Submission Information:
Series: Mario Party
Game: Mario Party 2
Console: Nintendo 64
Title: Keepin' on the Path
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Nine Lives (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5395)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Pretty good overall. There are a just a few things to fix:
- I would write this in 2/2 time instead of 4/4. You already have a metronome marking in half notes, so it's more consistent that way too.
- The left-hand notes are a bit different from what you have:
(https://i.imgur.com/Op45H8Y.png)
And the left hand continues like this throughout. In case you had changed it for playability reasons, I think you should at least mimic the right hand motif to have the proper balance of Gs and Ds. (Also the left-hand G at the end of measure 6 is a D third line.) - The chords starting in measure 25 are parallel triads, and should be written as such. Here's what it looks like in measure 29 with the full chords:
(https://i.imgur.com/cjW2DDM.png)
Measures 25–28 should be written like this, just without the top note. (You could also probably find a way to work in the chord stabs in measures 25 and 29 if you really wanted, but it's not really important.)
Additionally, maybe it's not possible, but I would try to find the precise composer for this piece if I can; it's a bit cumbersome to list all the composers credited for the game, and it's not like they all worked on every piece together either. For a start, I can probably rule out Yasunori Mitsuda, since the only reason he's listed is because he composed for Mario Party 1, and they reused some tracks from Mario Party 1 in Mario Party 2, so unless this is one of them he didn't write this.
All right, I should have all those changes in. The first section you were talking about wasn't changed for playability reasons, I just didn't hear it right the first few times. I hear it now though. It seems both the baritone sax and tuba/trombone parts are both the same, so I'd rather have them as octaves, if that makes sense. I'll also have to stick with the 3 composers because there isn't any concrete proof of who wrote which piece in this game, just who had written any pieces for the game, at least not from what I'm looking at.
Sorry for the wait - this looks good! Just a few small things from me.
- m. 6 beat 4 RH sounds like just a G instead of a dyad.
- Is there a reason for the lone staccato in m. 12? I don't hear that note being articulated differently
- Last note (G) in m. 16 should be an octave down
- RH of m. 16-20 should be an octave down
- There's a grace note E leading into the beginning of m. 24, but it's fine if you want to omit it at this speed
Unfortunately, off the top of my head I can't recall any source for narrowing down the composer list here.
Quote from: Latios212 on November 14, 2020, 03:21:40 PM- Last note (G) in m. 16 should be an octave down
- RH of m. 16-20 should be an octave down
- There's a grace note E leading into the beginning of m. 24, but it's fine if you want to omit it at this speed
- The G was an octave up because the next measure was up there and it'd be a big jump in a short window of time.
- I decided to have the next 4 measures up an octave because lower would make it clash with the bass in an awkward way.
- For the grace note, I'll leave it out because of the tempo.
Quote from: Latios212 on November 14, 2020, 03:21:40 PM- RH of m. 16-20 should be an octave down
Quote from: NineLives on November 14, 2020, 04:08:50 PM- I decided to have the next 4 measures up an octave because lower would make it clash with the bass in an awkward way.
Sorry, I meant to say 19-20. That would still be above the left hand part.
Quote from: Latios212 on November 14, 2020, 04:11:18 PMSorry, I meant to say 19-20. That would still be above the left hand part.
Oh. I gotcha. Updated.
Oops, forgot one more thing - the quarter-tied-half in m. 20 could be condensed to just a dotted half.
Anyway, approved!
Ah, this brings back memories...
- The RH and LH notes are really close to touching in the first system. I'd spread the staves apart a little bit there.
- You could also spread the systems out more so that there are four on the first page and four on the second, to make the distribution look more even and uncramped.
- In m25-32 LH, you don't beam over rests, but everywhere else in the sheet, you do. It should be consistent one way or the other. (While either way is okay, as updaters, we prefer not to beam over rests since that's more standard/conventional in notation. In the same vein, it's also more standard not to beam eighth notes in groups of 3 like you do in m5 and m7. To change these easily, just go to Document > Document Options > Beams and uncheck "Include Rests when Beaming in Groups of Four" and "Beam Three Eighth Notes Before/After an Eighth Rest." Then go to Utilities > Rebeam > Rebeam Music.)
Mkay, so the rebeaming didn't work as planned for some reason, so I had to do that manually. Regardless, I believe I got all the changes put in.
Very nice.
- You could move the opening dynamic a little bit down so it's not so close to the RH note + staccato.
- For the G at the end of m16, I would move it an octave down to match the original. Then, you can cross-staff it into the LH to make it playable.
That is all.
Mkay. Done!
noice
This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3561).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot