Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby's Epic Yarn
Console: Wii
Title: Outer Rings
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Latios212 (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4344)
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MSF has been asking me to submit this since 2017, and I finally promised him I'd get it submitted at some point this year, so here we are at the end of 2021 lol
-m3, m7 RH beat 3 add a staccato
-m10-m17 LH I'm assuming the rhythms were changed to alleviate the player of repeatedly restriking notes at a high tempo?
-As a followup, is the tie between beats 3.5 and 4.0 done to not obscure the beat, instead of just making this a quarter note?
-m10, 14 RH beat 3 make this a staccato quarter
-m28, 32 RH these notes sound held out longer than m26 and m30, would it be preferable to remove the staccatos?
-m35 RH ties into nothing
-m37 RH is this necessary to be two separate layers? I Know they're not really the same part just wondering considering how the rests line up, and that the top layer beat 4.5 seems a little unnecessary. Looking back the same I guess could apply for m1, m5. I could see the case for keeping 4.5 separate also though as a lead in/indicator for the top layer Flower Fields part
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PMLooking back the same I guess could apply for m1, m5. I could see the case for keeping 4.5 separate also though as a lead in/indicator for the top layer Flower Fields part
holy shit I never realized that's Flower Fields
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 05, 2021, 05:28:45 PMholy shit I never realized that's Flower Fields
HOW
ah shoot I missed Kricketune's post above, sorry!!
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PM-m3, m7 RH beat 3 add a staccato
I don't really hear this as staccato
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PM-m10-m17 LH I'm assuming the rhythms were changed to alleviate the player of repeatedly restriking notes at a high tempo?
-As a followup, is the tie between beats 3.5 and 4.0 done to not obscure the beat, instead of just making this a quarter note?
-m10, 14 RH beat 3 make this a staccato quarter
I'm not really sure what rhythms you're referring to that were changed? This is an accurate depiction of the melody + piano part as far as I can tell. I did change how a couple of the rhythms were written as you suggested above (looking at it now, makes more sense to write it that way) but I'm not sure if you thought it should sound different or anything.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PM-m28, 32 RH these notes sound held out longer than m26 and m30, would it be preferable to remove the staccatos?
I don't think I hear a difference noticeable enough to warrant writing them differently - stylistically I think it would make the most sense for them to match, so I'd like to leave the staccatos there.
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PM-m35 RH ties into nothing
That was intended to suggest that the sound should linger on (see the end of this sheet (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/download/pdf/2679)) but looking at it again I don't think it'd really result in any clarity for the reader. So I just removed them (in favor of tying them over to another note, to give more time for the jump back to the lower notes in m. 36)
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PM-m37 RH is this necessary to be two separate layers? I Know they're not really the same part just wondering considering how the rests line up, and that the top layer beat 4.5 seems a little unnecessary. Looking back the same I guess could apply for m1, m5. I could see the case for keeping 4.5 separate also though as a lead in/indicator for the top layer Flower Fields part
Musically - yes because the G is present in both the chord and the high melody in the original. This is also done for playback reasons since you can't tie notes between different layers.
Files updated, thanks for looking :)
QuoteI don't really hear this as staccato
Neither do I anymore lol
QuoteI'm not really sure what rhythms you're referring to that were changed? This is an accurate depiction of the melody + piano part as far as I can tell. I did change how a couple of the rhythms were written as you suggested above (looking at it now, makes more sense to write it that way) but I'm not sure if you thought it should sound different or anything.
I should have been more specific about my LH comment. I hear the rhythm as follows in m10:
(https://i.imgur.com/1T9EAqh.png)
What I should've specified is in the original Epic Yarn song, I hear the bass and piano doing what you have on beats 1-2 at m10 for example, but that beat 3 is an eighth note but that so is beat 4.0 (obviously written as a staccato quarter). This 2 quarter, eighth rest, eighth and staccato quarter rhythm lasts in some form through m10-17. I hear this instead of the quarter/formerly tied eighths you have on 3.5 and 4.0, my original post was asking if that was an arranging decision to not make the LH part have as many restrikes.
Hope that makes sense!
Ah got it - you meant that some of the notes I had tied over are actually restrikes in the bass. The rhythm I wrote was going off of the (piano?) part that strikes the tonic (C) repeatedly. But yeah, the bass does have those extra restrikes and they help keep the driving motion going without being difficult to play (the RH here is already harder).
Edited accordingly, thanks again!
This is a feel-good track if I ever heard one haha. Here are some things I noticed:
-Bar 2/6 left hand beat 3.5 sounds like a B to me.
-Thoughts on adding a C to all of the left hand octaves in bars 10-17 to match the original more? I think it sounds pretty good even if it isn't at quite the right octave. I guess with it being an octave lower than written this doesn't sound as good as I thought. Thoughts on putting it up an octave so that you can do it? I think it'd be better to sound fuller rather than bassy, personally, especially since you have so much bass in the other sections.
-Is there a double tap on beat 3 of bar 36 in the left hand? Kind of hard to tell if it's just the percussion or the bass also.
-Some of the ties in bars 23-25 could maybe do with some cleanup.
-Maybe you could have 10-17 as a lower dynamic (mf?) to get a little dynamic variety in.
Quote from: Libera on December 27, 2021, 02:41:41 AMThis is a feel-good track if I ever heard one haha.
Makes sense since Good-Feel was a developer ;)
For m. 10-17 I think I'd prefer to keep it as is. If I were to raise it up an octave that'd be a pretty big jump (both playability wise and in sound) when transitioning to and from the section. And I think writing them in as low intervals above the lower bass note kind of distracts from hammering out the bass notes. Also dynamic wise I think the whole piece is pretty consistently high-energy and don't think I'd want to single out this part as being softer especially since the right hand already has no harmonies to work with.
I think you're right about all the other stuff - I've made those edits. Thanks for looking!
Quote from: Latios212 on December 27, 2021, 05:14:00 PMFor m. 10-17 I think I'd prefer to keep it as is. If I were to raise it up an octave that'd be a pretty big jump (both playability wise and in sound) when transitioning to and from the section. And I think writing them in as low intervals above the lower bass note kind of distracts from hammering out the bass notes. Also dynamic wise I think the whole piece is pretty consistently high-energy and don't think I'd want to single out this part as being softer especially since the right hand already has no harmonies to work with.
That's fair.
The other edits look good. Approved!
- m1, move dynamic a bit right
- Maybe "Play LH one octave lower than written" to be extra clear? That's what I write
- The half rest in m3/7 looks kinda weird hanging off the bottom of the staff when the Layer 2 notes themselves aren't that low, I would suggest moving the rest up onto the staff
- I actually also hear m3 RH beat 3 as staccato but it seems you guys have already decided against that lol
- m3 RH beat 4.5 I hear a C in the chord
- RH: m5 beat 2.5, m9 beat 2.5, m9 beat 3.5, the chime-y voice plays an extra G eighth note on these beats
- m9 LH beat 3, I hear the F like on m5 LH beat 3
- m16 RH beat 2 sounds slurred to me instead of staccato
- m17 RH beat 4 sounds staccato to me
- m21 LH beat 3.5, I hear a G (sounds like the bass jumps up from B to G and then back down to the D)
- I hear the same G on m25 LH beat 3.5
- m27 and m31, I hear the bass restrike on beat 2.5 like in m29 and m33
- The RH in m26/28/30/32 doesn't really sound staccato to me in the original
- On m29 and m33 RH beat 1, I don't hear the Ab
- m33 RH beat 4 sounds like An instead of Ab
- m35 RH beats 3.5-4.5: the G played by the chime always stuck out to me way more than the piano chords. I probably would've written those three notes as repeated G-C-G chords (maybe with an F and/or A thrown in the middle as well) instead, which on piano sounds closer to what the original sounds like to me
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- I actually also hear m3 RH beat 3 as staccato but it seems you guys have already decided against that lol
Yeah... I think it's fine without
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- m3 RH beat 4.5 I hear a C in the chord
I wrote it in beat 4 as well, and in m. 7 too
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- RH: m5 beat 2.5, m9 beat 2.5, m9 beat 3.5, the chime-y voice plays an extra G eighth note on these beats
A bit hard to me to hear but maybe that's just Flower Fields imposing lol, changed
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- m16 RH beat 2 sounds slurred to me instead of staccato
I just un-staccato'd it since slurring octaves is hard
Quote from: Kricketune54 on December 05, 2021, 01:19:06 PM-m28, 32 RH these notes sound held out longer than m26 and m30, would it be preferable to remove the staccatos?
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- The RH in m26/28/30/32 doesn't really sound staccato to me in the original
I'll just remove them then
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- On m29 and m33 RH beat 1, I don't hear the Ab
I filled it in to have a consistent harmonic structure as in 27/31
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- m33 RH beat 4 sounds like An instead of Ab
Ooh right. I copied this over to m. 29 as well since I just realized that has the same beat 4 strike
Quote from: mastersuperfan on December 28, 2021, 06:08:02 PM- m35 RH beats 3.5-4.5: the G played by the chime always stuck out to me way more than the piano chords. I probably would've written those three notes as repeated G-C-G chords (maybe with an F and/or A thrown in the middle as well) instead, which on piano sounds closer to what the original sounds like to me
Gotcha, yeah I wasn't too sure about this when I initially wrote it. Slightly different from what you suggested but I think C-F-G-C does the trick
Files updated, thanks for looking!
I think both the RH and LH on beat 1 of m34 should be tied over from beat 4.5 of m33, like this:
(https://i.imgur.com/O1LK628.png)
You might have omitted this to avoid a jump, which makes sense, I just like the anticipated beat here and I think it'd be cool to include. You could take out the lower notes on beat 4 to make it easier if you wanted.
Yeah, I did omit that originally to make the jump a little easier. I'm fine putting it back though, I updated the files :)
Looks like you missed the LH :P
Oops got it :P I'll forego the staccato though, this piece is fast and I don't have any staccato eighth notes anywhere
Ah yeah that makes sense, I missed some of the earlier discussion. All looks great to me :)
Last few things:
- m15 RH beat 3 also doesn't sound staccato to me
- Maybe increase the space between the LH and RH staves in m21 since the LH beam gets close to the RH? Not a big deal though
- The incoming lower tie into m34 RH looks really squished
- I actually don't hear the C in the RH on m3 RH beat 4 (only 4.5), but it's fine to keep it :P
All adjusted, except the last point! (I think it makes sense to keep those chords the same)
nice
This submission has been accepted by mastersuperfan (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=3561).
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