
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on July 23, 2020, 06:52:19 PM
Taken care of!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on August 09, 2020, 05:09:25 PM
Oops sorry I forgot to check back on this one! Approved :)
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on August 12, 2020, 02:10:37 PM
Koopa Beach - Super Mario Kart
- I'd put staccatos on the four eighth notes at the end of m3 LH.
- The dynamic marking in the pickup measure is too close to the RH and should be lowered to be aligned evenly between the two staves.
- I think it's more correct/conventional not to beam over rests, so you might consider breaking the beam over m14 beat 4. It still is pretty common to beam over rests (Finale does so by default), but this just bugged me because it was the only instance in the whole sheet, lol.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 12, 2020, 02:40:21 PM
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 12, 2020, 02:10:37 PMKoopa Beach - Super Mario Kart
- I'd put staccatos on the four eighth notes at the end of m3 LH.
- The dynamic marking in the pickup measure is too close to the RH and should be lowered to be aligned evenly between the two staves.
- I think it's more correct/conventional not to beam over rests, so you might consider breaking the beam over m14 beat 4.
Done and updated!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on August 12, 2020, 04:42:56 PM
Did you make the changes on an old version of the file by accident? Latios' changes from July 11th are missing.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 12, 2020, 06:42:30 PM
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 12, 2020, 04:42:56 PMDid you make the changes on an old version of the file by accident? Latios' changes from July 11th are missing.
Sorry about that! I didn't know it was. I usually only have the one file. Should be good now!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on August 13, 2020, 11:19:09 AM
Quote from: Latios212 on July 11, 2020, 01:10:53 PM- F in m. 7 should be sharped
Don't forget this too
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 13, 2020, 12:26:29 PM
Oh. I thought he meant the one in the LH and thought I changed it already in the file. I got it now.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on August 13, 2020, 12:43:52 PM
Koopa Beach - One last thing... I think maybe the key signature should be D minor (one flat) instead of C major, but I'm not 100% sure. I'm going to ask for more opinions and get back to you on this.

EDIT: Never mind, looks like C major is good. Accepting!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 20, 2020, 09:51:05 AM
Frosty Village

-There's a bunch of places where the LH rhythm is different to what you've written in.  For example, bar 21 should have two quaver C#s at the end rather than a crotchet C#.  Similarly for bars 37, 40, 45 and 46, 65.  From when the new bass pattern comes in at 48 all of the rhythms in the left hand are off (it sounds to me like there should be two quavers at the end of the bars and only a crotchet on beat 1).
-Intentionally simplified rhythms in bar 61?  You wrote in the other triplet stuff elsewhere so I'm just wondering.
-http to https!
-You might want to spread out the systems on page 1 a little more evenly.  There's a lot of space between the bottom stave and the copyright at the moment.
-The beaming of the guitar line in bars 30 and 32 should be consistent (same for 74 and 76).  If you break the beam in one place you should break it in the other and vice versa.
-Another point about that section, why is the F# on beat 2.5 included the second time but not the first?  Also, the rest in 32/76 should be at the normal height.
-It's kind of shame that there are no articulations or dynamics (or directions of any kind) in the sheet.  One example of where you could use slurs in particular would be to help differentiate the different instruments in 37 and 39 (but you could also do that with beaming if you wanted to.)  Something to think about anyway, but I won't force it if you don't want to.
-The positioning of the tempo marking is quite awkward since it's too close to the swing marking.  It's probably better to have them stacked vertically rather than horizontally.  Also, the tempo marking shouldn't be in parenthesis and should also be in terms of crotchets since your time signature is 4/4.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on August 20, 2020, 11:39:50 AM
Haunted Woods
- Because of all the dense rhythms, you'll probably want to just have systems with 2-3 measures instead of 4. This will also fill out that almost-empty 3rd page.
- Those 32nd notes would probably be better written as just grace notes, even if the rhythm is exactly 32nds in the original.
- Most of the baseline is a 16th-8th-16th rhythm on each beat; I think it's fine to simplify it though since it's pretty tiring to play for a long time.
- m4 RH should have some grace notes going up to the note as well.
- m14 beats 3-4 and m16 beats 1-4: The C naturals should be C#s.
- m30-33 might sound cool as 16th notes (alternating the octave with each note), instead of having both octaves together as an 8th note.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 20, 2020, 11:52:21 AM
All right, so I think I got most of your concerns done, Libera. I double checked over the bass, so I caught a few more rhythms that were absent. I also put slurs in places with two or more instruments to distinguish them as suggested. Now here are some questions and answers about some of the comments:
Quote from: Libera on August 20, 2020, 09:51:05 AM-Intentionally simplified rhythms in bar 61?  You wrote in the other triplet stuff elsewhere so I'm just wondering.
Yes, that was intentional.
Quote from: Libera on August 20, 2020, 09:51:05 AM-The beaming of the guitar line in bars 30 and 32 should be consistent (same for 74 and 76).  If you break the beam in one place you should break it in the other and vice versa.
I don't see/understand what you're talking about here. On the file, both sections mentioned are beamed consistently and I don't see any broken beams around the sheet in general. Do you mean since it's two eighths to a quarter in the left hand, then it should be split because of that?
Quote from: Libera on August 20, 2020, 09:51:05 AMFrosty Village
-Another point about that section, why is the F# on beat 2.5 included the second time but not the first?  Also, the rest in 32/76 should be at the normal height.
Well, that's because in the first parts(Measures 30 and 74), the guitar only plays count 3 and onward, unlike in the second parts(Measures 32 and 76). That's the accordion-sounding part that's got counts 2 and 2.5 in those first parts.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 20, 2020, 12:50:29 PM
All right, Static. I think I got all those changes jotted down.
Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 11:39:50 AM- m30-33 might sound cool as 16th notes (alternating the octave with each note), instead of having both octaves together as an 8th note.
I thought about this before, but I wasn't sure if it was player-friendly at its tempo. It's in the sheet now.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on August 20, 2020, 01:10:48 PM
Haunted Woods looks great, I'll approve now.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 20, 2020, 01:15:08 PM
Quote from: NineLives on August 20, 2020, 11:52:21 AMI don't see/understand what you're talking about here. On the file, both sections mentioned are beamed consistently and I don't see any broken beams around the sheet in general. Do you mean since it's two eighths to a quarter in the left hand, then it should be split because of that?

It was definitely different when I loaded up the file earlier but it looks fine now, so it doesn't really matter anymore.



Two final things:

-Could you spread the tempo marking and the swing marking out a little more?  They're really close together.
-The Gns in bars 59-60 should be G#s right?

Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 20, 2020, 01:32:31 PM
Quote from: Libera on August 20, 2020, 01:15:08 PM-Could you spread the tempo marking and the swing marking out a little more?  They're really close together.
-The Gns in bars 59-60 should be G#s right?
Done and they already were sharped... Perhaps my version of Finale is fowling up the appearance?
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 20, 2020, 02:04:38 PM
Fixed over discord.  Frosty Village is now accepted!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on August 23, 2020, 04:42:48 PM
Diddy Kong Racing - Ancient Lake
Was anything about this sheet changed other than the formatting? The same for Fossil Canyon.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 23, 2020, 08:40:39 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on August 23, 2020, 04:42:48 PMDiddy Kong Racing - Ancient Lake
Was anything about this sheet changed other than the formatting? The same for Fossil Canyon.
No, not really. Just simple format stuff. "Dino Domain" had a bit more than those two to clean up, but that's about it for the revised stuff, so like most revisions, I won't be takin' any credit on-site and all that. By the time you mentioned that sort of thing, I had already done them.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on August 25, 2020, 08:39:36 PM
Gotcha, okay. Yeah, for these two since the original sheet is good and was done by a conscientious arranger, we should try to avoid pasting all the music into a new template when there are only minor things like the URL/footer/margins to fix - to leave the original arranger's font, music spacing, etc. intact where possible. I noticed in your updated files some of the spacing was more cramped in places, for example, whereas in the existing sheet it was event. I've just reuploaded these two sheets to the site with minor adjustments (URL and un-bolded header for Ancient Lake, URL and margins for Fossil Canyon), since they really shouldn't be in this replacement project if that's all that needs to be changed.

Let me know if you have any concerns!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on August 26, 2020, 07:00:55 AM
Title Theme (Diddy Kong Racing)
- I would change dynamics at m9 to give that section an extra burst of energy; maybe start at mp and then go to mf in m9.
- Starting at m11, I think the melody could use more articulations, mainly staccatos.
- The first note in m49 RH should have a mordent
- The last chord should have an accent on it (both hands), and maybe a crescendo in the previous measure leading up to it.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 26, 2020, 10:00:58 AM
Quote from: Latios212 on August 25, 2020, 08:39:36 PMLet me know if you have any concerns!
None that I can think of. I've now removed those sheets from the "Revised Arrangements" list.
Quote from: Static on August 26, 2020, 07:00:55 AMTitle Theme (Diddy Kong Racing)
- Starting at m11, I think the melody could use more articulations, mainly staccatos.
I got the rest of your changes done I believe, but I'll have you judge the staccatos I added in.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on August 26, 2020, 10:44:25 AM
Quote from: NineLives on August 26, 2020, 10:00:58 AMI got the rest of your changes done I believe, but I'll have you judge the staccatos I added in.
Looks great, I'd just put some in m14; that one stuck out to me the most.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on August 26, 2020, 11:17:18 AM
Quote from: Static on August 26, 2020, 10:44:25 AMI'd just put some in m14; that one stuck out to me the most.
Got it.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on August 26, 2020, 11:46:22 AM
accepted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on November 18, 2020, 02:08:41 PM
Snakey Chantey
Before I get much further with this, I need to say that I don't think the bassline for the main part of the song is sufficient. It's just not the same without the piano chords in there. Is it possible for you to combine the chords with the LH so it doesn't sound so barren?

Brothers Bear
RH m2 - I hear the 6ths here as 4ths, just like it's written in m1.
I don't think the An needs a courtesy accidental, also in RH m2. Again in m6 and a few other places. I don't think courtesy accidentals are required when they are in a different octave than the note that initially had the accidental. Up to you on this one, though.
Otherwise looks pretty fantastic. 

Treetop Tumble
Briefly passing through this one, and I'm not a fan of how not all echoes are treated equally. In the RH, they're given the same emphasis and volume as the main notes despite being half as loud. Meanwhile, in the LH m9-16 some echo notes are almost as loud as the main notes but aren't included at all.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on November 19, 2020, 06:35:56 PM
Mkay, so I tried on putting the chords with the bass for "Snakey Chantey," though I feel it looks a little messy, yet it's the only thing I could come up with and I may be getting some chords wrong, so I'll need your input on that, Maelstrom. The other two should be updated in the suggested sections.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on November 29, 2020, 07:04:17 PM
Brothers Bear
Looks like something broke the tremeloes. Since that's all it needs, I went ahead and made the changes and threw it in approved. I also broke the 8th beam in m11 because that could be confused for a triplet pretty easily at first glance.

Bonus Medley
As far as I can tell, the first song's title is Swanky Swing, not bonus intro. And for some reason it makes me think of a sonic song. Not sure why.
-RH m9-16 - Should be an octave higher
-RH m20 b3 - Should add a An to the chords here
-LH m3 - 8th notes here are on beat 4, not 3. Also in m7
-LH m4/8 b1 - 2 8ths here, not a quarter.
-RH m17-19 - include the pad chord here in some way, be it a restrike every measure with a new inversion or something held throughout all 3 measures.

No bonus lose theme? It really should be included here....
-m42 RH - b1 and b1.5 should be swapped, and b2 is an F. The lowest note in the b4.5 chord is an An
-m42 LH - b1-2 should be a A#, b3-4 a B, and b4.5-m43 an F.

was going to give more feedback but got side tracked

more coming eventually
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on November 29, 2020, 09:27:06 PM
Quote from: Maelstrom on November 29, 2020, 07:04:17 PMBonus Medley
As far as I can tell, the first song's title is Swanky Swing, not bonus intro.
-RH m9-16 - Should be an octave higher
Sorry I didn't notice the old sources were removed.
Actually, though they are the same song, "Bonus Intro" (https://youtu.be/tF0KZJYtruk) is arranged slightly different from "Swanky's Swing" (https://youtu.be/NXZkMAJ27A4) to where that section is more suited in its current octave, at least it sounds that way on my end. If you still want it moved up one, I can do that. Other changes to the first page still apply though, so those are in along with the "Bonus Win" stuff. Also, a pickup to the victory theme is in the 41st measure. Is there a certain way I should add the losing fanfare or separate the two?
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AM
Why use bonus intro? The sheet on the site simply labeled "bonus" has the notes an octave higher like Swanky's Swing so I'm not sure why you're not doing that one instead. I can't seem to find bonus intro in any official OSTs or anywhere. Do you know any more background behind it and the difference in-game?
Still on bonus medley:
m12/16 LH - first 2 notes are An, then the next 2 are Ab. The 5th is as written.
RH m23 - Bottom notes on the chords here is an E, not an F#. This applies to m41 as well.
RH m33 - Pretty sure there's no staccatos here. B2 is also a D, not an E.
m36 b3 - Notes here are D-D#, not C#-D
RH m39:
(https://i.fiery.me/mo8jv.jpg)
LH m28/29/30+36/37   - b2 should be a G#, b3 a A.
LH m38 - b3 is a G#, like b4.
RH m41 - Final 8th note is an F which leads properly into the bonus win section.
m42 - Sorry I gave you the wrong thing on LH b3-4 previously. The note is right between the B and C but the C makes more sense in context.
(https://i.fiery.me/Mwiiv.jpg)
To incorporate the bonus lose, you could have a 2nd ending and some sort of performance note that says "play one depending on the outcome" or something. Up to you though.

Treetop Tumble
Pretty solid overall. For m25-end, I would recommend putting the dynamics above the staves because they only apply to the Rh here. I would also recommend pasting m31 over m32 Rh and extending the dim all the way to end and having it end in a niente (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niente) rather than having it just drop out. 


Treetop Rock
LH:
m4 - All Es here should be Dbs. This is true for all instances of this phrase.
m36 b2.5 - the F is an octave lower

RH:
m9 - the bend up is from a F, not an F#
m10 - b2.5 is an E tied to a not-staccato e on b3.
m14 - b4 - Quarter, not an 8th.
m15-16 - It's repeatedly hit. If you don't want to include that, at least include the final strike on b1 of m16.
m18 b4 - the quarter is restruck on b4.5

General:
No restatement of the swing in m61? It comes back.
I'd recommend breaking a lot of your 8th beams over rests. They make sections like 49-60 hard to parse in the 2nd half of each measure. Breaking all instances that look like the first half wouldn't hurt either.

Snakey Chantey feedback coming soon
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 10, 2020, 01:55:03 PM
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMWhy use bonus intro? The sheet on the site simply labeled "bonus" has the notes an octave higher like Swanky's Swing so I'm not sure why you're not doing that one instead. I can't seem to find bonus intro in any official OSTs or anywhere. Do you know any more background behind it and the difference in-game?
I showed in the links from the comment before that they were, in a general sense, the same song but with different instrumentation. The section that you want up an octave is played in an octave higher on the piano in "Swanky's Swing," but is, what I hear, a sax in the current octave in "Bonus Intro." This particular version of the song, for the concern of background, is played before the bonus room, where you'd see the "Destroy them all!" or "Find the token!" messages.
Quote from: NineLives on November 29, 2020, 09:27:06 PM"Bonus Intro" (https://youtu.be/tF0KZJYtruk)
"Swanky's Swing" (https://youtu.be/NXZkMAJ27A4)
On the subject of changes, I believe I've got 'em all but this one:
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMTo incorporate the bonus lose, you could have a 2nd ending and some sort of performance note that says "play one depending on the outcome" or something. Up to you though.
I'll be getting to adding it in soon.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on December 12, 2020, 09:09:50 AM
Brothers Bear
Quote from: Maelstrom on November 29, 2020, 07:04:17 PMBrothers Bear
Looks like something broke the tremeloes.
Due to this, I made the following edits:
- m. 2 beat 1.5 RH should be B
- m. 4 beat 1.5 RH should be E
- Respelling the LH of m. 6 to keep parallel fifths
- D's in m. 7-8 RH should be D#s
- m. 10 LH should ascend G A B C, not G A A# B. Also should be written in fifths like the rest of the piece.
- Redistributed measures so first system isn't cramped with 4 measures and last system isn't stretched with 2. Also respaced them a bit

Let me know if this is good and I'll accept.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 10:48:22 AM
Looks good to me.
Also, the medley now has a "Bonus Lose" section ready for review.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 13, 2020, 02:30:51 PM
Quote from: NineLives on December 10, 2020, 01:55:03 PMI showed in the links from the comment before that they were, in a general sense, the same song but with different instrumentation. The section that you want up an octave is played in an octave higher on the piano in "Swanky's Swing," but is, what I hear, a sax in the current octave in "Bonus Intro." This particular version of the song, for the concern of background, is played before the bonus room, where you'd see the "Destroy them all!" or "Find the token!" messages.
I agree that they sound like different octaves, but I'm not sure you addressed my argument for using Swanky's Swing instead.
That being
a) it's in the official OST and thus more well known
b) the sheet on the site you are replacing has the octave placement of Swanky's Swing, not bonus intro which makes me think that the song arranged here is not bonus intro.

Additionally,
-Move the tempo lower
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMRH m23 - Bottom notes on the chords here is an E, not an F#. This applies to m41 as well.
This includes b1.5 in both places. 
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMLH m28/29/30+36/37   - b2 should be a G#, b3 a A.
Bonus Lose
-First 2 notes in both hands are a D#-E
-Final LH note is an F, not a Ab.
Honestly not sure how I feel about including the harmonica or whatever harmony. It masks the main voice and it wasn't included previously in the piece so it feels kinda out of place. If you really do want to include it, at least add a C to the final chord to round out the sound of it.

As for integration, this isn't really what I had in mind... Make the bonus win a 1st ending but delete the repeat sign and end bracket. You can actually then just edit the text to look something like this, or delete the text and add a larger dynamic or something
(https://i.fiery.me/sT1Yr.jpg)

Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:06:23 AMTreetop Rock
m10 - b2.5 is an E tied to a not-staccato e on b3.
This is for the next updater to check, otherwise I approve

Treetop Tumble
Approved

Snakey Chantey coming either after I eat supper or tomorrow night
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 13, 2020, 04:06:17 PM
Snakey Chantey
Finally. Alright, here we go.

You did a pretty great job with these chords, to be honest.
m24 and similar after simplification for playability to avoid repeated/too many notes
(https://i.fiery.me/KYRkG.jpg)

That's .... actually it. Great job.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on December 13, 2020, 04:08:07 PM
Brothers Bear

Quote from: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 10:48:22 AMLooks good to me.

Accepted :)



Treetop Tumble
- Key should be C minor (3 flats). The lone A natural in m. 10 is borrowed from the major mode.
- The way m. 1-17 and 17-23 are written now seems to me to imply something a bit different from what the original sounds like. How about removing the extra C's under beats 2 and 4 and putting accents on those top notes instead?
- m. 8 should use a dotted quarter like m. 24
- m. 11 should use a dotted half
- For the hairpins above m. 26/28 I'd recommend writing a dynamic (like pp) at the end, before the mf. It currently could easily be interpreted as "reduce in volume from something to mf".
- You can fit this on two pages by putting 6 systems on page 2. I'd recommend reducing the space between LH and RH staves aside from the first couple systems to around 0.9-0.95" (since it's pretty empty right now) to make more space between systems.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 08:26:43 PM
All right. Changes to "Treetop Tumble" and "Bonus Medley" have been made. I think I got the endings for medley set the intended way, without the repeat and such. I'll get to simplifying "Snakey Chantey" in a bit.
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 13, 2020, 02:30:51 PMI agree that they sound like different octaves, but I'm not sure you addressed my argument for using Swanky's Swing instead.
That being
a) it's in the official OST and thus more well known
b) the sheet on the site you are replacing has the octave placement of Swanky's Swing, not bonus intro which makes me think that the song arranged here is not bonus intro.
The reason I used the title "Bonus Intro" in the first place instead was because it's the title/version related to the bonus rooms of the game, like the rest of the songs used in the sheet. The "Swanky's Swing" title/version is used for the quiz game completely unrelated to the bonus rooms, so it felt more standalone than part of a bigger picture. If it'd make more sense to title the overall sheet to "Bonus Room Medley" so it's more specific, I could do that.
For your B statement, I don't quite understand. You are referring to the G-Han/DoKoCo "Bonus" sheet, yes?
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on December 14, 2020, 08:12:27 PM
Treetop Tumble
Quote from: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 08:26:43 PMAll right. Changes to "Treetop Tumble" and "Bonus Medley" have been made.
Gotcha, looks good. I adjusted the spacing a little further on page 2 and accepted.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 14, 2020, 08:30:27 PM
Quote from: NineLives on December 13, 2020, 08:26:43 PMAll right. Changes to "Treetop Tumble" and "Bonus Medley" have been made. I think I got the endings for medley set the intended way, without the repeat and such. I'll get to simplifying "Snakey Chantey" in a bit.The reason I used the title "Bonus Intro" in the first place instead was because it's the title/version related to the bonus rooms of the game, like the rest of the songs used in the sheet. The "Swanky's Swing" title/version is used for the quiz game completely unrelated to the bonus rooms, so it felt more standalone than part of a bigger picture. If it'd make more sense to title the overall sheet to "Bonus Room Medley" so it's more specific, I could do that.
For your B statement, I don't quite understand. You are referring to the G-Han/DoKoCo "Bonus" sheet, yes?
Please excuse the B statement, I was confusing myself.

Did you make the changes to token tango? I don't see the changes I quoted myself saying in my most recent post...

Additionally, a final ending line would be nice for the end of m43.
And having the bonus lose and bonus win on the final page in their entirety would make it easier to see what's going on and I would recommend that.

This one's very close
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 15, 2020, 08:32:23 AM
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 14, 2020, 08:30:27 PMDid you make the changes to token tango? I don't see the changes I quoted myself saying in my most recent post...

Additionally, a final ending line would be nice for the end of m43.
And having the bonus lose and bonus win on the final page in their entirety would make it easier to see what's going on and I would recommend that.
All right. I got the sheet updated now. I also put the repeat back on measure 39 for "Token Tango." I thought that'd be okay to have.
In addition, I got a bit of simplification implemented into "Snakey Chantey," but I'm sort of holding back a bit on it 'cause I'm unsure what'd sound okay simplified.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 15, 2020, 11:27:27 AM
Not sure if I worded it weirdly, but I meant the thing I posted is the simplified version
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 15, 2020, 01:10:34 PM
Oh. I'll get to changing the rest back then. Done.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 15, 2020, 01:51:40 PM
Both look great and are finally Approved
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on December 19, 2020, 11:00:40 AM
Bonus Intro
Bonus Lose

Some general things for Bonus Medley:

Snakey Chantey
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on December 19, 2020, 05:46:03 PM
Diddy Kong Racing - Lobby Theme

- For the chords in m. 1/3/5/7, I'd suggest lowering the top notes from G's to E's - it sounds a little bit more like the original that way to me...
- I would suggest writing in the organ hits in m. 5 and 7. Something like an Em7 chord spelled as D-E-G-B
- For the RH in m. 9/11/13/15, I'm... hearing something quite different from what you wrote? Something like this:

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/790032024639242261/unknown.png
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 20, 2020, 11:35:49 AM
All right, so the "Lobby Theme," "Snakey Chantey," and "Bonus Medley" sheets have been updated.
Quote from: Static on December 19, 2020, 11:00:40 AMSnakey Chantey
I am aware this would require major reworking of the entire arrangement, but I think the piano part would better if it was a lower RH layer (doesn't even have to be a 2nd layer, just add the notes to the RH melody). The piano rhythms line up with the accented notes in the melody, and there's spots where the piano is the only thing playing with the bass and you still have it in the LH (like m37-38). I highly encourage you to play around with it.[/li][/list]
I'll be looking over this a bit. I'll see what I can do with it if I can think of anything.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on December 20, 2020, 11:44:10 AM
Diddy Kong Racing - Lobby Theme
is approved
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on December 20, 2020, 11:52:25 AM
Bonus Medley has now been accepted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 20, 2020, 03:16:54 PM
Lobby Room
RH:
m6/14 I don't hear any note played on b3.5 at all?
also maybe break the beams over rests where it's a note on b1 and b2.5
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 20, 2020, 05:57:09 PM
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 20, 2020, 03:16:54 PMLobby Room
RH:
m6/14 I don't hear any note played on b3.5 at all?
also maybe break the beams over rests where it's a note on b1 and b2.5
Changed and updated.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 20, 2020, 06:27:16 PM
accepted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 21, 2020, 02:27:04 PM
Haunted Woods
RH:
-m8 b3.5/4.5 I hear a staccato A here, an octave lower than b3.
-m9-10 - Why even split this into 2 voices here when they completely overlap

LH:
-m13-15 - I'm hearing the 2 notes here as C and G, not G and D.
-m16 starts on a D (above the previous C) before descending d->c->Bb->a
m25:
(https://i.fiery.me/e8bdm.jpg)
The natural here means that you don't need the courtesy accidental in m26

That looks to be it.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on December 21, 2020, 04:16:50 PM
All right! Got it updated!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on December 21, 2020, 04:20:09 PM
Cool, accepted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 15, 2021, 06:52:00 PM
Treetop Rock
- mf at the beginning is a bit too far right
- Top staff on the last page is too high
- To be consistent spelling the tritone as a #4 instead of b5, Cb in m. 34/38 LH should be Bn and Db in m. 42/46 should be C#. Same idea for the last page
- m. 58 LH should have C# on the bottom, and m. 59 should have C# and E.
- The first RH Eb in m. 14 should actually be En
- Cb in RH of m. 68 should be Bb
- First note of m. 18 RH is Fn I think. I'd recommend spelling the previous F# as Gb instead

I got these things for you as well as the v26 articulation reset. The last thing is I think the rhythm in m. 51-52 isn't quite right. Let me know what you think about all the above.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 16, 2021, 12:08:07 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on February 15, 2021, 06:52:00 PMTreetop Rock
I got these things for you as well as the v26 articulation reset. The last thing is I think the rhythm in m. 51-52 isn't quite right. Let me know what you think about all the above.
All seems good. You were right, the rhythm was ahead by an eighth, so I moved it back.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 17, 2021, 05:13:16 PM
Cool. I also noticed there was a minor second at the end of m. 32 LH (C-Db) which I assume was an input error. FIxed that and the v26 articulations.

Accepting this one~
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 03:48:42 PM
Dino Domain
- First system is rather cramped. Would recommend making one of the later systems 5 measures instead.
- m. 4 is missing a melody A in the RH on beat 1.5.
- The left hand is quite... light-sounding with no bass. What would you think about using a pattern like this:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/812832967117635615/unknown.png
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 04:23:53 PM
Walrus Cove
This one's just like a medley of Christmas songs... haha

RH:
- I'm not really sure the two layers written in the intro really line up with what I tend to hone in on when listening to the original at a quick glance... but it makes musical sense so I'll say leave it for now and see if anyone else has any suggestions.
- Show the rests in the lower layer in the intro. The ones in m. 1/5 can be moved to normal staff height. Same goes for the part on page 3.
- Any reason why the melody from the end of 16 through end of 22 isn't an octave down like in the original? It would be good to contrast this with the other melodic line in 24 which should be at the height you have it now, and with staccatos. Same applies for the rest of this section.
- Beat 1.5 RH should be held over into beat 2 instead of there being a rest on beat 2. You could use a quarter instead. Same for 54.

LH:
- For the LH pattern at the beginning and places like it (up to m. 15), it sounds a bit empty with nothing playing on beat 1. I'd recommend trying out copying over the swung root notes you have on beat 1 into beat 3 to keep the drive going and seeing how you like that.
- Beat 1 LH of m. 2 is flipped. Same goes for a bunch of other measures.
- Measures 2, 6, 10, 15 - beat 4 in the LH should be the root note instead of F#.
- Second to last LH note of m. 4 and others like it should be Cn, not C#.
- Last three notes of m. 16 sound like E-Cn-C#
Make sure the above changes are implemented in each section they reoccur, since this piece repeats a lot.
- For m. 49/51/53/55 I'm hearing it with the root on beat 4 and the triplet going G-Fn-F# / A-Gn-G#
- Second to last note in m. 50 should be Cn instead of B. Similarly in m. 54/56 should be D instead of C#
- Getting this for m. 57 LH:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/812841864755281940/unknown.png

Other:
- You can make this 3 pages by putting 6 systems on page 2.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 21, 2021, 10:37:55 AM
All right, so I updated both sheets. You'll have to tell me how you feel about how I worked with the bass on "Walrus Cove." Other than that:
Quote from: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 03:48:42 PMDino Domain
- m. 4 is missing a melody A in the RH on beat 1.5.
I don't quite hear what you're hearing in this measure. Is it quieter than the other notes and I'm just not picking it up?
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 21, 2021, 11:34:25 AM
Thanks for the quick reply!

Dino Domain
Listening again, might have just been another layer throwing me off. Approving this one!

Walrus Cove
Quote from: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 04:23:53 PM- Any reason why the melody from the end of 16 through end of 22 isn't an octave down like in the original? It would be good to contrast this with the other melodic line in 24 which should be at the height you have it now, and with staccatos. Same applies for the rest of this section.
The same applies for the last note in m. 24 through the end of m. 30 - also an octave down.
Quote from: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 04:23:53 PMWalrus Cove
- For the LH pattern at the beginning and places like it (up to m. 15), it sounds a bit empty with nothing playing on beat 1. I'd recommend trying out copying over the swung root notes you have on beat 1 into beat 3 to keep the drive going and seeing how you like that.
I meant writing in the same two swung notes on beat 3 as you did on beat 1, sorry if that wasn't clear!
Quote from: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 04:23:53 PM- Beat 1 LH of m. 2 is flipped. Same goes for a bunch of other measures.
These still needed to be flipped.
Quote from: Latios212 on February 20, 2021, 04:23:53 PM- You can make this 3 pages by putting 6 systems on page 2.
The spacing's a bit inconsistent - systems are squished at the bottom and too close to the header, with too much space between the first few systems that could be utilized better.

In the interest of time I made the above few edits for you as well as doing the usual articulation reset. Let me know if you see anything off before I approve.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on February 21, 2021, 03:22:05 PM
Dino Domain
Something felt off about this song and it took me a while to figure it out. First of all, there's no dotted 16th-32nd rhythm. It's all swung 8ths. In addition, the places you have written as normal 8ths (e.g. end of m4) are also swung 8ths.

Why not make m1 a pickup measure? There's percussion in the original, but you didn't notate it.

Fix these two things and you're good to go.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 21, 2021, 05:12:37 PM
Quote from: Latios212 on February 21, 2021, 11:34:25 AMWalrus Cove
In the interest of time I made the above few edits for you as well as doing the usual articulation reset. Let me know if you see anything off before I approve.
Looks okay to me.
Quote from: Maelstrom on February 21, 2021, 03:22:05 PMDino Domain
Something felt off about this song and it took me a while to figure it out. First of all, there's no dotted 16th-32nd rhythm. It's all swung 8ths. In addition, the places you have written as normal 8ths (e.g. end of m4) are also swung 8ths.
Are you sure? 'Cause I don't hear the 8ths as swung, especially in measures like 8, 10, 12, 14 and 16.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 21, 2021, 05:14:38 PM
Walrus Cove
Approved!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on February 21, 2021, 08:15:23 PM
Quote from: NineLives on February 21, 2021, 05:12:37 PMAre you sure? 'Cause I don't hear the 8ths as swung, especially in measures like 8, 10, 12, 14 and 16.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i meant swing 16ths
why are words hard
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 22, 2021, 05:09:50 AM
All right. "Dino Domain" has been updated!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on February 24, 2021, 04:10:24 PM
Short on time so 2 quick things about dino domain
1) swing should be set to 50, not 75. Had the same issue with my recent arrangement that had swing 16ths
2) The bassline needs to be double checked in the context of the swing 16ths since that changes the rhythm of it now.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 24, 2021, 04:50:41 PM
Quote from: Maelstrom on February 24, 2021, 04:10:24 PM1) swing should be set to 50, not 75. Had the same issue with my recent arrangement that had swing 16ths
2) The bassline needs to be double checked in the context of the swing 16ths since that changes the rhythm of it now.
Swing's been set, and I couldn't pick up anything different in the rhythm of the bass/chords in the source opposed to the sheet after listening for a while except for a few staccatos and similar.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 24, 2021, 11:05:40 PM
Darkmoon Caverns
- For m1-16, all the LH chords should have an additional note at the bottom, a third below the lowest note you currently have. They're all 7th chords. Same for m34-41.
- The whole note chord in m8/12/16/20/24 really breaks the rhythmic momentum of the piece. I would try to add or change something to add more rhythm to the left hand, probably by repeating either the bottom note of the chord or the whole chord with either the same rhythm as the previous measures or a different rhythm (like maybe quarter notes). (m29-31 is totally fine; I really like the momentum break there.)
- I personally don't feel like you need the courtesy E naturals in m9/11/13/15 since m9 is at the beginning of a new system, and m11/13/15 are similar enough to m9 that the repeated courtesy naturals feel redundant.
- I would suggest adding the arpeggio in m16.
- In beats 3-4 of m17-19/m21-23 LH, I believe the bottom note of the LH chord should be an A instead of a Bb (A-D-F).
- Lower the quarter rest on beat 1 of m20 LH Layer 2 so it's not touching the Layer 1.
- For m25, instead of using a tenuto, I would write the RH with a slur—either using a single slur from the grace note to beat 2, or using one slur from grace note to beat 1 and another slur from beat 1 to beat 2.
- For m26 and m30, I would remove the tenutos on beat 1; they're redundant when you already have the slur.
- I also prefer not to have nested slurs like in m27, but I think it's still fine as is.
- Beats 3 and 3.75 of m27 RH should be beamed... not sure why they're not. It automatically rebeams for me when I click on it.
- I would prefer not to include the courtesy natural on beat 1 of m28.
- Beat 3.5 of m28 RH should be written as a quarter note instead of two tied eighths.
- In m25 and m30 RH, I would suggest unbeaming beats 3.5 and 4.5 since the rest of the sheet is beamed in single beats.
- On beat 3 of m31, I hear the LH chord invert down—I would move the Bb down an octave to the bottom.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 24, 2021, 11:36:46 PM
Walrus Cove
- mf in m1 is a little bit low and could be moved slightly up to be centered between the two staves.
- For m1/3/5/7, m41/43/45/47, and m59/61/63/65, I hear LH beat 4 as low D - B# - C# instead of A - B - C#. (Not completely sure about whether it should be written as B# or Cn, I will get back to you on that)
- LH beat 4 of m13 is low D - C# - D. Same for m38.
- The second-to-last note in m18/20/22/etc. LH should be B# instead of B.
- For m11/15/35/39, RH beat 1.5 sounds like it should only be an eighth instead of a quarter.
- The eighth note on RH beat 2 of m18/20/26/28/etc. doesn't sound staccato to me.
- The last eighth note in m49 RH sounds like it's tied over to beat 1 of m50.
- In m56-57, I hear RH Layer 2 as having a quarter note rhythm instead of a half note rhythm (i.e. E-E-E#-E#-F#-F#-G-G).

Will get back to you on enharmonic spellings for this one.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on February 25, 2021, 01:06:01 PM
Spaceport Alpha

Sorry that this one's been waiting a while.  This a pretty cool piece.

Left hand notes:
-Every time you have the pattern on beat 4 of bar 1 (i.e. lots of places) I think that should be two semiquavers at the end.  It'd certainly be more consistent with all of the other times that rhythm comes up for different pitches.
-Bar 10 beat 4.5 should be another C.
-Bar 11/13 beat 4.5 I hear F# -> B rather than E E.
-Bar 15/17 beat 2.5 should be an F#.  Nice descending tritone there.

Right hand notes:
-Bar 7/11/others, the little interjection on beat 2.5 should be D B not B G.
-Bar 10 missing harmony:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/814597371324661790/unknown.png
[close]
-Bar 18 beat 2 should be two semiquavers rather than a quaver.
-Bar 35/37 the Ebs should be D#s.

General arrangement points:
-I'd recommend trying to get some of the harmony into bars 11-14.  The harmony that is outlined there is B -> Em -> B -> Em -> G (by the harp thing).
-Generally speaking, I think the left hand should be lower.  Currently it really lacks the power and the drive of the original.  Honestly I think you could just put the whole thing down the octave, you wouldn't even really need an 8va anywhere.
-I know I suggested adding in harmony for bar 10, but I think bar 34 has too much.  Those chords are by far the most awkward thing to play in this arrangement and I don't think the difficulty spike really benefits the sheet.
-21-28 might be a good place for an 8va.
-Make sure the slurs in 35-38 end on the ends of the ties (i.e. a note later than currently).  Also, I think the slurs could made a little more consistent by slurring it like this:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/814601512336228413/unknown.png
[close]
-I'm not sure about the staccatos in 21-28, they don't sound particularly needed there.
-On the other hand, the RH dyads in bars 3-6/19-20 feel like they could really do with some staccatos.
-I'd suggest slurring the first and third quaver in beats 3-4 of bar 8.
-A general comment: there's a bunch of places where the RH swaps to and fro between two different voices.  It might be helpful to break the beams in these situations to make it clear that the voice is changing, or alternatively use phrase marks to help distinguish them better (although both of these options have their downsides...  See what you think.)
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 25, 2021, 04:32:06 PM
All right, so "Darkmoon Caverns" and "Walrus Cove" have been updated. I'll get to "Spaceport Alpha in just a moment.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 25, 2021, 07:25:23 PM
Darkmoon Caverns
Just one thing: In the last system, I would keep all the chords in root inversion to keep the sound consistent.

Walrus Cove
Getting back to you on the enharmonic spelling: spell the B#'s as Cn's instead.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 11:19:00 AM
Mkay, so "Spaceport Alpha" has been updated but I got a couple things I want to explain my thinking on:
Quote from: Libera on February 25, 2021, 01:06:01 PMSpaceport Alpha
-I'd recommend trying to get some of the harmony into bars 11-14.  The harmony that is outlined there is B -> Em -> B -> Em -> G (by the harp thing).
-I'm not sure about the staccatos in 21-28, they don't sound particularly needed there.
While it would be nice to add in the harp part, I feel it might overcomplicate what I have in measures 11 to 14, since the rest of the piece doesn't have any additions similar to that in other measures. Personally, I find it out of place here, regardless of how it fits in the original source.
For the staccatos in 21 through 28, while not particularly needed, I did hear them from the original source, and I thought it fit well with the rhythm of the bass to have them there or at least have the ones on beat 2.5.
Other than those two things, everything else should be in order unless I missed something by accident.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 11:48:56 AM
Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 25, 2021, 07:25:23 PMDarkmoon Caverns
Just one thing: In the last system, I would keep all the chords in root inversion to keep the sound consistent.
Walrus Cove
Getting back to you on the enharmonic spelling: spell the B#'s as Cn's instead.
Done!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on February 26, 2021, 02:05:34 PM
Quote from: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 11:19:00 AMWhile it would be nice to add in the harp part, I feel it might overcomplicate what I have in measures 11 to 14, since the rest of the piece doesn't have any additions similar to that in other measures. Personally, I find it out of place here, regardless of how it fits in the original source.

I didn't say add the harp part, I suggested adding in the (currently missing) harmony from the harp part.  Something like this:
Spoiler
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/492809359961882625/814975328287457320/unknown.png
[close]

Also, the 8vas in 21-28 are a little close to the staff.

Also (x2), if you're slurring repeated notes, you should add in staccatos to help distinguish them from ties.

Also (x3), it seems like all of the articulations have been v26'd and I swear they were fine before.  In any case I'll just fix them at the end.

Also (x4), have you considered adding in more dynamics?  Maybe you don't want to, but it's a thought.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 03:15:17 PM
Quote from: Libera on February 26, 2021, 02:05:34 PMI didn't say add the harp part, I suggested adding in the (currently missing) harmony from the harp part.
Ah, okay. Sorry, I got confused. Other than that, I made the rest of the changes. For the dynamics, I added some forte and crescendos. Should be good. Sorry that the versions keep getting the articulations mixed up.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 26, 2021, 03:33:11 PM
Darkmoon Caverns
- Bottom note of the chords in m39 beats1-2 and m41 should be F# instead of G.
- I would move the arranger info up so it's not so close to the RH notes at the end of the first system.

Walrus Cove
- I would suggest writing the tempo as quarter=196 instead of half=98. Also, I would move the tempo marking a little bit up so it's not so close to the stem on m1 beat 1.
- In m11/15/35/39, you might consider breaking the beam over the rest. It's acceptable as is, but not beaming over rests is conventionally a bit more preferred.
- The Cn's in m16/32/40 RH (not LH) should be changed back to B#'s; my bad for not specifying.
- In the original track, the whole note in m52 RH only lasts for half the measure. Totally fine if you want to keep it as a whole note, just thought I'd bring up the choice of whole note vs. half note there.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 03:55:18 PM
Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 26, 2021, 03:33:11 PMDarkmoon Caverns
- Bottom note of the chords in m39 beats1-2 and m41 should be F# instead of G.
- I would move the arranger info up so it's not so close to the RH notes at the end of the first system.

Walrus Cove
- I would suggest writing the tempo as quarter=196 instead of half=98. Also, I would move the tempo marking a little bit up so it's not so close to the stem on m1 beat 1.
- In m11/15/35/39, you might consider breaking the beam over the rest. It's acceptable as is, but not beaming over rests is conventionally a bit more preferred.
- The Cn's in m16/32/40 RH (not LH) should be changed back to B#'s; my bad for not specifying.
- In the original track, the whole note in m52 RH only lasts for half the measure. Totally fine if you want to keep it as a whole note, just thought I'd bring up the choice of whole note vs. half note there.
Got 'em covered!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on February 26, 2021, 03:55:44 PM
Ah I did try to put this in my picture but I should have mentioned it as well.  Make sure to put the rests in 11-13 back to the usual height.

Also (x5), I know I said to add the staccatos, but I realise that the last one in each set of three should probably not be staccato to reflect the original.  The first two are still useful for distinguishing the phrase mark though.

Everything else looks good.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 04:01:19 PM
Quote from: Libera on February 26, 2021, 03:55:44 PMAh I did try to put this in my picture but I should have mentioned it as well.  Make sure to put the rests in 11-13 back to the usual height.
Also (x5), I know I said to add the staccatos, but I realise that the last one in each set of three should probably not be staccato to reflect the original.  The first two are still useful for distinguishing the phrase mark though.
Taken care of!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Libera on February 26, 2021, 04:04:52 PM
Spaceport Alpha

Approved.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 26, 2021, 04:06:35 PM
Darkmoon Caverns
I just approved it so someone else can take a look soon but something I just noticed:
- The spacing's a bit uneven/cramped—highlight all measures and go to Utilities > Music Spacing > Apply Note Spacing and it should look better.
- I don't think you need the pedal markings in m31... looks a bit out of place since the rest of the sheet doesn't have any others now anyway.

Walrus Cove and Snakey Chantey coming shortly.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on February 26, 2021, 06:53:52 PM
Darkmoon Caverns
Aside from what MSF said above which looks already resolved, A flats in m. 5-8 should be G#s (chromatically ascending). That's about it, so I got that for you with the articulation reset (and slight spacing adjustments to the parentheses in m. 4 aren't so squished). Accepting!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 26, 2021, 07:01:51 PM
Walrus Cove
Accepted!

Snakey Chantey
- Move the mf a bit down in the pickup measure so that it's more centered between the RH and LH staves.
- I would recommend writing this in 4/4 with q=232 instead of cut time with h=116. The track feels like it has fast quarter-note beats rather than slow half-note beats.
- IMO the LH is too muddy in such a low register. I would strongly recommend raising the entire LH up an octave and writing it in treble clef (except I would still write the phrase m46-49 in bass clef because the LH goes down to a D in m46-47; i.e. raise m46-49 up an octave like everything else but just keep the bass clef there only).
- In m35/m39, I think RH beat 3 also sounds staccato. Also, I would add a slur from beat 1 to beat 2 in both measures to make the phrasing (the first note being held) more visually clear.
- I would remove the eighth note on m42 LH beat 1.5 for playability's sake.
- The Db's in m42/45 LH should be written as C#'s.
- I would suggest removing the lowest notes of the three chords indicated here for playability's sake. The extra note makes it cumbersome to play, and not much is really lost since the note is already doubled an octave up:
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/4ZfhvMz.png)
[close]
- m45 RH beat 3.5 sounds like a held quarter note rather than an eighth note.
- I would suggest removing the courtesy Fn's in m47-48. It's already pretty obvious that they're Fn's since F# comes right after.
- The last system looks kind of stretched with only two measures. I would either make the last two systems three measures each, or shorten the last system so it doesn't take up the full width of the page.
- m50 RH beat 3 should be written as Ab instead of G#.
- m50 LH beat 4 should have Gn instead of G#.
- Do the music re-spacing again once you've done implemented the changes just to make sure everything's spaced properly.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on February 27, 2021, 11:27:38 AM
Spaceport Alpha
Looks good except for one thing...

On repeats, m3-4 LH actually should look like m5-6, with the D on beat 2.5. I would just add these 2 extra measures to the end and move the forward repeat sign two measures ahead to m5.
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Maelstrom on February 27, 2021, 12:04:47 PM
Quote from: NineLives on February 24, 2021, 04:50:41 PMSwing's been set, and I couldn't pick up anything different in the rhythm of the bass/chords in the source opposed to the sheet after listening for a while except for a few staccatos and similar.
I went through and double checked it all. Looks great!
 accepted
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: NineLives on February 27, 2021, 12:44:53 PM
"Snakey Chantey" and "Spaceport Alpha" have both been updated!
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: Static on February 27, 2021, 12:58:18 PM
Spaceport Alpha looks good
Title: Re: Nine Lives' Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on February 27, 2021, 01:09:21 PM
Snakey Chantey accepted!