Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Sunshine
Console: Nintendo GameCube
Title: Boss Battle
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arrangers: V.E. Norman (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=46) & E. Gadd Industries (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4357)
Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mus/280) | MIDI (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/mid/280) | PDF (http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/280)
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)
Let's try this again.Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on July 18, 2020, 07:34:56 PMAaaaaand here's a very much-needed replacement.
You might wonder about the sharps vs. flats usage here, but a lot of the choices I made are based on keeping consistency, specifically the dyads shown at major third intervals. (I also don't really remember the policy on those sorts of things here.)
Smh can't even submit things right anymore, it's been too long :')
Non-extended version:
- Before you do anything else, please fix your measure numbers. Measures 1 and 2 are not currently counted in the total, making everything else skewed by 2 measures. You can fix this by right clicking > Edit Measure Attributes > check "Include in Measure Numbering". The feedback below uses the correct measure numbers.
- The intro timpani roll sounds a lot different than what you have. I hear a very strong 16 note hits on beats 1 and 1.25 (Bb to Eb), and the roll doesn't start until beat 2.5.
- m1 beat 2 RH: This chord should be Bb-Eb-A, with no F#. The other chords in m1-2 should be the same, just transposed up chromatically. The LH should just be octaves (just remove the middle note), and I would also move it down an octave except for the first note.
- m1: When you go up chromatically, try and make the RH and LH move in parallel if they're the same chord; if the RH moves up a minor 2nd, move the LH a minor 2nd, etc.
- Lastly, the tempo doesn't shoot up to 190 until m3, so just keep it as 127 for m1-2.
- With the above points in mind, this is what I think the intro would best be written as:
(https://i.imgur.com/JmkaUvQ.png) - m9 beats 3-4: If you want to use sharps here, the Bbs should be A#s (F# major chord). This also applies to m34 and 59.
- m10 LH beat 4: Gb should be G#, same for m35 and 60.
- I hear something completely different in m9-10 RH:
(https://i.imgur.com/P8x3uDR.png) - Watch out, the lower trumpet line starting at m13 RH does not match the top notes in the original, it should be slightly different.
- Not sure if m19-24 really captures the original that strongly. You put a lot more emphasis on the moving 8th notes, but the half notes chords are much more prominent in the original. Maybe split this up in to different layers (like m36), or just leave out the extra 8th notes entirely.
- m28-33 RH should be an octave lower.
- m31 RH: I don't hear the C on beat 4, only on 3.5 and 4.5.
- m35 RH: Beat 3 should be Fn, not En.
- m35 RH should also be in half notes, it's OK to use two layers here. That melody figure is one of the most important parts of the entire piece so I think it should be the most prominent whenever it appears.
- Try to be consistent with your accidental use. In m5 for example, you use C#-E#, but in m13 you use Db-Fn; these are the same chords in the same contexts so they should be spelled the same.
- There are also a lot of spots where the accidentals in the RH and LH don't line up; look at m24 beats 1-2 for an example. I think if you went through one more time making sure the accidentals match between repeated sections and between hands, it would help clean up this sheet quite a bit.
- On page 3, instead of a 2-2-4-4 measure distribution, do 3-3-3-3 so it looks more even.
- I would suggest removing parentheses on cautionary accidentals, since they just add more clutter to an already hectic piece.
- It might sound strange since it's just a chaotic boss battle piece, but I think some dynamics would really spice up the arrangement. It's not just forte the whole way through. The melody swells up and down in m9-10 and 34-35, the intensity goes down a bit at m26-27, there's the short buildup in m42-43. There's a lot you can do here despite it being a pretty repetitive track.
- Copyright info/page numbers/titles are all outside the margins.
- The composer/arranger info should be below the track/game title, and there's enough space to move the systems down to make room.
Hey are you still around?
Quote from: Static on April 16, 2021, 04:21:18 PMI'm gonna archive your SMS sheets since you've been pretty busy and these subs have been inactive for quite some time now. Feel free to submit them later!