Submission Information:
Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario Maker 2
Console: Nintendo Switch
Title: Desert (Super Mario World)
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Apind (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=6565)
[attachment deleted by admin]
https://youtu.be/FMsbXliPRPc
Just popping in to say that, for the site, we would eventually make sure to have this titled, "Desert (Super Mario World)".
Welcome to NSM, and nice first attempt :3
There were some inconsistencies regarding formatting and for future reference you could use a template file (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=7600.0) so that at least all of the text, tempo, and measure numbers appear. A completed sheet that's submitted here should follow these guidelines (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=481.0). Aside from that, there are other general formatting/engraving stuff:
- The beaming isn't proper for 4/4 in some spots like where you have two dotted eighth notes in succession. Generally, sixteenth notes should be grouped by beat and there should be a clear divide in between beats 2 and 3 unless a (regular/non-augmentated) note falls on a down beat (i.e. if you have a half note starting on beat 2 it's okay that it crosses beat 3, but a quarter note that starts on beat 2.5 or a dotted quarter note that starts on beat 2 should be split with a tie). You can also refer to this guide (https://www.musicnotes.com/now/musictheory/note-beaming-and-grouping-in-music-theory/) for a general idea but it isn't fully comprehensive and there are some exceptions. Oh and in Finale there's also the option of using the "Rebar" tool under Utilities with the entire sheet selected to make it more standardized
- In addition to that, the groups of 3 eighth notes after a rest would be better off separated
- Since this piece repeats back to a specific measure, there should be a D.S. marking
Notes:
- maybe you could introduce some dynamic contrast between m1-2 and the rest of the song
- m1 and 2 LH I think would be nice to have octaves below it too
- m3-6 are exactly the same as m7-10 and you can just put a repeat bar there so that there's more room for everything to fit on one page with a nicer hypermeter; after this, the measure numbers will be off sync with the original since the duplicated measures are now gone
- m3-14 LH there are extra notes above the bass line (mostly 5ths, but other intervals too) that would be nice to add
- m7/9/11/13 RH beat 1 sounds like there's a grace note preceding the first note; same with the half note in m10
- m7-14 I know the entire melody sounds like it's doubled with octaves so it's not incorrect to leave everything in the higher register, but I think it could be nice to have this section's melody be lowered an octave since the instrumentation is different here
- m15/17/19/21 RH sound like both eighth notes on beat 2 should be staccato'd; also the first eighth notes of m16/18/22 sound staccato'd too
- m16/20 RH beat 2 the 32nd note is unnecessary as it just sounds like a regular eighth note with a mordent like how you wrote m18 and m22
- m22 RH beat 3-4 should just be a half note instead of two quarters
I updated the margins and formatting stuff so that it meets the standards and fits on one page, but not the notes. If you don't like the left margin or staff size/margin changes (basically, the left margin became 0.6in, staff size became 0.65cm, and the inner vertical spacing between staves became 0.85in) then I or someone else can change it back
[MUS] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/0379vcmuqt4mj7y/Super%20Mario%20World%20Desert%20-%20Super%20Mario%20Maker%202%20edit.mus?dl=1)
Quote from: Zeila on August 04, 2020, 05:50:13 AMYou can also refer to this guide (https://www.musicnotes.com/now/musictheory/note-beaming-and-grouping-in-music-theory/) for a general idea but it isn't fully comprehensive and there are some exceptions.
I also wrote up this :) Basic rhythm grouping in 4/4 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=10492.0)
Thanks for the notes Zelia, i do like the formatting and edits you did that you did, very helpful. Here are some of my responses to your notes:
I think as a piano arrangement the beat 2 8th notes in bar 1 work better if they aren't staccato, but if were going for accuracy here that could be changed
I was able to identify the bass notes from m3-14 that have 5ths in them but i couldn'tftp:// identify the other interval
To my best knowledge you can't use grace notes in finale notepad so that's why it was left out
m15-23 are more or less m1-2 in a major key, the odd measures of 15-23 are practically the same as measure one but in a major key, so likewise i think that it would work better for the piano arrangement to not have staccatos there, as for the staccatos in 16/18/22 i do like those and added them thank you for pointing those out
yeah the 32nd note was unnecessary
m22 was me just being lazy really, i didn't look close enough and just copy/pasted m18 without really checking
For dynamics and octaves i think It'll be staying the same
thank you again for the feedback! really helpful, the only thing i couldn't do was add the grace notes and i couldn't identify some of the bass intervals that you mentioned.
Hi! If you could update the files in the submission (as well as the title of the submission in the NSM Panel) with the most recent files including feedback and your response, that would help us continue checking the sheet so we can see what it currently looks like. Thanks :)
(1st) edit notes:
Whole sheet fits on one page.
Former bars 3-10 changed to be bars 3-6 with a repeat.
Added perfect 5th intervals on all left hand quarter notes (except on measure 2).
Changed the rhythm writing from dotted 8th note -> dotted 8th note to dotted 8th note -> 16th note tied to an 8th note where those used to be.
The 32nd note mordents have been removed in measures 15-22 and have been replaced by 8th note mordents.
Looking good, sorry for the wait! Some feedback:
- Do you have a source for the composer? Just want to check.
- Is there a reason the right hand melody is an octave higher than in the original throughout the whole piece? It makes the arrangement sound uncharacteristically light compared to the original.
- Beat 3 (RH) in measure 2 should be a half note (similar to the left hand).
- m. 3-5 should play the left hand on beat 4 as well.
- m. 12 should still be playing A in the left hand.
- D.S. should be a little lower.
- Music comes too close to the copyright at the bottom (I can help fix the formatting later if needed).
Quote from: Apind on August 04, 2020, 01:24:15 PMI think as a piano arrangement the beat 2 8th notes in bar 1 work better if they aren't staccato, but if were going for accuracy here that could be changed
Yes, the repeated A's on beat 2 should be staccato here. Same goes for m. 15/17/19/21.
Alright I was able to fix most of it up:
- Toru Minegishi did work on this track with other composers, but to add that onto the sheet would make a very long list so I didn't add it, but that could definitely be fixed quickly if you want that there.
- Melody is now an octave lower
- half note added
- I just realized that the light drum percussion thing was actually pitched, so yeah I added the beat 4 notes as well (they are also stacatto)
- m12 is still playing A in the left hand now
- I can't seem to edit the D.S. thing in Notepad
- Yeah i have no idea how to format in finale notepad
Edit 2 done.
Cool. Edited the spacing in addition to the following:
- added missing staccatos in m. 1 beat 2-2.5
- wrote in parallel fifths (to be consistent with the rest of the piece) in places that were edited - m. 3-5 beat 4 and m. 12
and reuploaded files.
Quote from: Apind on September 07, 2020, 01:43:45 PM- Toru Minegishi did work on this track with other composers, but to add that onto the sheet would make a very long list so I didn't add it, but that could definitely be fixed quickly if you want that there.
I getcha, I'm just asking for what source you have for this. A quick search on the SMM2 soundtrack lists the composers for the game but not who composed each track, though maybe I'm just not finding what you are.
Spoke on Discord and updated the composer info to include all the composer for the game.
Approving!
m11-13 is not a constant drone. I hear it get lower by a half step in m12 and a half step higher on beats 3-4 of m13. Take a listen and see what you think.
For the first note of m1, m16, 18, etc - At first, I heard the progression of this note to the next as downward in the original, but now I realize that it's because it's an octave. I don't belive it makes it that much harder to play and there shouldn't really be a problem with adding it.
Otherwise, it looks pretty much fine.
Bump for arranger, this one's really close.
The name of the submission also needs to be changed to reflect the sheet on the file.
Maelstrom I'm not quite sure what you mean by your second point, got the first point done (also just to let you know I originally had m. 12 being the half step below, but Latios changed it so it could be "consistent with the rest of the piece.") I will update the mus, pdf, and midi once I learn what you meant on your second point.
Got it fixed LeviR.star
Also sorry for the kinda late reply.
Quote from: Apind on November 10, 2020, 04:28:25 PMMaelstrom I'm not quite sure what you mean by your second point, got the first point done (also just to let you know I originally had m. 12 being the half step below, but Latios changed it so it could be "consistent with the rest of the piece.") I will update the mus, pdf, and midi once I learn what you meant on your second point.
Ah sorry, my bad, Maelstrom is right.
I meant something like this:
(https://i.fiery.me/51hBA.jpg)
The 2nd point is harder to explain so I just edited the files for you:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/wuctycu1gutm8td/Desert%20%28Super%20Mario%20World%29%20%281%29.mus?dl=1
Tell me how this looks
Yeah that sounds right to me
All right i'll edit them in and accept then.
This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4119).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot
Quote from: LeviR.star on October 22, 2020, 11:17:58 AMThe name of the submission also needs to be changed to reflect the sheet on the file.
Done