I was meaning to submit this sheet (https://www.dropbox.com/home/NinSheetMusic%20Project%20folder/Halloween?preview=Earthworm+Jim+3D+-+Fear+the+Forest.musx) sooner or later. Might as well be for a spooky update. Here's the source:
This is the PC version of the song. It's in the N64 version, but it's arranged differently there.
Here's some feedback!
Dynamics/articulation - think about these a bit. For example the RH is super quiet at the beginning, m. 8 is suddenly loud, etc.
- I think you could also write in the ascending run at the beginning as a whole tone scale.
- The m. 1-3 RH could be another octave or two up. m. 7 as well
- In m. 4 you can just denote straight eighths instead of a 4-tuplet. Maybe something like this (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/4463) (m. 17)
- In m. 6, extend the tie to the half note C
- The Db's in m. 11/13 and similar should be C#s. The Gb should also be F# in m. 13 and similar.
- m. 15 bas note on beat 3 sounds like D instead of C
- m. 16 beat 1 shouldn't be a half note (staccato quarter instead?)
- m. 17 sounds like an E major chord, not A minor
- Same for m. 24-25 for the above two points
- Don't think there's a grace note in m. 21?
- m. 24 is completely missing the ascending crescendoing part. It's a bit weird but something you can do at least is put a loud Bb on beat 1
- m. 24 - first notes in triplet should be F-E
- RH in m. 28-29 layer 1 - sounds like it should be an A minor chord, then F-F#-F as the half notes
- A flats in m. 31 should be G# (E major chord)
- I don't think I hear the melody A on beat 3.5 in m. 33, beat 2.5 in m. 34, or beat 3.5 in m. 35
- The bass is suddenly pretty high in m. 32-37 compared to the rest of the song, maybe consider shifting it down an octave or something?
- I think the chord in m. 37 may sound better with an A in it
- In m. 38, I would advise breaking the beams between beats 1-2 and 3-4 in the RH
- Chord in m. 39 should be E major
- Use a dotted half in m. 40 and 22
- I think the Gb in m. 40 would be better written as F# to preserve the intervals
Just to show some progress, I've updated the file up to where I am right now.
Quote from: Latios212 on October 09, 2020, 08:27:25 AM- I think you could also write in the ascending run at the beginning as a whole tone scale.
- Don't think there's a grace note in m. 21?
- I don't think I hear the melody A on beat 3.5 in m. 33, beat 2.5 in m. 34, or beat 3.5 in m. 35
I'm still trying to figure out how to notate the first concern. It's a bit hard to hear, so it may take a while to get right.
For measure 21, it's more of a slight bend than a physical grace note, but since you can't particularly bend a note on piano, at least not on a non-electrical one, I used a grace note instead.
You were right about measure 34, but I do hear the A on the other two measures. They're lighter than the other notes and pretty short, but since those notes are swung, I don't see a staccato being necessary for either.
Quote from: NineLives on October 10, 2020, 03:30:44 PMI'm still trying to figure out how to notate the first concern. It's a bit hard to hear, so it may take a while to get right.
Something like this doesn't have to be super precise. I suggested just notating a run using notes from the whole tone scale. Pretty similar to what the chord is, but starting lower
Quote from: NineLives on October 10, 2020, 03:30:44 PMFor measure 21, it's more of a slight bend than a physical grace note, but since you can't particularly bend a note on piano, at least not on a non-electrical one, I used a grace note instead.
I getcha, but my point was that I don't hear the pitch bend at all there.
Quote from: NineLives on October 10, 2020, 03:30:44 PMYou were right about measure 34, but I do hear the A on the other two measures. They're lighter than the other notes and pretty short, but since those notes are swung, I don't see a staccato being necessary for either.
That's fine, I was a bit iffy on whether they're there or seemingly implied, and they certainly make sense.
Let me know when you're done revising!
Quote from: Latios212 on October 14, 2020, 06:00:14 PMI getcha, but my point was that I don't hear the pitch bend at all there.
I really thought there was. I guess the synth confused me a bit.
It should be good now.
Cool. Last few things from me:
- Manually move the chord and roll marking more to the right in m. 2 to make more space around the roll marking/rest
- Measure 6 would probably be better on the next system (and the "straight" text should be an expression text so it's attached to the staff and not the page)
- End the 8va marking at the note in m. 5 instead of at the end of the bar
Quote from: Latios212 on October 09, 2020, 08:27:25 AM- m. 24 is completely missing the ascending crescendoing part. It's a bit weird but something you can do at least is put a loud Bb on beat 1
(now measure 26) Have you thought about this?
Quote from: Latios212 on October 09, 2020, 08:27:25 AM- A flats in m. 31 should be G# (E major chord)
(now m. 33) RH as well.
Quote from: Latios212 on October 09, 2020, 08:27:25 AM- The bass is suddenly pretty high in m. 32-37 compared to the rest of the song, maybe consider shifting it down an octave or something?
- I think the chord in m. 37 may sound better with an A in it
(now m. 39) I think I meant to suggest replacing the B with the A, especially if we're moving it down.
Quote from: Latios212 on October 17, 2020, 07:30:04 AM(now measure 26) Have you thought about this?
I did, and I'd rather leave the part out. I'm willing to have a crescendo for the triplets like normal, but having a Bb on the first beat as suggested doesn't sound right to me, sort of out of place with the rest of the arrangement. I hope that's all right.
In addition, I thought of dragging the 8va line in measure 9 over the whole notes of 10 and 11, since the B comes from the glockenspiel part as well and I feel it sounds nicer. Thoughts?
Other changes should be done if I haven't missed any.
All looks good. Real quick though, see if we can clean up the tempo marking at the beginning a bit. A few options:
- Swing! q=125
- q=125 (Swing e's)
- Swing! q=125 (e's=triplet)
Once you've got that, make sure the sizing and spacing of the notes and text are consistent as well. Then I think that's it from me ^^
Cool! Approving :)
m34 - I don't hear a piano chord on b3 here. It's in 36 tho.
Speaking of those piano chords in m34-37, they're actually an A and E, not an E and a B. I would recommend moving the A up and octave to prevent it from replaying the A played by the bass right before then.
m40 b4 - I hear a F here instead of the rest.
Staccatos would be nice in m17, m26, and m42
Slurs would be nice in m20-24
Quote from: Maelstrom on October 22, 2020, 05:58:38 PMm34 - I don't hear a piano chord on b3 here. It's in 36 tho.
That's odd, 'cause I definitely hear the chord. Maybe you couldn't hear it over the mute trumpet?
Other than that, I got the rest of the changes done.
I am 110% positive it's not here. Having it on the offbeat is the default for this kind of song, and the fact that it's never on the downbeat makes m36 stand out more when it hits 3 times. Maybe if another updater could listen?
Quote from: Maelstrom on October 23, 2020, 10:01:23 AMI am 110% positive it's not here. Having it on the offbeat is the default for this kind of song, and the fact that it's never on the downbeat makes m36 stand out more when it hits 3 times. Maybe if another updater could listen?
Maelstrom asked me to check and I do hear the chord on beat 3 of bar 36.
While I'm here though and looking at the sheet, there's one particular thing I'd like to comment on. I'm not sure the way you combine the chord and the bass in the left hand of bars 12-27 is really the best way to go about it. The left hand forms this sort of homogeneous texture which sits low on the piano and doesn't really sound much the like the original. I think it'd be much better if you brought the chords on beats 2-3 up an octave (perhaps with some inversions necessary) and kept the bass on beats 1 and 4 only. That sort of pattern would be much more natural on the piano and would sound a lot better and accurate to the original.
Quote from: Libera on October 24, 2020, 07:51:09 AMMaelstrom asked me to check and I do hear the chord on beat 3 of bar 36.
What we were discussing was whether measure 34 had a chord on beat 3. I hear the chord, but Maelstrom does not. That's what the double check was for. We agree on 36.
Quote from: Libera on October 24, 2020, 07:51:09 AMWhile I'm here though and looking at the sheet, there's one particular thing I'd like to comment on. I'm not sure the way you combine the chord and the bass in the left hand of bars 12-27 is really the best way to go about it. The left hand forms this sort of homogeneous texture which sits low on the piano and doesn't really sound much the like the original. I think it'd be much better if you brought the chords on beats 2-3 up an octave (perhaps with some inversions necessary) and kept the bass on beats 1 and 4 only. That sort of pattern would be much more natural on the piano and would sound a lot better and accurate to the original.
I took this into account, and I've switched up the chords a bit. Tell me what you think.
Actually, libera misspoke. We both talked and I now hear the chord on m34. I initially didn't because it's much quieter than the chords on the surrounding beats, but it's there now and fine to include.
Quote from: NineLives on October 24, 2020, 11:16:25 AMWhat we were discussing was whether measure 34 had a chord on beat 3. I hear the chord, but Maelstrom does not. That's what the double check was for. We agree on 36.
Yes sorry I said the wrong thing. I agreed with you about the chord in bar 34.
Quote from: NineLives on October 24, 2020, 11:16:25 AMI took this into account, and I've switched up the chords a bit. Tell me what you think.
Since Maelstrom was the one who has actually checked this (I only looked at those two particular thing), I'll leave the approving/checking that section to them, but it certainly looks more like I was imagining now and you've addressed my issues.
One last thing: the F on b4 of m30 is an octave lower than it should be, and I don't think it's staccato, since it's b1-2, but the 2nd 2 notes are reversed.
Also, I think the beaming there is a bit off, might want to fix that
Quote from: Maelstrom on October 27, 2020, 11:23:54 AMOne last thing: the F on b4 of m30 is an octave lower than it should be, and I don't think it's staccato, since it's b1-2, but the 2nd 2 notes are reversed.
I believe you meant measure 40, so I applied the changes there, beaming and all above. Got it updated!
I strongly believe that 8ths shouldn't be beamed in groups of 3s because they can be easily mistaken for triplets at a glance. The first half of the measure was fine, but the 2nd half had beats 3.5 and 4 beamed together and 4.5 by itself, which was the real problem I was talking about.
edit: and yes that was m40 my bad
Quote from: Maelstrom on October 27, 2020, 12:39:40 PMI strongly believe that 8ths shouldn't be beamed in groups of 3s because they can be easily mistaken for triplets at a glance. The first half of the measure was fine, but the 2nd half had beats 3.5 and 4 beamed together and 4.5 by itself, which was the real problem I was talking about.
Gotcha. Should be good now.
alright, looks great
accepted