"Renbow Island" – [NDS] Pokémon Ranger: Guardian Signs
[Files] (https://www.dropbox.com/sh/p18ri7yascoo0ku/AACE4NikoHJ9otNqDmSQykf3a?dl=0) [Original] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LZZdE9GmxM)
First time actually submitting something in ages ^^
m9 is kind of crunched- I'd suggest moving it down a system. That way you can also have it so the last two measures aren't super wide
oh hey I put this one on a quiz lol. It's a great track
Quote from: Kricketune54 on July 26, 2021, 01:05:08 PMm9 is kind of crunched- I'd suggest moving it down a system. That way you can also have it so the last two measures aren't super wide
I'd rather not move it a system down, as that would break the whole 1-phrase 1-system scheme... IMO it's barely, but still in the acceptable crushiness range :)
If you want to de-crunch m. 9 without moving bars to different systems, you could resize the staff systems to 95% or 90%. If you have full Finale, you can do it with Page Layout Tool -> Page Layout -> Resize Staff Systems (System Reduction).
Other things I noticed:
-I'd suggest writing the "Alla Marcia" marking in the same expression box as the tempo marking. The font you should use for this is Times New Roman, size 14, bold (at least, that's what Finale defaults to for tempo markings)
-You use 8th + 8th rest or staccato quarter note for chords that (I believe) have the same length troughout m. 1-9: I'd suggest choosing one of the two notation styles.
-m. 8-9 R.H.: I don't hear staccatos on the quarter notes
-m. 9: Beat 2 is a triplet (instead of 16th - 8th - 16th). Also, I'd move the mp dynamic a bit more to the left, so it centers under the f on beat 4.
-m. 10-17: I believe this part is in Ab major (4 flats), although it never really gets there. The first six measures play the IV (Db) and V (Eb) chords of Ab major though, just like the in the first section (but in F major). Also, you need to do some notehead and articulation flipping in this part: the lower layer should always have stems pointing downwards with articulations underneath, and the upper layer should always have stems pointing upward with articulations above. The articulations mainly apply to layer 1 in the R.H., and the stems in the lower layer in the L.H., but there are some others too.
-m. 22 and 26: I'd move the mf and mp dynamic markings here a bit to the left, so they're centered under the first note
Files updated with above feedback included
Just going to disregard formatting for now in case future edits mess it up anyways, but it looks like there are some things that would be fixed by using cacabish's program detailed in this thread (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?topic=11860.0)
- m4 RH eighth note doesn't sound staccato'd
- m4/8/9 LH I'm not sure how viable those 10th chords are
- m5 RH quarter notes sound like dotted quarter notes
- m10/14 RH eighth notes could use staccatos
- m19/20 the crescendo here should have an associated dynamic at the end, and then mp back at measure 20 if you want it to go back to that
- m25/26 maybe you could put ff on the last quarter note and then subito mp at m26 just to make it a bit clearer
- I had trouble with note lengths as well, I couldn't make out what was part of the actual note and what was reverb... In the end, I decided to go for consistency with 16th-16th-8th stac. and non-dotted quarters everywhere, because having it just 1 time different than the others seemed weird to me?
- You're right, I shuffled voicings a bit, should be easier to play now.
- Same as above
- Done
- Well, what I wanted was a gradual crescendo from mp to ff in 4 steps (with no going back down), but I lack a dynamic between mp and mf :P
- Done
Looking good already! Just some small things/suggestions:
Quote from: Trasdegi on September 12, 2021, 12:59:28 PMI had trouble with note lengths as well, I couldn't make out what was part of the actual note and what was reverb... In the end, I decided to go for consistency with 16th-16th-8th stac. and non-dotted quarters everywhere, because having it just 1 time different than the others seemed weird to me?
I also clearly hear the staccato'd eighth in m.4 as not staccato'd though. I think it's not too much of a problem if it's different than the rest. I do hear the quarter in m5 as a quarter with reverb instead of a dotted quarter, though, so that's fine!
-m.16 L.H.: The quarter rest below the staff should be the same height as the ones in 10, 12 and 14.
-m.17 R.H.: The quarter rest here could go up a little bit though, so it doesn't touch the quarter note below it.
-For the gradual crescendo in m.18-25, there's a few things you can do:
- Go from mp to mf to più f to f to ff;
- Go from mp to mf to f to ff to fff;
- Don't use every dynamic marking and instead use "cresc. poco a poco", maybe even as a custom smart shape line that goes on until m.26
-m.26: The subito mp could go a bit more to the right, so the mp part is centered under the note. You could also use "mp sub.", so the text doesn't appear under the key signature, but either is fine I think.
-If possible, you could alter space between staves on the first page a bit, so that there's space to move the composer box down. It currently starts above the title box, which feels a bit weird to me.
Fixed everything & updated files.
Awesome! I'd only suggest lowering the half rest in the L.H. of m17 down like the ones in m11 and 15, but if you want, you can do that at a later fix too when another updater takes a look at it (just don't forget :p). Anyway, I'll just approve now!
- m1-9 is in C major technically. You can leave the key signature if you want, but I have a preference of using the key signature to indicate the tonic, not the mode.
- The bass in m1-3, 5-7 LH stays on C, so the Bb chords are actually Bb/C chords. Up to you if you want to change it in the sheet, but it has a bit of a different sound to it than with D in the bass.
- m10-27 would make more sense if it was just all written in Db major.
- m11/13, similar to m1-3, lose some of their effect without the Db pedal in the bass. Right now, you just have the chord progression going Db-Eb-Db-Eb, but the Eb chords should be Eb7 chords with Db in the bass. Try voicing the LH like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/VXowV0M.png) - Likewise, m14-15 have Bb in the bass.
- The mf in m20 is really close to the RH chord.
- The fff in m25 is really close to the barline.
- "Creatures, Inc." should have a comma after "Creatures".
- Copyright data should only be on the bottom of page 1.
A lot of these points may seem nitpicky, but how you voice a chord can have a large effect on how it's perceived. The chords themselves are "correct" in the sense that they have all the correct notes, but the different inversions make them sound a lot different to the original track.
I wasn't very happy with these voicings either, but having the bass where it should be sounded too muddy... However, after trying them out on an actual piano, I realise this was probably due to poor playback/soundfonts :P
For these dynamics, I realise now that some stuff is actually moving during finale's pdf export, but I think I found an acceptable middle ground.
Oh, and I added the missing page 2 title/page number as well.
Anyways, everything should be fixed now ^^
This looks great! The one last thing I would suggest is distributing the final two systems with 3 measures each, instead of 4 and then 2. It looks just a bit more evenly spaced that way.
Regarding the PDF export, Finale's built-in exporter sometimes causes problems with dynamic and articulation placement, so I'd suggest looking into one of those print-to-PDF exporters. Those usually work better.
After chatting a bit with Trasdegi, I went ahead and respaced those measures, as well as made a few other formatting adjustments (consistent lefthand margins on each system, increased running title text size, adjusted margins so composer/arranger text wasn't so far up). This one's good to go, so I'll accept now.