Finished replacements:
Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
- The Grand Finale (https://youtu.be/FBLp-3Rw_u0) (Old PDF) (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/1757)
- The Grand Finale (Two Pianos) (https://youtu.be/FBLp-3Rw_u0) (Old PDF) (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/1397) (Format fixes only)
Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
- Elder Princess Shroob Battle (https://youtu.be/Du6tMHU6wb8) (Old PDF) (https://ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/447)
- Princess Shroob Battle (https://youtu.be/f0hpyHasI34) (Old PDF) (https://ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/1491)
Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga
- Cackletta, the Fiercest Foe (https://youtu.be/wuSIA0iw2Zw) (Old PDF) (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/770) (Format fixes only)
- Showdown with Cackletta! (https://youtu.be/jcCJP35uIEg) (Old PDF) (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/1697)
Super Mario Galaxy 2
- Green Star (https://youtu.be/RjRGMp733pU) (Old PDF) (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/1759)
...and that's all the replacements I will submit for this project.
Princess Shroob Battle- The A in Alla marcia should be captialized.
- The page numbers are not aligned correctly. This can be fixed later if your version of Finale can't.
- There's a bunch of extra space on the bottom of each page, while the top of each page seems a bit squished. I'd adjust the spacing of the systems. Again, if you can't do this, it can be fixed later before it's accepted.
- Watch out - that quarter note line changes every 4th bar; it is a 4-bar repeated pattern, not 2-bar.
- If you want, you can include some of the middle chord voices during whole notes - in m5-11 or m17-23. Changing the texture of the piece even just a little bit goes a long way in making a piano arrangement more satisfying to listen to and play.
- You could include the brass lines in m13-16 up an octave in the RH; up to you though.
- Starting at m34, I would remove the lower D whenever it shows up (and later the Cs). It makes it so you don't have to move your hand so much and it has basically the same sound as before when played live.
Elder Princess Shroob Battle- Wow this is a lot shorter than I remember.
- There's some timpani pickups in m5-12 you could include in the LH if you want to.
- I like the revoicing in m21-22, but it sounds really weird having the F-Bb movement in the top voice in m23. That would probably be better down an octave. Also, the tie in m21 should be flipped up.
- m24-25: This would be better written as just a fermata on m24, and removing m25 altogether. In the original piece, the chord is held and then it goes right into the next part, there's no long break in the music.
- m26-27 (not taking into account removing m25): The half rests in the LH should be split into 2 quarter rests.
- Any reason you didn't include the timpani roll measure at the beginning? Even if you don't want to include the roll in the piano, I'd still include the measure, just make it a rest.
- I can take care of the extra stuff you mentioned after all this is changed. I'd also recommend spacing out the staves a bit, so I can do that too if you'd like. (Also fixing some page number and title alignments)
Princess Shroob BattleQuote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- The A in Alla marcia should be captialized.
- Watch out - that quarter note line changes every 4th bar; it is a 4-bar repeated pattern, not 2-bar.
Adjusted.
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- The page numbers are not aligned correctly. This can be fixed later if your version of Finale can't.
- There's a bunch of extra space on the bottom of each page, while the top of each page seems a bit squished. I'd adjust the spacing of the systems. Again, if you can't do this, it can be fixed later before it's accepted.
I use Finale Notepad so I can't fix these by using the program. Please do help fixing these formatting issues.
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- If you want, you can include some of the middle chord voices during whole notes - in m5-11 or m17-23. Changing the texture of the piece even just a little bit goes a long way in making a piano arrangement more satisfying to listen to and play.
- You could include the brass lines in m13-16 up an octave in the RH; up to you though.
- Starting at m34, I would remove the lower D whenever it shows up (and later the Cs). It makes it so you don't have to move your hand so much and it has basically the same sound as before when played live.
Thanks for the arranging tips. Adapted.
Elder Princess Shroob BattleQuote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- I like the revoicing in m21-22, but it sounds really weird having the F-Bb movement in the top voice in m23. That would probably be better down an octave. Also, the tie in m21 should be flipped up.
- m24-25: This would be better written as just a fermata on m24, and removing m25 altogether. In the original piece, the chord is held and then it goes right into the next part, there's no long break in the music.
- m26-27 (not taking into account removing m25): The half rests in the LH should be split into 2 quarter rests.
Changed.
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- There's some timpani pickups in m5-12 you could include in the LH if you want to.
The playback sounds weird to me when adding all of these notes, so I have only added a few of them
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- Any reason you didn't include the timpani roll measure at the beginning? Even if you don't want to include the roll in the piano, I'd still include the measure, just make it a rest.
...I forgot to include it. Fixed.
Quote from: Static on June 14, 2020, 12:17:09 PM- I can take care of the extra stuff you mentioned after all this is changed. I'd also recommend spacing out the staves a bit, so I can do that too if you'd like. (Also fixing some page number and title alignments)
Thanks again for the help.
Green StarThank you for doing this one :) been meaning to have this one replaced for ages...
- List Mahito Yokota as the composer as well; Koji Kondo composed the original Good Egg Galaxy theme, but this version is by Yokota
- Your left margin gets smaller on page 2 (If you have Notepad I can make aesthetic edits for you)
- m. 7 should have courtesy natural on the A since it follows the A#. Same for m. 11
- I don't think the staccatos in m. 6 and 10 are needed
- It might help to have some indication that the LH can help out with the second layer in the RH, but eh I think it's obvious enough as is
- Crescendo should end before (not on) the barline in m. 20
Before I move on to page 2, may I suggest taking another look at your layer work? I know this is quite tricky here juggling what looks like three voices in the right hand... but looking at the sheet is is pretty unclear where the melody is, as the true melody jumps between layers and often flips its stem direction. It's okay to have notes above the melody, but it should be clear where the main melody lies so the performer can emphasize it.
Check out what I've done with the formatting for both of those Princess Shroob sheets here (https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Aq9Xnyvbv1FaYPrPFyY3HoYvtFxjilfY?usp=sharing). If you like the changes, feel free to upload them to the folder.
The rest of the changes you made look great so I'll be approving both of them.
Green Star
All mentioned issues have been fixed and page 2 of the sheet is reworked.
Princess Shroob Battle
The sheet looks great to me.
Elder Princess Shroob Battle
The metronome mark in m. 26 should be visible (Notepad can't change this), otherwise looks great.
Elder Princess Shroob Battle
Got the tempo marking. Remaining feedback:
- The first measure - the grace note at the beginning is a bit ambiguous I think. The slur looks like a tie implying that the note should be struck once not twice on beat 1. Actually, thoughts about making this a tremolo so that you can play a crescendo to emulate the drumroll?
- It would probably be good to have a dim. somewhere in m. 22-25.
- The pedal marking should be moved a bit down/left in m. 22
- The rests in the bottom staff in m. 26-29 should be hidden if it's meant to go to the upper staff instead. I'd suggest something like the following - either flipping or providing a cross-staff line to indicate the voice moving:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/722936221671882752/unknown.png
- The last measure would be great with something in the bass written in to transition back to the fuller sounding beginning (similar to the pickup).
(will get back to Green Star later, thanks for updating it!)
Due to Notepad limitations, not a lot of changes can be made without affecting the existing formatting. Instead, I have created and uploaded a separate file with the changes (the "Altered" one). Please copy the changes over to the unaltered file.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 03:16:30 PM- The first measure - the grace note at the beginning is a bit ambiguous I think. The slur looks like a tie implying that the note should be struck once not twice on beat 1. Actually, thoughts about making this a tremolo so that you can play a crescendo to emulate the drumroll?
Seems like a better idea! The grace note indicates an extra note (played loud) at the start (whole pattern is two loud notes followed by tremolo with increasing dynamic starting from p to f).
Quote from: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 03:16:30 PM- The rests in the bottom staff in m. 26-29 should be hidden if it's meant to go to the upper staff instead. I'd suggest something like the following - either flipping or providing a cross-staff line to indicate the voice moving:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/401094846107877377/722936221671882752/unknown.png
I went with a cross-staff notation at beat 2 instead. Don't know if the notation is clear enough though.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 03:16:30 PM- The last measure would be great with something in the bass written in to transition back to the fuller sounding beginning (similar to the pickup).
Doubling the last two bass notes one octave lower should do the trick.
Ah I was referring to an octave tremolo rather than one note - which is easier to play and nicer sounding. Like this (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/641)
I'd also suggest this for the last measure as well.
Let me know what you think and I'll make the edits on the file!
Seems good! Go ahead and edit the file.
really briefly, I'd recommend switching a few of the voices between pianos. This is mainly because those massive arpeggios would be a pain to sync up between two pianos and would certainly be easier if one person played them with two hands. What do you think about this?
Elder Princess Shroob BattleQuote from: Rubikium on June 18, 2020, 08:48:22 PMSeems good! Go ahead and edit the file.
Cool! Edited the base file. If it all looks good to you I'll accept
Quote from: Maelstrom on June 19, 2020, 08:10:51 AMreally briefly, I'd recommend switching a few of the voices between pianos. This is mainly because those massive arpeggios would be a pain to sync up between two pianos and would certainly be easier if one person played them with two hands. What do you think about this?
Is this for The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)?
Quote from: Latios212 on June 19, 2020, 06:59:55 PMCool! Edited the base file. If it all looks good to you I'll accept
There are markings still need to be hidden in m.11. Otherwise the file look great to me.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 19, 2020, 06:59:55 PMIs this for The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)?
Yes, it should be as this sheet is the only two pianos sheet I am handling. I haven't finish editing though.
Quote from: Rubikium on June 20, 2020, 11:19:54 PMThere are markings still need to be hidden in m.11. Otherwise the file look great to me.
Cool, got it.
Accepting!
Quote from: Rubikium on June 20, 2020, 11:19:54 PMYes, it should be as this sheet is the only two pianos sheet I am handling. I haven't finish editing though.
The deadline has passed already... what's left to do?
Quote from: Rubikium on June 20, 2020, 11:19:54 PMYes, it should be as this sheet is the only two pianos sheet I am handling. I haven't finish editing though.
Quote from: Latios212 on June 21, 2020, 04:03:44 PMThe deadline has passed already... what's left to do?
The edit mentioned was due to Maelstrom's suggestion, and was not the first edit I made to the sheet. Sorry for the confusion. The edited sheet is now uploaded.
hey it's me again giving suggestions for grand finale duet without actually checking it
I think it's probably in your best intrest to put the RH from piano 2 m1-3 into piano 1's LH and splitting the arpeggios up like m7+. This would make it much easier to play, although you'll need to work something out with the final note of m4.
Princess Shroob Battle - Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
Looking good! I made the following edits in the file linked below:
- Moved the notes with accidentals to the right in Layer 1 LH so that they wouldn't collide with Layer 2 notes
- Unbeamed the last two eighth notes in the RH in m14
- Shortened the width of the last system so it doesn't look stretched out
Here's the file with these fixes: https://www.dropbox.com/s/vpey6omfuy9dbho/Mario%20%26%20Luigi%20Partners%20in%20Time%20-%20Princess%20Shroob%20Battle%20%28edited%207-8-20%29.mus?dl=0 (https://www.dropbox.com/s/vpey6omfuy9dbho/Mario%20%26%20Luigi%20Partners%20in%20Time%20-%20Princess%20Shroob%20Battle%20%28edited%207-8-20%29.mus?dl=0)
Give the file a double-check to make sure nothing looks off... v26 has issues with importing/exporting sometimes. I think everything should be okay since there are no articulations, but I would still check.
Some last remaining suggestions:
- You might consider removing the low F# in Layer 2 LH on m4 beat 4 since the RH can't easily be used to get the G on top.
- From the LH in m33 onward, I would recommend adding a fifth to all the octaves in the LH (i.e. a D to the G octaves, a C to the F octaves) since I think the octaves sound pretty bare on their own. Or, if having three notes at a time in the LH sounds too heavy, you could also do something like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/3xOngRp.png)
Coming back to
Green Star...
Quote from: Rubikium on June 17, 2020, 09:30:08 AMAll mentioned issues have been fixed and page 2 of the sheet is reworked.
Thanks, the right hand part is much clearer now! Onto my remaining feedback on page 2, which looks great:
- LH in m. 24/32 beat 3 should be Cn as well. Also the slur in these measures are a bit close to the first natural sign
- mf in m. 37 is a bit high and the one in m. 39 is a bit far to the right
- The RH continues playing the chords in eighth notes all the way to the end (m. 40 beat 3).
- Staff spacing could use a bit of adjusting in places (i.e. more space between LH/RH in the last couple measures, moving the 3rd/4th systems on page 4 further apart a bit) - I can help you with that later
Princess Shroob Battle
The file looks good. I have adapted the mentioned suggestions in the updated file.
Green Star
Except for staff spacing, everything has been fixed. Please do help me with the adjustments.
The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)
Thanks for the suggestion, but I would like to update the file after more suggestions are given.
Quote from: Rubikium on July 12, 2020, 11:58:44 PMGreen Star
Except for staff spacing, everything has been fixed. Please do help me with the adjustments.
Got it! Spacing adjusted - sheet is
approved ;D
Princess Shroob Battle - accepted
Green Star - Super Mario Galaxy 2
- Tempo should be 118 BPM instead of 120, unless you strongly prefer to use only tempos corresponding to traditional metronome markings.
- I think mp and mf would be more appropriate dynamic markings than mf and f.
- For m5 and m9, you might consider removing the F# in the RH on beat 3 so that it doesn't sound so dissonant.
- For m6 and m10, I would remove the A# in Layer 2 on beat 1 just for simplicity's sake.
- For m7 and m11, I'm hearing RH Layer 2 beat 3 as F#-A instead of E-F#.
- I would either remove or parenthesize the B in m14 RH Layer 2 beat 1, since the LH also plays that B.
- m19 RH beat 3 has a Dn that you could add to Layer 2.
- m23 seems like an A major chord, so the top note of the dyad on m23 LH beat 2 would be better off as an A rather than as a G#. (Also, it looks like a lot of the dyads are inverted downwards/have different notes than the ones in the original but are still part of the same chord; I'm assuming these changes were made for playability?)
- In m29-30, were the violin 8th notes on beat 3 omitted from Layer 2 intentionally?
- On m35 LH beat 2, I hear E in the dyad instead of F#.
- On m35 RH beat 3, the violin plays an A that you could add under the D# in Layer 2. If you add this, I would also add a G# to m36 LH Layer 1.
- It seems a bit unnecessary to have two dynamic markings in the last system, one in each hand, just for the sake of one note (the LH in m37). I think it would be cleanest to simply put one dynamic marking for both hands in m37.
Quote from: Maelstrom on July 08, 2020, 05:24:43 AMhey it's me again giving suggestions for grand finale duet without actually checking it
I think it's probably in your best intrest to put the RH from piano 2 m1-3 into piano 1's LH and splitting the arpeggios up like m7+. This would make it much easier to play, although you'll need to work something out with the final note of m4.
Quote from: Rubikium on July 12, 2020, 11:58:44 PMThe Grand Finale (Two Pianos)
Thanks for the suggestion, but I would like to update the file after more suggestions are given.
Thanks for getting rid of the octave clefs in this one. More suggestions incoming!
- I rather like the "filler" eighth notes in the RH of I in m. 7+. Is there a reason why you took those out?
- A lot of notes are flipped when they shouldn't be - for example m. 10/22 I beat 3 RH, m. 26 II beat 3 RH, most of the chords in m. 27-34, the beat 1 dotted quarter notes in m. 35+, etc.
- II RH in m. 15-18 (and the similar part later) would be better written in two layers as the upper and lower voices do independent things
- The overlap is quite awkward in m. 10/22 I, you may want to consider rewriting that differently
- m. 27, 31-34, etc. II RH chords - this is on two pianos so you can feel free to leave the chords as they are even if a note overlaps one in the melody
Cackletta, the Fiercest Foe- I'm pretty sure the title should just be "Cackletta Theme". I don't know if the 3DS version changed track names, but if you're arranging something for the GBA version you should use those track names.
- I know there's not exactly a lot of room to work with here, but the 4th system (m13-15) is pretty cramped. Maybe adjust the spacing a bit for everything else and move those staves farther apart, or flip the slurs and articulations so they're inside the staff.
- I think the chord in m19 would sound better with G# as the lowest note, so maybe move the B# to the RH (keep it in the same octave).
- If you do the above thing, then add "Edited by Rubikium" to the top.
Showdown with Cackletta!- Title should be "Final Cackletta", shouldn't it? Similar to above.
- Tempo marking should be aligned with the left side of the time signature.
- You can hide the half rests in m6-9 if you'd like, and flip beats 3-4 up.
- The accidentals in this one are weird, but I think you picked the most sensible and easy-to-read ones.
- I hear that repeated line at m10 RH sounding more like this (applies for m10-17):
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/6RbNcaN.png)
- I hear the bassline start as 2 consecutive 16ths (same note) instead of a single 8th note.
- The last two systems would look a little better if you had 2 measures, then 3, instead of 3 and 2.
- You can space everything on page 2 more apart to account for the extra space on the bottom.
Green Star - Super Mario Galaxy 2Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- Tempo should be 118 BPM instead of 120, unless you strongly prefer to use only tempos corresponding to traditional metronome markings.
Please help me change the tempo to 118 BPM.
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- m23 seems like an A major chord, so the top note of the dyad on m23 LH beat 2 would be better off as an A rather than as a G#. (Also, it looks like a lot of the dyads are inverted downwards/have different notes than the ones in the original but are still part of the same chord; I'm assuming these changes were made for playability?)
I'm pretty sure that dyad is C#-E, rather than E-G#. Some dyads are indeed changed for playability, but I might also have misheard a few of them
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- In m29-30, were the violin 8th notes on beat 3 omitted from Layer 2 intentionally?
Nope, I didn't heard them before. Notes added
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- On m35 RH beat 3, the violin plays an A that you could add under the D# in Layer 2. If you add this, I would also add a G# to m36 LH Layer 1.
I didn't add it because the jumps would be awkward to execute
Quote from: mastersuperfan on August 14, 2020, 12:09:00 PM- I think mp and mf would be more appropriate dynamic markings than mf and f.
- For m5 and m9, you might consider removing the F# in the RH on beat 3 so that it doesn't sound so dissonant.
- For m6 and m10, I would remove the A# in Layer 2 on beat 1 just for simplicity's sake.
- For m7 and m11, I'm hearing RH Layer 2 beat 3 as F#-A instead of E-F#.
- I would either remove or parenthesize the B in m14 RH Layer 2 beat 1, since the LH also plays that B.
- m19 RH beat 3 has a Dn that you could add to Layer 2.
- On m35 LH beat 2, I hear E in the dyad instead of F#.
- It seems a bit unnecessary to have two dynamic markings in the last system, one in each hand, just for the sake of one note (the LH in m37). I think it would be cleanest to simply put one dynamic marking for both hands in m37.
Changed
The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)Quote from: Latios212 on August 19, 2020, 03:54:15 PM- I rather like the "filler" eighth notes in the RH of I in m. 7+. Is there a reason why you took those out?
It is mainly because of the overlapping parts between the hands. I added back most of the notes, except for those overlapping notes
Quote from: Latios212 on August 19, 2020, 03:54:15 PM- A lot of notes are flipped when they shouldn't be - for example m. 10/22 I beat 3 RH, m. 26 II beat 3 RH, most of the chords in m. 27-34, the beat 1 dotted quarter notes in m. 35+, etc.
- II RH in m. 15-18 (and the similar part later) would be better written in two layers as the upper and lower voices do independent things
- The overlap is quite awkward in m. 10/22 I, you may want to consider rewriting that differently
- m. 27, 31-34, etc. II RH chords - this is on two pianos so you can feel free to leave the chords as they are even if a note overlaps one in the melody
Fixed
Cackletta, the Fiercest FoeQuote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- I'm pretty sure the title should just be "Cackletta Theme". I don't know if the 3DS version changed track names, but if you're arranging something for the GBA version you should use those track names.
I had indeed used the track name from 3DS version, as I found multiple names for the GBA version of the track and didn't know which one is official. I have now changed the name to "Cackletta Theme"
Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- I know there's not exactly a lot of room to work with here, but the 4th system (m13-15) is pretty cramped. Maybe adjust the spacing a bit for everything else and move those staves farther apart, or flip the slurs and articulations so they're inside the staff.
- I think the chord in m19 would sound better with G# as the lowest note, so maybe move the B# to the RH (keep it in the same octave).
- If you do the above thing, then add "Edited by Rubikium" to the top.
Adjusted
Showdown with Cackletta!Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- Title should be "Final Cackletta", shouldn't it? Similar to above.
Similar to above. Changed the name as mentioned
Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- Tempo marking should be aligned with the left side of the time signature.
- You can hide the half rests in m6-9 if you'd like, and flip beats 3-4 up.
- I hear that repeated line at m10 RH sounding more like this (applies for m10-17):
Spoiler
(https://i.imgur.com/6RbNcaN.png)
- The last two systems would look a little better if you had 2 measures, then 3, instead of 3 and 2.
- You can space everything on page 2 more apart to account for the extra space on the bottom.
Changed
Quote from: Static on August 20, 2020, 12:18:11 PM- The accidentals in this one are weird, but I think you picked the most sensible and easy-to-read ones.
I have changed some of the enharmonic spellings in mm. 1-4 to match mm. 18-19. They might not be easy to read though. I have also add some courtesy accidentals in mm. 10-17.
Quote from: Rubikium on August 26, 2020, 07:38:28 AMCackletta, the Fiercest Foe
I had indeed used the track name from 3DS version, as I found multiple names for the GBA version of the track and didn't know which one is official. I have now changed the name to "Cackletta Theme"
Adjusted
Looks great, nice S slur by the way. Those are so useful in places like this.
Approved.
Quote from: Rubikium on August 26, 2020, 07:38:28 AMShowdown with Cackletta!
Similar to above. Changed the name as mentioned
Changed
I have changed some of the enharmonic spellings in mm. 1-4 to match mm. 18-19. They might not be easy to read though. I have also add some courtesy accidentals in mm. 10-17.
Cool, I'll be
approving this one too.
Edit: The commonly used GBA titles are just that; commonly used. They're based roughly off of the Mario & Luigi Sound Selection Album "English" titles (here (https://vgmdb.net/album/14666)), which are direct translations of the Japanese titles. The "English (American)" titles would appear to be closer to the 3DS titles though I haven't played it. So while both are fine, I think it might be easier for users if, whenever people submit sheets of the 3DS remake, to use the newer titles so it helps keep everything distinct between the two games - just my two cents there.
Green Star - Super Mario Galaxy 2Quote from: Rubikium on August 26, 2020, 07:38:28 AMI'm pretty sure that dyad is C#-E, rather than E-G#. Some dyads are indeed changed for playability, but I might also have misheard a few of them
Just to be sure, here are the places where I'm hearing a different dyad:
- m25/33, I think I hear G#-B instead of B-E, but B-E is perfectly fine though, especially if you don't want to repeat the G# on beats 2 and 2.5.
- m26/34, I thought I heard Cn-E, but then I listened again and I definitely hear the Gn. So anything goes here, but Cn-E is an option if you don't want to repeat the Gn on beats 2 and 2.5.
- m27 sounds like A-B, but that might not work too well here. So, you could either keep what you have (E-A), or maybe consider changing the top note from A to B.
- m28, I hear A-C# on beat 1-1.5 and C#-F# on beat 2-2.5 (F# on top). I think anything works here, but I might prefer using A-C# or C#-F# instead of what you have so the F# doesn't repeat itself on beats 2 and 2.5.
- I think m35 is E-A instead of F#-A. Whichever one it is, you could also raise the lower note up an octave so that A isn't repeated as the top note on beats 2 and 2.5, if you wanted.
In short, I think pretty much anything is fine here as long as it fits the chord, and I'm happy to accept it as it is now (although double-check that F# in m35), but I just wanted to see if you had any preferences on these dyads given these options.
Could you also move the dynamic in m1 a little more to the right to be centered directly in line with beat 1 notes? There's enough space between the hands for it to fit.
One last, very minor thing: Regarding m29 Layer 2, do you have a preference between writing beat 3 as an eighth rest vs. a tied eighth note? I think either is fine, but you might consider using a tied eighth note instead since it'll be held by the pedal.
After this, I'll edit the tempo marking and accept.
I have adjusted the sheet based on the suggestions. Thanks for checking the sheet!
Quote from: Rubikium on September 03, 2020, 04:39:00 AMI have adjusted the sheet based on the suggestions. Thanks for checking the sheet!
Took care of the following last few things:
- Tempo marking text brought to normal size
- Dotted quarter rest in m3 split into quarter and eighth rest, since a dotted quarter rest isn't proper in 3/4
And so this shall be
accepted.
Cackletta Theme
Fantastic, nothing from me aside from some minor tweaks to the format to normalize the margins and space things out a bit more evenly. Accepted!
The Grand Finale
I hear a quarter on b4 of RH m25, not 16ths
I'm not sure how I feel about LH m35-50. It takes a background voice from a high register and pulls it lower and it then overpowers the rest of the ideas the LH is trying to play. I would recommend either reverting it to the first instance, or moving notes the 8ths are hitting along with the bassline personally. Keep it how it is for m50 though.
I think something like this would work quite well for m27-34
(https://i.fiery.me/DA98r.jpg)
Also up to you, but adding in some pedal can make the arpeggios easier because the performer doesn't need to hold the notes at all.
Otherwise, this looks pretty great, nice job.
The only issues I had with final cackletta were the weird font of the DC and tempo mark but I'll just fix those and throw it in accepted because it's great.
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:33:06 PMThe Grand Finale
I hear a quarter on b4 of RH m25, not 16ths
I'm not sure how I feel about LH m35-50. It takes a background voice from a high register and pulls it lower and it then overpowers the rest of the ideas the LH is trying to play. I would recommend either reverting it to the first instance, or moving notes the 8ths are hitting along with the bassline personally. Keep it how it is for m50 though.
I think something like this would work quite well for m27-34
(https://i.fiery.me/DA98r.jpg)
Changed.
Quote from: Maelstrom on December 09, 2020, 08:33:06 PMThe Grand Finale
Also up to you, but adding in some pedal can make the arpeggios easier because the performer doesn't need to hold the notes at all.
I have added a "con pedale" text at the start.
To do list after we're done making musical changes:
-Change con pedale text to a dynamic
-Rewrite tempo mark in finale
-respace systems so they're a hair further away from the running titles
-make system spacing more consistent across pages
aside from these issues which will be fixed later, I approve
The Grand Finale- m14 LH beat 1: Should be Fx instead of D#.
- You use Fxs for m15 and 17, but Gns for 50 and 53... It should be Fxs for both for consistency. The Fns at both sections should be E#s.
- m26 beats 3-4 RH: This should be 2 triplets instead of a sextuplet.
- m26 LH beat 1: Should also be Fx
- m29 LH Layer 1: D#s should be E#s.
- m37, 45 LH: These should be E#s (F#7 chord)
I made all the changes Maelstrom listed, along with the ones above. Here (https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Q9Hguz24E_7cnBtfdWR8b78_oP1T_0nf/view?usp=sharing)'s the finished version.
The Grand Finale (2 piano ver)
note: p1/2 =piano 1/2
-m5-6 - I'd recommend moving the chord from p2 LH to p1 RH and incorperating the arpeggio that's still going on there.
-m7+ p1 LH - maybe beef up those octaves like you did in your version of this sheet?
-12/22 p1 RH - I'd recommend removing the C on b4 because it hinders playability and is in the other hand anyway.
-m52 - p2 LH here hits on beat 3, not beat 1 for that low Gb. Same in m56
-Bass motion in m53-54/57-58 is not here and should be, imo
-m38/46 p2 LH b3 - half note should be a Gb.
-m42 b3 - Should be a half note octave here playing a Eb
-m49-50 p2 LH should look identical to m41-42 after the above edit
Otherwise it looks pretty great
The Grand Finale
The edits looks good. I have made some new changes at m. 26 RH (removed lower notes), and mm. 51-58 RH (changed lower notes). Please take a look.
The Grand Finale (2 piano ver)
Sheet edited.
Sorry this took so long. The initial tempo looks oddly large. Since you've got notepad, I fixed that for you. Aside from that, looks great, so I approve.
The Grand Finale
Sorry for the wait on this one, the additional changes look great. I'll accept this one now.
The Grand Finale (Two Pianos)
This looks good, just adjusted a few small things here and there including:
- Clef change for piano II LH in m. 5-6
- E naturals in m. 11/23 should be Fb
- Slight adjustments to system/staff spacing to even things out on the page
Accepting~
And that's a wrap on these replacements! Will move this thread to the project archive.