Submission Information:
Series: Tales
Game: Tales of Vesperia
Console: Multiplatform
Title: In Pitiful Silence
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: thatoneguy (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5442)
Somethings that I know need fixing or needs another opinion:
- Formatting needs help
- Most of page 2 is blank, extra measures that I couldn't figure out how to delete.
- I had a hard time deciding what notes were grace, and what were arpeggiated. I would like feedback on what you hear or think.
- I have breath marks written in because of the hesitations in the song. From what I can tell and have tried, they aren't really a measureable beat, so I put those marks in. Again, I would love to hear what you guys think.
There are probably other points that I have forgotten about, but those are the big things I remember.
I fixed some formatting stuff like removing the extra measures, changing the system distribution, and aligning the pedal markings (unless that just gets messed up in the export to mus, sorry). Aside from that, there were a few other things:
- I didn't notice any difference between the notes you wrote as grace notes vs the arpeggiated ones with just two notes, so I think it's better to just stick with one method of writing those (personally I changed it to arpeggios all around, but if you want to keep the grace notes then you should add a slur between the grace note and the one it leads to)
- I think the breath marks are okay
- You could just write "con pedale" instead of explicitly writing the pedal markings, but if you want to keep those in the score because of the way it changes, then that's okay
- I don't understand your dynamic markings in measures 10-13. Is only the LH supposed to decrescendo in m11? And is the dim. in measure 12 specifically only for half of the measure? Does that go to mf or does it go lower than that until measure 13 where you write mf (but only for the LH?). Also measure 15 should have some dynamic marking for clarity purposes
- m7 RH you were missing an A on beat 3.5
- m15 RH had missing E's, and the B grace note should've only been an E
- m16 RH missing B on beat 3
- m17 RH B grace note should be E
- m18 RH beat 1 missing B; beat 3 might have an A but I'm not sure...
- m21-25 LH Why is this different from m13/14, especially when the choir(or whatever instrument/sound that is?) is more prominent towards the end? I think you could add something like that here too, and you could make it more interesting by building up chords as it progressively adds notes
I did most of the changes and it's up to you do to the rest: [MUS] (https://www.dropbox.com/s/w1pifohjv3k6u3u/In%20Pitiful%20Silence1000.mus?dl=1)
Comments and edits to come soon (in the next week or so; tomorrow if possible). I have them written down, but I want to look again at them to make sure I wasn't missing anything or heard something I hadn't before. Transitioning into college for me has been...interesting to say the least.
How's that updated sheet coming? I've got time to check it and would be glad to do so
Sorry for the late reply. College has been keeping more on my toes than I thought it was going to recently. I think I have time on Friday and Saturday to actually go through it, upload the edits, add my comments, etc.
Quote from: Maelstrom on October 24, 2020, 10:15:56 AMHow's that updated sheet coming? I've got time to check it and would be glad to do so
Unfortunately, I think it'd be best to put this on the back-burner for a while. As much as I really want to get this submitted, time has not been on my side when I think I do have it.
I also have something else I want to arrange more right now for...reasons that shall become clearer in time ;)
I definitely plan on getting back to this one later, though. It just won't be for quite a while.
Good to know. I'll archive it for now; feel free to resubmit when you have time.