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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Projects => Topic started by: Libera on June 13, 2020, 11:59:50 PM

Title: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Libera on June 13, 2020, 11:59:50 PM
I did not manage to complete all of the replacements I wanted to due to health issues, unfortunately.  All of the below sheets should now be in the dropbox folder.  Note that all of these are challenge replacements.

Final Fantasy VIII - Don't Be Afraid
Original
[close]
Final Fantasy VIII - Force Your Way
Original
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Final Fantasy VIII - The Loser
Original
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Final Fantasy VIII - Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec
Original
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Final Fantasy X - Bravely Forward
Original
[close]
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on June 17, 2020, 01:44:30 AM
The Loser
Just two things, everything else looks great:
- Beat 1 of measure 5 should either have its voices separated or be flipped downwards (right now it looks like there's something missing beneath)
- It would be nice to write in a high Bb in m. 14 to capture that high chime in the original.
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Zeila on June 24, 2020, 02:15:04 AM
Don't Be Afraid
It looks great! Just a few things that you don't necessarily have to add:
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Libera on June 28, 2020, 09:20:12 PM
The Loser
Just two things, everything else looks great:
- Beat 1 of measure 5 should either have its voices separated or be flipped downwards (right now it looks like there's something missing beneath)
- It would be nice to write in a high Bb in m. 14 to capture that high chime in the original.

Should now be fixed.

Don't Be Afraid
It looks great! Just a few things that you don't necessarily have to add:
  • I think it's worth adding the pickup
  • That pattern in m10 and m18 sounds like there's a B and F on beat 4.5, but it is understandable if you intentionally omitted that

I've added the pickup; I hope you're happy because I had to redo the distribution for the whole sheet because of it.  In all seriousness I think it looks better now so thanks for making me do that haha.

Also I added those extra notes in 10 and 18; I'd just missed them when I was writing it down earlier.



Thanks for checking, you two.  It's much appreciated!

Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on June 28, 2020, 09:37:30 PM
The Loser
No problem, looks great ^^ Approving!
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: mastersuperfan on July 08, 2020, 06:46:47 AM
The Loser
Great! Accepting!
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 11, 2020, 09:19:53 PM
Bravely Forward
Awesome! Just a few minor comments on this one.
- I think m. 3/24 beat 2 has an Ab instead of a Bb in it.
- Something looks a little funny about the top tie in m. 34... maybe it's because they usually don't conflict with ledger lines? In any case, i think moving the right end left and maybe up a tad might look a bit better.
- I'd suggest moving the staves on page 2 down a bit so there isn't as much whitespace at the bottom.
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Libera on July 11, 2020, 09:56:50 PM
- I think m. 3/24 beat 2 has an Ab instead of a Bb in it.

Listening again, I think its an F.

Other stuff should be fixed, thanks for checking!
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on July 11, 2020, 10:00:23 PM
Ah yeah yup that sounds good. No problem, approved!
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Static on August 20, 2020, 07:12:42 PM
Bravely Forward
- The D.C. should be a D.S.
- m17 RH should have an F in every chord, along with the other 2 notes.
- m26-33 sounds like it should be an octave lower. There's room to move it down without it running into the LH part.
- m34-38 sounds pretty weak compared to the original. I think some lower octaves in the LH might make it pop some more. (Maybe also some kind of stomp or something on beat 1 of 34? up to you)
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Libera on August 23, 2020, 01:13:54 PM
- m26-33 sounds like it should be an octave lower. There's room to move it down without it running into the LH part.

Maybe 26-29, but I'm hearing the melody in 30-33 as being higher.  It might be doubled lower down in places but when I put it down the octave it sounded too low.  I wasn't sure about 26-29 but I decided to put it down anyway.

Other stuff should be fixed also.  Thanks for checking!
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Static on August 23, 2020, 04:25:37 PM
Sounds good to me, and everything else looks great too... accepted!
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Latios212 on August 29, 2020, 04:37:38 PM
Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec
- I'd suggest breaking the inner beam between the two triplets in beat 4 of m. 19. (Something else to think about - maybe flipping the melody up so the 3's aren't so close to the lower part.)
- There's more rhythm on beat 4 of m. 28-43 that you could use to fill out the LH accompaniment better. Any reason why you didn't include it? (Something like eighth notes everywhere except quarter notes in m. 31 and 39.)
- I'm a bit confused by your right hand part in m. 40-43. I'm hearing the voice ascend A-B-C-D (as everywhere else) and a harmony line on top of that ascend E-F#-G-A. The top moving voice written in the sheet now (while it fits the chords) is neither of those voices and sounds a bit different from the original when you write it that way I think.
- In m. 48 I'm hearing the grace note Bb (instead of G) before the Ab - descending to the melody.
- Is the last A in the RH of m. 51 supposed to be natural?
- Melody re-strikes the E on beats 2/4 of m. 56
- In m. 58 the eighth rest should be on the staff, and the tie should be flipped.
- The last couple parts could use a little more articulation in the melody. Specifically m. 48-54 could use some slurs/staccatos and m. 56-58 could use staccatos.
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Static on September 06, 2020, 07:38:20 PM
Don't Be Afraid
- I know this is kinda nitpicky, but if you're going to beam this piece in 3+3+2+2, the time signature should be 10/8. With that said, you could keep it as 5/4 and change the beaming since this is a really common 5/4 groove anyway.
- Maybe it's just me, but the beaming across m14-15 barline is more confusing to read than if it was just written normally.
- The beaming in m15 (and 13) itself kind of bothers me too because you wrote it in 5/4, when the rest is in 10/8. But, unlike the above, I think this actually makes it easier to read, so I think it's fine.
- The left side of the tempo marking should be aligned with the left side of the time signature.
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Libera on September 10, 2020, 06:53:47 PM
Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec

- There's more rhythm on beat 4 of m. 28-43 that you could use to fill out the LH accompaniment better. Any reason why you didn't include it? (Something like eighth notes everywhere except quarter notes in m. 31 and 39.)

I didn't include it because it's just percussion rather than actual notes.  It feels unnecessary to me to include it here.

- I'm a bit confused by your right hand part in m. 40-43. I'm hearing the voice ascend A-B-C-D (as everywhere else) and a harmony line on top of that ascend E-F#-G-A. The top moving voice written in the sheet now (while it fits the chords) is neither of those voices and sounds a bit different from the original when you write it that way I think.

I still hear what I wrote in but yes the other harmony you mentioned is there.  I rewrote it anyway to keep the vocal part on top.

I should have got all the other stuff.  Thanks for checking.



Don't Be Afraid

- I know this is kinda nitpicky, but if you're going to beam this piece in 3+3+2+2, the time signature should be 10/8. With that said, you could keep it as 5/4 and change the beaming since this is a really common 5/4 groove anyway.
- Maybe it's just me, but the beaming across m14-15 barline is more confusing to read than if it was just written normally.
- The beaming in m15 (and 13) itself kind of bothers me too because you wrote it in 5/4, when the rest is in 10/8. But, unlike the above, I think this actually makes it easier to read, so I think it's fine.
- The left side of the tempo marking should be aligned with the left side of the time signature.

I went with this beaming because it's what Latios suggested but I've changed it back to normal beaming since it actually looks fine.  (Let me know if any of the beaming is still messed up).  I fixed the tempo marking positioning as well. 

Thanks for looking it over.
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Static on September 10, 2020, 08:19:44 PM
Don't Be Afraid
I went with this beaming because it's what Latios suggested but I've changed it back to normal beaming since it actually looks fine.  (Let me know if any of the beaming is still messed up).  I fixed the tempo marking positioning as well. 
Looks good except for m9 LH and m14 RH (last note should be an 8th).
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Libera on September 10, 2020, 08:22:10 PM
Oops, fixed.
Title: Re: Libera's Replacements
Post by: Static on September 10, 2020, 08:26:10 PM
Nice, I'll approve now.