Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby: Triple Deluxe
Console: Nintendo 3DS
Title: Moonlight Capital
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: LeviR.star (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5007)
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This would fit quite nicely on three pages if you use 4 measures per system. 3 measures per system seems a bit stretched out since none of the measures are particularly busy at all.
Also the left hand C#/G# should be Db/Ab. (These alternating chords make it sound a bit like a Pokémon battle theme... :P)
I didn't actually check any notes when I wrote the above post, but I have now! A few more comments on the sheet, in addition to the above:
- So close to getting all the notes right... :P the A flats in the LH of m. 67-68 should be natural
- I'd recommend a courtesy flat on the first LH note of m. 23/47/59
- Dynamics - would definitely recommend more than just a mf at the beginning. Might I suggest at the very least a transition to f for the section in m. 51? I feel like that's the most exciting part of the piece and you only have single notes compared to the octaves that the previous section built up. (If so, don't forget a reminder dynamic back in m. 3)
- Beaming - I'd suggest not beaming over rests for much of this piece's melody. I think it's fine in m. 2 to emphasize those chords are from a different part but places like m. 5, 9, etc. could probably go without. Especially places like m. 13 and 68 where you have two disjoint phrases, no need to beam them together. Skimming the piece, I'd suggest cutting all beams over rests except for maybe the places with the chords in the right hand (2/26/50/70), which are also okay to change if you want.
Quote from: Latios212 on March 28, 2021, 08:06:30 PMThis would fit quite nicely on three pages if you use 4 measures per system. 3 measures per system seems a bit stretched out since none of the measures are particularly busy at all.
Also the left hand C#/G# should be Db/Ab. (These alternating chords make it sound a bit like a Pokémon battle theme... :P)
Quote from: Latios212 on April 17, 2021, 08:14:57 PMI didn't actually check any notes when I wrote the above post, but I have now! A few more comments on the sheet, in addition to the above:
- So close to getting all the notes right... :P the A flats in the LH of m. 67-68 should be natural
- I'd recommend a courtesy flat on the first LH note of m. 23/47/59
- Dynamics - would definitely recommend more than just a mf at the beginning. Might I suggest at the very least a transition to f for the section in m. 51? I feel like that's the most exciting part of the piece and you only have single notes compared to the octaves that the previous section built up. (If so, don't forget a reminder dynamic back in m. 3)
- Beaming - I'd suggest not beaming over rests for much of this piece's melody. I think it's fine in m. 2 to emphasize those chords are from a different part but places like m. 5, 9, etc. could probably go without. Especially places like m. 13 and 68 where you have two disjoint phrases, no need to beam them together. Skimming the piece, I'd suggest cutting all beams over rests except for maybe the places with the chords in the right hand (2/26/50/70), which are also okay to change if you want.
All of this done and updated! Thanks, Latios!
Looking good! You're welcome, approved :)
Just one thing from me: beat 1 of m49 sounds like it should be a quarter note. It's a bit longer than the one in m25.
Quote from: Static on April 18, 2021, 07:05:07 PMJust one thing from me: beat 1 of m49 sounds like it should be a quarter note. It's a bit longer than the one in m25.
Good catch, but I think that's the added reverb effect, and besides, I'd rather keep it consistent between those measures.
Quote from: LeviR.star on April 18, 2021, 10:16:10 PMGood catch, but I think that's the added reverb effect, and besides, I'd rather keep it consistent between those measures.
makes sense to me
I should be in
bed
This submission has been accepted by Static (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4960).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot