NinSheetMusic Forums

Submission Information:

---

Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Sunshine
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Corona Mountain
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: E. Gadd Industries (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4357)

Yes yes, it's me again. I got the itch to start working with arrangements again. I said one day that I would arrange the full Sunshine OST, so it's time I do that. :)

Posting this too bc it's not extended:

• m1-4 (and 36-39) might sound better with that bass drum part; replacing the low As and G#s with a 2nd layer would work nicely (keep the upper ones as whole notes).
• m3: Courtesy D# would be good here.
• Instead of writing "2x, 4x play forte" at the beginning, just write in "mf - f" at m5. It won't sound correct in playback but it tells the performer the same information and shows exactly where they need to change dynamics.
• m11 RH should be Fx-C#-Fx instead of C#-Fx-C#.
• m12 RH: B should be C#.
• m16 RH beat 4: E should be C#.
• m18 RH beat 1: G# should be C#.
• m22: Pedal markings should go below both staves.
• m24 RH beat 3: Maybe move that B down an octave, it doesn't sound that high up in the original.
• m30 RH beat 1: Layer 2 C# should be D#, Layer 1 should be half note (tie) 8th note + dotted 8th note instead of dotted half + quarter.
• In general, there are a lot of areas that sound like you wrote an octave higher than where they should be, you might want to consider moving many parts of the piece down (the LH is so low that it wouldn't get in the way much), and maybe remove the lower octaves to reduce muddiness. Up to you I suppose, but maybe give it a try.
• Instead of having separate endings at the end, just put a D.C. at m35; m1-4 and 36-39 are identical.
  
• Copyright info, page numbers, and some of the page titles are outside the margins. You can fix this by right-clicking and selecting "Edit Frame Attributes" and changing all values on the right to zero.
• This piece can fit pretty comfortably on 2 pages by decreasing the space between staves and systems, with 6 systems per page.

I was actually looking at this before Static posted his feedback, but here's what I also have to say:

• The margin dimensions on the second page aren't the same as the first page, so make sure that you fill in the "All pages" circle when you're editing page margins
• I think this could use either some kind of direction/expression text or some written dynamic variation throughout the song since it sounds like the original fluctuates a bit
• You can actually have "mp-f" play correctly for the first repeat if you set the key velocity to forte under playback in the expression designer, then check "play only on pass" and put 2 (although for this particular piece you could even just set the type to none since there's already a mp at the beginning and it ends/repeats in forte)
• For future reference, instead of putting "1,3." and "2,4." for the ending numbers when it's meant to be repeated forever, just write "1." and "2." in the "alternate text in ending" box when you're editing the ending
• I agree with using a D.C., and since that means the last measure would be stretched out, you should adjust the system with the page margin tool so that it takes up less horizontal space
• m16 RH beat 4 actually sounds like it has a C# and D# instead of just changing the E to C#
• m18 RH beat 1 sounds like it has both a C# and G#, and beat 4 sounds like it has a C# too
• m20 RH sounds like it has a G#
• m31 RH could be tied to another whole note

Of course this is just what I hear, and since some of it is conflicting information you could just try and see whichever one sounds right to you (or someone else can chime in?)

Note check:

• Measure 3, the Dn should be Cx. Saves you from having to write a courtesy accidental in the next measure too. :P
• This is what mm. 10–13 sound like to me:
  (https://i.imgur.com/Ff5xMpJ.png)
  So I'd say for mm. 10–11 you can either keep them as is, or drop the top C# to double the "melody"
• I hear measure 16 like this:
  (https://i.imgur.com/hsnOJH7.png)
  It sounds like a big leap because the main line (which isn't the highest) jumps from A# up to Dn between measures 15 and 16.
• Measure 18 has a C# on the first ledger line below the staff, which is held through measure 19 as well, but that G# on the first chord is also there.
• Measure 20 does have a G# in addition to all the other notes.
• You can double the line starting in m. 22 and/or bring it up an octave if you want, but the first C# should be above the Fx in measure 23. (The original is monodic and starts on C# below the staff, which also explains why Static finds the B in m. 24 too high.) In any case, the pedal indication should indeed be below the left-hand staff.
• Dn in m. 25 should be a Cx.
• Measure 30, the lower right-hand C# should indeed be a D#.
  

  Quote from: Static on July 20, 2020, 11:37:31 PM[...] Layer 1 should be half note (tie) 8th note + dotted 8th note [...].
  

  I assume you meant dotted quarter rather than dotted eighth? Personally, I would write half note (tie), two eighth notes (tie), quarter note.
• I can hear the C# in measure 31 until the second beat of m. 33, but really you can write it as long as you care to, I think.
• There are a number of measures in which I hear the very last eighth note of the bass motif as a C# instead of a G#. These measures are: 8, 12, 16, 18, 20, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30.

Here...

is a bump for you

Should I post this on the other one as well? Basically, I tried to get to work on the corrections when I was last pinged in the Discord server about it, but when I did, Finale wouldn't load for me and crashed just about every time I tried to run the program on my new laptop. Not sure why it's doing it, but anyway, my intentions were to try and get Finale fixed, but then I got sidetracked and now we're here.

I still have my previous laptop with a working copy of Finale, but it's back at my dorm and I won't be accessing it until the 24th. I do have fixing this sheet & the other one in my Trello for the spring semester to address the feedback and make the corrections, but if you want to archive them for now, I'll leave that decision in your hands.

Since that's coming up real soon, we can leave this here if you still plan on working on it. Let us know if you're having any Finale trouble.

Are you still around to work on this one? It's a bit past the 24th...

I'm gonna archive your SMS sheets since you've been pretty busy and these subs have been inactive for quite some time now. Feel free to submit them later!